Ass.
Jiggly, pearly, big butts.
Round, peachy cheeks.
I look at Ariostus, whos gesturing at to co forward. Oh, yeah, right, the presentation. Sorry, I just lost myself in important thoughts; dont mind . Sotis, we have to interrogate ourselves on life's most profound questions. And truly, theres only one real response to everything
And, after cleaning his na with the authorities, Im proud to announce that Joey Luciani will be joining us as a [Professor]! Ariostus shouts.
God, I could do without the theatrics, maybe. Or maybe not. Who am I kidding? I love this stuff.
Hello there! I ramp up the volu of my voice with so Mana. The [Mages] here have no microphones. Either you know how to amplify your voice, or you are not worth listening to; its as easy as that to understand how proficient of a spellcaster you are.
Its an honor to co here! I say to a sea of faces that can barely contain contempt. Nothing weird about that. I killed a bunch of idiots they worshipped a few months ago, didnt I? Plus, there are two vacant towers after my duels.
I bring with the magic of old. I know that you may not like and that so of you think Im a Human spy, or worse, a Vanedeni spy. But I ca here because I want to study magic with fellow [Mages], and also because there are many things I can teach my fellow [Mages].
I can feel Ariostuss aura behind . The guy already wants to choke . He said to avoid any political takes. But you know, buddy, Im from the US of AEverything is politics.
"I hope Ill be the cornerstone of a more neutral academy. I am a friend of Elves but also a friend of Vanedenis. I, surprisingly, dont know many Humans, as you might think. But I hope to be a friend to all races, species, and won!
My joke falls on deaf ears. Most [Mages] in the main auditorium that Ariostus had reserved for the occasion are looking around, confused. Only a few seem to be giggling, having understood my joke.
Ill be teaching three classes. Ill be your instructor for Advanced Cantrips! And I sorely recomnd everyone to join, even older students! Why? Well, even your dear [Archmages] will have to attend my class!
Gasps and shouts fill the auditorium for a second before I cast a [Silence] spell over the students.
Well, they wanted to teach them the good stuff privately. But I believe that magic should be shared with the public. So have already asked, so Ill say in advance that I will not be teaching the secrets of my class, specifically; no one expects to, anyway. But Ill be teaching you all the tools youll need to excel in your personal brand of magic. What I really care about is that everyone learns the basics. Also, its not common for a professoroh, right. The two other classes will be secret classes! What are they going to be about? Its a secret!
I see a few students laugh, and I smile at them. I can also see my study group, the people who have had to listen to my explanation as to who I am, not even a few hours ago.
So, as I was saying, it is unusual for a [Professor] to be presenting research material, but I hope to change the way business is conducted here. Therefore, Ill tell you that as a [Professor], Ill be researching the secrets of Light Magic hidden in the academy. But my formal research will compile all the generalist knowledge about learning magic. Hopefully, Ill be here for many years to study with all of you and learn alongside you. Oh, right. Ill also attend the lessons that Ill not be holding! After all, everyone has to learn new stuff, even a [Professor]!
I lift the [Silence] spell and find a surprising number of people clapping. Theres a fair share of boos, but I did not expect the support. My group is among the ones clapping. Well, thats good. I really feared that I would have burned the bridges with them once I told the truth.
And that was all from [Professor] Luciani! Ariostus basically wrestles off the stage and continues to give updates and the latest news. There will be a few changes at the academy, including the fact that, as I anticipate, the [Archmages] will assist with lessons. Also, the students are asked not to bother the [Archmages] too much.
Oh, I should tell the students in my class to ask the [Archmages] as many questions as possible. What fascinating conversations could co out of that, I wonder. Theres too much protected knowledge around here. Back on Earth, I dated a few hot PhDs and Associate Professors. They told that the research field is terribly slow because the propagation of information among researchers is all but imdiate. Many fear that if they drop the ball for even a second, others will take over, copy the research, and publish it first. So, many are extrely jealous when it cos to their research. Also, people are more interested in citations than anything else.
You know what? Lets try to kickstart a truly academic world. The fact that these idiots lost the knowledge of the Cantrips and God knows what else is ridiculous. Theres too much asymtry between populations. Instead, we should be circulating more knowledge. Mh, I could ask the Vanedenis, once they are back in the ga, if they could help maintain the information sharing. In the end, those people are crazier than mad cows; I doubt theres anyone more apt for such a job.
As I leave the auditorium, I think back to what happened with my little group.
So, why have you gathered us here? Anneus frowns, annoyed.
Ive got so news I smile, making a headcount to be sure everyones here. Alia, are you listening?
The older woman is fussing with Sabinas hair, swatting away the poor girls hands every ti she tries to free herself from the motherly clutches.
Wait a second! Sabina, what are you washing your hair with?! Look at this; its terrible! Your hair feels like hay! My God, we need to get you so new products! I know a [rchant] that is in cahoots with a famous [Beautician] who is in bed with a couple of [Alchemists]. Ill make sure that we get the best for you!
Jesus, Alia.
Does this have anything to do with the fact that the [Dean] called for a big eting in the auditorium and that theres been a lot of movent around the high floors?
Thats Zahra for you. The perceptive black woman looks at with a sly smile. I dont know how, but she seems to know much more than she lets on. Or at least shes extrely good at the guessing ga.
Yes, its about the [Dean] calling for a school assembly. Its very important, and it would an a lot if you all could sit for a second.
Even though I made a scene in Cassandres bakery, Ive put on the disguise again. I cant just walk among these people with my Human face and spook them. Or could I? It would have definitely been quite the entrance. Hell, maybe next ti.
Whatever happens, it better happen sooner than later. Im happy to have taken this choice, honestly. Im not too big on lies. I dont know if its the hyper-guilt that my mother has instilled in with her Christian teachings, but its surely affecting my ntality and how I approach every single thing in my life. I care about these people, see. They are in the woods, as soone would put it. Or simply, they are in the shit. To put it gently, they are paddling up not just a creek but the Niagara Falls of fecal matter.
And you know what, Ive interrogated myself about it. Like, am I just creating a savior complex? Am I doing too much? Or is there a thing as too much? Am I getting the King Arthur complex? Is that even a thing? Maybe not on Earth, but surely it could be a thing here.
Anyway, the point is that, before coming here, Id been thinking about whether or not Ive made a good call. I dont want to be patronizing. I dont want to be the Draconian guy hanging over all their heads, knowing whats best for them. But at the sa ti, I cant be fully candid about the fact that I know all the details of their lives. These people have gone through so shit, ok? And when you have a life like that, you dont want soone you barely know to make everything resurface just like that.
So, what I told myself was that Id simply wait. If they need help, Ill be there. If they dont, their secrets are safe with . I dont need to be a savior. But Ill be one if its needed.
So, long story short, my real na is not Gioeius Lucianus, I say as everyone sits down in my house I asked Marcellus to gather every single one of them, telling them its super important.
Not many of you seem surprised so far, I frown.
You are clearly hiding sothing, Zahra answers. That you were not using your real na was clear.
Alba, the huge Ahali woman, shrugs.
Everyone has secrets, she says.
Im not sure if shes trying to justify herself or .
Whatever. Fake na. But did you know that Im not an Elf? I smile suggestively.
Yeah, Anneus nods. You barely use any Elven expressions or slang. And you dont talk like a noble. Also, you seem to know close to nothing about [rchants]. And didnt you claim that you ca from a family of [rchants]? Ive never seen a son of a [rchant] so flat-eared with their money. You are greener than a Druids ass.
I look at the others, and everyone nods.
Huh.
I an, at this point, do you want to guess what Im going to say next? Because I swear, if any one of you, save for Zahra, guesses what Im going to say, Ill give you a thousand gold coins.
You are a homosexual Human noble who had to flee his own country after romancing the Royal Prince! Alba talks so fast I can barely catch what she says.
WHAT?!
Anneus sniggers and nods.
WHAT ARE YOU NODDING FOR?! I shout, incensed.
Alba, I try to take a deep breath to calm myself, would you mind explaining yourself?
Well, you sotis act funny around won. It seems like youve never really courted a woman. And you cook a lot
IS COOKING A GAY TRAIT NOW?
Always has been, Anneus smiles while moving his crutches around.
I swear the only reason this guy doesnt get beaten up every single day is because hes disabled. And this thing about cooking! Hell! The gays already stole the peace flag and Netflix; do they get male cooking too now?!
Anyway, I say, no, Alba, Im not a gay noble who had a hanky-panky with the Royal Prince.
Alba drops her gaze to the ground, clearly disappointed. I'd probably beat her up if she wasnt taller and more muscular than .
Anyone else? With a sound theory, maybe?
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