Freeid Books

Psychokinetic Eyeball Pulling

Author: Freeid Genre: Action

Astrid,amischievousnobleteen,longdreamedofexploringtheancientcitiespreservedbeneath...Readmore Astrid,amischievousnobleteen,longdreamedofexploringtheancientcitiespreservedbeneaththewaves,leftbehindfromatimebeforetheoceanswallowedtheworld.Whenanancientmonsterlongthoughtdeadassaultshumanity'slastbastion,afloatingship-city,sheawakensherSystemearly–only,she'snotawarriorasexpected,butforcedtowalkthepathofa[Psychokinetic].WithSpawninfestedoceans,pirateslookingtoplunder,andmysteriousmonstersthatlurkwithinBubbled-Citesatthebottomoftheocean.Safetyisanythingbutguaranteed.She’lllearntotrip;levitate,throwobjects,eyeballpulling,allthewaytotheapexofpsychicpowers.But,whathappenswhenshediscoversthatherworldwasalotlargerthanshe–andtherestofhumanity,oncethought?*[Psychokinetic]EyeballPullingisalaidbackstoryaboutayounggirlwhohasacravingforadventureandfighting.Shewasn'texpectingtoawakenasamageclass,butthatwon'tstopherfromhavingfun—no—Itonlymakesitbetter!Nolongerwillsheneedtoresorttolaboriousactivities,including,butnotlimitedto;pickingupstuff,carryingstuff,oreventhrowingstuff!Everythingcanbedonewithhermind!ThisisthefirstseriouslitRPGIamwriting,andIamconsideredanewauthor.Sopleasebekind!Whattoexpectfromthisstory:-LitRPGelementswithblueboxes-Amischievous,powerfulfemaleprotagonist-Gore,eyeballpulling,andlimbpulling.-Sliceoflifeelementswithapartyof(hopefully)interestingandfuncharacters-Averagechapterlength1800-2200withareleaseofMon-Wed-FriCollapse AcceleratedGrowth,Adventurers,AgeProgression,Army,FearlessProtagonist,FemaleProtagonist,Girl'sLoveSubplot,LevelSystem,Magic,MagicBeasts,Monsters,Post-apocalyptic,PsychicPowers,StrongtoStronger,Zombies,LitRPG So,I'veread152chaptersofthisandletmetellyouwhyIdidn'tparticularlylikedit.Idon'ttrytodissuadeanyonefromreading,andifyoulikeditdespitewhat'swrittenbelow,I'mhappyforyou.Yes,it'sjustarantFirstandthebiggest,inmyopinion,isauthor'sever-presentindecision,tryingtositonallchairsatonce.Justsomequicknotableexamplestogetthefeel:Mc'sanoble,butshe'sasimpleton,she'sageniusatswordsmanship,butshe'samage,wholeworldisanocean,butauthorcreatesinland-ishfeel,loreandsettingisalmostgrimdark,buteveryone'shavingtimeoftheirlives.Maybenoteverysinglethingsuffersfromthishere,butawholelotcertainlydo,andthethingthatsuffersalotis[dramaticpause]PsychokineticEyeballPulling.Oftentimesitlookslikejustasillygimmick,theeyeballpullingpart,andafterawhile,whatbringsfrustrationisthatMCjustdoesn'tdoitfornoparticularreason,despiteapparentquicknessandeffectiveness.That'swhyIstartedloosinginterestapproachingchapter152.There'sonemovevastlysuperiortoeveryothermove,andauthormakingMCnotusethismovejustsotheycandragdragoutthefightformoredramaisveryfrustrating.Then,there'sallothermovesandabilities.NothingismorefrustratingthanknowingMC'sfullmovesetandthenstrugglebecausetheyjustdon'tusesomeabilitywhichwouldeasilybailthemout.Thatleadustothenexttopicofforgottenchildofplagiarism,whicharethesecondclasses.NotjusttheMC'ssecondclassisbasicallyforgotten,butbasicallyeveryonehasjustasingleclass(fortheirskillsettooone-dimensionaltobelievablysayit'sacombinationofskillsetsoftwoclasses),loosingthispartofinterestingtwodifferentclassesinteraction,whichpresentinAzarinthHealerandwhichsystemismadetoaccommodateandhandle,whichsystemistakenhere,withminoradjustments,namelyclassacquisition,titles,skillthresholds,andvitalitywithendurancearenowconstitution.Whilethisstorystillsomewhatworks,itisaprimeexampleofhowyoushouldmakeasystemforyourstoryandnottheotherwayaround.Itjustdoesn'tfitthere,tryingtomodifyittosuitthisstory'sneeds,authorstrippedallthesystemshouldhavedonetothestory,thatbeinganappropriaterewardforeffortandaccomplishments.Here,systemisfrankenstein'smonsterinsteadofarealthing,makingeffortseemmeaninglessandaccomplishmentsemptyorundeserved.NextIwanttotalkhoweyeballpullinggimmickfeelsforcedandbasicallyunwelcome.Authorexploresabitaboutpsychokinesis,it'supperlimits,andthensuddenlyremembershehaseyeballpullingquotatofill,sothat'sgoingintothewindowfornow,andthenthere'sdissonancewithothersystemstuff,likethere'sbonustostrength,bonustotopsychicdamage,andthenthere's...bonustoeyeballpullingeasiness...Itjustfeelsweird,likeimagineaclassthatinsteadofincreasingallunarmeddamageincreaseddamageofjusttheuppercutdamage...likeit'ssoweirdlyspecificitrubsthewrongway.Next,there'sageneralskillcreep.MCusedtheskillinbattle:skillleveledup,skillwasbarelyusedinafight?Whocares,skillleveledup!Uhm,theskillisn'tevenusableinbattle...What,can'thearyou,skillleveledup!Ineverybattle!!WhileinAzarinthHealeryoucanseethedirectcorrelationbetweenaskillbeingusedanditlevelingup,hereitjustlevelsbythevirtueofexisting.Suchabadcorrelationbetweenaccomplishmentsandrewardsthatidon'tevenknowwhattosayaboutit.Worldbuildingisverylax.WhatImeaniswhatonthemainshipthere'slike5housesinupperdistrict,basicallynothinginmiddledistrict,andinfinitedungeon-likelowerdistrictwithlike3placesofinterest.Theyallhaveveryinlandfeeltothem,likethey'renotontheship,ship'soverallsizeispoorlydescribed.Therestoftheworldisbasicallybuildoutofclicheswithoutanyrealdepthtoit,thenthere'sanotherclicheofmysteriousstuffhappeningworldwideandoutMChereisconvenientlyjustmetallrequirementstojumprightintothefraytocrawlaroundfiguringoutconspiracies.Charactersareprettystatic,there'snotasinglemomentofcharacterdevelopmentIcancallout.Itwould'vebeenfineifcharacterswerewellwritten,buttheMCiswayoffforthat.MC...isveryverystrange.Like,she'ssaidtobebulliedrepressedchild,butnowshe'sthespoiledliked-by-everyonewithbasicallynothingin-betweenhappening,likewise,she'ssaidtobethewinnerofbasicallyeverysingleswordtournamentsheparticipatedin,butthatnevershows,withherbeinghelplesslycluelessinself-defense.Inconclusion,authorhasgoneaftertoomuchcoolstuffwithoutreallythinkingitthrough,butdecentfirstlitRPGattempt3/5 Iwouldliketotakeaminuteandkindofexpandandclarifysomeofthethingssaidhere.WhileItotallyagreewithalotoftheflawssuchasthesidelinedsubclass,admittedlyshoddyworldbuilding,andsupposedcopyingofAzarinthHealer'ssystem(Ihaven'treadthatyetbutI'lltakeyourwordforit).I'dliketoclarifyonsomeoftheotherflawsthough.StartingwiththeEyeballpullingthing,sheactuallyhasaprettygoodreasontodoso,itisthatforoneoftheskillshegets,itdramaticallyenhancesandquantifiesheremotions,leadingtoabuildupandexplosion(ThinkofitasexactlylikeMobPsycho100).Theeyeballpullingthinggetsgreatlymagnifiedbytheemotionofobsession,duetothefactthatSpoilerSheisthesupposed"otherhalf"oftheeyeballwitchwhoissomespace-travellingbeing,andgetsatranscendentclassevolutionfromhermainclasstoeyeballwitchwhichdrasticallyincreasesherabilitytoeyeballpullandshecanusethepowersofthecreaturestheybelongedto.Nextupistheauthor's"indecision".Ihaven'treallynoticedanypointwhereMCwasa"simpleton",morelikealittleshelteredwhichshegetsoververyquickly.Thepartaboutherbeingageniusatswordsmanship,butamage,isexplainedbythefactthatherentirefamilyforgenerationshavebeenextremallyproficientmagicswordsmen,soitskindaexpectedofher,andthefactthatbeingamagewasforcedonherandSpoilerseemstobeinfluenced/fatedbytheeyeballwitch.AndalthoughitsbeenahotminutesinceIlastreadachapter,Ican'trememberanypointwhereIfeltlikeshecouldhaveendedafightbetterwithanothermove.Ican'tsaymuchabouttheunderdevelopedsystembecauseIhaven'treadtheotherbook,soI'lljustskipthatpart.Theskillcreeppartcanbeeasilyansweredbythefactthatalotoftheskillsinteractwitheachotherandshegenerallytriestousethemallwheneverpossible.Thenthereistheworldbuildingpart,whichItotallyagreewithbecausealthoughtherearesomehintsofamuchlargerworldnarrative,thecurrentworldexistsoflikefiveareasand20buildings,therestbeingoceanor"wilderness".Granted,mostoftheworldisanoceananywayandthereisoneverylargehabitableboatandoneloosedefinitionofanisland.IalsoagreethatAstridjustseemstobeablebeinthemiddleofalltheimportanteventsbutSpoilerthingsdoseemtobebeingmanipulatedfrombehindthesceneswiththingsliketheblobcreaturesandtheeyeballwitchwhoisAstrid's"otherhalf"sofate/destinymaybedrivingtheplot.Thecharacterdevelopmentcanbeexplainedbythefactthatmostcharactersdon'treallyneedit,andsomeofithavinghappenedbutonasmallerscalelikewhenAstridmeetstheleviathaninthelowerresidence,whenJohnathan'sfrienddies,orwhenCallumSpoilerLeavestheguildwithAstrid.Asidefromthat,alotoftheothercharacterslikeDanielareolderandhavealreadyhadtheirowncharacterdevelopmentbeforetheMCwasaround,ortheyjusthaven'thadtheirtimeyet.Inmyconclusion,althoughtheauthorseemsprettynewandiswastingsomeofthepotentialofthestory,theyaredoingareallygoodjobatentertainingmeandthestoryitselfisinterestingtoreadandkeepsbringingmebackformore.8.75/10 everythingbecomesmidafterreadingAzarinthHealerimo Noteverything,butfightingscenessuredo. canyousuggestsome?can'tfindanythingnewthatexcitesme Isthisgood?ThesynopsisintriguedmebutI'malreadyhavingmyhandsfullwithafewnovels.I'llpickitupwhilestackingupchapsforothernovelsI'mreading Thisisreallygood!It’ssimilartoAzarinthHealerbutinsteadofhandtohandcombatit’sapsychicmage AlthoughI'monlyatchapter20,I'mreallyenjoyingthis.Thecharactersfeelliketheyhavedepth,thestoryandstakesfeelgood,andthequirkysystemishilarious.Ifyou'renotafanofFMC'sforwhateverreason,that'sfine,don'treadit,butifyou'reokaywiththatIhighlyrecommendthis.Update:I'mat150nowandIcanhonestlysayI'menjoyingmorethanIwasbefore.TheTwistsaremagnificentandthestoryjustkeepsgettingbetter. Alright,I'vereadtothelatestavailablechapterandnowhavemoretosay.IreallylikeallthetwistsandturnsthataregoingonandthewayAstrid'sskillsarebeingdeveloped.I'malsoareallybigfanofthewayfightingisportrayed,alongwiththe"magicdevelopmentandexperimentation"whichIabsolutlutelyloveinnovels(seriously,ifyoucouldrecommendsomereallygoodrealisticmagicandmagicaldevelopmentnovel,itwouldbegreatlyappreciated).OverallIthinkthisnovelispastthepointwherethingscouldsuddenlybecomereallybadlywrittenorhaveabaddirection,sojustassumeitstaysreallygoodotherwise,ifnotI'llpostsomething(I'vebeenhurtbefore,lookingatyouNanomancer,stillholdingouthopetheauthormightturnthingsaroundandfixthestoryinthatone.Idon'tneedanoverlyconfidentfemaleMCwho"DoN'tNeEdNoMaN"butfortheloveofall,whydidShirobecomelikeajadebeautyfromaWuxiawhocan'tdoanythingwithouttheMC,'cmonman).Sorryforrantingalittle.Anyway,readthis,It'sgood.

Latest Chapter New story out now on Royal Road! 05-21 08:58