74-75: I’m ngng’s Face. He Doesn’t Want Anymore.
note: the emoji can an “reverse the aning of what I just said” on Weibo/WeChat
Chapter 74
@Peach: As non-local Fruit powder, I went to the north Hebei specially on trip to visit the legendary FRUIT base. Thinking, even if I couldn’t get in, I could take a picture outside the door and leave a ssage. Little did I think I’d unexpectedly ran into two people who looked a lot like the ones who said they were in long-distance separation @Lemon @Mangosteen, let’s identify them [picking nose]
[A picture of the true situation.jpg]
— @FanA: Blogger, this is your mistake, although the two n in the photo @Lemon @Mangosteen look exactly like them, the trustworthy anchor said they were in the middle of long-distance, that’s to say, different places. You just took a picture of passers-by who happen to look exactly like them, why are you sending out pictures of passers-by?
— @FanB: Blogger, this is your mistake, @Lemon @Mangosteen are pretending to be long-distance, they have to work so hard to pretend, why are you tearing them apart? Have you taken their intentions into account? You didn’t, you’re only thinking about yourself
— @FanC: Blogger, this is your mistake, @Lemon @Mangosteen for the sake of the million Galaxy single dogs, long distance on the surface, their actual hearts are constantly full of guilt and you’re tearing down their kindness, giving the single dogs a heavy blow, the Conservation Society won’t let this go
— @FanD: Blogger, this is your mistake, @Lemon @Mangosteen why did they show up at the FRUIT base at this ti? Obviously they want to make big news about Mang God signing with Fruit for the new season. They wanted to surprise a large majority of e-sports powder and you destroyed this surprise. The e-sports mass dia won’t forgive you
— @FanE: Blogger, this is your mistake, they’ve ntioned all the places where you’re at fault, I don’t know what else to say, anyway you’re just wrong
……
As soon as Ling ng returned to Shan Zhu’s household, he was warmly received by Mama Shan:
“Are you all back? Have you eaten? Xiao Ling, you just ca back to north Hebei, do you have a place to stay the night?”
Ling ng’s smile was a little awkward so Shan Zhu interrupted her: “Ma, I told him all about it.”
“No need to do it, ah?” Mama Shan instantly cut into a housekeeping attitude, “I found ngng so bedding, the three of you go wash your hands and eat. Shan Zha, did you complete your sumr howork? You went out and played for another day, so you aren’t allowed to play gas today.”
Ling ng: ……
Ling ng ate back the 2 liang he had lost those past days. He rubbed his bulging belly and went into Shan Zhu’s room. Sure enough, he saw an extra set of pillows on the bed that hadn’t been there when he left.
“I think it’s a little awkward to sleep in your room as soon as I visit.”
“My household doesn’t have a guest bedroom. Or else you’ll have to squeeze in with Shan Zha.”
Ling ng suddenly felt it was better to sleep here embarrassingly than to squeeze into bed with a rebellious child.
“Are you going to stream later? Wait until I find the cara’s blind spot. I won’t talk, as if I didn’t co back for the school term. Definitely must not slap our own faces.”
Shan Zhu brushed Weibo: “I fear they’ve already swollen into a pig’s head.”
Ling ng:???
Chapter 75
Shan Zhu hadn’t yet begun streaming and the number of people online in the broadcast room had already reached its peak. Everyone was holding out for a good show, waiting to see how the long distance anchor was going to confess.
As the millions of water friends were rubbing their hands like flies in expectation, Lemon Daddy brazenly appeared in the fra of Mang God’s broadcast room.
— The long distance anchor also dares to appear? Did Liang JingRu give you courage?
— Is this shot to show us if your face has swollen into a pig’s head?
— Don’t think we’ll forgive you because you’re being adorable, we can give gifts for you being adorable separately!
Ling ng’s response was also very reasonable, “Already ca out of the closet, yet still afraid to appear on cara?……for the other cat food, please go to my room to brush it….the face didn’t swell into a pig’s head; for my whole lifeti, it’s never going to swell into a pig’s head; after all, I’m just a small lemon. Even if it’s swollen, it can only beco a big mango.”
— (ngngFace) I’m ngng’s face, he doesn’t want anymore.
(t/n: literally face, figuratively reputation; slapped so hard he doesn’t want the painful face such a liar he’s giving up his reputation)
— (ngngDimples) He wouldn’t dare not want you. If he doesn’t want you, he couldn’t want .
— (ngngTigerTooth) If he doesn’t want you, I’ll give him a taste of the cold teeth without the lips.
— (ngngAppendix) Don’t be sad, you still have !
Shan Zhu opened the ga without addressing it. Behind him was the bed, where Ling ng was kneeling on the edge so that his elbow was on Shan Zhu’s shoulder and his chin was right above his head.
“I was going to return to school when the term started. If it weren’t for NILI Mang God’s illness, I wouldn’t have returned now.”
— WULI Mang God just had a cold, thank you, just a cold.
— I think you’re sick, late-stage love sickness.
— When I have a cold, my ma just makes drink more hot water.
“Hey, you all don’t understand, people who care about hitting a sneeze can also be really worried,” Ling ng pretended to be distressed and disgusted, shaking his head, “the Shan body limits your imagination.”
—????? Reported for personal attacks.
— Reported for personal attacks.
— In fact, everything about the long distance is a scam. Maybe there wasn’t any separation at all.
— Was carried back in Mang God’s luggage and tricked us by saying he just returned.
“I didn’t, I didn’t, don’t talk nonsense.”
— Lemon Dad denies it three tis.gif
— Expression Pack reservation.
— ngng’s new bedroom – even more capable of packing.
“It’s true, I just arrived today. If you don’t believe , you can ask Mang God!”
Shan Zhu pinched his throat and coughed, waving his hand again to signal that it wasn’t convenient for him to talk.
— Knowing that Mang God has a sore throat and can’t talk, but telling us to ask him, scheming Dad!
Ling ng:???
You’ve changed! You weren’t like this before! You had plenty to talk about when you flirted with in the broadcast room!
— What were you two doing at the FRUIT base today, a powder eting?
“Ah? Was there a powder eting today at FRUIT?”
— You were eting with your powder.
Ling ng responded after realizing they were talking about Xiang Jiao.
“…..don’t make a fuss. I went to find Xiang God to ask him to do a favor. What favor? It can’t be said.”
— Who was that zhengtai together with you two?
“Can I say this?” Ling ng tilted his head and asked; Shan Zhu nodded.
“The zhengtai is Mang God’s didi; don’t ntion his good looks, he has a very bad nature.”
— What the fuck? Mang God has another didi? Is the Mang family really so teeming with didi?
— Together with the Legend of Legends ii BUFF, is this the equally-famous Legend of the Galaxy didi BUFF?
— Mang God has ngng, VEGE doesn’t allow players to fall in love, so this old auntie’s ready to play and cultivate [smile]
“He’s only 14 years old, you all are completely crazy guys, pedophilia is shaful!”
— In that case, is the Electra Complex honorable?
— Mang God: Yes!
Ling ng:???
Speak of the devil and he shall appear. Maybe because of the day’s excitent, but Shan Zha had decided to study hard in addition to playing the ga. So, he ca to talk to his Ge about a problem. He knew it was Shan Zhu’s stream ti so he politely knocked on the door.
Ling ng opened the door, “A math problem? Since your Ge is live, I’ll teach you.”
Shan Zha was very skeptical: “Can you do it?”
“I am, in any case, also a student of Yanshan. If you mock , isn’t that mocking your Ge in disguise?”
Shan Zhu dubiously took him at his word: “Alright then……”
“A basket of lemons is divided up to three people, A, B, and C. A gets one-fifth of the lemons plus 5, B gets one-fourth of the lemons plus 7, and C gets half of the rest. One-eighth of the total number of lemons remain in the basket. Find how many lemons were in the basket in total originally.”
Ling ng was lying on the bed, reading the problem over and over again, frowning. He read it again.
“You can’t do this, can you?” Shan Zha asked him impatiently from the sidelines.
“Rest assured,” Ling ng moved away from the cara, “This problem can be solved by writing out a series of equations, let’s set up an X first…..”
The cara was blocked by Shan Zhu, so the people in the broadcast room couldn’t see the background view and could only hear the conversation between them.
— A basket of lemons to fail the lemon.
— The lemon calculates lemons, the lemon is sour (sick at heart), the lemon gives up.
— Mang God’s didi is a junior high school student, no doubt; I did this question a few days ago.
Ling ng had been solving for this X for a long ti and couldn’t find it. He complained angrily: “Is junior high school math so hard now?”
Shan Zha also didn’t hold back in ridiculing him: “Stupid ng, your X has seven digits behind the decimal point. Are you going to slice up the lemon?”
“Wait, wait, I’m not done yet.”
Shan Zhu couldn’t listen to this anymore and, no longer pretending to be dumb, said, “ngng, co play for , I’ll figure it out.”
“No way, I have to solve it.”
Shan Zhu knew his axel bearing had spooled up again and that he wasn’t going to give up without an answer. He handed the keyboard off to Shan Zha and went to help solve the problem himself.
Shan Zha took over from Shan Zhu’s position. The Cosmic God ranking tournant was going on, no one in these matches was a rookie. In the few monts it took for the handover, Shan Zhu’s forces were eaten up by a wave of units from the opposite side. Shan Zha, who was playing on his Ge’s behalf, went forth into battle while curling his lip in a rather disdainful manner.
The barrage inevitably brushed a small high tide wave:
— Mang God’s didi appeared in the fra! The cara is more clear and better than the photo!
— It looks like he’ll be a handso guy in a few years, the Mang Family gene is extraordinary!
— Didi, look at ! I’m just a hot old auntie to play with.
— If you knew your opponent had been replaced with a junior high schooler, you’d laugh.
— It’s just one round of ranking, Mang God can make a coback anyway if he loses.
……
Shan Zha completely ignored the barrage. After looking at his Ge’s tech tree, he quickly and easily reversed the defeat and the opponent’s base was blown up. In the final monts, he arrogantly comnted: “Can this level also reach cosmic god? Power leveling, let’s go.”
By the ti Shan Zhu solved the problem, there were question marks full of “ows” in the barrage.
— Is this a junior high schooler???
— Spinoff of The Strongest Primary Schooler (rebirth/cultivation novel): The Strongest Junior High Schooler
— This is fake, right? In fact, the keyboard and mouse are still in Mang God’s hands and didi just took a seat in front of the cara?
— That was as if I had seen a perfect mix of Lemon Dad’s poison tongue and Mang God’s skills.
— Daddy has a powerful poison tongue. Doesn’t have strength, just a poison tongue, he’s owed a beating.
— Suggesting Lemon Dad needs a spanking? Reported.
……
“Stupid Zha, co here, I figured it out,” Ling ng called out to him proudly.
Shan Zha traded places with Shan Zhu again and listened to the math teacher explain the 1D equation. Although it was clear in the end, it didn’t win over Shan Zha’s respect for the teacher.
“My Ge taught you that, didn’t he? How did you get into Yanshan, as a specialty student?”
“……” Ling ng puffed up his cheeks angrily, “Don’t you know I’m a non-local student, the entrance exam was a lot harder than your Ge’s!”
“So are you?”
Ling ng had to answer anti-climatically: “Okay, I’m actually a sports specialty student, but Yanshan is also very demanding on the specialty students’ course requirents.”
“You’re a sports specialty student? Yanshan is recruiting hula hoop athletes now?”
Ling ng: ……=_=#
“Shan Zha, don’t always bully your ngng-gege. He has a lot of powder.”
Ling ng had lot of support from the masses and a lot of guts too: “That’s right, are you going to beco the enemy of my global powder back-up?”
“Your powder? Isn’t it all black powder.” Shan Zha muttered.
“Says who, who says it’s all black powder? The broadcast room is not just my black powder minus 1!”
(t/n: he is the one, the broadcaster counts as one viewer)
— 22222222
— 33333333
— 66666666
Shan Zha was also astonished by this spectacular full screen (minus 1) barrage spam: “Stupid ng, your black powder are really gelivable?”
“Shut up!” Ling ng scolded him, then turned around and scolded the water friends, “Turning off the chat!”
— I checked ngng’s record and found out he played a match with a guy nad Hawthorn today, SOLO, and he lost three rounds. That guy’s not going to turn out to be Mang God’s didi, right?
Everyone was inspired by this, so they all ran to check Lemon’s record, finding it was true. Not only that, but a little later, Hawthorn also lost to Guava with a 0:3 record. That would explain why their party of three were at the FRUIT training base.
— Mang God took his didi to FRUIT today. Is it so difficult to join youth training?
— Is the youth training test being personally screened by Xiang God? Then I’m going to enroll too, 3:0, I can do that on my own!
— (Little Paddle) Stop dreaming, to be able to play against Banana himself SOLO can only be reached through the idol anchor’s back door.
[Announcent] Housekeeper Mangosteen has banned user Little Paddle for 24 hours.
— Little Paddle, how old are you?
— 24 hours, Mang God is really strict.
— This lesson teaches us not to ntion the words ** in front of Mang God.
— In particular, you can’t ntion it together with a certain B-initialed pro player. After all, the green mango is very sour.
“Does anyone else want to join them?” Shan Zhu asked somberly with a slightly hoarse voice.
— No, no, we didn’t say the words we weren’t supposed to say. OxO
— Reporting to Mang God, I’ve pulled this key and that key off the keyboard, please rest assured!
— Actually I have a bad cold, I can’t say anything but ‘cough cough’!
— Ah? When did Mang God’s cold recover? Wasn’t he not able to talk when the broadcast started?
Shan Zha added fuel to the fire: “Look at my Ge’s reputation, then look at yours.”
“Go back and do your howork please!!!”
—
Footnotes:
1. to slap one’s own face (打脸): slang, to be a hypocrite/behave in a way that contradicts your words, to have your words contradicted by the truth
2. swollen into a pig’s head (肿成猪头): swollen up really badly aka the cheeks have been slapped so much they’re swollen
3. Liang JingRu: famous Malaysian pop singer, also goes by Fish Leong, she wrote a song called Courage that won an online voting campaign to beco the motivational song for newbies in a reality tv singing competition
4. tiger’s tooth (虎牙): slang for the canine tooth (usually used to emphasis cuteness of the teeth peeking out over the lips/showing when soone smiles); without the lips, the teeth feel the cold (唇亡齿寒): idiom, figuratively refers to things that are intimately interdependent, also ans to share the sa fate as sothing
5. hitting a sneeze (打一个喷嚏): cos from a common saying; when you sneeze once, your love is unrequited and you get scolded, when you sneeze twice, you’re lovesick and soone’s missing you, when you sneeze three tis, you have a cold
6. zhengtai (正太): slang loan word from Japanese, cute pre-teen boy aka shota
7. to play and cultivate (玩养成): for an older partner to make soone emotionally and physically dependent on them and beco their lover; aka sugar daddy/mama grooming
8. Electra Complex (恋父): like Oedipus complex, for girls; basically daddy kink
9. power leveling (代练): paying soone to level up your account (common in gaming novels)
10. needs a spanking (欠揍): owed a beating (欠打) is used as a threat to naughty children to obey or get a spanking, so this is a joke based on the previous line in the barrage
11. gelivable (给力): Chinglish slang used by netizens, literally give strength/energy, can be sarcastic or sincere, adjective for sothing that can make you excited/gleeful/cheerful
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