I Became the Simp Character I Roasted Online

Listentomeclosely.Never,andImeanNEVER,leaveahatecommentonagameforumrightbeforeyoudie.Mynameusedtobe...well,itdoesn'tmatter.Iwasa34-year-oldsalarymanwhodiedinthestupidestwaypossible.How?Igotslappedtodeathforgrabbingahighschoolgirl’s“assets”.Wait,holdon!Don'tlookatmelikethat!Itwasn'tmyfault,okay?Myhandjustmovedonitsown!Itwasjustatiny,split-secondintrusivethought!Comeon,youguysreadingthis—don'tactlikesaints.You’vehadthosedarkurgestoo,right?You’vewantedtograbsomethingforbiddenatleastonceinyourlife,right?!RIGHT?!Anyway,sheslappedme.Sohardmysoulliterallyejectedfrommybody.Ithoughtthatwasthepunishment.Iwaswrong.WhenIopenedmyeyes,Iwasin[LegendsofValtheris].Yes,thattrashgame.Theonewiththeclichéplotwheretheworldendsbecausesometeenagestudentsgettheirheartsbroken.Andtheworstpart?Ididn'tbecometheHero.Ididn'tbecometheVillain.IbecameRevanvonAlstaire.Thebackgroundcharacter.Theloser.TheguyIliterallyinsultedonlinefiveminutesbeforeIdied.Icalledhima“Simp”andlaughedathis“TinyD*ck.”Fateistrulyacomedian.Now,I’mdestinedtobethebulliedlackeyofthefutureVillainess,SylviavonVespera.ThegamescriptsaysIshouldlickherboots,acceptherabuse,anddiewithherlikealoyaldog.Screwthat.Remembermylastcomment?“Revanissuchaloser!Tinydck!IfIwereyou,insteadofbowingdown,Iwouldsqueezeherboobsandownhercompletely!Garbagecharacter!”Well,itseemsGodtookthatpersonally.Fine.Youwantashow?I’llgiveyouashow.Iwon’tbeasimp.Iwon’tfiltermywordsanymore.I’llletmyintrusivethoughtswin.I’llturnthistrashplotupsidedown—evenifIhavetoslapevery“Genius”inthisacademytodoit.