We dropped the heavy garbage in the container, and I took so breath because of the rare exercise... turning around to see him with a pole... which I couldn’t ask if it was also to be thrown away since it hit my head knocking out to welco those horrible months.
... that’s why... this agreent was too cruel if it ca from the gods...
Because now I could see... what I was in his hands and what that place I was in... looked like.
"WHY ARE YOU FIGHTING?! WHY CAN’T YOU SHUT UP AND DO WHAT I WANT YOU TO??!!"
"COUGH! HW AGH! FH..!"
’....’
"YOU MADE DO THIS ELIZABETH!!"
It was a dirty wooden room... that much I did know... but now I learned there were caras that fild ... and I could see his face this ti... so clearly while hitting and making vomit and bleed from the hits and kicks...
"YOU MADE DO THIS~!!"
’..... Do I truly... have to watch this...?’ — As if nothing had been left behind, I remained there, seeing my young self being abused, humiliated... practically violated by this guy who I didn’t know would only leave my side at the ti to take the caras to watch the videos... coming back to spend more ti mistreating . Training to answer properly, always acting happy even while I thought he was mad...
"Elizabeth~ my love~ I’m here~"
’...’
"H-hi Seth..."
"Smile wider."
"... Hi~ Seth...."
"That’s it~ So lovely, my love~ My Elizabeth~"
’...’
Nothing could I even think at this point... the sight of myself being played with while fixed to the floor, helplessly blinded, covered in my period’s blood and urine... the marks on my feet and the bruises I couldn’t see but only feel grow numb on my limbs and body... the hair being cut, every ti... more and more... how he would clean and change ... I saw what I once was thankful to ignore... because that face...
"Hehe... Elizabeth..."
I didn’t want to know that depraved face he wore every ti...
’Why do I have to see this!!? Why can’t I disappear without learning this??!’ — I thought the more I saw of it. But the mories wouldn’t cease, for they were too many... and like I had in reality I got used to it the more I saw it... wanting to numb myself to the distress these scenes provoked...
Only until I got to the mory where I was to make my escape.
From what I could rember, the place was empty of caras and only I was there... and it makes sense since he used to take them with him from ti to ti, and apparently, my luck hadn’t abandoned completely even then since... after patiently moving and burning my thumbs so the plastic tie would loosen or break... at the ti, I had made it so, at the very least, if I continued to rub it against a nail I found once he was dragging and beating around, a nail slightly but sufficiently sticking out that it cut that ti but I managed to find again while moving as best I could on the floor... it would eventually break before he decided to change the plastic again... since he used to say he should keep with "good things"...
*Snap*
"!"
’Hah... that’s a real smile right there...’ — I thought fondly with sorry sensation of myself that was to make her escape in such terrible conditions... and would lose that smile as fast as it ca... once taking off the blindfold to now search for a way to take off the chains we had thought would be impossible to escape since even in the conditions we were, we did try to touch the best we could the wooden column it was tied to with a lock, thinking it went up to the ceiling since we had supported our back on it trying to open it uselessly many tis... to find out it was only a pole long enough to make a weak look pathetic while trying.
"... hf...n h... d*mn it... depraved f*cker..." — My young self mumbled with good reasons, understanding why he was so enthusiastic in making my feet hurt so much that I wouldn’t be able to stand... because if I did I would learn those chains were easy to free from the pole, by simbly lifting them high enough.
’... My eyes already ached back then to welco the little light there is... and I had to start crying after seeing that...’ — I thought while I sighed and watched my miserable self carefully gulp down the rage and humiliation as well as the terrible pain on my feet to free herself from the pole that had been making my ankle an obstacle. — ’... To think I was prepared to cut it if necessary... he was such an evil guy...’
My young self hugged the chains so they wouldn’t make as much noise... and then, from that tree I hated so much, I fell to crawl and run in pain... Now knowing, that he knew it would happen.
The that was watching had stayed in that place... and he ca in right after my jump couldn’t make it quiet. Laughing as he closed the window, holding the hair he often cut off to go chase after in that lousy forest...
Thankfully, in my escape, I suppose luck really didn’t want to leave ... since unknowingly I ran in the direction that help would quickly find , ending in him being searched and eventually imprisoned.
The ti at the hospital, where mom and my brothers would go visit briefly since at so point I stopped caring to answer their annoying ways to show concern passed without even being shown... maybe because even I didn’t have them that clear with all the legal matters also being investigated.
The trial was also as if trifling in my recall, the tapes I now know he had are a wonder to since they never were ntioned in the trial... but either way, the clearest mory of that day was as I heard the sentence being told again. This ti standing right beside my young and recovering self who was more focused on controlling the trembles he didn’t like than on the veredict being announced.
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