1. The Student Council’s Stupid Idea (That Sohow Involves )
"I’ve made a grave mistake," I whispered as the crowd roared.
Up on the stage, under a glittering banner that read "Kiss Auction – Bid for Love!", I stood, tied to a prop throne, wearing a badly-fitted tuxedo, fake rose petals stuck in my hair, and the growing realization that I might not survive high school.
Let’s rewind 24 hours.
"Kazuki!" Ayaka barked, tossing a flyer at my face. "Festival’s this weekend. The student council’s organizing so kiss auction thing, and they need participants."
"And you imdiately thought of ?"
"You’ve got that whole ’accidentally flustered virgin protagonist’ vibe. Girls eat that up."
"I’m not flattered. At all."
"You’re welco."
Before I could protest further, Lilith materialized beside like a suspicious puff of perfu and whispered:
"I already bribed the student council. You’re headlining."
And just like that, I was screwed.
2. Let the Auction Begin (Kill )
The stage lights were too bright. The crowd was too loud. And every one of my chaotic harem roommates had mysteriously shown up in the front row with bid cards and dangerous expressions.
The MC—a disturbingly peppy drama club mber—grabbed the mic.
"And now, our next bachelor: a misunderstood, mysterious, mop-haired enigma of charm—Kazuki Arata!"
Crowd: SCREAMS
: Sweats audibly
"Opening bid starts at 100 yen! This is for a chaste festival kiss on the cheek! Who will fight for his affection?!"
3. Round One: The Ice Princess Makes It Snow
Mirelle, in a flowing blue yukata, raised her fan like a queen and said in her frosty tone:
"1,000 yen. And I demand it be a forehead kiss. Pure. Magical. Canon."
The crowd gasped.
She conjured gentle snowflakes mid-sumr. Soone fainted.
"1,200 yen!" scread a random first-year girl.
Mirelle narrowed her eyes and summoned a small blizzard that froze the poor girl’s shoe to the floor.
"1,500," she repeated. Calm. Dangerous.
4. Round Two: The Tsundere Throws a Punch
Ayaka literally punched the air.
"2,000 yen! And I get five seconds of uninterrupted eye contact before the kiss!"
I choked.
"Do I get a say—?"
"SILENCE!" the auctioneer yelled gleefully. "This is capitalism!"
Ayaka kicked a bidding paddle in half and glared at the competition like it was a martial arts tournant.
Soone tried to outbid her. That soone was never seen again.
5. Round Three: Chainsaw-Chan Joins and Everyone Screams
Chainsaw-chan, dressed as a maid (I wish I was joking), stood up in the middle of the crowd.
"10,000 yen. For a kiss... and one rib."
"A what now?"
"I want to collect you."
"I’m going to vomit."
She revved the chainsaw. Bidders dropped like flies. Even Ayaka hesitated.
The auctioneer, visibly terrified: "Sold! Unless soone offers their soul—?"
6. Arisu and the Tiline Twist
Suddenly, Arisu held up her bid card—marked with a glowing clock.
"One Chrono Shard. Equivalent to 100,000 yen. And the right to reset this auction in my favor."
"What the hell is a Chrono—?"
She winked. "Ti magic. You already lost to five tilines ago."
The crowd cheered. Reality warped.
Suddenly I was wearing a tuxedo made of silk and despair. The auction was starting again. Only Arisu was bidding.
7. Lilith Plays God
Before Arisu could seal the deal, Lilith stood up.
Elegant. Deadly. Carrying a glass of wine despite no alcohol being allowed on school grounds.
"One demon contract," she said.
Everyone froze.
"If I win, I get the kiss. And if I lose... everyone else gets cursed with minor but emotionally significant inconveniences."
The crowd murmured.
"What kind of curse?" soone asked.
"Your favorite ani will end on a cliffhanger."
The crowd rioted.
8. Who Won the Kiss? (Spoiler: Everyone Lost)
At this point, the auctioneer was openly sobbing. The bids were spiraling into taphysical assets. Chainsaw-chan was sharpening her tongue. Ayaka was ready to suplex soone.
And ?
Still tied to a chair. Waiting to be emotionally sacrificed.
"Okay, ENOUGH!" I shouted. "I revoke all consent. This is madness."
The lights flickered. The sky darkened.
A crack of lightning revealed the ti-traveling daughter, standing atop the school gate.
"Nobody gets to kiss my future dad unless I approve it! Ti to reset this tiline!"
She hit a button.
9. The Tiline Collapses (Again)
Boom. Back to Monday.
I was at my desk. Sweating. The kiss auction hadn’t happened—yet. Maybe.
Ayaka entered class. "Yo, festival this weekend. Wanna volunteer for the auction?"
I stared at her.
"Only if you promise not to fight any ice queens, assassins, demon royalty, or chainsaw-wielding fangirls."
"...No promises."
✅ Call to Action:
Who should’ve won the kiss auction?
Vote below: #TeamAyaka #TeamMirelle #TeamChainsaw #TeamArisu #TeamLilith
...Or #TeamRescueKazukiFromThisHarem
Next up:
🔥 Chapter 33 – "My Class Did a Maid Café... and I Got Assigned the Short Skirt"
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