The Knight from the Fairytales

Thisworldisweird.Toomanykings.Countlessprinces.Andwaytoomanyprincesses.Fairytalessoundbeautiful—butinreality?Mostoftheseprincesandprincessesseemtobeoutoftheirminds.Theyfallinloveafteronekiss.Lockeyesonce,andit’sdestiny.Wait—aren’tsomeofthemstillminors?!Especiallytheprincesses!Alotofthesestoriesseemtobe“marriedfirst,fallinlovelater.”Butwhatever—it’sfairytales.Loveatfirstsightistotallynormalhere.…ButwhatdoyoumeanIhavetoroleplayachildknightinafairytale?Aren’tallfairytalesthesame?Thereshouldn’tbeanythingthatdifferent,right?Takethisonestory:Asoldiergetsatinderbox,somegold,anddemandsthewitchtellhimhowtouseit.Butwhywouldyouevenwantthatthing?Inthe“official”version,thewitchrefusestoexplain,sothesoldierkillsher.Anotherversion?Thewitchtriestokillhimfirst,andthesoldierseesitcomingandhacksherdown.SonowI,theso-calledknight,havetohelpsomeonehere?Helpwho?Helpmya—they’rebothnuts!What’sworse?They’reboth…kindofright.Thewitchusesthesoldiertogetthetinderbox.Thesoldier,unsureofherintentions,killsherinself-defense—Becauseonceshegetsit,shemightunleashthethreegiantdogsinsideonhim.Butthenagain,thesoldiertookthegold,keptthetinderbox,andkilledthewitch.Totalloot-and-mu*der.Andnowyouexpectmetointervene?How?!I’msupposedtobeachildknight,remember?!Andthisisjustonestory—therearetonsmorelikeit.Honestly?Ithinkeveryonehere’sgotascrewloose.Andyouwantmetobetheirmediator?Yeah,no.They’reallcrazy.