Incurable Pain

BaiXunyinwasinadvertentlytraumatizedbystressduringtheyearshegraduatedfromMiddleSchool.Shebecamea“littlemute”whocouldn’tspeak.Inherfirstyearofhighschool,shespentherdayslisteningtothecynicismanddiscriminatorybullyingofpeoplearoundheruntilhersecondyearofhighschool.BaiXunyinmetYuLuoyin.Hewasclear,elegant,withstraighteyebrowsandstarlikeeyes.Hewasthemosthandsomeboyinschool,andwasthedreamboyfriendofallgirlsinschool.ButforBaiXunyin,YuLuoyinwasthefirsttoprotecther,smileather,discusstopicswithher,andthepersonwhohadlunchwithher.Theonsetofhercrushwasturbulentandconfusinginherteenageyears.

BaiXunyin’sdiaryduringthesecondyearofhighschoolwasfilledwiththename‘YuLuoyin’.BaiXunyindidnotextravagantlyaskforYuLuoyintolikeher,butshedidn’texpectthatinthethirdyearofhighschool,shewouldinadvertentlyseehis“truepersonality”inthecornerofacorridor.UnderYuLuoyin’sgentle,elegantandhandsomeappearancewasascumbag.Hefacedhistwotr*shyfriends,smiledandsaid-“Thelittlemutestartedtolikeme.Ourbetendshere,I’mboredofstayingwithher.”BaiXunyincouldnotspeak,buthereyesknewhowtocry.Sincethen,sheneverlookeddirectlyatYuLuoyinagain.

AfterwardsYoungMasterYuridiculedher,mockedher,brokeatable,apologized,andevenhurthimself,heusedvariousmethodsbutitwasstilluseless.HecouldonlykneelinfrontofBaiXunyin,hiseyesred,andhisvoicehoarse,begging—”Yinyin,forgivemeonce.Fortherestofmylife,Iwillneverdaretodothisagain.”*Youaremyunspeakableincurablepain.IthurtswhenIthinkofyou,butithurtsevenmorewhenIcan’tthinkofyou.