Saving The Monster Race Starts With Breeding The Elf Village

Everyonehasheardtheclichétale.Apeacefulraceonthebrinkofannihilation.Adesperateprayer.Aherosummonedfromanotherworldtosavethemfromextinctionafteralong,brutalwar.Thatwasexactlywhatthedemi-humancontinentexpected.Elves,vampires,beastkin,lamia,centaurs,fairies—everyracebornfrommana—werefalling,corneredbytheadvancinghumanempire.Theirmagicwasgone.Humanrevolutionwasunstoppable.Extinctionloomed.So,aslegendsdictated,theyperformedtheancientsummoning,thinkingherowouldappear.Hewouldleadthemtovictoryaftermonthsofhardship,countlessbattles,anddramaticsacrifices.Along,epicstruggle.Orsotheythought.Instead,theherotheysummoned—Luca—lookedaround,crackedhisknuckles,andendedtheentirewarintwodays.TwoDays.Nograndcampaign.Nofinalstand.Noglorious,drawn-outsaga.Thehumanarmiesretreatedontheirown,terrifiedofwhatevermonsterthedemi-humanshadsummoned.Andthedemi-humanscouldonlystare.Theirsavior.Theirconqueror.Theirheadache.Becauseoncepeacereturned…Lucastarteddoingwhateverhewanted.HetrainedelvestofireAK-47swithmachine-perfectprecisionandforcedvegetarianslikethemtoeatgrilledmeat.Hecraftedwheel-chairsformermaidssotheycouldrollacrosslandlikesmugaquaticempresses.Hegavedwarvesdynamite'forbettermining'andimmediatelyrealizedhehadcreatedaworldwidehazard.Heusedsalamandersaslivingbarbecues,insistingitwas'efficientecologicalheatusage.'Andifthatwasn’talreadydisastrousenough,therewasmore.ThegoddesswhosentLucadownhadgivenhimasecondmission:Toactasthecontinent’sultimatebreedingbullandrepopulateeverydemi-humanrace.Whenhecasuallyannouncedthis,theentirecontinentwentsilent.Elvesfroze,vampirespanicked,mermaidstriedtorollaway,andslimegirlsmeltedinshock.Atthatmoment,everytriberealizedonething—Theyabsolutelyregrettedsummoningthishero.