Reincarnated as an AXE! Chapter 8: You don't skarn me!

Ardale wondered why life could never be easy.

Shed finally achieved her goal of locating the new dungeon. There it was, in a large clearing that had once been filled with ancient trees. Trees that she now saw being cut down and carried away by the skarn. So many bloody skarn too! Dozens of them!

Could I possibly need so assistance? She thought to herself in dismay.

The very thought of asking anyone else for help was abhorrent to her. Ardale succeeded or failed on her own in life, and she never failed! Begging for aid would be the sa as admitting she couldnt do it on her own, and Ardale could do anything. This was just going to take a bit more finesse was all.

It was nothing she couldnt handle. She was the best.

Yes, there were a lot of skarn out there, but numbers werent everything. Ardale possessed a technique that could easily deal with a large group of enemies. But in order to use it effectively, they had to be gathered in one spot. The question was how? Preparing the spell took ti and required that she sit still. That ant she couldnt deal the blow while also being the bait.

This is so annoying.Well, maybe an opportunity will present itself if I just wait a little longer.

That was unlikely. If there was one thing that Ardale had learned in her brief twenty-one years on the planet, it was that life rarely gave you free opportunities to succeed. As much as she hated to admit it, accomplishing her mission was going to require so luck. And luck was harder to acquire than gold.

All right then, she decided. This is not a tactical retreat nor an admission of failure.I was hired to find the Barrows and locate the dungeon and Ive succeeded at doing both.If anything, Ive gone above the requirents of the contract.The Aureum Order can hire so adventurers or rcenaries to deal with the skarn.Ive done my part.

Yes, that was the sensible choice to make. The sort of decision made with the cool-headed logic of a pragmatic professional. As disappointing as the conclusion of this little jaunt had been, Ardale had to give herself credit for once again following through on her personal creed: Never get carried away.

And then an idiot got involved.

Helloooooo?Helloooooo? Miss? Where aaaaare you? Hellooooo? shouted a voice that instantly alerted the skarn, who all turned their heads towards it as one and began smiling toothy, malicious grins.

What sort of careless fool just gives away his location in a monster-infested area like this one

Into the clearing entered the boy shed stumbled into earlier. Within monts he was surrounded by the skarn.

Oh.

__

Wow, these guys looked friendly! Heh, nah, Im just being silly. They were clearly filled with murderous intent!

There I was, wandering around the woods, hoping Id bump into that girl again so we could chat it up; you know, enjoy a little conversation, get to know each other better, really break the ice! And then once wed gotten all the preamble out of the way, I was going to chop her up and learn her [Magic] trait. Then Id be able to use magic too!

Wed have so much in common then! She had magic, and I was going take her magic; just imagine the conversations we could have had if she wasnt going to die painfully in the process! Mutual interests are the cornerstone of a successful relationship, you know. Sure, opposites attract, but all too often that was only temporary. In my opinion, commonality was the binding glue that truly made romance possible.

Oh, gosh, look at going on about romance! Could it be? Was it possible? Did I have a c-c-crush? Oh, Im blushing just thinking about it! No, no! I had to put away such silly thoughts! I was just an axe from earth, she was so magical girl from whatever this place was called. That made us as star-crossed as it got!

Still, she was so pretty!

Focus, axe, focus! Think about what youre about to gain!

Learning magic was going to be so aweso! It really would cent that feeling of being in another world. I an, yeah, I was a sentient axe who had learned all kinds of skills and killed a ton of monsters, and that was cool and all, but having magic would sohow make it all feel more real. Having it would be the proof that I was ant to be here! I just couldnt wait to get started.

Too bad Id quickly gotten lost.

I wish Id let the Axe Pack co with . Their noses could have tracked that lady down in no ti. But I had the distinct feeling that they did not like her very much, and I was worried theyd tear her apart if they ever saw her again. I didnt want to take the risk, so I made them stay back.

Now I was surrounded by all these off-brand orcs who were all growling at and licking their lips in a way Ive only ever seen done in a prison shower. It made feel super uncomfortable! These guys were creepy! Still, maybe theyd be able to point out the way?

Hey, guys! I said to them. I havent seen any of you around here before. Are you new to the area? Well, gosh, I guess that makes us neighbors! Yeah, Im from just down the way. Just a bachelor living the life with his doggies. Its a good life! A good quiet life.

They stood there, silently staring at .

Well, anyway, Im looking for a girl who might have passed through this way. Youd have definitely noticed her! She has silken brown hair, pale and creamy skin, eyes that sparkle majestically in the light of the stars, and a voice like warm honey being poured over your soul! I want to ask her to be my girlfriend, no-no, I want her to be my friend, I an wow, I dont even know her that well, jeez, my girlfriend, thats silly! Im being silly! But hey, do you think she might be interested?

Again, they stood there, staring.

Aww, I didnt think so either. Maybe Im a little lonelier than I realize. Ive been in these woods for quite a while, and it sure is tough eting new people out here. Im not from around here, I dont know any of the local customs, and, sigh, I guess I just got caught up in the mont. Anyway, I can see you guys are busy, so Ill get out of your hair. And hey: thanks for listening. You guys are good neighbors.

I turned to walk away but had only taken a few steps back towards the woods when I felt sothing rake down my back. It hurt! I turned around, surprised and saw one of those creatures had clawed !

Staaaaaaay, it hissed to . Whoa, that was scary!

Hey, you cut ! I yelled. Thats not being a good neighbor! You should apologize!

In response, another of them slashed at my face and removed my eye!

Ow! Thats not an apology, thats ocular mutilation! You guys arent just bad neighbors, youre bullies! You should feel ashad of yourselves!

They crowded around in a circle and began tearing away at my body using their claws and teeth. Chunks of were stripped away in an instant, leaving my blood adorning their lips. They were eating ! That was so yucky! What had I ever done to be treated this way! No, no, these guys were bullies and bullies always wanted you to think it was your fault. They were ruffians plain and simple!

Wow, getting torn apart sure was an interesting sensation. But jeez, look at the ss theyd made of ! My guts were hanging out, my arms and legs were at the wrong angles, and now I was stuck with one eye. What a ss!

All right, all right, whats going on here? asked a gruff, authoritative male voice.

I looked up with my remaining eye and saw a large, older looking fellow with salt and pepper hair wearing a red cloak over so snazzy looking personal armor, push his way past my attackers. He took one look at and frowned, clearly irritated by what he saw.

Damn skarn, he said. Boys, I told you if you ca across any strangers, you bring them to first before you start having your fun! Look at this ss! You guys are dumber than a dog driving a stagecoach, I swear!

The skarn, if thats what they were called, looked sheepishly at the ground, embarrassed. Good for you, old guy! Sha these hooligans! Teach them right from wrong!

The old guy knelt beside and said, Im sorry about this, kid. The people Im working for are complete cheapskates. Good quality rcenaries who can follow simple instructions werent in the budget apparently, so they settled for summoning these dumb slabs to use as muscle for this operation. As you can see, you get the results that you pay for.

Oh, I understand, I said sympathetically. The people I used to work for were the sa way. Always cutting the budget to squeeze out every last possible profit! No vision for sustained growth, just slash and burn economics.

Hey, youve got a little more life in you than I realized! the old guy exclaid. Well, while youre talking, would you mind telling what you were doing here?

Oh, I was just looking for this girl I t, you see...

Oh ho-ho! Did I hear that right? Looking to make a little romance happen under the starlight? he asked with a wink.

Oh, gosh no, Mister! I blushed. I dont really know her that well, I justwell, its just, she has magic you see

Oh, is that a fact? Heh, thats a coincidence, I know a little magic too.

No way! I exclaid excitedly.

Yes way!

What kind?

Im a master of Spirit magic, believe it or not.

Really? I asked. But youre so tough looking!

Well, I pride myself on being able to handle myself in a fight. Lots of spirit users lose themselves to ditation and pondering the universe and all that crap. I like eating red at and kicking ass! So, I balanced my studies with rigorous physical training. Muscles like these are the result.

Wow, youre so cool!

Thanks kid!

So, if youre a spirit user, whyre you here with these skarn guys?

Well, Im controlling them ntally. See, Skarn are idiots. Cant learn a damn thing on their own. Im here to supervise them and keep them from being too stupid. Spirit magic lets manipulate their minds and keep them under control.

Spirit magic is aweso!

It really is, he agreed. He stood up and said, Well, it was nice eting you kid. I really dig your energy! Its rare to et such positive people in my line of work.

Its no problem at all, sir! Really, I feel honored just to have t soone like you!

Thanks! All right guys, you can finish eating him now.

Huh?

And then oblivion struck.