ZARAH~
I looked through the windows of the Cafe and saw her sitting down with a coffee in her hands. I had only co here because she had been constantly pestering my phone but now I wasn’t so sure I wanted to exchange words with the woman who had contributed so much to making my life harder than it needed to be, I took a step closer to the door and imdiately her eye’s locked with mine, she rose up with a happy look in her eyes but all it did was make angry, I stepped through the door and walked to the table she sat, I put down my handbag beside my chair as I sat down hesitantly.
"What?" I said wanting her to hastily get on with whatever it was she had to say.
"You look good," she said in an awkward attempt at flattery but I didn’t care for it.
"What?" I asked again, my tone harsher than it had been earlier.
"I wanted to speak to you Zah."
"Don’t call that," I said.
"I’m sorry." she imdiately apologized then a silence fell over us before she broke it.
"I’m — I’m clean now," she said nervously, and I felt my blood begin to boil.
"do I care!, no let rephrase, Why should I care!" I spat every word filled with more anger than the last.
"I know I was a terrible parent and I don’t bla you for hating , but I’ve—" she tried to say but I wasn’t having it.
"Don’t co at with that righteous shit!" I said the volu of my voice high enough that other custors turned their heads to us, I quickly composed myself and rested back into my chair.
"My problems started with you Ronda, every ti I stepped out of that box and was away from you I felt better because you made my existence miserable, my father left and you blad , he betrayed the pack and they blad , I was sixteen, my father didn’t enough about to stay, I needed you! I needed my mother! But all I got was ’you’." I said, I heard the sound of my own voice and even I was surprised by how much pain they carried.
"I don’t have a defense, I was shit." She said as she put down her coffee cup and looked straight at "I had you when I was sixteen and your father was my world, when he left I was broken and drugs and alcohol felt like an escape so I dived into it. Every ti I looked at you I saw him and I got angry and I resented him for leaving and I projected that resentnt unto you and it made treat you like shit, I know no amount of apologies will make up for how I treated you but I just want to have a chance in your life, I just want you to give one chance to be your Mom" she explained, her words sank into my soul, I felt sorry for her but it couldn’t erase how I felt about everything she put through, even though for the first ti her words didn’t upset I still couldn’t forgive or forget everything she did, everything she said.
"You can’t just apologize and expect all those years of abuse to disappear, you can’t," I said tears filling my eyes as I spoke.
"Just give a chance Zah."
"I can’t." I refused as a tear rolled down the side of my face.
"Please Zah, please." she pleaded as she gently held onto my palm.
"I can’t, I can’t," I said pulling my hand away from her grasp as I hastily rose from my chair and rushed to the exit of the cafe with my palm blocking my eyes so people wouldn’t see my tears. I wasn’t that girl anymore, I wasn’t that scared little girl who cried over every little thing that bothered her so why was this happening, I thought I felt nothing more than indifference towards her, so why was I reacting this way? My mind raced as I pushed open the door with my hands still covering my eyes causing to slam into soone and fall onto the floor.
"Ouch." I groaned as I stood back up and looked at the person I had run into only to see Micheal standing with his hands stretched to .
"Are you ok miss," he said politely.
"Micheal!" I exclaid, as he heard my voice his eyes widened with surprise.
"Dins, what are you doing here?" he asked, but I couldn’t answer, all that occupied my mind was what had just happened, I tried to look at it from his perspective, I was about to enter a cafe and soone who isn’t blind bumps into , I would have probably been a little upset and cursed them a bit but he didn’t, instead he offered to help up.
"Uhmmm," I said trying to focus on anything other than his blue eyes, for a brief mont I had been consud by him, I had forgotten all about my worries, about my mom and the only thing that mattered was him as he helped to my feet.
"Are you ok?" He asked again and I was snapped out of my thoughts.
"Yeah, I am," I said, pulling away from him and taking a step back, I turned my head back to the cafe and saw her still sitting there with her sorry eyes fixed on , following my line of sight Micheal saw her and for so reason unknown to , waved at her.
"Who is she?" he asked with a friendly smile as he turned back to .
"No one" I answered with a sharp tone and he imdiately got the ssage.
"Do you want a ride ho?"
"Yes but didn’t you co here to do sothing?"
"I did but it’s not as important as you getting ho," he answered.
"Are you sure?"
"Yeah, I am"
"Ohk then, thank you." I said with a warm smile, I turned back to look at her, she smiled at and was about to wave when I tore my eyes away and looked back at Micheal "Let’s go."
"Good," he said with a warm smile as I began to walk towards his car but he didn’t follow as curiosity glued his eyes on her.
"You coming!" I called out, snapping him away as he turned and followed to the car.
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