Cassel — POV
Looking at the lively curve of her neck trembling between my hands, my tension didn’t fade, nor did I feel any joy for having saved her in ti.
Because she should never have been in danger to begin with.
My treasure—my most precious thing.
Last ti, I had sworn to protect her with every ounce of my strength and unwavering resolve, never letting her out of my sight so that she would be shielded from any danger or harm in my absence.
I swore that with my strength, it wouldn’t be difficult to give her a normal and safe life, even in this rotten world.
But what was the result?
Rosalia was trembling, her tears still frozen in her eyes.
She cried with sorrow and fear, clinging to as if I were her last thread of salvation.
She had faced danger.
She had faced death.
She was injured.
She nearly lost her life.
And once again...
Once again, Rosalia had fallen into trouble while I wasn’t by her side.
Once again, she faced a mortal threat that nearly took her life—and tore her away from forever.
What am I supposed to do?
What do I do with this fire raging in my chest?
What do I do with this fla that eats away at , growing hotter every passing second?
What do I do with this unbearable pain—
The pain of imagining losing you... The pain of living without you.
What am I supposed to do with you, Rosalia?
Just tell .
I pulled that trembling neck closer, tightening my hold around her.
Especially when she tried to move toward danger again.
She didn’t even have the strength to save herself—where did she get the confidence to walk toward danger on her own?
Where did she find the courage to believe she could confront that zombie, the one capable of brainwashing my n and controlling them with ease?
How did she intend to save them when she couldn’t even protect her own life?
"C...ae..."
In a soft voice, still trembling with fear, she called my na.
"Cae... I—"
I didn’t want to hear her speak.
Maybe she wanted to say she was hurting, that I was holding her too tightly.
I already knew my grip must have caused her pain.
But I couldn’t loosen it.
Because I was terrified she would slip from my arms the mont I let go—and I would lose her.
Terrified that if I released her, she would disappear from my life forever.
Nearby, I heard my n arguing.
Judging from their actions, it seed the child zombie had also taken control of Frederic and two of General Zan’s n who ca with us, and they were fighting violently.
From the corner of my eye, I saw Henry manipulating his wind to soften Liz’s flas, desperately trying to defend himself without hurting her.
I was not oblivious to my surroundings—I saw and heard everything.
I knew several battles were breaking out around us.
I heard my subordinates shouting.
I heard Ruben curse loudly, "Damn it, Frederic! How can you let a child zombie control your mind?! Wake up, idiot, or I’ll drown you in my toxic sludge and lt your flesh!"
Though he would never truly do that to his friend and comrade.
He kept dodging Frederic’s stone-covered body, trying to protect himself from his powers.
Other n were fighting with daggers and fists.
And Henry continued shouting Liz’s na, trying to remind her of herself so she could break free from the zombie’s control.
I saw everything.
I knew everything.
I knew this wasn’t the ti to think about these chaotic emotions.
I knew I needed to intervene—to use my power, since I was the only one capable of restraining that child zombie of a completely different level, one that the others could not handle.
I knew, I knew all of it.
But my selfishness in that mont refused to let think of anyone else.
I didn’t want to care about anyone’s life or death.
The only thing on my mind was how to deal with Rosalia—
How to keep this woman by my side.
How to make sure she stayed safe with .
Then suddenly, a thought crossed my mind.
A foolish, insane thought.
"I wish you were smaller, Rosalia..."
I wish you were small enough to fit in my palm.
I wish you were tiny enough to carry in my pocket at all tis.
I wish I could tie you to so you’d never take a single step away.
But what angers most... is that this ti, I am the one who allowed you to go far.
I am the one who pushed you away.
I am the one who left you to face danger alone.
And all because of sothing so stupid.
All because of my annoying jealousy.
Because I didn’t want you to hear Henry’s confession.
Because I didn’t want you to know that he, too, had fallen for you.
That you already hold a place in his heart.
Because I have no confidence in myself.
I don’t have the trust needed to believe you would choose if you had other options.
I don’t have what it takes to compete honorably for you.
All I can see is my own darkness—my obsession, my excessive behavior.
Everything about makes doubt you would choose if there were others.
So I planned to keep everyone away from you—
So no one could confess.
So you would never know there were other choices.
So you wouldn’t even have the chance to think about making a choice.
Because then, I would be your only choice—undoubtedly.
Because then, you would look only at ,
See only my feelings,
And reflect only my image in your eyes.
Only when I sank deeper into my emotions—
Only when my darkness grew past its limit, pushing toward madness and reckless decisions—
Only then did I realize how far I had gone.
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