(From Blue's Perspective)
"His Highness will co back very soon. Two months will go by in the blink of an eye," Calix said.
I was in a bad and miserable state. Calix had been trying to comfort in every way he could. He made tea, arranged my docunts even when I did not tell him to, cleaned my desk because he thought a tidy space would make feel better and he also suggested going on a walk in the garden.
"I am being pathetic…," I sighed. "My eyes are all red now. Anyone can see I have cried too much. For what though? It's not like he is not gonna co back. I am overreacting."
"I can't help it… I feel like sothing will go wrong. This feeling… It just won't go away. It's too ominous…," I added.
"It sotis happens with so people, I heard. Sotis, it's baseless as it doesn't have a logical explanation. We cannot see the future after all, nor can we predict it. It's just if sothing wrong keeps on happening, there is an automatic feeling of uneasiness that sothing wrong might happen again. If sothing goes too well, we also feel that way.
And we don't know about a lot of things, what I an is if there are a lot of mystery around us regarding our lives, the sa feeling appears," he said.
"… You have a point there," I said. "So, what you an is regardless of what happens in our lives, if soone thinks too much, they are bound to feel this way?"
"Yes," he gave a nod.
"… When have you grown up so much, Calix? You have gotten smarter," I said.
"Please don't make fun of , Your Highness."
"I am not," I said sincerely. "I an what I said. Actually, you are right. It's baseless. I cannot see the future after all. If there is a god, I believe even they can't see the future.
I just think too much."
I had the problem of thinking too much from childhood. I always thought of a lot of negative possibilities about every situation which was harmful to not just my ntal health, but also my physical health.
"Don't just work, Your Highness. Let's take a walk soti too," he said. "It will clear your mind and make you feel better."
"Not today. I feel too tired to do so," I said. "Let's do it starting tomorrow. That said, aren't you going to the festival?"
There was a festival every year. Dem had gone out during the festival season last year. It was the sa this year.
It suddenly reminded of Ezekiel. Thinking about him made very angry. Because of his foolish love for , I had to lose my child. I could never forgive him for this. Isaac, Dem's cousin, was as much guilty as him. Both of them planned it.
"I am not sure. The knights will go. Maybe I will go too once or twice," he said.
"You get the evening off. So, you can go," I said.
"Won't Your Highness go?"
"I don't think so. Festivals are not that great for ."
"What does that an?"
"I don't like crowded places. They give a headache," I said.
Besides, what happened after I went to the festival last year did not make want to visit it again. After coming from the festival last year, Ezekiel took advantage of and kissed my neck when I was drunk. Dem had seen it and was very angry. He had the right to be. I would have gotten angry if I had seen another woman kissing him.
Just having a dream about him being intimate with another woman made angry and I was sure even if I was immortal, I would rember that dream for eternity. Seeing sothing like that in real life would break and make go crazy.
'Well, my Dem is not like that. He is very loyal and loving. He would never do sothing like that. That stupid dream…'
"Has Your Highness gone there last year?" he asked.
"I did," I gave a nod. "I drank for the first ti there. It was a disaster. I don't even want to rember that ti."
"It must have been pretty bad," he said.
"It was," I said.
I was chatting with him while doing my work in my office. Calix was truly an amazing person to hang out with. He was younger than , so I felt like I was responsible for him even though he was the one guarding . He was more mature than Perita who was at least five years older than him.
I had to make sure Perita did not cross the line of being childish, so I developed the habit of taking care of Calix as well.
After my work was done, I went to have lunch. I invited Calix and Perita to have lunch with as I felt lonely.
"Your Highness!" Perita exclaid and hugged as soon as she saw .
"Why are you being like this to Her Highness?" Calix grumbled, pulling her so she would let go of .
"His Highness has left this morning, hasn't he? I knew Your Highness will be lonely, so I brought this for Your Highness," Perita said and showed a small box that she had in her pocket. She did not pay any attention to Calix.
"What is this?" I asked.
"It's so seeds," she replied.
"Seeds?" I asked.
"I did not Her Highness likes growing plants…," Calix mumbled.
'That's because I don't.'
"It's no usual seeds. The seeds will start growing into a single plant within twelve hours after planting them," Perita said. "I bought them from the market. That guy had a few seeds and I bought all of them as he said it will look more beautiful if there are more seeds. He said this plant will do sothing to relieve loneliness."
"You believe that? You were scamd," Calix said.
"Nah, my mother had this plant too. It was in her room. I was not allowed to go there, so I don't know. But she also said that it relieved the feeling of loneliness," she said. "Please take it, Your Highness."
"Ah, thank you," I said with a smile. "That was very thoughtful of you."
"Welco," she grinned. "I don't want to see Your Highness unhappy. I don't know what more to do. But if Your Highness wants to do sothing to make you feel better, please feel free to do so. I can even beat Calix up if Your Highness wants to."
"No, I don't want that," I chuckled. "You two are important to and are very helpful and supportive. I am glad to have you both. Anyway, let's have lunch, shall we?"
The chef made all the things that I liked as if it was my birthday. It was like a feast. Well, every day was like a feast for as the Queen. But today, it was even more than before.
"Dig in, you two," I said.
"It's an honor, Your Highness," Calix said.
"Stop being too formal when there is no one else," I said. "I told you before too."
"Yes, but I feel guilty sotis."
"Why?" I muttered, taking a sip of my waterlon juice.
"I an, Your Highness is our Queen and you are very kind. Sotis, I feel like I am not doing enough," he said. "Life as a knight is hard. But I and Perita don't have to live that hard life as Your Highness's personal guards. We are supposed to stand behind Your Highness all the ti, but we don't have to do that when there is no one else.
When it was raining that day and we were in the garden, Your Highness pulled under the umbrella as well. When I had a small fever, Your Highness gave a break. Your Highness gives us bonuses very often. Really, I feel like we are not doing enough for Your Highness, at least, I feel that I am not doing enough."
"What nonsense? You both are doing your best. I don't expect anything else," I said. "You two respect and listen to . That's all I need."
"See? Your Highness is again as kind as usual," he chuckled.
'Kind and ? Am I doing things a kind person would do? I don't know… I don't understand them much. Just because the Royals are usually self-centered people who think they are gods doesn't an I have to be the sa. I am self-centered enough to be rude to others who work for . But I am not particularly kind either.
Considering how other Royal usually I might seem like a saint, but in reality, I am just being a regular human.'
Reviews
All reviews (0)