Rex
After our shower, I feel more relaxed than I have felt all week. I guess all the tension has been released between the three of us. for the first ti in my life, I am completely at peace. I don’t have a worry in my head. There is no fear, pain, just pure unfiltered happiness. I guess this is all thanks to Blue and Gyles. They have made feel a way that no one has ever been able to make feel.
We are supposed to head down to the kitchen but I am still terrified of Jules. Okay, maybe not terrified but he makes feel intimidated. Almost like I want validation from him. I know he has basically accepted us—I an, we are here, in his house. He is waiting for us before we eat.
"Hey,’’ Gyles walks up to . Blue already went down after getting ready. He said he would be back in a couple of minutes. My hands tremble as he takes them in his. There is a smile on his face. his eyes are sharp and calling. Suddenly the fear reduces. Yeah, he hasn’t completely washed it off but I am at ease "There is nothing to be worried about,’’ he tries to assure even though he is nervous too.
We are eting the only family that Blue has left. Our one encounter with his mother was the worst. She looked at us like we were filth. That mory will always be etched in my brain and maybe that is why I am scared that things are going to go south here too. I an, I have no good parental figure to look up to. Rick was the only one that was there for and he treated like a weak oga. Granted, that is what I was but at the end of it all. He felt more like a master than a father. Barely able to rember my own father, it is difficult for to know what having one feels like.
"What if he doesn’t like us?’’ I ask him, showing him all my fears at this mont. I don’t have anything to hide with Blue and Gyles. I want them to see like an open book, one that they can explore and relish in. I have nothing to hide from them and I know they feel the sa way as I do.
"You are not in love with Jules. The man that just left us is the only one that matters. His father is just an added bonus and you know he will always choose us. so, you don’t have anything to worry about.’’
His words are sincere and calming. They make feel completely better. I manage a smile even though my heart is pounding. The door opens and Blue walks in. he stops in front of the door and raises a brow in question "Are you guys conspiring against or sothing?’’ he laughs nervously. Scratching the back of his neck in the process.
"Your boyfriend is nervous,’’ Gyles lets go of softly and walks over to him, dragging him closer to .
"Oh, boyfriend? Is that what you are?’’ he asks with a playful smile. The conversation is light and easy. This is the kind of conversation I like. I want to throw away all the seriousness that ca with the past.
"I think so. I an, he is a boy,’’ Gyles mutters with a wink. I am in the middle again but this ti I am not speechless.
"I am not a friend though,’’ I interject and then cross my hands over my chest.
They both burst out in laughter. My eyes shift back and forth to their faces "So what do you want to be?’’ Gyles asks .
I shrug "Anything but a boyfriend."
"How about my partner?’’
I shake my head.
Blue rubs his chin, almost like he is deep in thought "Uh...my soulmate?’’
This ti, I and Gyles shake our heads in unison "That is too cheesy. I an, we get it. we are mates but do you have to spell it out like that?’’
I smile.
"Uh, I am the only one with the suggestions. Why don’t you think of sothing and we will see if it fits?’’ He finalizes in defeat.
"How about darling?’’ Gyles manages and I see the humor in his eyes. He is ssing around and I like every bit of this.
"Hell no." Blue shouts with a smile on his face.
"We don’t have all day; I an how hard could it be?’’ he turns to with a frown "You think of sothing. I don’t have a clue,’’ he huffs with a sigh and that just makes him look even more adorable.
I don’t believe in labels. I don’t believe in having to identify soone with a label. Boyfriend, husband...all those things shouldn’t matter. I an at the end of the day; we know who he is to us. we don’t have to explain to anyone what this is or how we even ca about. It should be known to us and us alone. A thought jumps up in my head and that brings a smile to my face.
"You are my people,’’ I breathe out. Suddenly, it seems like the room becos even quieter. I hear their hearts beat and the sounds make mine even dance faster. "I am your person, that is all that we need to say,’’ I add and it makes sense to . Blue’s smile widens and I can tell that he likes it.
I love it.
I will always be his and he will always be mine. just the sa way I will always be Gyles’s and he will always be mine.
"I love it,’’ Gyles is the first to speak up but my eyes remain on Blue because even though he is quiet right now, I am able to read him completely. I am able to understand how he is feeling right now and I feel the sa way.
Completely and irrevocably content.
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