Chapter 475: Don’t be emotional 1
HAZEL
I sat rigid in the passenger seat, my hands clenched around my purse like it might try to escape if I loosened my grip. Inside, the aphrodisiac packet felt heavier than physics allowed. The weight of it pressed against my palm through the leather, a small thing carrying the full force of everything I’d set in motion.
Beside , Lysander drove without speaking. His jaw was locked tight enough that I could see the muscle jumping beneath his skin. His knuckles had gone pale where they gripped the steering wheel, bloodless and strained. The silence between us felt thick enough to choke on, broken only by the engine’s steady hum and the faint rush of air through the cracked windows.
In the back seat, Delta remained perfectly still. I caught her reflection in the side mirror occasionally. Her eyes tracked between Lysander and
with that perceptive awareness she’d always had, the kind that knew sothing was deeply wrong but chose not to intrude. She was good at that. Knowing when to stay quiet... Mostly.
Outside, the last traces of daylight had disappeared. Darkness pressed against the windows like sothing alive and watching, swallowing the road ahead until only the headlights existed.
Inside the car, my condition worsened by the minute.
Heat flooded my skin in waves that the air conditioning couldn’t touch. It left
flushed and restless, my face burning despite the cold air blasting from the vents. Sweat gathered at my temples and trailed down my spine in slow, maddening lines. My dress clung to my body as if it were shrinking, tightening around my ribs until breathing took effort.
I shifted in my seat. Then shifted again. Searching for so position, so angle that might offer relief.
Nothing ca.
Lysander’s scent only made it worse. Even with the windows cracked open, it filled every inch of the space. Sandalwood layered with sothing distinctly masculine and clean, sothing that settled deep in my lungs and refused to leave no matter how shallowly I breathed. I inhaled without aning to, my body betraying
as my thoughts began to blur at the edges.
I knew exactly what was happening.
The early signs of estrus were giving way to full heat. My body was slowly slipping into a state I despised. If anything, I’d co to resent my new Oga designation even more. What else could this be associated with if not weakness and loss of control? The very things I’d spent my entire life avoiding, now coded into my biology like a genetic betrayal.
I tried to fight it with sheer will. I reminded myself of who I was. Born Luna fucking Hazel Hughes. I catalogued the plan I’d carefully constructed, reviewed the necessity behind enduring this temporary hell.
But my body didn’t respond to logic or pride.
It reacted instinctively, dragging
further into sensation despite my resistance. Thoughts I didn’t want began to surface, uninvited and vivid. I noticed the way Lysander’s hands gripped the wheel again, steady and controlled, and my mind twisted the image into sothing else entirely. His fingers flexing. Those sa hands pressing against skin.
I bit down hard on the inside of my cheek until copper flooded my tongue.
The pain helped. Barely.
The cadence of his voice when he humd to himself lingered in my ears, reshaped into sothing commanding. Even the small movent of his hand shifting gears sent an unwanted reaction through , with heat pooling low in my stomach in a way that made
want to claw my own skin off.
I bit down harder. The blood ca faster now.
"Mistress Hazel."
Delta’s voice cut through the haze. Soft and careful, the way people spoke when approaching wounded animals.
I didn’t turn around. But she stood from where she at and leaned towards my ear.
"The suppressants," she continued gently. "You should take them. Before this gets worse."
The suggestion hung in the air between us, fragile and hopeful.
"No."
The word ca out sharper than I intended. I swallowed and tried again, keeping my voice level.
"I can’t. Not now."
"Mistress Hazel—"
"I said no."
I couldn’t take them. Not when everything depended on
reaching the peak of this condition. I needed the illusion to be convincing, needed Wenzel to believe that what happened later was nothing but uncontrollable instinct. A tragic accident of biology and proximity.
The decision was final, even as it cost .
Delta fell silent and sat back down. I could feel her worry radiating from the back seat like heat from a furnace, but she didn’t push. She understood better than to waste her breath when my mind was made up.
The drive stretched on. Each minute felt longer than the last, ti distorting under the weight of my worsening state. Lysander’s scent grew thicker. Or maybe my sensitivity to it increased. Either way, breathing beca a conscious effort, each inhale bringing more of him into my lungs until I couldn’t tell where the air ended and he began.
My hands trembled against my purse. I pressed them down harder, trying to still the shaking through pressure alone.
It didn’t work.
By the ti the estate gates appeared through the windshield, the tension in the car had sharpened into sothing almost unbearable. Lysander glanced at the dashboard clock, his expression tight.
"Made it back with ti to spare." His voice carried an edge I couldn’t quite identify. Relief, maybe. Or sothing closer to disappointnt.
I didn’t have the clarity to dwell on it.
The car rolled to a stop near the main entrance. Getting out required more effort than I was willing to show. My legs trembled beneath
when I stood, threatening to buckle. I gripped the door fra briefly, steadying myself before stepping out into the night.
The cool air should have helped.
It didn’t.
Instead, it heightened my awareness of the heat burning through my body, making every sensation sharper and more imdiate. The fabric of my dress against my skin felt like sandpaper. The breeze carried scents from across the estate, and my body reacted to each one with devastating need.
From sowhere in the darkness, sounds drifted through the night. Low and primal, accompanied by scents that made my knees weak. There was a goddamn orgy it seed not too far from the fields. It was a given. Wolves giving in to instinct, claiming and being claid under the cover of darkness. Since Ogas and most sentinels would not have places to go.
Another wave crashed over
before I could brace against it.
I stumbled. Delta caught my elbow imdiately, her grip firm and grounding.
"I’ve got you," she murmured.
Lysander appeared on my other side. His presence made everything worse. That scent surrounded
now, inescapable and overwhelming. I wanted to lean into him. I wanted to run. I wanted things I couldn’t afford to want.
"Do you need help—" he started. He did not look like he particularly cared. But it was starting to be clear that sothing was up.
"No." I pulled away from both of them, forcing my spine straight despite the effort it cost. "I’m fine."
His eyes narrowed. He didn’t believe , but he also didn’t argue.
"Well, I have other obligations," The words ca out clipped and formal. "that require my presence elsewhere. So enjoy heat season I guess."
He left almost imdiately after that. The car disappeared down the drive without a backward glance, taillights swallowed by darkness.
Good riddance.
Delta’s hand settled on my lower back, supportive without being obvious.
"Let’s get you inside."
The walk to the house felt longer than it should have. Each step required deliberate effort, as my legs were unsteady beneath . The sounds from across the estate grew louder, or maybe my hearing sharpened. Either way, I could make out individual voices now. Growls and moans and other noises that made my body respond in ways I couldn’t control.
We reached the main entrance. Light spilled through the windows, warm and inviting.
I straightened despite the effort it cost , forcing a semblance of control as I announced to Delta that I intended to just retire to my room until it was ti.
The hallway stretched ahead, longer than I rembered. Sounds seeped faintly through the walls, a constant reminder of what was unfolding across the estate. My skin felt too tight. My dress had beco torture, clinging and constricting until every breath was a battle.
By the ti we reached my room, my composure was hanging by a thread.
Delta helped
inside and shut the door behind us. The space briefly felt like a refuge. Silence replaced the distant sounds of the heat event, thick and complete.
The mont the lock clicked into place, I stopped pretending to have any strength left.
I collapsed onto the bed. The strain of holding myself together finally broke, leaving
gasping against the covers. My whole body shook with the effort of controlling what couldn’t be controlled.
"Mistress Hazel." Delta’s voice ca from sowhere above . "Perhaps I should stay and help you. Your state seems to be deterioting. It is your first heat as an Oga. Perhaps that is why you are this way."
"No."
I pushed myself up on trembling arms, forcing my gaze to focus on her face.
"You need to go."
"I’m not leaving you like this—"
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