And the fact that Yanarym wouldn't dare to look for another man because he is enough, he is all she needs.
Then, he ignored Hansel's gestures towards her. He ignored her easiness and bubbliness whenever the three of them were together. He ignored the signs that she might and Hansel might be… no, they can't be.
"Can you listen first-" Yanarym kneeled on the bed and moved towards him. Only that Spencer shoved her away. If she's gonna lie, that's the last thing he wanted to hear.
And Hansel, he knew Hansel was interested with Yanarym- but how could he? He never tried to steal anything from him. But, what is it about now? Why Yanarym? Not Yanarym. He had said it before but Yanarym is the only woman he won't share with Hansel.
"No! I know what I saw! You're not allowed to see Hansel anymore!" Spencer exclaid. He saw how her expression changed, Spencer felt anxious, she reacted…
"What? Babe, we're literally going to the sa university with Hansel. You are not making any sense." Yanarym uttered most casually.
Spencer sneered, "Sense? Do you want sense? I saw my girlfriend kissed by my friend, you want sense in that?!" He shouted at her. She shook her head to disagree with him. Spencer paused.
"He did not kiss on my lips, what's the big deal about it?"
He knew where Hansel kissed her, he saw it. As if it was a slow-motion, he saw how she closed her eyes, and how Hansel was passionate with her. It's like they had their own world- and Spencer wasn't existing on it. He could feel his heart stung by insects. It's itchy- it's painfully itchy. But he couldn't scratch it, it was annoyingly itchy- to the point that his eyes were misty because he couldn't do anything to make it stop.
That kiss, make no big deal of it? No, that's his, he owns that spot, he could be the only person that could kiss her that way.
"Are you serious right now?" He asked into the air. He gasped and creased his brows, he was waiting for her to say anything to take back what she said but she was firm and resolute. She crawled towards him and held his hand, squeezing it to soothe his nerves. He thought that she understood, he thought that she would comply.
"I'm just saying, I can't avoid Hansel, he's your friend-" she softly murmured to him. He clenched his jaw and narrowed his eyes to her. "B-babe that h-hurts." She whimpered when he tightened his grip on her hand. He let her go, roughly, and she was thrown into the bed.
"YOU WILL AVOID HIM!" Spencer hysterically said, "You will follow what I tell you or else, or else. Damn! Don't push to do things I don't want to do, Rym!"
"Don't shout," She said, avoiding the topic, she wasn't submitting at all. "Let's talk calmly, please." Spencer laughed, humorlessly, he ran his fingers to his hair and looked at her in disbelief.
This isn't happening, she's not listening to him. Why isn't she listening?
"You like him..." he stated, unconsciously, he uttered looking at her. He blinked his eyes, seeing that she was not opposing his assertion. "You fucking do." He murmured and stepped back.
"Spencer." She tried to call his attention but Spencer felt that he turned deaf.
"You do… you're not saying no?" He stressed out the words and his tone was getting louder and louder.
"Spencer, please calm down."
"Why are you not saying no? You aren't you denying it!?" He scread and she didn't reply. No one was saying anything… and the silence was making Spencer crazy because it only confird his assumption.
"I like him." After a few minutes of silence, she slowly nodded, not even looking away from him.
"You -what?" He stuttered. She nodded her head again and bit her lips.
"You're right, I like him. More than a friend, I like him as a man." She said in a very low tone. He saw that she clenched her fist, and the tension built between them. Spencer- he was speechless. He couldn't utter a reply… "You can't be mad about that." She added which made him blinked again.
"What?"
"You can't be mad at about liking another man." She repeated much more clear in her intention.
"...do you hear yourself?" Spencer couldn't say anything at all. He couldn't comprehend anything from that mont she admitted her feelings for Hansel. It was too much for him.
"I don't have an affair with Hansel, I only like him." Yanarym clarified but that didn't make Spencer any happier. How could he be happy about it? She said she likes another man than him!
"Why are you saying that?" He asked, "Why are you doing this to ?" He was powerless, he felt like crying. Sohow, it feels like this is her punishnt for the ti he did so fool around.
"He's not stepping on any line too, we're friends." She said again, Spencer felt dumb too, he understands what she was saying but he couldn't understand it too.
"Friends?"
"Friends can kiss on cheeks and forehead too Spencer." This statent made Spencer co back to his senses. What does she an by that? That it's normal for her to get kissed by another man she likes?! That's not even possible. Friendship and romantic feelings can't be separated.
"You like him and your friends?! Great! Just fucking great! Should I be happy for you because of that?! Should I celebrate that you found a friend that you like as a man?! I'm your boyfriend, Rym!"
"Why are you so mad? I didn't cheat." She rebutted calmly. But her brows were furrowed as if she was irritated by his reaction. And now she's mad? She's the mad one?! And he has no right to be mad at her?
"Why can't I be mad?-" he was about to voice out his anger yet, he was cut off- again.
"I was not mad when you had sex with countless won, I am not mad after knowing that you were screwing with my only best friend, I never got mad at you when say that you love when you were not happy or contented with ." She mumbled, aggressively biting her lips. Her eyes beca red as if she was going to cry. Spencer looked at her, processing what she was saying.
He felt voiceless, he knew it- she was doing this for revenge. He wanted to succumb, he wanted to submit and end the fight. He just wanted to say that it's fine- he won't do it again, he will never cheat on her again. He's sorry and they have to be okay with it and get it over with. But he couldn't say it, his ego was getting in the way.
"So, that's it? Is this your payback? If I cheat on you, you will cheat back on too?!"
"I said I'm not cheating on you! And I will not cheat on you even if I like Hansel so much! Because I know how it hurts when my person … is cheating on ." Her tears began to fall from her eyes. Condemning him from his flaws. "Do you think I was having fun whenever you were outside and… d-doing things with another woman? Do you think I feel good that soone else was satisfying your needs?"
She grasped the sheets on the bed bowing her head. She was stuttering, having a hard ti saying what she wanted to say, Spencer wanted to refute, but his words were stuck on his throat. His heartfelt pain seeing her cry. What's happening with them? He thought they are starting to get better, so why? Why did it suddenly turn out like this?
"I'm your woman! But I can't even have the right to stop you from doing all that because… you make feel less, you make feel like I was not enough, I am nothing to you. You are asking why didn't I tell you not to do it?" Yanarym tattled, Spencer parted his lips, he had thoughts hebwanted to voice out but he turned voiceless.
"If you think that way, why didn't you tell to stop? If you were hurting, why didn't you tell ?"
"Why Spencer? Why do I have to tell you that you should stop? You know that I know what you do! Why are you waiting for to tell you not to do it?! Why don't you do it yourself! You choose to do that! And it's my fault for forgiving you?! For tolerating you?" Spencer was speechless. "Then fine! It's my fault! Because I am the woman who cannot love you right! Because I am the woman who can't take a hold of her man. Because I am the woman who's enduring all of that!" Spencer was utterly perplexed.
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