Chapter 122: Chapter One Hundred and Twelve The Most Precious
“I’m really sorry, Sister, for accidentally killing one person, I’ll send you ten more another day,” Liu Ziyue offered this as the only supplental explanation for his actions.
On the day of Moxiang’s death, Chu Yu stepped outside and noticed a little incense burner lying on the ground by the door. Recalling the sound of sothing falling as the door was pushed open, she realized that Moxiang had actually co to change the incense in the room but had lost his life within a few short exchanges.
Chu Yu didn’t know how she returned to Jiankang, or rather, she was so imrsed in her own world that she couldn’t bother with the people and things around her.
The only thing she rembered was Liu Ziyue’s careless words, as if he was saying, “Sorry, I broke one of your cups, I’ll send you ten more to make up for it another day.”
But cups are not the sa as each other, each one is unique in its own way. How could he, who regarded human life as nothing, understand that?
Chu Yu and Moxiang were not particularly close. Besides that ti when Moxiang attempted to seduce her in bed, they hardly spent any ti alone together. Her entire impression of him was rely his tender and pitiable appearance, and the composed and serene deanor he displayed after taking over Huan Yuan’s work.
...
The return journey did not ander, nor did it involve many stops along the way, and thus it was much quicker than the journey out. In not many days, they arrived in Jiankang, Liu Ziyue returned to the Imperial Palace, and Chu Yu to her own Princess Mansion.
Although things seed similar, the people were not the sa. As Chu Yu slowly stepped into the place she had left over a month ago, a phrase involuntarily ca to mind. So people were still around, but others would never be there again.
And when she saw Rong Zhi, she tensed up unconsciously.
As Chu Yu had ordered that the news of Moxiang’s death not be spread, Rong Zhi had also not received the ssage. He stood waiting at the doorway of her residence, smiling gently. His complexion was sowhat pale, indicating he might have been ill and weak, yet his deanor was still remarkably relaxed and at ease. “It’s been several days since I last saw the Princess, are you well?” he asked with a smile.
Chu Yu looked at him, her mind a blank. Moxiang had been cultivated by Rong Zhi himself, likely with much effort. How should she tell Rong Zhi that Moxiang was no more? That he had just happened to arrive at the doorway while Liu Ziyue was pouring out his heart and beco a spirit under Zong Yue’s sword?
Seeing Chu Yu’s silence, a hint of puzzlent showed on Rong Zhi’s face. Then he smiled, opened the door, and said, “I’ve forgotten that the Princess has returned from a long journey, surely you must be tired. Please co in and rest.”
Chu Yu followed his suggestion and entered the room, sitting woodenly in a chair. She watched as Rong Zhi poured the prepared hot tea into a cup and began slowly, “There’s sothing I need to tell you.” The news of Moxiang’s death had to be said, and she felt it should co from her.
It was her responsibility.
Rong Zhi, still smiling, placed the teacup on a black lacquered tray and brought it before her. “Please go ahead, Princess. Actually, I’ve been waiting here for the Princess because there’s sothing I want to ask for, no, there’s a favor I seek.”
eting his bright, snow-like gaze, Chu Yu felt her resolve begin to dissipate. She turned her eyes away and said in a low voice, “You go first.”
“Alright,” Rong Zhi didn’t hold back and placed the tray on the table, then sat down on the chair across from her, his body half-turned towards her, “This favor is on behalf of soone else. Do you still rember that girl nad Fendai? The frail-looking girl that was reassigned to work for you by your order?”
“Of course, I rember her. What about her?”
Rong Zhi lowered his head and smiled, “Actually, Moxiang had so affection for this girl, so on his behalf, I would like to ask the Princess for a favor, to grant Fendai to him.”
Upon hearing Moxiang’s na, Chu Yu’s face turned pale, and after a long pause, she began hesitantly, “Moxiang, Fendai? I never noticed any indication that…”
Rong Zhi smiled faintly, “In truth, it was only Moxiang’s own feelings; Fendai wasn’t aware of it. That’s why I made a special trip today to ask for the Princess’s permission on their behalf. Please grant their request.” His eyes and hair were of a pure, jet black, seemingly capable of absorbing all the light of ti, further accentuating his snow-like skin.
It felt as if an invisible hand had grasped her heart, stopping her breath and causing pain in her chest. Chu Yu gave a miserable smile, closed her eyes and said, “Rong Zhi, Moxiang is dead.”
She had thought many tis before about how to break the news of Moxiang’s death. Before revealing the critical information, she had considered how to lessen the impact of this event. But when it ca down to it, she still chose to express it in the simplest way possible.
Having finally spoken, the invisible hand that had grasped her heart dissipated into nothingness. Her heart, numb for so many days, finally felt sothing else. Complex emotions intertwined, assaulting her chest.
If in the past Moxiang had been nothing more than an unfamiliar image in her heart, accompanied by a faint scent, then now, several days after his death, he had beco fully fleshed out in her mind. He too was a living person, with soone he cherished, his own hopes, and desires.
But he was dead, and all of that was gone.
After a while, Chu Yu opened her eyes and said, “Rong Zhi, I’m sorry.”
She turned to look at Rong Zhi’s expression. He wasn’t particularly sad; his pure black eyes showed a faint surprise. After a mont, he spoke softly, “Princess, what exactly happened?”
Chu Yu slowly recounted the incident, omitting the part about why Liu Ziyue got angry. Her voice grew softer and softer until it was almost inaudible. Suddenly, she felt a cool, soft touch on her hand. Looking up in astonishnt, she saw Rong Zhi’s hand reaching across the table that separated them, resting on the back of her hand that was on the armrest. He stared at her calmly and said softly, “Princess, don’t bla yourself. This is not your fault.”
Chu Yu pressed her lips together as if hesitating, but in the end, she still voiced the thoughts in her heart, “No, I cannot forgive myself, not just for this reason.”
Rong Zhi felt the hand he covered tremble slightly, and then he heard Chu Yu’s voice tinged with pain, “I cannot forgive myself because, long after Moxiang’s death, when I ca back to my senses, my first thought was actually, ‘Thank goodness it wasn’t you, thank goodness it was Moxiang who ca. Thank goodness…'”
Rong Zhi looked up in shock. He clearly saw the girl in front of him biting her lip hard, her teeth almost sinking deep into her flesh. In her clear eyes, there was an unmistakable loathing for herself. Despite her pain and guilt, she was still bravely facing her own darkness, weakness, cowardice, and selfishness.
Chu Yu could not forgive herself for that instant. She could hardly believe that she could have such thoughts. Everyone was innocent; no one deserved death more than another. Yet, in that mont, she felt relief that it wasn’t Rong Zhi who died, but Moxiang.
How terrifying.
Rong Zhi continued to gaze at her quietly. He suddenly felt that Chu Yu had never been more beautiful than she was at that mont. Even though her attire was plain, she wore no makeup, and still bore traces of travel dust on her face and body, there really was no mont more beautiful than now.
Sickness and death are not the most terrifying. In a sense, a person’s greatest enemy is themselves. Not everyone has the courage to face their own flaws openly. Chu Yu’s candor was the source of her pain, as well as a precious form of bravery.
“Princess,” Rong Zhi stood up, walked over to Chu Yu, bent slightly forward, and lifted his hand to wrap around her shoulders, then slowly embraced her in his arms, “Princess, you’ve already been very, very good. Don’t bla yourself anymore. Your thoughts are nothing but the selfishness that everyone has, it’s unavoidable. You do care about Moxiang’s life and death, it’s just that…”
He paused, and even he didn’t realize that his gaze had beco extrely tender in an instant, as soft as the water in spring, the clarity in his eyes turning into rippling waves, expanding in circles: “It’s just that you care about more.”
Rong Zhi embraced Chu Yu, repeating softly, over and over again, “Please don’t bla yourself, this is not your fault.”
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