*Natalia*
I felt my heart sink in my chest the second I heard Tallon speak.
I had originally opened my apartnt door with the expectation of him rushing in to wrap his arms around . After all, he was the one who knew how to comfort when I needed it most. He was the one who made feel safe.
But it was clear as day that ‘that’ version of Tallon was long gone.
Instead, I was left frozen to stare at a completely different side of him. This was the side of him that I was taught to hate–to fear. The Italian mafia Don, whose family had dissolved my own, was the man who was standing in front of now. I should have always held more hatred and anger toward him like I was expected to. But, deep down, I didn’t.
I couldn’t.
Sohow in the ongoing turbulence that was our relationship, I’d fallen for him. Every glance he’d stolen when he thought I wasn’t looking, to every glorious touch he’d placed on my body–I loved him.
His very voice had seeped under my skin and made co to life. It was as though he already knew about the worries and fears that I carried and was able to brush them away with a simple caress of his hand.
Now he was looking at as if I was no better than the dirt on his shoe. It made my insides curl and twist in sha. If looks could kill, Tallon would have had nailed to the wall.
His eyes were filled with a mixture of fire and pain.
I don’t know how he’d found out about . But it was going to take a serious miracle for to get him to hear out.
“Tallon,” I said softly.
He held up his hand in warning. I held my breath and waited for him to speak.
“Think very carefully before you start talking,” he snarled. “I am not in the mood to stand here and listen to any more of your lies.”
An awful shiver raced up my spine. I quietly lowered my head in sha.
He was right. For weeks it had been nothing but secrecy and deception. What was stopping him from throttling or walking away, at the very least?
He had no reason to hear out. But, God, I was praying that he would.
He folded his arms across his chest and grimaced. I took it as a clear sign that he was sowhat willing to hear out as he pushed past to stand in the middle of my apartnt.
My eyes beca glossy with tears as my throat grew dry. I was begging myself to keep it together before my nerves would get the better of .
“Please,” I rasped. “T-Tallon... I can explain.”
He scoffed. “I’m sure you can. The question is, do I give you the opportunity to try?”
“I never wanted to hurt you—”
Tallon barked out a venomous laugh. “Oh, It’s far too late for that, ‘sweetheart.’ You gutted out my fucking heart with a dull knife and proceeded to stomp on it just like you were told to do.”
I frantically shook my head and felt the tears streaming down my face. “No. I an it. I never wanted to hurt you or even beco involved with you, okay?”
He stood as still as stone where more of his anger was replaced with sadness. It felt like seeing a child have their favorite toy taken away. My stomach flipped several tis.
“Okay, yes. I admit it. I purposely planted myself in your line of sight so that you would notice . I was to be your distraction while the Zaytsevs plotted their attacks. Please believe when I tell you that I am not close with anyone on that side of my family,” I explained.
Tallon narrowed his on with heavy skepticism.
“My cousins, the n I have no relationship with, are using . They’ve always used in order to get to you.” I shook my head and shrugged. “Truthfully, I’m just as much of a disappointnt to them because I never embraced my roots. They think that my mother and I turned our backs on the family when we moved to Arica.”
I kept my movents slow and cautious, knowing that he was eyeing like a hawk. My knees felt weak from holding my body up. I was desperate for any support I could get. I carefully leaned against the wall and lowered my gaze to the floor.
“Being that it was just my mother and , life wasn’t easy. Money was always tight, and I wanted to find a way to make things easier for us,” I told him weakly. “I knew faintly of the ongoing war between the Valentino family and the Zaytsevs. But my mom never wanted us to get involved. I didn’t know Dmitri or a majority of my other so-called relatives. I t the man once as a child and knew from the sheer look in his eyes that he was a malicious man.”
“I’m what they call a ‘polukrovka,” a half-blood. Because in their eyes, I am not a full-blooded Russian who is ready and willing to sacrifice my life for the sake of a family I’m not close to. To them, I am weak. I’m not soone who wanted any part in their revenge sche to get back at the Valentinos.”
Part of didn’t know why I was bothering to defend myself. I knew that, deep down, I was just as guilty as the n who pulled the triggers during the raids. Although I may not have been present while it was all happening, I was still the rat that gave them the green flag to go ahead.
“And you want to know sothing? They’re right. I am weak,” I sniffled. “I never wanted to be involved in the horrible plan to take down your family.”
Tallon pulled back his lips and sneered. His heated gaze was enough to burn where I stood. He eyed from head to toe as if he were looking for potential cracks in my exterior. Little did he believe that I was wearing my true face at the mont.
His words felt like daggers when he spoke. “You’re the reason that over a dozen of my n are dead. Innocent families who did nothing wrong were attacked and slaughtered, all because you told them where I was.”
I bit my lip and bared through the grueso feelings of guilt and sha.
“I know,” I cried. “And I can’t tell you how awful I feel, knowing that people are dead because of .”
“And why the fuck should I believe a word of what you’re telling ?” he fired back.
My heart sank into my stomach. Of course, he wouldn’t accept my explanation. He had no reason to. Our whole relationship was built on lies and secrets. And I hadn’t been forthcoming with information about my own family to him.
“Because I have no intention of helping my uncle and the rest of the Zaytsevs anymore. Because I would rather run the risk of turning my back on them to try and make things right between us. I love you, Tallon.”
My vision blurred over with fresh tears that I couldn’t stop from trailing down my cheeks. Even though I had a difficult ti seeing him, I knew that he was still staring at .
“When I called you earlier, I knew I sounded panicked and distressed. Well, it’s because I’ve co to the realization that I’ve fallen in love with you.” I felt myself crumbling under my own words. “I know I shouldn’t have, and that I have no right to have these feelings but I do. And I can’t keep hiding the truth from you anymore.”
Again, I wanted nothing more than for him to reach his arms out for . But he didn’t. Instead, I was left feeling cold and alone even though he was standing only a few feet away from .
When Tallon finally opened his mouth to speak, his voice was consud with a gravely, malicious tone. My sweet, loving Italian was nowhere to be seen.
“I can’t stand and listen to this bullshit anymore,” he growled.
I was certain I could hear my heart cracking in my ears.
“It’s not bullshit!” I shouted back eagerly. “Everything I said to you is true.”
Tallon took two large steps closer to . “True or not, that doesn’t erase the fact that multiple people are dead because you chose to work with the goddamned Zaytsevs! Their blood is on your hands,” he told darkly.
Within seconds, I found myself shrinking smaller and smaller as he towered over with his large fra. His eyes burned into like a scolding brand of vexation and hatred.
He slamd his fist against the wall beside my face and made my whole body shake in fear. My breath caught nervously in my throat.
“You’re lucky I don’t take my gun and aim it between your eyes right now,” he said bitterly. “I regret the day I ever ran into you.”
With one final sneer, Tallon turned his head and stord out of the apartnt. For a good handful of seconds, I remained in that exact position while I heard the sound of his heavy footsteps grow further away.
I buried my tear-soaked face in my hands and let out a disgruntled groan. “Goddamn it!”
Just when I thought the tears had stopped, a whole new stream began to pour out. I couldn’t stop it. It was as if I were a broken faucet.
Part of still had a hard ti understanding how Tallon could have known about my past. And an even bigger part of hated the fact that I wasn’t the one to tell him about it first. There was a deep-seated ache in my chest, knowing that our relationship was utterly demolished.
I couldn’t envision a way that it could be fixed. And, hell, who could bla Tallon for not wanting anything to do with ?
Be it as it may, he now knew the whole truth about my situation, which basically ant that my situation was not completely compromised on both ends.
I was now sitting in the most dangerous ga of tug-of-war between two long-standing rivals. Both the Valentinos and the Zaytsevs were going to want to get their hands on , if not for revenge, then definitely to make so sort of example out of .
“Shit,” I hissed under my breath.
I hastily pushed myself off the wall and rushed into the bedroom, where I grabbed my duffle bag. I began tossing in as much clothing and personal belongings as I could fit, along with whatever money I was able to set aside in case of such an ergency.
Wiping the tears from my eyes, I forced myself into my most normal-looking expression before making my way out of my apartnt and down the back stairwell.
It was ti for to disappear.
I only hoped that one day Tallon would find it in his heart to forgive the wrongful acts I had committed. That empty look in his eyes would forever haunt , knowing that I was the reason for destroying the glimr that once was there.
“Please forgive ,” I whispered under my breath.
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