Synopsis

MynameisTim,oritwasuntilIdied.Therewasnolightattheendofthetunnel,nowhiteroom...Readmore

My nameis Tim,or it wasuntilI died.Therewasno lightat theendof thetunnel,no whiteroomto chooseanycheatsfrom,norwasthereanymeetingwithGod.I didn’tdieheroicallywhilesavingsomeone,andI certainlydidn’tgethitby a truck.My deathwasratherstupidandanticlimactic,I hadapparentlybumpedmy headwhilesleepingandpassedaway…Thatshouldhavebeentheendof theroadforme,butlikemanyself-proclaimedmaincharacters,I joinedthearmyof multi-dimensionaltravelersandwasreincarnated.Beingan avidlightnovelandmangareader,I wouldhavebeenexcitedabouttheopportunity,if notformy newsiblings,whotriedto killme as soonas I wasborn,or formy mother,whoseemedto havea thingforthrowingme offcliffs.Andlet’snotforgetmy murderousfather,whoforcedme to flattena smallcountryas my Riteof passage.Oh,didI mentionI wasrebornas a Dragon?Collapse

CharacterGrowth,Dragons,FantasyCreatures,GodlyPowers,Gods,Gore,MonsterSociety,Monsters,MysterySolving,MythicalBeasts,Non-humanProtagonist,Non-humanoidProtagonist,OverpoweredProtagonist,ReincarnatedasaMonster,SwordAndMagic

It'snotastoryabouthumanindragonbodyatall.Justapuredragonwho(sometimes)mindlesslyfollowitinstincts.Idon'tknowwhattheadvantageasarebornpersonhehavewhenhissiblingshavethesameintelligenceasheis.

GreatreviewfromTheodepolis,scribblehubRebornasAdragonisareincarnationstorywhereamanisbornintoafamilyofdragonsonanotherworld.PlotandTheme:Thisisanexploration/sliceoflife/cultivationstorybasedaroundadragon'slife.Thereisexplorationoftheinternallandscape,butitsminimal.Thestrengthofthestoryisinitsexplorationoftheworldandthesocialinteractionsbetweendragonsandotherspecies.Goodpoints:Itsrefreshing.Theauthorcreatesanentireworldaroundthestory'sprotagonist.Thestorydoesn'tsugarcoattheDragonSupremacyculture.TheultrarigidsocietyremindsthisreaderofSparta:onlythestrongestandmostfitsurvive.Everyoneelseisarival,asourceoffood,orapest.Dragonsarenothuman.Theydon'thavehumanmorals.Thereaderwillfindbrutalitybutdiscoveryaswell.Theprotagonistmight,eventually,havemomentsofinsanitysomewillconfusewithmercy.BadPoints:Theproseandstyle.Ikidyounot.Theproseissomethingwrittenwithnocaretostyle.Itisbeyondamateurandmorethanalittlelazy.As/whileconjunctionabuse,rigidstructure,tellingvsshowing,gerunds,bloating(excessivewordinessforsimpleconcepts),lackofsignificantdescription,PointofViewbouncing,tenseslips,passivevoicevsactivevoice,basicorthography,punctuation,etc.Infact,thisworkdoesn'tmissasinglebump.ItholdsontoliteraryproblemslikeanalcoholictoJackDaniels.1.As/Whileabuse.As/whilesubordinateconjunctionsareabusedinordertospeedthenarrativealongwithoutcareforhowmanytimestheyarerepeated.Thereareotherwordsoutthere.2.Rigidstructure.Thestylehasageneralrepetitivesentencestructure.'Subordinateconjunction,Independentclause.'Example:"AsIthoughtaboutwhattodo,Istartedyawning."asopposedto"Iyawnedandconsideredmyoptions."Feeltheweightofthesentenceinyourhead.Itisn'tpleasant.Thisparticularstylecontrolsmostofthenarrative.Itrepetitionbecomesaproblemandmightput-offmanyareader.Ifsomethingisimportantenoughtobeincludedinastory(subordinateconjunction),itcouldbeseparatedintoitsownindependentclause(independentclause).3.Gerunds.Iwon'tteachbasiccreativewritinghere.DoasearchinGooglefor"Gerundsinprose."Let'sjustsaythatthegeneralrule(andallrulesaremeanttobebrokenwhenoneknowswhattheyaredoing)istoNOTusethem.Gerunds,combinedwithas/whilerepetitionANDsubordinateconjunctionsareapaintoread.4.PoVproblems.PointofViewsaretricky.Mostfictioniswrittenin3rdPersonLimitedPoVor1stPersonPoV.I'veseen,rarely,awellconducted3rdPersonOmniscientPoVthatslipsthroughwithalmostnoissues.Example:1stperson:Ibreathedfire.Myrightclawrendedthrougheldritchflesh.Example:3rdPersonLimited:Terracbreathedfire.Hisrightclawcleavedthrougheldritchflesh.Example:3rdPersonOmniscient(Multipleviews):Terracbreathedfire(1).Theeldritchhorrorwasterrified(2andTelling).Sparkythedogwantedtopee(3),buthebarkedatboththedragonandtheeldritchhorrorwithbravestupidity.Unknowntoallthreeofthem(Subconjunction),thelossofanyofthemwoulddisruptreality.(Ind.Clause).(God/AuthorPoV)Anauthormusttrytolimit3rdPersonOmniscienttosubtleshifts,otherwiseitfeelsclumsyandharmsastory'spacing.5.Tellingvsshowing.Yesthestoryhasthisprobleminspades.Tellingisdirectand(ifnotgivenenoughthought)lazy.ShowingisINDIRECT.Itisalso,inmostcases,wordierbutbuildsbetter,flowsbetter.ExampleTelling:Adelinewascold.Exampleshowing:Adelineshivered.Exampleshowingwithdetails:Adelineshivereddespitetheheavywintercoat.6.Beganto.Startedto.Seemsto.Appearsto.ImightdespiseAs/whilesubordinateconjunctionabusebut"began/startedto/seemsto"bloatingandambiguityisupthere.Thesephrasesareusedbyauthorstoorganizetheirthoughts.Theyareunnecessarypreamblestootherclausesinasentence.Removethemfromtheproseexceptinspecificcontexts.Example:TerracbegantoconsiderthepossibilitiesofmurderasArnoldrambledon,convincedofhisownimportance.ExampleWITHOUTthebullcrap:Arnoldrambledon,convincedofhisownimportance.Terracponderedabjectmurder.NoticethatIused3rdPersonomniscient,butitfeelslike3rdPersonlimited.TerracobservingArnold.That'ssubtlemanipulationofproseandstyle.NoticethatIremovedtheas/whileconjunction.Noticethatthe"Beganto"preambleisgone.NoticethatIamTELLINGinsteadofShowing,buttheproseisn'tharmedbythechoicebecauseonesentencehaslongphoneticprosodyandtheotherisshortandtothepoint.Moreimportantly,thedetailsprovideanunderstandingofthecharactersandaren'tboring.Oneisasnottyjackarse.TheothermightbeasnarkySoBor,intruth,acoldbloodedmurderer.Idon'thavethepatiencetodetailexamplesofalltheotherproblemsinthiswork.Thisisn'tacreativewritingclass.Let'sleavethisatthepointthatIamEXTREMELYdispleasedwiththeroughprosebecausethestoryhasgreatpotential.Thisworkcanbemuch,muchbetter.2.5/5stars.Fiftypercent.Nothighenoughtobeaverage,notlowenoughforcompleteanonimity.

Amazingreviewareuawriterorsomething?IfyouareI'minterestedinreadingyouwork