It was Saturday and I wasn't in the mood to cook anything. I had so leftovers from last night but I ended up eating them in the middle of the night. I tried my best to keep my dietary habits in check ever since I moved out.
Moving out won't be an appropriate term since I was still living here because my dad used to send my monthly allowance. I was thinking of getting a part-ti job next year because I didn't want to depend completely on him.
Maybe it was my ego.
But having a part ti job would make things a lot easier for .
Not that I was short on money, but having extra money doesn't hurt.
I was reminiscing about the ti when I used to go back ho to an empty house. Both my parents were working so they never really had ti for or my sister. I grew up with my sister taking care of most of the ti.
My mother wasn't the most amiable woman at ho. Though I had heard from her that people sing praises about her at her workplace. Maybe because of her duality. She was a completely different woman when she used to be at ho.
She was quite a manipulative woman.
But since I was exposed to this behaviour at quite a young age, I slowly beca aware of these habits as I grew up. She used to stoop down to the lowest of lows, if it ant that she could control and my sister.
She was a control freak.
She used to get hysterical if things didn't go her way. When I was young, I used to think that woman was my mother so she held absolute authority over .
But things changed as I grew up.
I was getting fed up with her controlling nature. According to her, she was trying to do the best for , but I never once felt a glimpse of affection from her or her actions.
It was a lie, she used to feed herself.
A lie that validated her guilt.
Everyti, I used to go up to her, she would just push away with her bitter words and cold stare. I wouldn't bla her, maybe because I was indeed a incompetent person.
My dad, mom and even my sister were quite hard working people in general. Compared to them, I was nothing but a failure.
Failure.
I understood this word and how well it can destroy soone.
Failure was a virtue of growth, which was indeed true. But considering failing a possibility in the first place was nothing but a loser's point of view.
And I didn't want to be a loser.
Winning was everything for . No matter how I achieved it, only the results were what mattered.
I tried everything I could to make them smile at but never once got even a single word of appreciation. It was always a nod or a cold reply with no emotions in their word.
I still rember my mother's eyes. Those eyes never once illustrated motherly affection. Rather, they were cynical and cold. Looking back at it, I hate her gaze. It was like she was looking at a tool.
A defective tool.
My sister on the hand never received as harsh treatnt as and I'm glad about it. My parents used to appreciate her for a lot of things and why wouldn't they?
After all, she was an excellent person compared to .
Though, as ti was passing by, things were getting unbearable for . Maybe because I couldn't live with the burden of being a failure that I moved out from under that roof.
Though I just went off recalling old days while I had sothing else on my mind at the mont.
Ever since that day, I haven't talked with Shiraishi. Mostly because she hasn't even texted . She was trying to avoid at school too.
She was ready to face the truth.
Seems like not telling a truth was considered rude, but feeding soone the lie of kindness was considered to be amiable.
I was a bit worried about whether or not my decision was legible. But thinking about it just led to an endless spiral of possibilities, with no solid conclusion.
Human emotions have always been sothing out of our common understanding.
Even though we were couples, this was the first ti she was mad at . But I couldn't do anything about that because she was clearly the one in the wrong at that mont.
I was just waiting to see how the events unfold.
I checked my mobile, and my last text to Shiraishi was still left on seen. Even though her status was online, she wouldn't text . She was firm on her idea of this entire ordeal.
What a stubborn girl.
I was feeling like eating sothing from outside like so fast food. Though it wouldn't suffice for a al, it would definitely be enough to munch on as snacks for evening.
I was in the mood for so fried chicken, because why not?
I was slipping in my shoe when I heard the footsteps of Lilith creeping up on . Turning back, I noticed her curious eyes looking at . Holding the doorknob, I asked, "Oi, you want to eat sothing?"
I understood why she was making such a confused face. I was a person who didn't usually go out on weekends or any other to be specific. So it was genuinely sothing to be curious about.
"Where are you going?" She asked while narrowing her eyes at . Pulling the door open, I stepped outside and said, "Just going for a stroll."
Her eyes moved diagonally upwards as she appeared to be giving so thoughts to my question. At last, a frown ford on her face as she replied with an uncertain tone, "Umm… anything you like? Just bring sothing delicious!"
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