*Tallon*
“How could I have been such an idiot?” I muttered under my breath.
I’d finally forced myself to leave Natalia’s apartnt. It took every nerve inside of to leave her behind, knowing that she was a ss of tears.
She’d told her story, but was I willing to believe it? After everything that I found out, it beca too difficult to decipher between truth and deceit.
“How could I not have seen this coming?” I huffed. “Dmitri’s granddaughter–his fucking granddaughter. Another goddamn Zaytsev, just what I need.”
Alessandro, my own brother, was always looking out for . Even when we’d hit our rough patches, at the end of the day, I knew I could always count on him to co through for .
But Natalia–how could I not have known that woman was a spy?
The woman held my heart in her hands. She practically owned in every way. My stomach twisted in total disdain. Who the fuck was I kidding? She still owned .
I was a man blinded by lust and the desire to possess sothing that was too good to be true. And in the end, innocent people lost their lives because of it.
Just knowing that I was purposely leaving her behind in such an agonizing state tore to shreds. To think I went as far as to threaten her as well....
I could never imagine taking my gun out and aiming it at her. Hell, I couldn’t even picture using my own bare hands to finish the job.
Although hearing that cursed na, Zaytsevs, made my fists clench at my sides, my heart still saw her as just Natalia, even though my mind was beginning to see her differently.
It wasn’t her fault that she was born into such a screwed-up family that only lived for revenge and murder. In all that ti we’d spent together, there was never a mont where I doubted her sincerity. Her eyes were always filled with so much light and life. Her smile made her feel that we could have a life together—that I had finally found my chosen person, my perfect other half who would stand by through all the difficult tis.
I wanted to give her all that I was. Granted, I was planning on sohow working her into my world. But apparently, none of that mattered now.
Having heard the truth about Natalia’s history from him made feel betrayed and simply angry because I hadn’t heard it from her lips first.
“There was no way that she would have been willing to tell anything when she knew who I was the entire ti,” I thought.
Yet, Natalia had every opportunity to tell the truth... and she didn’t.
“But would I have listened?” I asked myself.
Probably not, and then where would we have gotten? The mont the word ‘Zaytsev’ would have crossed her lips, I would surely have pulled my gun. So, no. I suppose I couldn’t readily bla her for wanting to play things safely.
Jesus Christ. Part of hated the fact that I was still finding ways to defend her, even after she lied to . But seeing her falling apart in front of ... it was its own form of torture.
I still loved her.
My heart weighed heavily in my chest with every step I took. It was insane to think that I was fighting my own instincts to run back to her and wipe away all the tears she’d cried.
I hated myself for how much I wanted to. I wanted to take her delicate face in his hands and promise to make all the bad things that surrounded us disappear. I’d take her into my arms and protect her from the dangers that lay within her family and find a way to protect her from the wrath of my own.
But at that very mont, the only thing I wanted to do was find the bottom of a bourbon bottle and pass out for a good week. But now was not the ti to lose what little control I had left.
My anger stayed with long after I reached the car that waited for outside.
I slid into the backseat and barked at the driver to take ho. I wanted to forget that today ever happened. Fuck. I wanted to forget the past two months ever happened.
I needed to call Vinny and let him in on this new developnt. Not that I was looking forward to hearing another ‘I told you so,’ but we all needed to be on the sa page.
Quickly pulling up his number, I hit the call button and waited. I took in several long breaths as I attempted to ease my nerves, which proved to be useless since my chest continued to ache with every lungful of air.
Vinny thankfully picked up after the second ring. God save what patience I still had left. Had I been the one behind the steering wheel, there would have been several accidents along the road, purely out of rage.
“Tallon,” he greeted evenly.
His tone gave away a sense that he already knew what I was about to say. I wasn’t sure if that made feel better or worse.
“I just ca from Natalia’s apartnt,” I told him briskly. It physically pained to utter these next set of words. “You and Alessandro were right... Natalia. She–”
Goddamnit. Why the hell was it so hard to say what I needed to say?
I tried to stay focused, but every other thought that passed through my mind led to be drawn right back to Natalia’s crushed expression. Her limp body leaning against the wall while an ongoing stream of tears flooded her face was surely set to haunt .
“I won’t be able to sleep with that image engraved into my mory,” I thought gravely.
Suddenly I was pulled from my endless train of thought by the sound of Vinny’s voice coming through the speaker.
“I know, boss.” His tone was direct but didn’t lack empathy. “Alessandro told a little while ago.”
I swallowed the lump in my throat and fought the urge to let out a growl. I wasn’t surprised that my brother jumped at the opportunity to tell everyone how stupid I’d been. He probably went around telling the whole family how I’ve been thinking with my dick instead of my head these past several weeks over so woman who turned out to be a bloody Zaytsev descendant.
I pinched the bridge of my nose and tried to gather so sense. No. Alessandro wouldn’t do that.
As much as I was sure the man wanted to scream the words ‘I told you so’ at the top of his lungs, he was my brother. I knew that he’d never wish to see in pain, physically or emotionally.
Christ, co to think of it, I was fairly certain that the guy was even trying to calm down earlier. Before I had made the reckless decision to storm into Natalia’s apartnt building and bang down her door, he was the one trying to reach my sanity.
“Asshole would have reached through the phone if it ant stopping ,” I mumbled to myself begrudgingly.
There was a long pause on the line before I heard him speak again.
“Tallon....”
“What?” I sighed.
“Did you kill her?”
My eyes widened while my heart seized in my chest. I nearly choked on my words as they beca caught in my throat.
“Of course, I didn’t fucking kill her,” I snarled. “But I’m going to lie, the thought had crossed my mind at least once while she was explaining everything to .”
Was that what they expected to do?
“So, she basically spilled her guts about the Zaytsevs?” he asked with a hint of shock. “Dmitri’s granddaughter. Who the fuck knew?”
I let out a long breath. “She told about the role her relatives were making her play, and about her personal stance on the matter as a whole.”
“Oh? And what does the little Russian princess make of all this rivalry and bloodshed?”
My mouth pulled back into a nacing sneer. Had Vinny been able to see my face, he wouldn’t have been so quick to crack a joke.
“She said she wanted nothing to do with any of it, said she just wanted to help out her mother because the two of them hadn’t been living easy ever since the Russians were driven out of Venice,” I said coldly.
“So, her job was to basically keep tabs on you this whole ti.”
I rolled my eyes up to the roof of the car.
“It doesn’t matter now anyway, alright?” I said roughly. “The damage is done. I refuse to lose any more n because of my ignorance. It’s over.”
Those last two words ca out easier than I imagined. Although, I did not care for the bitter aftertaste they left in my mouth.
I could easily recall the ti when I refused to let Natalia go, prior to us ever getting together. She kept at such a discernable distance that it baffled how I hadn’t noticed it before. Maybe that wasn’t her just trying to play hard to get. Maybe that was her fighting with her conscience.
What broke her down? What made Natalia finally give a chance?
Was it really just the looming threat of her uncle that made her act, or was it actually sothing more?
If I closed my eyes and focused hard enough, I could still hear her voice in my head.
“Well, it’s because I’ve co to the realization that I’ve fallen in love with you,” Natalia had said.
Her voice was laced with so much desperation that it was a true wonder whether what she said held even an ounce of truth.
I would rather have taken a bullet to the chest than have stood there, listening to her clear deception.
“You don’t know how long I’ve wanted to tell you those sa exact words,” I thought silently. “But your love cos with a deadly price, it seems.”
“Don’t worry, Tallon,” Vinny said assuringly.
I’d almost forgotten I was still on the phone with him.
“We’re going to make those bastards wish that they never stepped foot back in Italy.”
I ran a rough hand through my ssy hair and threw my head back. When did I all of a sudden beco disinterested in the thought of fighting violence with violence? Wasn’t that the way of things since God knows when? How many generations before had handled their enemy with the sa brutal ans?
It was rely a vicious cycle that never wanted to end.
“Is there no other way to deal with this?” I asked out loud.
“What do you an?” Vinny questioned.
I could tell from the sound of his voice that his brows were pulled together and his mouth was forming a deep frown.
All each side of this ongoing war knew was the monotony of power and bloodshed. But where the hell had that gotten anyone for the past forty years?
If they weren’t dead, then they were suffering from the ongoing nightmares that ca with the never-ending war, the worry of constantly looking over their shoulder for fear that soone would co after them.
It was the only way either side knew how to exist.
Well, I’d grown tired of being a pawn in this ga.
“Vinny, find a way to contact the head of the Russians. I don’t care how you do it, just make it as discreet as possible. The bastard’s na is Ivan,” I told him.
I ended the call without saying another word. I knew I would need to set my heartache aside if it ant finally putting an end to this useless rivalry.
It was ti to turn my rage into strategy.
It was ti to end this once and for all.
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