(From Blue's Perspective)
The rash from Dion's body disappeared soon. I could sigh in relief once again. Although Doctor Dimitri said it was nothing to be worried about, I could not help it.
"He loves water for sure," Dem said when Dion started to giggle as the slightly warm water touched his head.
I was giving Dion a bath and Dem was watching. Both of us were kind of glued to our son, except for the ti when we did sothing that needed to be done when our son was not here and we were alone. We left him to Ruby and Luc, who gladly took care of him, and sotis, Luc did not want us to take Dion from the magic tower.
"I have not seen one thing Dion doesn't love," I said. "Maybe all newborns are like this. Ah, not all newborns. Flint used to say Dela never ever liked oil."
Dem's jaw twitched at the ntion of Flint. "What are you gonna do with him?"
"Let him rot in the cell."
"Do sothing about him, Blue. Don't be so rciful."
"I cannot be too cruel. I cannot change drastically overnight," I said. "I'm sorry, but this is who I am. I won't punish him too harshly, Dem. I can't."
"Let then."
"He is my prisoner. I will do what I want," I said, a little sternly. The change in my tone was not intended. It was automatic.
Dem eyed but did not argue anymore. Did I act too harshly?
My real identity, snake or human, or sothing in between, whatever that creature was, did not like to be commanded. It liked to command instead. It wanted to have the last word in everything.
Blue could follow and could try to lead. However, that strange creature and the dark mage Blue did not follow, only commanded. I was now stuck in between. I could feel my mind contradicting every decision I made, every single thing I thought of.
"Don't get upset," I mumbled after a while to break the eerie silence, other than the splash of water.
"I am not upset. I just get surprised sotis," he said.
How would he feel if he saw what I did during the war, how I acted? Would he get mortified?
He would still love , but I did not want to surprise him too much. I wanted to remain the Blue he knew. At least in his eyes, I did not want to look powerful.
After I was done bathing Dion, Dem wrapped him in a soft towel and took him to the bedroom to wipe him.
I took a look at myself in the basin mirror. I looked better rested than before. I could not work much these days, thanks to our excessive intimacy. Too much fatigue did not make restless to use my power. Rather, my mind could not even think much about it as my body needed a lot of rest. I still worked in my workshop, however, not more than three hours a day.
'Be who you are,' my subconsciousness called out to .
I felt sothing shift inside . I closed my eyes, feeling the power slowly spreading from my heart. It was stored there. All my power was stored in my heart, just like Azure. But we were still different.
My power made feel more alive. More and more. I could feel myself grasping for it. I wanted to hold it. Feel it. Be it.
Suddenly, a hand seized my arm. I jolted awake, as if from a dream, an illusion.
"Don't you want to take a bath too?" Dem asked. He did not look surprised. Rather, he looked the way he always did.
"Right now… I…," I mumbled.
"What?" he asked, tilting his head slightly in confusion.
"I don't know… I just felt…"
"You are just confused. Take more rest. Let yourself relax. Everything will be okay," he said, gently squeezing my shoulders. Read new chapters at My Virtual Library Empire
"Yeah… I guess you are right," I murmured, but I still almost could feel it. However, the real feeling was long gone. "Dion? Where is Dion?"
"He is in his crib," Dem said.
"I cannot take a bath when Dion is alone."
"I will be there. Just go."
A part of , a very small part of did not want to be alone even for a mont. That part of feared the feeling, even though most parts of embraced it. That small part was the Blue I had been. That Blue was still inside . I knew if I was alone, it would happen again.
I grasped his arm as if he was running away, even though he was just there, standing still, his eye on .
"Later," I said.
He did not say anything, just gave a small nod. I felt like he was thinking about sothing. However, I did not feel like I should ask him about it.
We returned to the bedroom. My mind still was not working well. I kept thinking about that intense, but familiar feeling.
I bent over the crib and watched our son. Watching him made relax a little. It was like I could breathe again.
I felt a hand on my back, caressing the small of my back gently. My hair was small enough to not be in the way as he unzipped my dress. His fingers touched my bare back gently. As if marking with his fingers, he ran them over my back, slowly and gently.
He did that a lot- running his fingers over the mark. I did not know why he did that, but I never stopped him.
"You hate this mark a lot," I mumbled.
"Do you like it?" he asked.
"Like it? Well, it is complicated. I hated it… I used to hate it a lot. But now… Dem, I want to hate it. I want to hate it because of how much pain it caused ," I said. "But… I can't really hate it.
It feels like… ''."
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