Please Stop Spreading Rumors About Me — They Keep Coming True

LinBohasonedream:openasmallnoodleshopandmakesureabsolutelynooneeverlearnshisname.Thisisaproblem.Becauseinhisworld,fameISpower—themorepeoplebelievethestoriesaboutyou,thestrongeryouactuallybecome—andLinBohasjustbeencursedwithamagicscrollthatgotFIREDfromHeavenformakingthingsup.Nowthescrollwon'tstoppublishinglegendsabouthim.Ridiculousones.“LinBoKilledaDemonLordWithaSingleSneeze.”“LinBo'sNoodlesContaintheWayofHeaven.”Andthankstoonesmallruleoftheuniverse—theharderyoudenyarumor,thefasteritspreads—everystupidstorycomesTRUE.Sonowhe'sthemostpowerfulmanalive.He'salsothebiggestlaughingstockinalltherealms,withafanclub,ashrine,apileofwomenwhokeepshowingupforverydifferentreasons,andademonkingoutforrevengeoverthewholesneezeincident.Hejustwantednoodles.Buttherumorsaregettingbigger.Soishe.Andsomethingveryoldandveryquiethasstartedtonoticethatthemostfamousmanintheworldmightbetheonlythingholdingtheskyup...