Into the Apocalypse: Saving My Favorite Villain

Itissaidthatachildfindscomfortonlyintheirhome—theirSanctuary,theonlyplacewheretheyfeelsafe,loved,andatpeace.Thisisthecaseformanychildren,evenadults.Butunfortunately,ItwasdestinedthatIwouldnotbeoneofthem.Inmyownhome.Amongmyfamily.Withthemotherwhogavebirthtomeandthesiblingswhocamefromthesamewomb.Ihavenever,notevenforoneday,feltloveorcomfortthere.Mysistersareashamedofme.Myyoungerbrotherdoesnotrespectme.Andmymother?Sheistheharshestofall.SinceIwasachild,shehasnotlovedme,cannotstandtoseeme,andscoldsmewhenevershedoes.AsIgrewup,Ibecamenothingbutthefamily’sdisgrace—amovingmoneyboxformymotherandmylittlebrother.HowmanytimeshaveIthoughtaboutendingmylife?HowmanytimeshaveIthoughtaboutgivinguponthismiserablelife?PeoplemaythinkIamtoodramatic,but—Ifyouhavenotburnedyourselfonlivecoals,howcanyoufeeltheirheat?Nooneinthisworldwilleverunderstandme.Butthat’sallright.BecauseIdidnotgiveup.NotbecauseIamstrong.NotbecauseIamholdingontolife.Butbecauseofoneperson.Exceptthispersonwasnothuman.Notananimal.Notevenaghost.Thispersonisthefinalvillaininmyfavoritenovel.Yearsspentfollowinghim,readingeverythingthathappenedtohim.Yearsspentaccompanyinghim.Hisexistencebecamemyworld—myonlyworld.Ilovehim.Iadorehim.Evenifheisnotreal.Evenifheisonlyamanofpaperandink.Iamwillingtodoanythingforhim.Iwoulddieforhim.Andthenthegodsgrantedmemyonlywish...Now,Iaminhisworld.Andthistime,Iwillsavehim.Yes,Iwilldotheimpossibletosavehim.Iwillkillforhimanddieforhim.So,Cassel…ThisishowmadlyIloveyou.HowmuchIamobsessedwithyou.Iamreadytodestroymyselfandthewholeworldforyou....So,canyoulookatme?