"What’s with all these noises?" I asked as soon as I opened my eyes.
"Oh that your dad and brother are talking outside", the nurse said.
I didn’t have any mories of before. I don’t even have an idea why I was laying here.
"Umm... sister, why am I here?" I asked in a low tone.
"You fainted, so a guy brought you here then we inford your parents", she said.
"Oh thanks", I said and got up from bed. I don’t feel pain anywhere, so it was easy for to get up and walk. But I slowly went near the door when I heard their conversation.
"Why didn’t you look after her?" it was dad’s voice.
"Dad... this ti it is not my fault", he said, making want to hear more.
"What?"
"Dad, I know you still think what happened back then was my fault, but you forget I can take care of her outside of class but not inside", Brother said.
Dad was still silent. While I don’t know where the conversation is going.
"Dad, why don’t you look at the way you look at her?" I wasn’t even expecting this question. So is it my fault that they are arguing? I didn’t have any idea that my brother felt like this.
As he finished his sentence, I was standing in front of them. Dad tried to co to in a panic, but I stopped him.
"I’m ok dad", I smiled brightly.
"I’m going to school", I said and sauntered away. I thought I was about to go to school alone, but I saw Jas when I turned toward the exit. He ran toward and supported when I rembered a mory.
I heard soone crying, calling my na. I rember soone held when I was about to fall.
But who is it? Is he that person? If he is that person, then I want to say my feelings by opening my arm even if I’m going to get discarded or rejected?
I thought for a long ti. He brought to school in his cycle the way we ca in the morning. It was refreshing, but the mont he dropped near my classroom, I stopped him.
"What? You need sothing?" he asked.
"No, but I need to ask you sothing", I said.
"Was it you who took to the hospital?"
There was a long pause between our conversations. I, too, was waiting patiently for his answer, which was taking my breath away.
"Why do you want to know?" he asked instead.
"No reason", I hid.
"So tell , was it you who brought to the hospital?" I asked again.
"Ah yeah, it was ," he said, looking away.
"You need to ask sothing else?" he waited for to speak.
"Yeah, Will you be my boyfriend?" I said it.
Yeah, I said it. But I don’t seem to get the excitent which I should. But sorrow kept choking from the inside. Is it because I hear brother and dad’s conversation? Maybe it is.
"What did you say?" he asked.
"I clearly said what you hear, so will you be my boyfriend?" I said again.
"You think through this, right?"
"I thought about this long ago. I was thinking about this too when you told you would have never had feelings for a kid, so it’s been pretty long." I smiled.
"Were you serious back then?" he again asked.
"I’m not sure, but my diary clearly stated I had feelings for you even more than before. You stated as a kid."
"And the way you said you t through Jace was a lie." his facial expression changed.
"How? You?"
"Didn’t I say diary?"
"What more did you read?"
"Nothing so your answer?" I asked.
He glanced at my back and left without giving an answer.
I turned to see who it was but I found Aaron standing behind .
"Hey", I said with a smile.
"Hey, you ok?" his voice was low.
"Yeah, but I don’t rember what made end up in the hospital?" I felt embarrassed.
"You didn’t?"
"Yeah, I don’t."
He didn’t say anything else while I went and sat in my place.
No one ever bothered about how I’m? Why did I go to the hospital in the middle of the school and all? I’m alone here. Aaron sits beside , but he too feels far. He makes feel those feelings which I am even unaware of. If there is sothing I could explain, this man is nothing but an empty shell.
Wait a minute!!
I read sothing similar to this in my diary.
My old self wrote she had a person in class who made her feel the weird sensation, but he was nothing. But how could it be so similar? No, no, I’m sure both are different. Why would he co here when he was studying in another school? Is there any reason?
I turned toward him, but as soon as he saw , I looked away.
I looked at him again but he caught this ti.
"What are you doing?"
"You have sothing to ask?"
"Ummm....
"Speak what you have to ask?" he asked.
"I wanted to ask, have you been to Y high school?" yeah I asked.
"Why do you ask?"
"Nothing I felt like", I said.
"You don’t need to know about all this," he said.
I again ended up turning toward my books.
"Did you fall for him?" He caught off guard.
"What?"
"It’s just what you heard. Did you fall for him?" he asked .
I completely stayed silent. I didn’t want to answer this.
"Hey, I’m asking sothing", he asked and pulled toward him.
"It’s hurting ", I tried to pull my hand away.
"Tell !!! Did you fall for him?" he again asked, making shout.
"Yeah, I fell for him. Did you have enough? Or do you want to shout again and again and tell you yeah I freaking fell for him? Enough!!!"
I lose my mind.
I looked at him but his facial expression was not visible to . It was completely hidden. He hid it while I tried to see it. It made feel as if I made so mistake.
After school, I didn’t see Jas. I walked toward his class, but I had to face Jace instead. He tried to co close to but I turned my back on him as if I had once done it but brutally which will hurt , not him.
I again walked toward the entrance but I saw dad was already there. He too tried to talk to but I walked away but no one followed nor did they bother to disturb . That’s how I ended up at ho where mom was waiting outside.
"Ayla, I heard you fainted again. Are you ok? You are not feeling uncomfortable anywhere, right?" she kept asking, but I again walked away
I lost count of just how many people I turned my back on today.
No matter what I think, my brother who will graduate from high school in 2 months said he was jealous of . How could he say that when dad always helped him file his forms of childhood to till now, but in my ti, dad always stayed busy and Jace ended up helping ? How could he say that? Dad doesn’t look at him the way he does to ? How?
"Ayla, stop", Jace called when I was climbing stairs.
I stopped as he said.
I waited for him to say so I didn’t even turn toward him.
"Ayla, talk to ", he said as if I’m making him cry.
I again didn’t reply.
"Ayla, I’m sorry", but this is not what I was expecting.
"Ayla, I know you are behaving like this because of what you heard, but please trust , it is not like that." He said.
I finally turned toward him when mom looked at all dumbfounded.
"What do you expect to say?" I asked.
"I want you to not misunderstood ." he said.
I steal another glance toward mom.
"You know that ti I said when mom asked if I hate her. You know what I answered her?" I said.
Mom looked down.
"I answered her. I don’t hate her nor love her, as I never rember spending much ti with her."
I added, "And I told her it was Dad and you who I always find in any situation of mine." He smiled, but I know that won’t be a stay for long.
"But today everyone made feel wrong. Now I’m clearly saying that it was none who was with without having alternative thoughts, but it was myself who cling on to you despite being everything. And at last I’m really sorry to make you feel I’m taking dad’s feelings away from you."
"I’m truly ashad of that."
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