About Your Pride and My Prejudice Chapter 96:

I got up like the wind and sat down in front of the reading table. Then I took a breath for a while and opened the letter at once.

Even though there are often cases of loss of letters on the way, I didnt expect it would be my letter. As it was the first letter I wrote when I found out about the selection, I felt a new sense of emptiness, but Toby delivered a late congratulations in a simple and friendly way.

He knew from the beginning that I would make it, and hoped my life of studying abroad would shine like a star.

The life of writing in the principality, that longing aspiration, I held in my hands. However, the life of studying abroad, which shines like a star, has already beco so distant that it cannot be reached. Its sad that I dont resent that fact anymore.

The answer ca when I asked cautiously about the link between his accident and Alan Leopold.

Oh.

Alan obviously knew about Tobias when I hung out with him. He sent a warning letter telling not to go ho with Toby.

So apart from Alans fine talk sounding very subli and noble, Im not sure whether his help to Toby cos from pure good intentions.

But whatever the offer was, he did what I could never do. This is a clear fact.

To be hasty, I was busy hating Alan. I was so sure that all my misfortunes would have co from his evil plots. I couldnt really do anything for Toby. I can only sit still in front of the table right now.

If it was really ant to cause harm, there would be no need to help. Leopolds successor is not obligated to directly deal with the accident of a scholarship student.

It doesnt even make sense to say that it was an act conscious of reputation because he asked people around him to remain silent. In the first place, there would be no reputation to raise more than this.

Turns out hes an infinitely benevolent boss to his subordinates?

Whatever it is, the conclusion is one. That the rudeness Ive committed is so deep that it can never be undone. I was already the worst the mont I made those spiteful remarks

Whether it was a humane goodwill, a caring boss, or a reflection on the past, Alan helped Tobias in the best possible way. And to him, I.

If youre a human, you cant pretend you dont know. Because you completely trampled his life.

.

Youre no difference to a murderer.

Then I thought Alan was silent because he couldnt bear to explain. Leaving behind on the must have been an acknowledgnt of his own evil deeds.

Now I realize anew how gentlemanly his treatnt was when he left the seat without saying a word. Elegance without unnecessary fuss or anger. At the sa ti, even the complete contempt given was terribly gentlemanlike

So Alan may have just delayed his decision a little bit. Like a gentleman. As the owner of the cage Im trapped in, he can punish whenever he wants, in so form. For example, order a al to be prepared for only once a day

He could throw in that cold dungeon if he wanted to.

Its a painful mory to even recall. It seems that the dim dicine energy, the gloomy air adhering to the skin, and the darkness of the basent that shook like black waves seed to co back to life like a hallucination.

Yes, I fully understand that Alan Leopold was not the cause of the accident. I think I know now how he feels about not returning to the mansion for a while after the sumr night when we beca attentive to each other.

How much did he hate ? Ive been busy hurting him because Ive been trapped in prejudice. Maybe he didnt want to see anymore.

However, even after wandering for a long ti in this thought, I end up being surrounded by inevitable questions.

What kind of feeling did he hug with? Last goodbye?

Maybe he decided that never to co back after all that kindness was the cruelest punishnt he could ever give ? Because all my passionate love was discovered that day.

Unfortunately, I couldnt think of a more plausible hypothesis. All the more so, considering how clever and brilliant Alan Leopold was.

Looking back, he seems to have always known how I felt pain and how I felt joyous. Its too easy for him to crush my heart, and to make my poor heart beat again.

Not knowing that, I was just looking for a silly reason. I wondered if I was bad or maybe I had disappointed him in so way.

It was all noisy inside. It was complex, embarrassing, distressing, guilty, grateful, but still hateful and lovely. The surging emotions collided and pressed down on my chest. It beca a little difficult to breathe. But I still hadnt read the full letter yet.

I took my wandering gaze around the empty vase back to the paper.