Casual Heroing Chapter 219: Revelations

Are you sure you are not a homosexual? Anneus smiles wickedly, noticing how upset I got after such an assumption.

Yeah, absolutely sure. I like won, Anneus.

Alba keeps looking depressed by this piece of news. I an, whats the matter with this girl, huh? What does she an by a noble that fled his country because of a goddamn homosexual affair? What is this person even reading in her free ti?!

Other guesses? I sigh.

You had an illicit child so ti ago, and now you ca back to take care of it! Alia screams while clapping her hands in excitent.

I simply stare at the woman and choose to ignore what she just said.

Next?

You are a criminal?

Thats Marcellus for you.

Technically, yes, I smile. But in practice, not really. Oh, by the way.

Almost forgot.

I take out the baguettes that everyone among the students seems to love. That girl, Cassandre, has created a raging culture revolving around phallic pieces of bread filled with everything you could possibly imagine and more.

So, there are still a bunch of other things. Marcellus, your first guess was sowhat close to ho. Anyone else?

Zahra opens her mouth, but I instantly point a finger at her.

Dont you dare!

Co on, [Colonel], we both know who you are. Just drop the ga, she smiles.

What?

What?

You are [Colonel] Abrax!

I look around, trying to understand if anyone in the room knows who Zahra is talking about, but all I see are faces as confused as mine. It seems that the na doesnt really ring a bell to anyone here.

Wrong, apparently, I muse.

The woman falls into a ditative silence and looks at the ring on her left pinkie. Whatever just happened, I should check her file later there was a lot of military gibberish, and probably the answer to what just went down right here.

Next?

Gioeius, or whatever your na is, wouldnt it be faster if you just told us?

Adrastus, my man, you are a mood-killer. Wheres the fun in that, huh?

Plus, if these people will never talk to again after knowing my real identity, I better take my sweet-ass ti.

So, do you have any guesses?

Adrastus sighs and shrugs.

Are you perhaps the Human who killed Appius and Alba, the two future [Archmages] of the academy? I dont know, Gioeius, co on. Just tell us. Who are you?

What? Alba was going to be an [Archmage]? Ah, I didnt know that. Well, better like this then. I wouldnt have wanted such a person in the high spheres here at the academy.

Suddenly, the atmosphere freezes over. Everyone stops fidgeting with books, baguettes, their clothes, their hair, and others hair as well.

I smile.

Yep, people. I didnt deny it.

I raise my hand and snap my fingers, still smiling.

After a few beats, I rember that I actually have to deactivate the disguise myself. The snap of the fingers is pure theatrics; it doesnt actually do anything.

Yep, Im the Human. Made a couple of deals with the [Archmages] after my talk with the [Dean]. I will release a lot of knowledge on old magic and Cantrips to the public. In return, they will vouch for and protect my reputation, so to say. Long story short, Im not a criminal anymore. And even before, for your information, I was challenged to the death. They made do it. The only person I almost killed who didnt want to get killed like an idiot was the Vanedeni guy, the disciple of [Princess] Valarith.

Adrastus is the one who imdiately reacts violently to the news. He jumps on his feet, taking out a wand and pointing it at .

I an, man, no offense, really but do you think you could do anything to when I put Appius to fertilize the sweet ground of the academy?

You are a traitor! Adrastus exclaims.

In response, Anneus raises one of his crutches and smashes it on Adrastuss head, downing him in one go. See, when I say smash, I an he almost broke the magically reinforced crutches.

Holy, I say while checking on Adrastus, whos clutching his head in pain.

Take a potion, I say while fishing out so superior stuff I still have from before the duels.

I dont want nothing to do

Anneus rains another blow on the poor man on the ground.

Anneus! I shout, you are going to kill him!

Fucking deserves it, Anneus nods, doesnt know you and reacts like that? Fuck him.

Jesus, pal.

Ok, ok. Dont worry. Adrastus wont say anything stupid again, right, Adrastus? I look at the man whos groaning in pain on the ground. He nods vaguely while contorting his face in several illustrations of pain.

After helping Adrastus up, I see that Zahra and Alba are pretty chill at the news. Marcellus looks at in admiration, and thats a bit weird. The others have a pretty standard reaction, nothing much. People dont freak out like crazy in real life, it seems.

Had this been one of the Korean dramas that my mother likes so much, there would have been a hell of a reaction.

So, yeah, Im Joey Luciani, people.

How you doin? I add imdiately.

You beca a teacher? And you are also going to be a student? [Archmages] will attend your lessons? Anneus asks, putting in words what everyone is thinking. Its not even a real question; at this point, its more like asking for confirmation when sothing utterly absurd happens.

My little group is now basically a little celebrity clique. I told everyone that I would still participate in the group activities and that instantly made us famous. Students love school drama, and hell, Im basically teor Garden on steroids.

Yes to everything. [Archmages] wanted to be exonerated. But I told them that we were doing it my way. And guess what? They are so greedy for knowledge that they accepted it. Cool, huh?

How did you not get murdered? Anneus asks, confused.

If push ca to shove, I could probably kill an [Archmage]. Probably. Not sure at all. But I am definitely going to be the next big thing, the next super-strong [Archmage]. And you know why? I wink at them.

Everyone hangs on my words as if Im going to reveal God knows what arcane secret to ascending to Archmagery overnight.

Because Im too cool. Thats why.

You are Joey Luciani, Aurelia, the [Alchemist] responsible for the potions, speaks up. She has not interacted with us much so far, even after being put in our group. She has mostly stuck with Sabina, although she doesnt give the impression of being shy.

The one and only, baby, I wink again.

My mom visited your bakery in Amorium, she says, stupefied. Shes an [Alchemist] and said that you have invented a new ferntation thod for bread!

Oh, cool, cool, cool. I have a terrible mory, so Im sorry if I dont rember your mother. Did she say she enjoyed the food?

Well, shes been traveling all over the country, Aurelia sighs, but she did ntion in her letters that she loved your food. She also said that she had to get out of Amorium or risk becoming so fat she wouldnt be able to move around a laboratory.

Oh, the biggest complint for any [Baker] is seeing your clients get fat at your doing, I smile.

Just got an idea.

If I ever manage to go back to Earth, Id like to beco known as public enemy number one to the Diabetologist Society. Or whatever the diabetes-curing people are called.

So, now what? Anneus asks, looking around the auditorium and the people trying to pile on top of each other to reach us.

I need to get sowhere else before we do anything. et you guys tomorrow at the lecture in the morning!

We have no lessons tomorrow morning, Sabina mumbles.

Well, whatever. Co to my house, then! Ill make so treats for all of you. Promise!

I look at a colossal compound with tons of people gathered from all over. Its right in front of the Adventurers Guild, on the opposite side of the street. Delicious slls are coming from it. I put a cigar in my mouth and take Princess Bianca in a regal Princess-carry.

Hell, do you think they forgot about ? I say, only half-joking.

The pig squeals loudly and shakes her head.

One can only hope, I sigh and go inside the place.

As soon as I put a foot in the humongous bakery, Im overwheld by its whiteness not in a racist way and its refined style. But it also has a kind of woody feeling that makes everything feel cozy; this way, the ragged adventurers dont look too out of place, but it also makes the place look incredibly elegant.

Looking at the counter, I recognize a woman who used to be holess. I absolutely do not rember her na, as you would expect from . But I rember she was a terrible [Baker], and we decided to put her at the counter. It happened around the ti Stan disappeared on .

Oof, man.

Feels weird.

I walk up to the counter with the white Wallorian Treasurer in my hands and smile.

Hello, this place sucks. Can I speak with your manager?

The woman looks at with a confused expression at first, but when she takes a better look, she almost doubles over.

FOR ALL THE ROTTING LEAVES!

I swear they make up these expressions on the spot. It cant be a thing, co on.

Agrippina, stop shouting at the custors!

An angry Camilla cos out of a door that seemingly appeared out of nowhere, all covered in flour. When she sees , she goes: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA.

No exclamation point, for so reason.

I give her a custom-made Luciani-trademark wink and smile toothily.

Sup, lady? I know Im handso, but we are in a workplace; cant you keep it down? Other people here are trying to work

Camilla tackles so violently that I feel the air punched out of . Oof, she punched in the stomach too. Oof, another punch.

YOU?! WHAT ARE

Oh, shit, the news of my coming was propagated to the Watch, right? But the Watch didnt have a reason to alert my friends, I guess.

Camilla, girl, you put on weight, please, I say while trying to remove her from atop of . Princess Bianca, the smartest in the room, jumped away from my arms and up to the counter the second she saw Camilla charge.

Camilla! What are you doing to that custor Flaminias words die in her throat when she sees winking at her while my face is still red from the pain of soaking all the blows from the angry-crying Camilla.

Nice buns, I say, looking at the tray the woman carries in her hands.

JOEY?!

Oh, shi

Flaminia throws away the tray in a very irresponsible act of food wasting and jumps on top of as well, crying imdiately.

You ca to Amorium the last ti, and you didnt co to us?! she punches my stomach, helping Camilla, who was keeping up with her murder attempt.

If you let get up, I could explain

WHO IN THE HIGHEST TREES IS MAKING ALL THIS NOISE?!

Clodia cos out of the kitchen with a long wooden spoon while a bewildered audience is still catching up with whats happening.

With a little bit of physical prowess and a lot of magical intervention, I remove both Camilla and Flaminia from atop of and dust myself off.

Yo, Clodia, I smile, I hope you ran the place tightly in my absence.

What are you doing here? Clodia looks almost scared for .

Im back, baby, I smile. Got all the chargesdo you call them charges? The accusations? Whatever it is. The nobles who wanted to drop dead? Got them all to fuck off because I allied with so [Archmages]listen, it doesnt matter. Im back. Thats all. Ill teach at the Nine Towers Academy, but Ill co back almost every day to be sure things are running smoothly. I an, as soon as I figure out the spell myself, that is. You know, spatial magic is a huge pain in the ass. And the Mana cost! Hell, Ill need a ritual. Catalysts. Stuff. It will be expensive. But Im rich, I think. Also, are we making money here? How much money do you owe again? And what was the split? Hell, I forgot a lot of stuff.

As Im speaking, I see two figures stumble through the kitchen door with wide mouths and nearly frozen.

Hehe, my two managing [Chefs], I smile at Tiberius and Quintus.

We got the recipe you sent secretly, Tiberius says while his fake leg clacks on the floor.

Hope you managed to make it. Im in the mood for a Mimosa.

The two adults, both veterans of war, both ex-holess, and both my favorite employees, start tearing up as they look at .

So, you are back? Quintus says, trying to hide the only eye where tears can co from.

Yeah, Im back, baby, I say, starting to feel the sting in my eyes too.

Theres nothing worse than seeing strong n like those two cry.

For Christs sake, stop crying, I say with a sob, and I hug them both, hell, I hate you both.

We missed you, [Chef], Tiberius says, hugging tightly.

Fucking idiots, grown-ass n crying like babies, I say while putting my head over Tiberius's shoulder.

I was wrong.

I am ho.

I have friends who miss .

I have people ready to fight for .

Life aint so bad after all.