Please Stop Spreading Rumors About Me — They Keep Coming True Chapter 53: The Mercy of Forgetting

The Editor changed its strategy, and the new one was worse, because it didn’t have to unwrite anyone at all.

It just had to make them want to be unwritten.

We learned this in a city called Greywater, where we’d gone because the Scroll sensed gaps — but not the old kind. Not erasures. Sothing new, and it troubled the Scroll so badly it could barely describe it. "They’re not being taken, talent," it said as we rode in. "They’re— oh, this is wrong, this is so wrong— they’re leaving. On purpose. People are choosing to be forgotten. I’ve never felt anything like it in forty thousand years."

Greywater had survived a plague the winter before. Half the city had died. And the half that lived were drowning — not in water, in grief, the unbearable kind, the kind where you wake up every morning and have to rember all over again that the people you love are gone. A whole city of fresh, screaming, daily grief.

The Editor had co to them gently. Kindly. Enchanting. The way it does.

It offered them peace.

We found people in the streets with a terrible calm on their faces, a smoothness, and when we spoke to them we understood what had happened. The Editor had whispered to each of them in the dark: I can take it away. The grief. The wound. Let unwrite the one you lost, and the pain goes with them. You won’t hurt anymore. You won’t even rember there was anything to hurt about. Just say yes, and rest. And the grieving, the exhausted, the people who could not bear one more morning of rembering — so of them had said yes. And woken smooth and calm and empty, their dead gone from their hearts entirely, and with them all the pain.

There was a man in the central square. He’d lost his wife and both his daughters to the plague. He was sitting on the steps of the temple, and beside him knelt a smooth, calm, hollow neighbor who’d already said yes, telling him gently how much better it was, how the hurting just stopped, and the man was listening, and I could see he was going to say yes too, because he had a photograph-locket of his three girls in his hand and he could not bear to open it one more ti.

This, I realized, was the hardest mont of the entire war. Harder than the Editor’s blanking of Willowre. Because there, the Editor had been a monster taking people against their will, and that was easy to fight.

This wasn’t that. This was a broken man being offered an end to pain he could barely survive, and a real part of — the part that had buried the noodle-shop dream, the part that carried the weight of a war I never asked for, the part that was so tired — a real part of understood exactly why he’d say yes. Who was I to tell a man drowning in grief that he had to keep drowning? What right did I have to force rembering on soone, when forgetting would genuinely, truly end his pain?

"Don’t," Yun Shu said quietly, beside , reading my face the way she does. "Don’t you dare make this choice for him. Either way."

"He’s suffering," I said, my voice rough. "The Editor’s not lying to him. If he forgets, it really does stop. Maybe— maybe we don’t have the right to—"

"We don’t," Yun Shu agreed. "That’s exactly right. We don’t have the right to make him forget, and we don’t have the right to make him rember. He does. The Editor’s whole evil isn’t the offer, Lin Bo — it’s that it makes the offer to people too broken to choose clearly, in the dark, alone, when they’re at their weakest." She looked at . "So don’t take the choice from him. Give it to him. Properly. In the light. With the truth. And then let him decide, like a free person, instead of a desperate one."

So I went and sat down beside the man on the temple steps. I didn’t tell him forgetting was wrong. I didn’t tell him to keep his pain. I just sat with him, and after a while I said, gently:

"You can say yes. To the forgetting. No one will stop you, and no one will bla you, and the hurting really will stop. I won’t lie to you about that." He looked at , startled. "But I want you to know the whole truth first, so you’re choosing it awake instead of asleep. If you forget them — your wife, your daughters — the pain goes. But so do they. Every good morning. Every ti they laughed. The way your wife said your na. The weight of your girls when they fell asleep on you. All of it. Gone, like they never were. You won’t grieve them — but only because there’ll be no them left to grieve. The pain you’re carrying—" I nodded at the locket in his hand "—that’s not a wound, friend. That’s the love. It’s the exact shape of how much they mattered. The grief is just the love with nowhere left to go. And if you let the Editor take the grief, it takes the love too, because they’re the sa thing. You’d be at peace. But it’d be the peace of a man who never had a family at all."

The man was crying now, openly, the locket shaking in his hand.

"Which is worse," he whispered. "To hurt like this forever, or to feel nothing and have never loved them at all?"

"I can’t answer that for you," I said softly. "Nobody can. It’s the most personal choice there is. But I’ll tell you what I believe, for whatever it’s worth from a tired fraud in stupid pants." I looked at the locket. "I think the hurting is the last gift they gave you. I think it’s proof you got to love them. And I think feeling nothing forever is just a different kind of dying — the kind where you’re still walking around. But that’s . You’re the one who has to carry it. So you choose. Freely. Awake. Whatever you decide, I’ll honor it."

The man sat for a long, long ti. The smooth, hollow neighbor waited, calm and empty, for him to join the peace.

Then, slowly, with shaking hands, the man opened the locket. Looked at his three girls. And wept — great, racking, terrible, alive sobs, the grief crashing back over him at full force — and through the tears, he said: "No. No. I’ll keep them. I’ll keep all of it. I’d rather break every morning for the rest of my life than wake up tomorrow having never had them at all." He clutched the locket to his chest. "They were real. They were mine. I won’t let it take them. It will hurt. It will hurt forever. But They’re worth it."

And I felt the Editor, sowhere in the smooth quiet edges of the city, withdraw from that man — defeated not by force, but by a grieving father choosing, awake and free, to keep his love and the pain that ca with it.

We couldn’t save everyone in Greywater. So had already said yes, and were gone smooth and empty, and you cannot un-choose a thing for soone. But we set up there for a while, and we did the only thing that works against the seduction of forgetting: we made sure every grieving soul got to choose in the light, with the whole truth, free and awake — and offered, to any who’d lost soone to the plague, the work of rembering them properly, loudly, together, so the grief had sowhere to go besides oblivion. And most of them, given the real choice, chose to keep their dead.

That night the Editor spoke to directly, for the second ti, quiet in the spaces of my own exhaustion.

You’re so tired, little light, it said, almost tenderly. I can feel it. The weight you carry. The dream you buried. The war you never wanted. I could take it all. Not just for them — for you. Set it down. Forget the noodle shop you’ll never have, the burden you never asked for. Rest. Wouldn’t it be sweet, to finally not have to rember?

And I’ll be honest with you. For one mont, bone-tired on the steps of a grieving city, I felt the sweetness of it.

Then I thought of Yun Shu’s hand in mine, and Tao Tao’s banners, and a drowned girl’s na lit back into the sky, and a thousand empty chairs waiting to be filled, and a grieving god who’d hoped for the first ti in a thousand years.

"No thanks," I said. "Turns out the things worth rembering are worth the weight of rembering them. Even the hard ones. Especially the hard ones." I almost smiled into the dark. "Nice try, though. You’re a very good salesman. Reminds of soone I know."

The Editor withdrew. I slept. And I dread — for the first ti in a long ti — not of six quiet tables, but of a sky with all its lights lit.

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Author Thought: I once heard that a person dies three tis. First, when their body stops breathing. Second, when they are buried. And Third, when they are forgotten by last person who Rember Them.

I don’t rember where I heard it, but I never forgot it.

That is one of the reasons I wrote this Chapter. The man in Greywater was not only being asked to forget his pain. He was being asked to lose his wife and daughters one last ti—to erase their laughter, their voices, their faces, and every small mory that proved they had once been real.

Yes, grief hurts. Sotis it hurts so much that forgetting feels like rcy. But maybe grief is also the final ho of love. Maybe every tear is proof that soone mattered, that they were here, and that they were deeply loved.

The man chose to keep the pain because keeping the pain ant keeping them.

And I think that is what rembering really is: Refusing to let soone die for the third ti.