Abigail pov contd.
The grip of his hands tightened on my hands and no matter how much I tried, I could not seem to get rid of it.
His eyes were looking at with so anger that I could not understand what happened.
I thought we had a conversation like good friends then where did this anger co from.
"Why are you doing this to ? Behaving as if you know since ages? And why do you care if I get success or not?" His tone and words did not sit well with as he was looking visibly angry.
"Since we are working together, We should be friends. What was so wrong with that?" I retorted back with the sa anger he was showing .
"Really? Then tell , why are you so stressed? Why do you keep pushing yourself so much? I have seen you practicing like crazies in the middle of the night or in the early morning even when your father had not started practicing.
Even when you take a break either you are reading politics or the art of war? Why are you in such a hurry to be a knight when you are just 16?"
His questions were affecting more than I had thought. I began to feel nauseated. I closed my eyes to try to turn away from his cold blue eyes.
'Don't tell him anything!' So cold voice deep inside ordered . 'Are you going to open your heart to him because of his comforting words? What if he thought that you were crazy or left you?
I was about to shake my head and deny his every word when he added.
"And about the crown prince? Why are you trying so hard to be his knight when you didn't even like him? If you would have been trying to win his heart or attempting for the seat of empress then i would have still understood you, but why is it so important to save his life when the whole empire knows that he have more enemies than friends.'' His voice was filled with concern as if he was worried that I was making wrong decisions in my life.
He was trying to help understand my problem rather than thinking that I was crazy!
'Can't you believe in Noah? Rember your vow that you would walk with people around you? Even if he knows that you're hiding sothing, he's asking you how to help instead of ignoring your problems. He even told you the truth behind the change in na! So could you not trust him and give him a chance?' said the sa voice again making torn between both choices.
I was breathing faster and faster as the old mories ca alive with each of his questions.
"And that man, the archduke of the empire. Why are you so scared to see him? Your whole body was trembling? Could you tell why you are so scared and how I can help you?"
"There.. There is nothing like that.." I tried to retort, but my voice was so feeble that I was not even able to hear it.
"Trust , Abigail. I'll take so of your burden off your chest. Tell what you are so afraid of. " His words were so comforting, so smoothing that I felt I could lean on him, and close my eyes without being afraid.
I'm scared. But if I keep hiding like this, I won't be able to escape forever. I hate to live like that. I don't want to be trapped in that mory and let it tornt my whole life.'
I took a big breath. Putting my hands on my heart that was beating so fast, I opened my mouth,
Well, I had a dream. It was a very long dream."
"Dream?"
"Yes. I loved soone a lot in my dream but he cheated and then killed and my family. It was all because the crown prince died. If he would not die and beca the emperor then my family would be safe too. So I promised myself I will do anything to keep him safe."
"Now, I am completely awake from that dream, but I can't erase my mories and feelings from that dream."
"… "
"I see. You must have had a nightmare. Don't worry too much. A dream is just a dream. It can never be a reality."
I just nodded at his lack of reaction and simply ignored my words.
"Now would you tell what I have asked?"
I looked at him confused, "but I just told you that."
He shook his head as if he could not believe , "if you don't want to tell , then it is your wish, but you do not need to tell lies. It is not like I am forcing you, I was just concerned about you." his words were filled with distrust. He did not believe a single word that I said.
"Trust , Noah, that is the truth, I am doing this to keep my family safe."
He shook his head and stood up ready to leave, and all I felt was his hollow words. I could not believe that I trusted him so easily.
I was so disappointed in him.
"It is not that I do not trust you, it is you who do not trust . I can not even understand why you are even trying to behave like a friend when you are not one. I did not want to talk to you, it is better that you leave."
"I will never ask you again. I won't ask you to tell about it. I was all wrong. So please don't desert . Please!"
As I trusted him, I showed him my hurt feelings, but he didn't understand.
I really couldn't stand it anymore.
"Can you leave now, Noah?"
"Abigail!"
I pulled my hand from him and turned my face away from him.
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