Cultivating in Reverse: My Sign-In System Wants Me Dead

Transmigratingintoagloriouscultivationworldsoundsamazing.Flyingonswords,achievingimmortality,eatingheavenlypeaches...Whowouldn'twantthat?Exceptmynewbodyrejectedallofit.Asipofpurespringwaterfeltlikeacidinmystomach.Abiteoffreshspiritualricefeltlikeswallowingglass.Astandardhealingpillmademevomitblood.Iwasn'tbulliedbymysect.Infact,theeldersactuallypitiedme!ButmybodywassobizarrelybrokenthattheonlywayIcouldsurvivewasbychuggingcheaptavernwineandgnawingonmoldy,spoiledbread.IthoughtIwasjustcursedwiththeultimateTrashPhysique.Then,onmy18thbirthday,theSign-InSystemfinallyactivated.Ithoughtmytransmigrationcheathadfinallyarrived...untilIsawtherewards.[Ding!SignedinattheClearCloudPeak.][Reward:10HeavenlyDemonBlood-BurningPills.][Ding!SignedinattheForbiddenYinValley.][Reward:OnevialofNine-NetherFlesh-MeltingCorpseWater!]Iwasfurious.Wasthisstupidsystemactivelytryingtoassassinateme?Whywasithandingmelegendarysuicidepillsandworld-endingpoisons?Butduringalife-or-deathcrisis,IwasforcedtoswallowoneofthosecursedBlood-BurningPills.Ibracedmyselfformymeridianstoexplode.Iwaitedfortheagonizingdeath.Instead,mymusclesturnedtojelly,Iface-plantedintothedirt,and...Ileveledup?ThatwasthedayIrealizedmytransmigrationwasn'tajoke.Ipossessedamutatedconstitution.MybiologyperfectlyinvertstheeffectsofeverythingIconsume!Thatdeadlysuicidepill?Itparalyzedmefortenminutes,butpermanentlypurifiedmyfoundation.Thatflesh-meltingcorpsewater?Tasteslikepremiumspiritwineandhealsmybrokenbones.Thatterrifying,untouchablevillainesswhoseverytearsaremadeofCalamityPoison?Totherestoftheworld,she'sawalkingnaturaldisaster.Tome,she'sanall-you-can-eatcultivationbuffet.Now,whiletherighteousgeniusesfighttothedeathoverasinglehealingherb,I'mattheauctionhousebuyingouttheirclearancebinofexpired,defective,andcursedtrashpillsforpennies.TheHeavenswantmedead?That'sfine.I'lljustdrinkpoisonallthewaytoimmortality.