Even though I was alone in a sea of people, I felt unusually confident. So much so that Id casually dismissed my army of dragons. Okay, they werent really my dragons, but they were useful to have around for crowd control and AoE. But no, off they flew with Flossie and Dudley on board.
It might seem like I was getting them out of the way for what was most likely going to be so pretty dodgy moves by yours truly it was unlikely to go smoothly when I released the old gods back into the world but that wasnt really a big concern.
If people were going to get hurt due to my actions, sending them down the road wouldnt do much, apart from maybe giving them ti for one last how do you do. Well, maybe it would also stop them running to for help and getting in the way of my escape.
My general positive outlook (comparatively speaking) was due to my having achieved my objective at last. I was back in Gorgoth and about to let the gods out. Even if sothing untoward happened now, Id be able to leave my body and do the rest via the adjacent world. No one had the ability to stop there, not even Joshaya.
Knowing you have complete control over your own destiny, no matter how retarded and foolhardy your plans may be, is an exhilarating feeling.
Im going to do sothing stupid, and there isnt a damn thing you can do to stop .
That kind of intoxicating power is rare outside of Arican politics.
The square was slowly emptying as the guards pushed people out. I didnt really need so much space, to be honest. I just required a couple of centitres on either side and I was gucci, but its a strange fact of human nature that if you ask nicely for 2 cm, youll have to fight tooth and nail for every millitre of it. But if you demand 200 tres, most of which you wouldnt even know what to do with, people will fall over themselves to give it to you, like you must be special to ask for sothing so unreasonable.
I guess its similar to how putting sothing on sale for pennies makes it not sell, but hiking up the price convinces people it must be valuable. Of course, people could actually work out the true worth of sothing for themselves, but nobody likes doing howork, I guess.
The crowd had looked at with great indifference and a generous dollop of contempt when I first appeared (and that was on a flying fucking ship), but now showed much more reverence since Id started treating them like cattle. I did hear soone say, Is that really him? Youre joking, arent you? but I may have misheard.
Malmur took this opportunity to introduce to the other four heads of the Gorgoth unions. I couldnt for the life of tell you what their nas were.
Oh, look at the Lord Protector. Riding on flying ships and too important to rember anyones na.
No, Im not that much of an edge lord. I actually tried to pay attention and morise the nas knowing who was in charge of what might have co in useful at so point but there was a lot to take in and I kept getting distracted by the git in the crowd.
But he cant be in charge, I an, look at him. The acoustics in the square made voices carry incredibly well.
It was at tis like these that Maurices note-taking had proved to be invaluable. I an, I never actually read any of them, but they were there if needed. Now, I had to rely on my mory, which has always been terrible. I went through a period of trying to improve it using those brain training exercises online, but it turns out all they do is improve your ability to do brain training exercises.
What did you do with the princess? I asked Malmur after I pretended to know who everyone was.
She is a prisoner of war, said Malmur.
Fengarad declared war on Gorgoth? It seed an odd turn of events. Who did the declaring? Peter? Jenny? Was it just because I was here? Arrogant, I know, but possibly true.
They declared war on all the cities. They demand to be recognised as the capital city and source of all future decisions affecting Flatland.
It appeared the balance between the four cities was broken and Fengarad had decided to proclaim itself top dog. Perhaps that was what the Council were so upset about. But if they had always tried to stay in the background only interfering when unavoidable, did it make much difference to them?
Then again, I had only their word for how they operated. Were they really the good guys they purported to be? When have you ever heard of a shadowy council controlling world events from behind closed doors to surreptitiously funnel kittens to orphans? Less than fifty percent of the ti, Id guess.
People liked to control others, it was a thrill to see armies act at your command. The fact it held little appeal for was more of a handicap than anything to boast about. Id probably be much happier if I could get off on making idiots jump when I snapped my fingers. If I could turn it into an iPhone app, Id make millions.
You think Fengarad cares about the princess? I didnt see the order to declare all out war coming from the king. I doubted he was in charge.
Perhaps not, but it would be better to have a possible bargaining chip than none at all. Dont worry, she isnt in a dungeon, weve put her in very pleasant accommodations where shell be perfectly happy.
I think thats a mistake, I said.
You think Fengarad will still be offended? asked one of the other union leaders.
I have no idea, but I think its a mistake not putting her in a dungeon and chaining her to a wall. Shes not likely to say put, otherwise.
The n looked at like they werent sure if I was joking (which was pretty much how everyone looked at , especially when I was joking).
Biadet was still on the ship. Would they try to arrest her, too? Good luck with that. I still wasnt sure what was going on with her, but a weakened Biadet was probably a safer proposition right now. Safer for , that is.
It hadnt gone unnoticed by that there were so similarities between her and Richina. And if Richina was a fairy.
Not that I thought Biadet was a fairy in disguise, but whatever experints Peter had carried out on her may have involved so fairy-related modifications. It would help explain so of her godly abilities.
Damicar, you are now my Union Liaison Officer, your official title is now ULO. I turned back to the union leaders. If you need to speak to , the ULO will be your point of contact.
I didnt really care if they wanted to speak to , I just wanted to give them sothing to focus on. I had no doubt the title of Lord Protector was aningless and just a way for them to make think I had control over them, when they in fact had control over . Or sothing. The important thing was to use this small window of opportunity where they did their best to make think I could do what I wanted, to do what I wanted.
Damicar was a bit unsure of the position Id just put him in but did his best to act like it was an honour. He neednt have concerned himself, his true title was Chief of Snacks. His ability to whip up a sandwich in any environnt made him more useful than any other fucker in the city.
The square was more or less empty, now. I was pretty sure I heard, But, co on, him? drifting on the breeze, but it may have been a very persistent echo. I set off towards the temple.
Your residence is this way, My Lord, said one of the union leaders, pointing across the square.
The Lord Protector has important matters to attend in the temple first, said Joshaya. He had appeared next to , happily escorting to the portal where I would make all his dreams co true (not a euphemism). The Golden God awaits.
Yes, your eminence.
Of course, your eminence.
We only seek to win His favour, your eminence.
People of faith are very keen to welco their god into their lives, but they rarely put much thought into whether He wants to welco them into His life. That many suck-ups in one place would get annoying fast, Id imagine.
Impressive people are very attractive, of course, but once you decide you want to be with that person, I think you need to ask yourself why they would want to be with you. Gods especially.
Pope Joshayas excitent was yet another red flag, but this was the path Id chosen. At least, I thought it was. For all I knew, this was the path that had been carefully selected for . It had all the hallmarks of a con job, in that it all seed to be going according to plan. No bigger giveaway than that.
We would see. My trump card, as ever, was that I didnt give a shit. If I could finally get people to leave alone, even losing everything would be worth it. Nobody can take your dignity from you, only you can give it up. And I was happy to do so most useless attribute apart from charisma.
You can wait here, I said to the delegation at the temple entrance. Damicar, you know what to do.
Damicar looked at like he had absolutely no idea what to do, but he nodded anyway. I didnt really want anyone else around when I broke the seal on the old gods prison. Just and Joshaya would be enough.
Joshaya was practically beside himself he was so excited. Youd think he might play it cool, but he was jumping up and down, clapping and muttering to himself. His golden wig was about to fall off if he didnt chill out.
We made it to the portal without interference. There were so dead people on the way, but they didnt bother us. I was with the main man, so access all areas. The entrance was a solid wall, as it had always been from here. In the adjacent world, it was a black hole filled with stars. The question was, how did I take Richina through with ?
Once I left my body, she would remain inside my mind with Wesley. I needed to get her through the barrier if she was going to affect the void prison.
Can you make the portal accessible from here? I asked Joshaya.
? he said, like there was so other god I was talking to. If I could, would I need you?
Good point. I left my body and entered the space in my mind. Wesley and Richina were there, waiting for . Perhaps they had an idea of how to get in, they were both familiar with the guy who had built it, after all.
Just as I was about to ask, Richinas eyes grew large and her face lit up. We are here. Couldnt fault her for accuracy.
Yes, and I need to get inside, I said.
Wesley and Richina looked at each other, and then they both rushed .
They moved incredibly fast. What were they planning to do? Kick out of my own head?
Yes, pretty much. I went flying out of my body and towards the portal. I saw Joshaya grinning at , and behind him was Laney, frozen as she ran with her arms raised, shouting sothing. A warning perhaps. Its a trap, maybe?
I couldnt stop myself. My arms flailed without purpose as I went through the barrier.
Darkness surrounded . I didnt really see the point of what theyd done, I could just leave again. Couldnt I?
A red light appeared ahead of , followed by a few more lights in the background.
Um, hello there. No reason I couldnt be polite.
You have returned, said the Golden God. There was so surprise in his voice, although overall he sounded pleased, like it was a pleasant surprise.
Yep. Is Arthur here? I was just checking.
No, but you are, and that is all that matters. Most people would take that as a complint. What did they want with now?
Thanks, good to be back. Hows everyone doing? I planned to open with a joke, do so crowd work, end with a song and get off stage.
You are the last one to claim your place. As leader of this city, your role is now legitimate. Welco.
He made it seem like Id won a prize. I dont know what youre talking about.
Before Id finished speaking, a light appeared in front of . It expanded to reveal a map of Flatland, similar to the one Cowdrey had shown , but covering a much larger area. The four cities were all on there, as was Shrine Island.
As a ruler, you will have full rights to command the armies of Gorgoth, and those provinces you conquer.
I seed to have stumbled into so kind of ga. Maybe it had always been one. I wasnt sure if that made it any better if it ant I was going to be forced to stick around. I had no interest in playing Risk, bloody pointless ga, unless you have Australia, of course.
The prize is everything you want, including a way ho.
Call overly suspicious, but since when did anyone give away power to the person most deserving of it? I was going to get stitched up eventually, that was for damn sure.
Theres a test psychologists do with kids, where they offer them a sweet now, or wait twenty minutes and get three sweets later. Young kids take the sweet imdiately, the future is a concept they cant grasp. Older kids understand the benefit of patience and take the increased number of sweets later.
On the one hand this is a stunning example of behavioural science in action, proving that a three year old is dumber than a five year old (Nobel Prize in the post), but ultimately its completely unrelated to the way the world works.
If you wait, the situation might change. If the company goes bankrupt, there will be no sweets, the candy bank is suddenly empty. If they find a better test subject during the wait, theyll switch to them no one gives a shit about your handshake agreent. Or they might just be lying, and its a trick to sell you a tishare in Spain.
My point is, take the fucking Mars bar while you can, the future is an uncertain place where no one keeps their word. Toddlers know more than theyre letting on.
From here, continued the Golden God, you can instantly travel to anywhere in the world.
Who doesnt feel happier when they unlock fast travel? The devs made you walk around so you could appreciate their grass physics see how it wafts in the digital breeze as your CPU reaches the temperature of a supernova but now you can skip everything except the main quest, yippee!
There was an atmosphere surrounding that seed to insist on finding this an amazing developnt.
Youve made it to the final four, its off to Hollywood for the live show where we definitely wont squeeze you dry for short-term profit and then dump you in an alley, soiled and broken.
My plan was never to just do as I had been told. It was far too likely that Id been manipulated into doing all of this and nothing good would co of it for . The one thing I had learned about the void was that my magic worked here. Id also noticed that no one else hurt themselves the way I did when I used it.
Why would they drain their own life force when they could drain it from the people around them? Theyd even gone as far as giving a sword and shield that allowed to focus my abilities elsewhere. Kind of them.
I dropped both sword and shield and created a ball of light that was both illuminating and healing. I felt it draw the energy out of as it grew larger, lighting up the void.
The old gods, wrapped in black mist, retreated, but the light pursued them.
No, stop. The light seed to hurt them as much as it hurt . Sounded like a fair exchange.
I decided to ignore the request. I was special, you dont order around special people. Shouldnt they be telling how brilliant I was? Odd that they only thought I was aweso when I did what they said.
The light was quite fierce, ripping away the shrouds of darkness, revealing tiny girls with wings.
Fairies. Everywhere I looked, little fuckers were hovering like mosquitoes.
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