Help! I Became A Guy In A BL Novel! Chapter 149: Without You

The mont they returned to the manor, Riven was bracing himself for Eli’s healing herbs. He had been coming every day, the second ti was just to give him the birth control herbs, but they started becoming close friends.

From Ronan, he hoped for a warm bath, a snack, and a kiss to the forehead—he’d been brave, after all. Instead, he was promptly tossed onto the bed like a sack of flour.

He bounced with a small oomph, blinking up at the ceiling before Ronan’s looming figure filled his vision.

The Alpha stood at the edge of the bed, arms crossed, his powerful stance filled with barely restrained energy. His brows were furrowed, his jaw was tight, and his icy blue eyes were blazing—not with rage, but sothing more complicated. Deeper.

Riven tried to roll to the side, as if he might just burrow under the blankets and disappear, but Ronan’s voice ca low and sharp. He couldn’t even feel the pain from his wound.

"Don’t even think about it." He placed his hands on his hips and took a step closer, not raising his voice but letting it press down like iron. "What was the real reason?"

Riven blinked up at him, feigning innocence. "Reason for what? I an, I just wanted to enjoy a day out, and there were ats on skewers—"

"Riven."

He sighed. Of course, the Alpha wouldn’t let this slide.

"I’ve been cooped up in here forever, you know," Riven tried again, sitting up slowly with the grace of a sulking cat. "You know how dramatic I can get when I’m deprived of sunlight and fresh air, I’m basically a plan! It was purely for my ntal health."

Ronan stepped forward, leaning in, gaze unwavering. "You threw a tantrum. You made Troy nervous. And you pushed past my refusal. You never push unless it’s for sothing important. So tell ." His voice lowered. "Why did you have to go out today?"

Riven bit his lip, looking away. His leg throbbed. He could feel the ache in his bones, but none of that compared to the heat of Ronan’s gaze. The Alpha was worried. Still angry. But mostly, he was hurt.

That made Riven squirm.

"I just—" he started, then stopped. The silence stretched, heavy.

Ronan didn’t fill it. He waited.

Finally, Riven exhaled, shoulders slumping. "I knew sothing was off with the elders. I overheard a conversation last week. They’re getting bolder, and... I thought if I gave them a nudge, they’d take the bait. I wanted to see how far they’d go. Who was watching? Who would try sothing?" He glanced up. "It would give you the opportunity to deal with them!"

Ronan’s expression didn’t change imdiately. He just stared at Riven, unreadable. Then, quietly, he said, "I have my own ans, Riven. I didn’t need a reason. I don’t need an excuse to move against them."

"You would’ve needed one to act without igniting a political firestorm," Riven argued softly.

"I’m the Alpha." Ronan’s voice sharpened. "I decide what to do. What I want. And ever since I marked you, I told myself I will start prioritising my needs, my desires, and not care about the elders or anyone else..."

That made Riven go still.

Ronan stepped closer again, and this ti his touch was gentle. He crouched in front of Riven’s injured leg and began unrolling a long strip of cloth. Riven watched as he worked, careful and precise, wrapping the injury with a softness that betrayed the frustration simring beneath.

"I can’t believe you would try sothing so stupid." He chided while making sure the wound was clean and tying it up.

"I thought I could help," Riven muttered back.

"You did not," Ronan said, tugging the bandage into place with a firm knot. "But you also nearly got yourself killed. You made worry. Do you have any idea what I felt when I received the report from Troy?"

Riven blinked. That was how Troy was going to summon Ronan? Just leave him a note?

How would that even work? Sensing his confusion, Ronan clarified, "Troy confessed everything in the report and asked to co to the location."

Riven swallowed, looking away. "Sorry," he said quietly.

"No." Ronan stood again. "You don’t get to be sorry yet."

Riven blinked. "Excuse ?"

"I’m not calling Eli."

Riven’s eyes widened. "What? Why not?"

Ronan folded his arms again. "You’re going to heal normally, without the special accelerating herbs that Eli brings."

"Oh no no no. That sounds painful and barbaric. I much prefer the magical sparkly solution—"

"I know." Ronan’s voice was calm now. "But I need you to rember this pain."

Riven fell silent, eyes narrowing. "You’re punishing ?"

"I am," Ronan said, unabashed. "Because I need you to understand. You don’t throw yourself into danger just because you think you can flirt your way out. Or because you want to look clever. Or because you want to prove sothing to ."

"I didn’t want to look clever, I just wanted to help." Riven pouted. Ronan was clearly struggling to take action since it was sothing he was not used to. He thought this assassination attempt would give Ronan an excuse to investigate thoroughly and eliminate the damned elders.

"And you did," Ronan said again, softer this ti. "But you also scared . And that matters too. So this pain? Let it remind you not of your failure, but the pain I experienced when I saw you injured." He did not add that the pain he felt when he realised that Riven did not trust him.

Riven’s breath hitched.

Ronan stepped closer, reaching out and brushing his knuckles against Riven’s cheek. "You have . You have all of . I can’t lose you just because you decided you needed to help. You are not a soldier. You are not bait. You are—"

"I’m yours?" Riven finished, his voice suddenly small.

"You are ... If that makes sense. There is no without you."