Ti: Year 515 of the Old Days.
Location: Steam Age.
Characters: You, Su Ming’an, Xiao Ying, Xiao An.
...
[Scene One]
You have been pursuing soone.
You have been observing him for a long ti, watching his tribulations and pain, witnessing his repeated deaths, seeing him struggle between retrospection, and weeping alone on abandoned tilines... You have a thought—if only at those tis, I were by his side, then that would be great.
You want to use your foresight to denounce those morally coercive players for him, help him avoid traps you already know, and let him have a smooth life where he can pass through challenges with one life.
You want to make him happy.
So, you have been searching for him. Only, you can’t rember his face, nor can you rember his na.
...
You passed by a church, where people were performing a play. It is said that hundreds of years ago, when the "Old Days" was still called the "Heavenly Era," the Evil God personally destroyed an era, and its cris were inexcusable.
An actor, wearing a mask symbolizing the Evil God, sang loudly: "I am the Evil God of the Su clan, for my selfish desires, I buried the Age of Immortals and Demons, slaughtered countless innocent civilians. Now I attempt to kill the Steam Age again. Only when the new god awakes can we be saved..."
The lyrics were jarring, igniting your anger. You don’t know who the Old God of the Su clan is, nor who the new god is, but you know... your subconscious strongly dislikes these lyrics.
"Stop! Stop!" You rush to the stage: "Everything you’re singing is wrong! This isn’t the truth at all, you’re distorting black and white!"
People looked at you in shock. An old man frowned and said, "Then tell us, what is the truth?"
You were stunned, your mind blank, unable to recall anything about the Old God, instinctively speaking just now.
"Anyway... anyway, you are wronging a good god." You could only murmur.
They all shook their heads, sighing: "The Evil God has bewitched another girl, look how obsessed she’s beco..."
You were pushed away, and the Lighthouse wooden token in your arms fell and broke into two. You felt sad... he had given it to you personally.
... Huh? He?
Who is he?
...
You passed by an art shop and, on a whim, began to learn painting.
You tried to paint the person in your heart, but your mind was blank. You wanted to dip the ink and write down his na, but all that remained was silent water stains.
... Who am I really searching for?
You bid farewell to this city, lingering in different kingdoms, constantly enriching yourself. Along the way, your reputation grew. People all said, under the sky, there was a "Painting Immortal," and even a fortune couldn’t buy one of their works.
But you never managed to find him.
...
You have traveled to almost every corner of the world.
The flas of war spread across the land, the battle of faith between the Old God of the Su clan and the new god broke out, yet you still couldn’t find the person.
You felt increasingly tired, so you found a small village by the sea, settled down, and no longer traveled.
You adopted a baby, watching him stumble and grow. Since you began to reside there permanently, to avoid being ostracized, you no longer maintained your youth, allowing your body to age.
...
You began to dream frequently, always feeling an emptiness inside.
"Auntie, your legs aren’t good, where are you going?" The child you adopted, Qin Ying, hurriedly ca over, stopping you from rushing into the sea.
You stared at the sea, fantasizing about sothing.
... Could there be soone who would suddenly appear, stepping on a chanical wheel, like a hero.
"Auntie, what are you looking at?" Qin Ying squatted down, looking at the colorful candies in your hand. He thought you were an elderly person with Alzheir’s, as so of your behaviors were indeed inexplicable.
You looked at the candy wrappers in your palm.
Lemon candy, strawberry candy, pineapple candy were all delicious. But why was there one candy with writing you couldn’t understand on it?
"Made in Italy..."
Strange, why could you read this completely unfamiliar writing? As if it had always been buried in your mind.
Who gave you this candy?
"Stars..." You looked up, the entire sky was a brilliant river of stars.
It seed like you once made a promise with soone. Like soone once held your hand, and you looked at the sky together.
... Fuyuan Festival, the stars in the sky are the eyes of the deceased, they light up the path ahead for us.
Who said this...?
——"You are the heroine on stage, I won’t forget you."
Who is it?
...
"Su Ming’an——!" You woke up with a start in the middle of the night, for so reason, this na ca out of your mouth instinctively. You grabbed a paintbrush and hurriedly wrote down this na.
Ink spread, and you stared at this na for a long ti, yet your mind remained blank.
[Su Ming’an]
Qin Ying heard the commotion and opened the door, seeing the na on your drawing paper.
"That’s the na of the Evil God, why would auntie write it down? Hurry and throw it away!" Qin Ying hurriedly tried to snatch it away from you.
"Su Ming’an... Su Ming’an..." You muttered the na repeatedly, tears wetting the portrait.
...
One day, you fainted from exhaustion.
When you woke up again, in front of you was a clean and tidy room. A young man with long black hair sat by the table. Light from the window fell into his eyes, radiating a cold and pure light.
You sat up from the bed.
"You fainted by the sea, I happened to pass by and saved you. Your soul is thin, probably because you awoke prematurely from the sea. This is not trivial, for safety, you should stay with to recuperate." The young man with black hair looked at you: "I’ll call the doctor."
For so reason, even though you didn’t know him, you felt especially serene inside.
"Please... don’t leave," you said.
He turned back to look at you, his gaze gentle.
"Who are you? May I know your na?" you asked.
"As you see," he said, "I am the Evil God, Xiao Bai."
"No... you’re not an Evil God, nor is your na Xiao Bai," you retorted instinctively, feeling this was wrong. "Have we t before? Otherwise, you wouldn’t have saved a stranger."
He sighed: "Don’t overthink it, just enjoy your vacation."
His soft palm patted your shoulder, but you grabbed his sleeve:
"... If it concerns the world’s responsibility, don’t hide it from . Even if the price is... my life, it doesn’t matter. Please don’t erase my mories of you."
He smiled faintly, his voice indifferent: "You’re overthinking it, there’s no world responsibility. Just rest well. We haven’t t before."
... We haven’t t before?
No, no.
A spark of inspiration flashed in your mind, you spoke quickly:
"Is this really our first eting? Could these possibilities exist: first, have we t in another form? Second, is there an Ouroboros of causality between us? Third, have I returned to the past from the future? Fourth, am I your cloning..."
Facing your rapid line of questions, the young man chuckled silently.
He shook his head: "This is indeed our first eting. I am rely..."
His brows lowered slightly:
"... just the Evil God, Xiao Bai."
...
"I am just... an ordinary orphan girl from a remote village." The girl said softly.
...
"How is your recovery today? Get plenty of rest, sleep more." He ca to your room again, looked at the doctor’s report, and brought you so sweets and candies.
You don’t know why he is so kind to you, obviously, you are just strangers. But you always feel... there’s a sadness in his eyes when he looks at you, like a desolate wilderness.
As if he hopes you would rember, but also hopes you would not.
"What’s your na?" As he was about to leave, you once again held onto his sleeve.
"You asked yesterday. My na is Su Xiaobai." He thought for a mont: "No, my na is Su Ming’an."
"Su Ming’an..." You repeatedly whispered this na.
But after a while, the na once again vanished from your mind.
"What’s your na?" You once again held onto his sleeve.
"Su Ming’an." He patiently repeated it.
"Su Ming’an..." You kept repeating the na.
The next mont, the na once again disappeared from your mind. As if triggered by so mory erasing chanism.
He hadn’t taken many steps before being pulled back by you for the third ti.
"What’s your na?" You almost ripped his sleeve.
He stared at you blankly, gently lifted your hand, and wrote his na in your palm.
Su
Ming
An
The tickling trace quickly disappeared.
You forgot his na once more, but it doesn’t matter, tomorrow, the day after... every day, he will co to check on your soul’s recovery, like taking care of a family mber. He seems to treasure your existence... as if he has already lost too many people like you.
Every day you would ask for his na, and he would patiently answer you. But just as it ca out, you forgot it.
...
"What’s your na?" Seeing the girl ready to leave, Su Ming’an called out.
Just as the girl spoke the na, her na was inexplicably silenced.
...
Su, Ming, An.
Every day, he would lift your hand and write down his na.
...
"Could you write down your na?" Su Ming’an could only ask the girl to write down her na, and the girl agreed.
But when she engraved the na on the wall, the letters imdiately beca blurry.
...
"Every ti I just say my na... you forget it." The young man slowly let go of your hand: "...That’s fine too. You can call Su Xiaobai, no need to insist on my real na."
You said: "Su Xiaobai doesn’t sound nice."
The young man said: "Then what do you think?"
You said: "Call you Su Xiaomo."
The young man smiled: "Alright, either works."
...
"You can use this flower to address ." The girl took out a small purple and white flower.
"This is a morning glory." Su Ming’an said.
"It doesn’t sound good." The girl frowned.
"Then let’s call it... Chao Yan."
...
"Why are you so good to ?" You always ask him.
"No reason." He looks at you with a familiar yet silent gaze, making you feel that he is always sad.
"You’ve been taking care of for so long, thank you so much... I have nothing to repay you with, this era is beyond redemption, I could end it for you." You looked at the war outside the window. His weariness grew more severe, this era was on the brink of destruction, not knowing what he was holding on to.
"No need, just rest well." He shook his head. Always carrying the burden himself.
"I’ve... caused you a lot of trouble, haven’t I?" You said.
"...No." He lowered his eyes, seeming to speak sincerely:
"I’m very glad... to have t you."
He looked at you, as if saying.
Take good care of yourself.
Everything will get better.
Leave everything to .
...
In the last year, your mory began to recover, you gradually rembered many things. The conflict between you and him began to surface, even intensifying.
After pushing away the doctor, you jumped off the bed, shouting: "Su Ming’an! Why won’t you let bear the emotions! General Qin can sacrifice, why can’t you let be this Life Hard Drive? How long do you want to foolishly bear it alone?"
This was the first ti you were so angry. You once taught him the way of the Savior and repeatedly said it’s impossible to have it both ways, but he didn’t listen at all.
He looked at you once again with that silent gaze, making you realize he seed about to break.
"...If you do that, you will die." He said.
He showed a faint smile, which wasn’t genuine, but made people feel he had exhausted all his strength.
"I don’t want you to die. So I can only erase your mories. Once you rember, you would certainly find a way to rush toward the cliff. I don’t want... to see a new na on the ring again. Forgive my selfishness, Chao Yan, just this once... forgive my selfishness."
"So many emotions, you won’t be able to bear it." You said lowly.
"I have to try, I want to try to change sothing, save sothing." He reached out his hand, intending to erase your mory once more.
You shook off his hand and rushed out.
Chang Feng blew through your black hair, you didn’t know if he followed, you stealthily glanced back.
He was right behind you, a few steps away, following neither too fast nor too slow.
"Don’t follow , let be quiet!" You felt an indescribable swelling in your heart.
He surely can’t bear it, he will die. But if you bear it for him, then you will die. To confront High Dinsions with a human body, it’s already a small sacrifice, you should feel lucky. But...
—Which is better, present happiness or long-lasting peace?
—Which weighs heavier, the life of a single person or the civilization of humanity?
You ran forward with all your might, the wind biting your cheeks. You weren’t even wearing shoes, and the stones cut your toes, leaving a trail of blood.
Looking back, he was still at a short distance, neither catching up nor falling behind.
"Don’t follow !" You shouted, continuing to run.
You ran and looked back repeatedly. When snowflakes fell on your shoulders, you looked back once more—this ti, there was finally no one behind you.
Had he finally run out of patience?
You breathed a sigh of relief. It was good, he had given up on you. You needed to hurry to find the Deity and then figure out how to bear the emotions for him...
"Chao Yan."
A faint voice ca from beside you.
Your body stiffened, slowly turning your head. He was standing right next to you.
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