He knows this matter is very dangerous.
He has experienced the feeling of becoming a god twice, once at Qiongdi as Bai Shen, and once a thousand years later as the Old God. The forr nearly made him lose his player identity, the latter nearly made him lose himself.
Just like deities before becoming gods, perhaps they once experienced joy, anger, sorrow, and happiness, but after becoming deities, they beca emotionless, desire-less machines of civilization.
— God can change everything, the cost is "self".
Flas danced before his eyes, he walked through the fire expressionlessly, the blaze crackling on his skin.
chanically moving forward, turning over ruins, holding cold corpses. He brushed away Lv Shu’s white hair from his forehead, the pale green eyes tightly shut, no matter how he called, they would not wake.
He hung his head, pressing his fist against his throat to suppress his trembling.
"I know, you’re already tired." An indistinct voice echoes by his ear, sounding both unfamiliar and familiar:
"Teammates are your support, they shouldn’t be your burden. You’ve already sacrificed so much for Yuanyuan in the Ninth World. She herself said — don’t repeatedly rescue her, right? In the Huo Muli’er Nation, you pinky swore with her."
"Su Ming’an, you promised her... don’t look back to save those who can’t be saved."
"You’re tired, so you ran away, it’s okay."
He doesn’t know where this voice cos from.
The flas before him twist, and he sees a beautiful stage.
The lights rise, another "self" is gracefully dancing, with a puppet thread hanging from its neck.
"Self" dressed in a black tailcoat, as polite as a British gentleman, steps in waltz dance steps, dance partners are puppets with black hair and black eyes, white hair and green eyes, blond hair and blue eyes... "Self" embraces these puppets, dancing with them.
This is a dance in the fire.
He appreciates this dance scene, slling the scorched at aroma from his own body.
Swirling steps, moving steps, turning steps.
A scarlet butterfly rests on his eyelash.
Another voice soon rings out:
"But then, you’ll be alone in the world. No ties, no anchors, no companions. You’ll beco a terrible monster."
"In the future everyone you et will remind you of the original them. It’s an irreplaceable pain and an indelible shadow. Your relationship with others can no longer be... so pure."
"No one will unhesitatingly die for you anymore."
"No one will play gas with you anymore."
"And no one will make travel promises with you anymore."
Su Ming’an’s eyes are filled with blood threads.
He can’t see the explosion in front of him, can’t see the firelight splashing everywhere, can’t see the mockery in Dieying’s eyes...
Can only see the stage, a puppet spinning in place, stepping dance steps, the black tailcoat swaying, like a black swallow bringing spring.
Countless threads pulling him, he falls, rises again, falls, rises again, sinking and floating.
A voice from the left ear laughs, "What does it matter? He’s the Number One Player, countless people are willing to play gas with him, and at least thousands are willing to die for him."
Another voice argues, "But then, he’s truly becoming a god. If Yuanyuan and Lv Shu are gone, who will accompany him on his 20th birthday?"
"Then, choose. Just use Chao Yan’s Life Authority to save one person, and then use Puppet Threads to save another person. Three out of two will do."
"No... three out of two ans the one left behind..."
"Noel surely needs to be chosen, if his Points are cleared, the human Points progress bar will be dire."
"...No."
"Among the remaining, will you choose Lv Shu or Yuanyuan?"
"...No."
"Fine, then seven out of six. Choose Lv Shu, Noel, Yuanyuan, Chao Yan, even Lu ng and Li Yuxuan! These are six, they all need to live. It’s truly a perfect ending."
"Seven out of six, then... who’s the one to be abandoned?"
"You don’t know?"
"...Ah?"
"Don’t you know in your heart?"
"..."
"Who else could it be? Apart from these six, who else remains on stage?"
"..."
"It’s you, Su Ming’an."
Su Ming’an stopped the threads in his hands.
He blinked blankly, only realizing his mouth was open, dry and cold as if he had spoken much.
...Where do these two voices co from? He seems to understand.
If Su Rin were here, she’d surely be shocked. His soul is now in tatters, like a leaking bag. In any case, it’s not a pretty sight. His soul is torn to the point it’s unrecognizable even to himself.
However, a decision has already been made in his heart.
He placed down the three "puppets" in his hand and retracted again.
This ti, he didn’t rush to pull the Puppet Threads, but rather quietly watched the explosion of the Old Divine Palace. Then he descended to the ground and walked towards the church.
Every ti, through stained glass, he could see Li Mingyue not far away inside the Holy City church. Li Mingyue always watching his backtrack, quietly standing behind the glass.
The fierce wind ruffled his hair, but his steps beca steadier.
He stepped into the church, Li Mingyue also looked at him.
"I want to beco a god," Su Ming’an said.
The voice calm, yet it terrified the priests and bishops.
"You know the procedure, Godfather, help ," Su Ming’an said.
Li Mingyue let out a light syllable, seemingly in a sigh.
"...Is it worthwhile?" Li Mingyue’s gaze drops, trembling for a long ti, before returning to him.
"Actually, it’s also good for myself. If I beco a god, my Combat Power will certainly increase a lot, even if I leave this instance, and I’m no longer a god..." Su Ming’an said softly.
"The self of a god will be exchanged for the cost of power," Li Mingyue said.
Su Ming’an was stunned.
Though he had ntally prepared, he didn’t expect the cost of becoming a god to really be... "self".
But it’s only "self", no other costs.
So simple, yet so difficult.
For a mont, several images flashed through his mind —the cold gaze of deities like frost, the stable pattern of The World of Old Days after the World Ga ends, the sorrowful looks of the billions erased before...
Yun Shang City overlooking sinful deities, Qiongdi eradicating pollution deities, City of asurent inspecting persona deities, The World of Old Days collecting emotion deities.
Every massive and systematic world, every complex yet distinct power system... but all have one commonality.
"God".
— Humanity needs "gods".
"Gods" are the hands of civilization’s stability.
None of the humans submit to each other, even before Zhai Xing fell into the World Ga, many kingdoms were still endlessly at war... Human infighting is endless, spanning five thousand years and into the present.
They... maybe really need a cold, impartial... "God". This God must not be cruel or selfish, but rather peaceful and kind.
Thinking of this, soone is quite suitable.
"...During the Ruined World, I once thought, I... am not a Perfect Pass machine." Su Ming’an lowered his head, and no one could see the color in his eyes: "Recently, I have seen many people, many things... They seem to be shouting in unison, raising their hands, telling —"
He raised his head, concealing the hue in his eyes, and said expressionlessly:
"—Su Ming’an, you should beco a God."
"We need you. Other than you, it seems no one else is as suitable to beco a God."
"This is not a painful thing, many people wish for it but cannot obtain it. It’s just that ’self’ will montarily be lost. But I believe... with the deities, with them, ’I’ will return."
Listening to this, Li Mingyue realized Su Ming’an’s determination.
He deeply gazed at Su Ming’an, as if wanting to engrave this image in his eyes:
"...Ming’an. I once said, do not expose your likes and shortcomings, such as your favorite color, favorite people."
"Chao Yan also said, do not show your biased side, do not always think of pleasing both sides."
"Xiao Ying also said, a God should not think of sacrificing for humans."
"But it seems... you haven’t listened to any of them."
Su Ming’an wanted to say sothing, but Li Mingyue said:
"But I also said... you don’t have to do those things. You don’t have to listen to those... and that’s fine."
At this mont, it was the most profound realization for him... the difference between Su Ming’an and Su Wensheng.
He had walked through long tis. His strength was imnse, his watchfulness long, revered as an Immortal by people of every era.
But only these three children with the surna Su—Su Shaoqing, Su Wensheng, Su Ming’an—made him realize that humans are not rely living for survival, they can have ideals that are moving, like a vibrant naivete.
And from that mont, his gaze began to shift away from the Rule Book, towards the people in the Mortal World outside the book.
Suddenly realizing, wheat ears, moonlight, butterflies... they can also be beautiful enough to move one’s soul.
At eleven, Su Wensheng ca back from afar, walked into the church, standing almost in the sa position as Su Ming’an now. With youthful fervor, he still believed that the darkness of the world could be swept away by a spotlight, still believed that the decay and filth of regis could be cleansed. His face bore the sa resoluteness as Su Ming’an now.
"Wensheng, happy birthday."
"Mm! Look, this is the butterfly I caught for you... Ah, the butterfly escaped."
"...What is your birthday wish?"
"Godfather, I want to change this world, let those who bully Little Li be punished! Then I want Dao Ya City to lift the lockdown so that everyone can have a good life..."
"You can’t do it alone, it’s the deities who planned all this."
"I will try my best."
"Effort alone is not enough, in this world many things cannot be accomplished by effort alone."
"—Then I will beco the new Deity, alright? As long as I am the new Deity, everyone can be protected by , no one will get hurt again, no one will be sad again."
"Why do you think that way?"
"Because humans always have things they can’t do, so beco a God. They need , and I’m willing to protect them, so leave it to ."
"...You don’t have to be like... forget it."
"Hm?"
"I’m sorry."
"Why did you suddenly say sorry?"
"..."
"Godfather, everyone always says, you are an amazing person, just like an Immortal. You value so much, I will definitely be an amazing person in the future too. So, no need to apologize. As long as the bad guys are punished... I’ll do anything. You can confidently teach , make a useful person."
"Sorry... sorry, Wensheng."
"...What are you even apologizing for..."
...
On their faces, there is a similar, childlike naivete. It is a kind of innocence that has not yet left the Ivory Tower... or even if it has already left the Ivory Tower, it remains untainted.
A voice in his heart asked him, if he had known this conclusion, would he have let Su Wensheng beco this God back then, instead of waiting for Su Ming’an.
But, he also responded to that voice:
No.
They are different.
One wanted to punish the wicked, actively wanted to beco a God, not caring about his own downfall, a kind of fierce destructiveness incomprehensible to himself.
One wanted to redeem friends, forced to beco a God, believing that his own downfall would result in greater consequences, retaining a youthful and rare idealistic innocence.
One belongs to the cold and chilling moonlight.
One belongs to the sunbeam warming the earth.
The blue full moon hangs high in the sky, he slowly closes his eyes, sighing as if eternally and still... watching over the ages.
If he had touched such bright eyes earlier, if he had been a little more naive, perhaps... he would have beco more idealistic, he would have prayed for the deities at all costs, even if the failure rate was higher, at least spare Su Wensheng.
He would hope... Su Ming’an and Su Wensheng coexist in the world. If they t, they would certainly be kindred spirits, not just a succession where only one lives, and one dies.
But, it’s already missed.
"Su Ming’an." Li Mingyue said:
"Draw your Sword of Destiny."
Su Ming’an sowhat puzzledly drew the sword, its golden-white blade shimred with Radiance.
Li Mingyue calmly lowered his head, placing both hands on the sword blade. He closed his eyes, as if making a long prayer.
Heaven grants Changping, the Earth bestows abundance.
He let out a breath, a long sigh—
I clasp my spiritual hands in prayer at the grand cathedral of the Holy City Luoweiya, wishing at this mont of civilization’s peril, for the blessing of light and love.
—Please, Gods, watch over such a child.
—Please, those distant, unattainable existences above the stars, those epheral, even unknown lives... watch over a child like Su Ming’an.
Look at these children, their ideals rarer than any gemstone, their love more dazzling than any Radiance, their will more tenacious than any tal. Please watch over them for peace, joy, and happiness.
They deserve all the world’s beauty... please let the pain of their forr life cease to continue.
I sincerely pray... please bless this child about to beco a god.
Holy be.
Holy be.
...
Cluster.
Accompanied by the sound of prayer.
Golden light particles began to float around.
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