"Fifteen years... Only fifteen years they gave him..."
"It’s unbelievable... but at least we don’t have to do any more of these annoying formalities. Elizabeth can now focus on recovering." — Trevor said, comforting my mom while Kevin followed them beside ... who was staring blankly at the little motion of my feet... exhausted... out of reality, while I still could listen to them talk.
"She has to recover, who will help at ho if not."
"..."
’... Sigh... they never knew that it was because of this conversation that I left ho soon after...’ — I thought reminiscing of my past decisions while I saw myself staring at them... to then be asked by Kevin how I was doing.
"Elizabeth, are you alright? We’re going ho now, you should get in the car."
"... What’s wrong?" — Trevor asked waiting for and Kevin to get in... and the back then t his eyes... which made my inner distress snap.
"... I’m not alright."
"... Why what happened?"
"..."
"... sigh... Kevin, get her in the car already I’m sick of being here." — Mom said, while Trevor got in the car waiting for us... and that’s when controlling my anger... beca impossible
"... I’m also sick, but of everything."
"... Elizabeth..."
"You know what happened? A kidnapping happened. To . But I have a family like this. That’s what happened."
"Elizabeth Lowe! That’s not a way to talk when we’re going through this because of you!"
"Hah... That’s fine. After all, you had to do all by yourself while I was being tortured and Trevor had to put on his pants once in his life to not ss around like he’s used to because the circumstances weren’t the best for it while Kevin probably only watched from the side, hoping I would appear soon no matter dead or alive so YOU, mom, could stop whining about everything I wasn’t there to do in your stead."
"..."
"Elizabeth, you’ve said too much."
"Too much of the truth? Did I hit the nail? I bet you two were more concerned at how troubleso it was to search for instead of how I was doing or where I was."
"Elizabeth stop talking, that’s not the truth!" — Mom said, offended... but at the ti I had no wish to care.
"Oh? It’s not? It’s not~... Then WHY was it only after A WEEK?! It was after a D*MN WEEK you f*cking idiots decided to report my disappearance!! I spent months there!! Months!!"
"Elizabeth we also had difficult months!! Don’t think it’s only you who had it difficult!!" — Trevor yelled as my voice also raised... getting out of the car in an attempt to appear respectable.
"HUH??! SAY THAT AGAIN, YOU F*CKING BAST*RD!!! WERE YOU HUNGRY!? WERE YOU DIRTY, HUH?!! WERE YOU MADE TO GO ALONG WITH A PSYCHOPATH?!!"
"Elizabeth!"
"I DON’T THINK SO!!"
"..."
’...’ — Watching the scene felt more frustrating than in my mories... pushing them, my brothers, while my mom only cried while looking away and my done expression that showed how much I hated it all...
"... you can’t compare... y-you just can’t... it’s not the sa, Trevor..."
"... If you want, you still can recover and live a normal life. Don’t make a fuss about it now... it will take ti but... we know you can do it."
"Yeah... I’ll recover, sure... But in fifteen years that b*stard will be free, and guess what."
"..."
"Guess what!"
"... What."
"It’ll be all for nothing."
"... Eli..."
"For , that is. Because you three will walk around without a care in the world since YOU GUYS! YOU DIDN’T LIVE THE SA F*CKING MONTHS I DID!!"
"?! Where are you going!? Co back here!"
"I’ll walk ho!! While I still can do it!!"
It was pathetic to see in a way... my feet still hurt at the ti and my walk was unstable and painful for a long ti... but the things I said to them without more patience to endure the selfishness even though it beca a painful mory... I didn’t regret it. Even now... I don’t believe I said anything wrong although any who ignored the depths of that conversation would think it was a tantrum from an eighteen-year-old girl... But ti would calm all of us down... sohow. Maybe not perfectly... but we would calm down.
And that’s what followed in the little jumps Izeneya had prepared for to recall... the calm of an Elizabeth that tried to live normally while everything looked grey...
The years at University, living alone and getting a job... they all were monotonous and insignificant... nothing I truly felt morable was shown there besides the people I rejected, the people I t and stopped eting... it was common and seemingly normal... a ti where I used to think the past was the past and I should continue with my life one way or another...
But surely it wouldn’t last forever...
"..... If I... die..."
’.....’
"Maybe then... I’ll feel better... than on the floor..."
*Thump.*
"Sigh... no, no... f*ck... I can’t..... I better go for a walk or I’ll really do it."
To the mumblings my past self made while lowering the knife in the kitchen, I smiled... sorry to know that wasn’t the first ti I had held it with such in mind... but I could tell by how I was dressed and the obscurity of the sky outside my small apartnt... that that would be the last ti...
The stroll I took, empty as always in thought and spirit; tired of dealing with the heaviness I could no longer endure dragging down no matter how many therapies I followed or dication I took... would lead to that park I always seated at... to finally et the one that taught how to cope with the wounds and scars...
"I’ll share my umbrella and wait with you, darling. You shouldn’t be alone like this."
’Haaa... Hey Granny... long ti no see...’
Finally, good mories would start... those in which I would learn to value life as I should... for those I should.
Reviews
All reviews (0)