Theseus Life Is Short

I was as familiar with Ray’s quarters as anywhere else on the ship. The massive woman had had two compartnts combined together to accommodate her size, and within was a fairly rustic affair that made it pretty obvious she was an Earth native. Wooden furniture, tightly woven natural fabrics made into floor tiles rather than the bare tal floor or carpet that the others opted for in their rooms, and a well-worn large mattress dominating one corner of the room, placed right on the floor rather than a bed fra.

Physically walking in always felt comforting sohow. There was always the faint scent of incense clinging to the air and the walls, and there was just a certain warmth to the room that the rest of the ship lacked. Rural charm, I supposed, perhaps magnified by my apparently obvious attraction to the woman.

“Lily have you worried?” She asked as she sat down on the floor and pulled a small table from the edge of the room between us. “I saw you two talking for a mont. Wasn’t eavesdropping. Promise.”

“Yeah,” I nodded, sitting down cross-legged across from her at the table while she reached to her shelf and pulled a kettle and a box of tea leaves down to the table. “Ever s-since she had a vision the oth...er day, it’s like she’s been terrif-fied of . She can’t tell w-what it’s about, and she seems to th...think I hate her for it. Or for so...sothing she’s going to h-have to do to guide us toward a fu...ture she saw.”

“Sounds complicated.” She flicked a switch at the base of the kettle to let the water inside start heating up. “I’m sure she won’t do anything that won’t wind up being the best for you two, though. That girl loves you, you know.”

I nodded again. “I-I know. I trust her. I do. It j-just feels like she does...n’t trust the sa way. Like she’s still af...raid I’m going to l-leave her or sothing if sh-she sses this up.”

Ray leaned back on her arms for a mont, looking to be in thought.

For a few monts, I closed my eyes, distracted by the new flow of information trickling through my systems. I approved Joel’s device for relay access. Mouse was browsing through an engineering forum, no doubt doing his best to distract himself from the complicated emotions he was processing. Shaw was sending TONS of ssages all over the system, checking in on his various sources, checking rumor mills, and making anonymous queries regarding the upcoming conference, but he wasn’t trying to broadcast anything about what he knew about , so I wasn’t going to keep him from doing his business. Nobody was talking about our location or our plans for now, so we probably weren’t being watched any more closely than the average person using the network was yet.

“I don’t think there’s an easy solution to this, given you don’t know what the problem is,” Ray finally gave her thoughts, still leaning back as we waited for the water to boil.

“Yeah.” I opened my eyes and stared at the kettle, like that would make it heat faster. I wanted to be present for this conversation, not idling away at work. “I d-don’t know what I can do to rea...ssure her.”

Ray shrugged, sitting back up again. “Well, I think the best you can do... all you can do, really, is to just stay supportive. Spend so ti with her, if you can. Make her feel like nothing’s changed, that she’s got you to rely on, and that her powers won’t make you want to leave her.” As steam started to rise from the kettle, she held her claws against the side of the pot for a mont, then pulled a couple of mugs down from the shelf and pinched so tea into each. I watched her put a lot less into mine than hers. She knew with my sensory issues, I wasn’t looking for a strong drink. “Show her so stability. Give her more reasons to trust you. Little things, you know? I understand you’re going to be spending more ti not plugged into the ship, anyway, right? Maybe just spend what ti you can showing her that you care, in person.” She lifted the kettle and poured the water into each of our cups.

Maybe I did need to put a little more effort into making a connection with her. I felt like I was with her constantly since it was difficult for her to leave the ship, but she probably didn’t feel my presence the sa way. Face to face, I always tended to just spend extra ti with her on a whim rather than taking ti out of my day to do anything special with her. I would have to think on what we could do together, though. There wasn’t a lot to bring her out to do in the colony, but maybe we could explore a little while we talked, or go out to eat sowhere. “Is it th-that simple?” I asked, looking down into the leaves at the bottom of my mug, slowly seeping into the water. “She... could probably do with fee...ling a little more ‘normal’ I sup...suppose. I have to rem...ember that she hasn’t t-taken to her powers the w-way I took to becoming a ship. M-Maybe I should help her forget sh-she’s a psychic for a little b-bit.”

Ray nodded back. “That too. It’s probably all she has on her mind right now. Give her sothing simpler to focus on. Show her a good ti. Life is too short to get all wrapped up in over-complicated stuff like that. Engineering sches to control the future sounds... exhausting.”

“Yeah. It may s-seem like a lot of work, but being Thes...eus has a lot of simple pleasures to it. I like doing it as m...uch as possible.” I couldn’t help but grimace at how sad that probably sounded. “May...be a little more than is healthy. But Lily’s talent... it’s almost like it’s trying t-to hurt her sotis.”

Ray chuckled as she raised her mug to her lips, breathing the tea vapors in deep before she spoke, “Losing yourself in your ‘magic’. Maybe it’s a calling for you, where she’s been given a gift she sees as a curse. I wonder if she sees how smoothly you’ve taken to it, and feels obligated to try to imrse herself into her own art.” She took a small sip from her mug, closing her eyes and looking satisfied at the taste.

I picked up the mug, breathing in the vapors and taking a small sip. It was a little bitter, but in the way that invigorates you rather than disgusts. I let out a sigh, imdiately feeling tension leaving my shoulders. “She could be tr...trying to follow my exam...ple. She does keep saying that I’m so much s-stronger than her now. She used to ta...take care of before I lost my m...ory, and now I’m taking care of h-her. Not to ntion that she’s bound to her wheelchair now. Maybe she feels... w-weak.”

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Ray nodded, drinking more before she concluded, “So... you need to help her feel normal, that she’s safe with you, that you love her, and maybe show her she’s stronger than she thinks she is. Does that sound right?”

I nodded. “That all s-sounds easy until I have to fig...ure out exactly what I w-want to do to that end.” I sighed again, the tea helping relax a little despite my dilemma. I could let her know that her little visions have been helpful to avoid everyday pitfalls, and that when I failed to heed them, I tended to embarrass myself like I had with Joel earlier. That might make her feel like she’s doing sothing more than the obvious with her powers.

Other than that, I just had to put in so more effort into my relationship with her. Let her see that she’s special to with more than just words.

“Sothing else on your mind?” Ray asked. It was then that I realized that I’d just been staring directly into her over the lip of my mug while I was deep in thought about planning to hang out with Lily tomorrow.

“Uhh, buh, I-I’m just... thinking, th...at’s all,” I stamred out. It probably looked like I was ogling her chest, but I was honestly just distracted.

Ray humd quietly, taking another sip of her tea. “You should be taking better care of yourself too, you know?”

“Did Doc t-tell everyone about the food th-thing?” I groaned.

“Yep,” she smiled knowingly at . “But it’s been pretty obvious. I cook a lot of als you don’t attend, and I can see your ribcage.”

“I attend them,” I started, then hunched my shoulders again as I mumbled, “Elec...tronically.”

Ray set her mug down. “It’s more than physical health, too. I think you need more hobbies. Ones that don’t involve computers.”

I was about to object before she added the last sentence, then leaned over and grumbled into my tea, “Nothing wr-wrong with be...ing a nerd...”

She laughed. “No, no there isn’t. But you’re so obsessed with the ship, it’s worrying. Maybe you could stand to make sothing with your hands instead of your mind every once in a while. Since you’re coming out for als every day now, how about you give a hand with dinner? It’s satisfying, and I can teach you to cook. You can do more than hang off my arm, too,” she chuckled.

I could feel the heat off my face again. I tried to hide it in my tea once more, but my mug was running low. “Sounds fun...” I mumbled awkwardly. Then I rembered what Aisling had just told . Ray was waiting for to make a move on her. I was not assertive about these things. Even back in my simulated life, I rembered kind of just... hanging out at venues, waiting until soone more aggressive chatted up. I couldn’t rember any of them specifically because they weren’t real, but I rembered hooking up at least a couple tis like that.

But that wasn’t going to work here. This was soone I was actually attracted to, and she didn’t think she was good enough to be loved. She thought she was too much of a monster for soone to feel that way about her. I knew better than to judge soone because they’re abnormal, though.

I set my mug back down on the table, the last dregs of the tea sitting sadly at the bottom. I couldn’t bring myself to be the chatty imaginary won I had imaginary one-night stands with, but I could at least try to communicate my feelings. “I... Ray... do you...? Is there a ch-chance that you... want to do any...thing else t-together? Soti?”

She tilted her head, clearly uncertain what exactly I was asking. “Um... oh? Did you have sothing you wanted to do?”

Fuck, I didn’t think that far ahead. “Oh... you know, you’re just... you’re so n-nice and warm, and... you h-help sort through s-stuff like this a lot... a-and I’ve always just... you know... y-you’ve always helped , so I thought... m-maybe like... I dunno... a d-date soti?”

Ray blinked, clearly trying to process what I’d just said, both in the sense that I’d mumbled and stamred through so many different words that it was probably unintelligible, and because I’d finally sort of managed to confess that I had been harboring these feelings for her. “Date...?” She finally asked incredulously.

“Y-Yeah, like... maybe when w-we get back to Luna?” I proposed. “I an... s-since you can’t go out h-here. If... If you w-want to, that is?”

She kept staring at with a bewildered expression on her face for a little while, while I felt like I was shrinking, sohow getting smaller beneath her gaze. Had Aisling been mistaken? Was she judging her for making such a bold proposal? Finally, she broke the silence, “ryll... Are you... attracted to ?”

I gave a few quick nods, finally diverting my eyes to the table between us. “S-Sorry, I-” I felt the tip of her claw press gently up against my chin, directing my gaze back up to her to see a wide smile on her face.

“Don’t be sorry. It makes sense, I just didn’t think you would like that way. I was surprised.” She let go of my face and I kept looking up at her. “I’m just more used to people being... intimidated more than anything.”

“You’re pretty to ,” I spoke so quickly I wasn’t sure how I didn’t stumble into any of the words. I didn’t even register what I’d said until a mont later, and I felt embarrassed to admit it.

But it was Ray’s turn to blush, it seed. “Really...?” she asked, her smile turning down. “I know I’m kind of terrifying to look at, ryll.”

I shook my head. “I th-think you look... cozy. Com...fortable. You’re big, f-fuzzy, and strong...”

She let out a quiet breath and looked away from . “I’m barely human...”

“ too,” I added. That pulled her gaze back to , and I saw concern evaporate from her expression as she actually began to consider it.

We stared at each other, probably both of us uncertain what the other was thinking in that mont. I was relieved when I saw her face turn warm again. “So... a date then?”

I nodded, smiling cautiously back at her. We were actually doing this, weren’t we? It was still a bit of a distant prospect, but it was sothing.

She slowly stood up from her seat, holding her clawed hand down to to help up. “It sounds nice. I’ll look forward to it...”

I took her hand, still grinning up at her. I’d finally confessed what I’d spent months trying to suppress, and I felt like a massive burden had fallen off my back.

As I stood, though, her grip tightened up on my arm before I could turn to the door. “But... that’s maybe a month of two away, you know...” she said, guiding gently across the room until she sat down on the edge of her bed, now almost at eye level with . “And life is short.”

I was probably bright red by that point. She let go of my arm to give a chance to turn away, but there was no choice in the matter to . I stood there in front of her as she gave a sly grin and scooted over to make room. I nervously sat down next to her without a word, leaning into her warmth as her arm reached around and held close to her this ti.

It was ti to figure out those logistics I’d been wondering about earlier.