The Wandering Inn Book 9: Chapter 16: R

The life of an average citizen in Terandria was said to be better than most Izrilians, Balerosians, Chandrarians, and especially Blighted Kingdom citizens. Not because their levels were higher or any nation was more magically or technologically advanced, but because Terandria, as a continent, was safer.

As a Human-dominated continent, the interspecies wars, such as the Drake and Gnoll conflicts, had been replaced by, uhintraspecies war. But civilized war, such that the average mber of the common folks slaughter by invading armies was frowned upon and largely condemned. Even Baleros with its rcenary armies had less of a genteel approach to warfare.

SimilarlyTerandrias systems of organization were completely different from city-states in Izril, for instance. Unlike how, in Izril, you might be subject to a Walled City or nobles authority or simply be a largely free agent only bound to whatever local city laws there were, Terandria was about identity.

Almost no farm or village was independent. They fell under the authority of a local noble who reported to and was overseenin theoryby a larger noble, who reported to the biggest noble still. This was all under the aegis of the crown, and every kingdom in Terandria had, well, a [King] or [Queen]. Or both.

All this ant that you got interesting scenarios about responsibility and duty. If a plague or natural disaster or monster were not addressed, the bla lay, in part, on the person governing the area. Whether or not they were held accountable was one thingbut it ant that, in theory, the common folkagain, a term that Rabbiteater kept hearing more and more oftengrew to depend on their rulers.

He looked at it as similar to Goblin tribes, where you had a lot of Chieftainsbut in this case, the Chieftains were not necessarily reliable. They were appointed by a super-Chieftain and

Well, at that point his head began to hurt, and the [Knight of the Dawn] would try to get isa, Talia, or whover it was to change the subject. He had no problem with the concept because he didnt think hard about it.

If it was a good system, it was good. If it was bad, soone should do sothing about it. What he didnt appreciate were all the attempts torationalize it to him. As if, sohow, he should be taking notes and making all the Goblins or Izrilians copy this thod of governance.

You have [Lords]. I have [Chieftains]. If things are good, one is like the other. Doesnt matter, does it?

The Hobgoblin muttered, and instantly, no less than four people began arguing.

Rabbit! We have been trying to tell you

A [Lord] is not a [Chieftain]

I say, Rabbiteater, I understand your logic, but its sowhat insulting to

the historical [Chieftains] ca out of barbarous tribes, its true, but Terandria distinguished itself with the right of kings and

Four outraged [Knights] all began nattering at Rabbiteater as he put his fingers in his ears. He got to do this because they were in a carriage with curtains, so hed taken off his helt to relax. He was regretting it.

Da isa, Da Talia, Ser Ilm, and Ser Markus were all defending their beloved Terandria. However, they fell silent as the last mber of the carriage spoke.

Yep. Thats what I think, too.

Ser Greysten grinned as he wedged a travel pillow behind his back and put his feet up on the far seats. The carriage was very spacious, a twelve-seater, so the five [Knights] were being well-accommodated with Rabbiteater. Not that the Sumrs Champion was so indecorous with the junior mbers of the Order of Seasons.

He was just copying Rabbiteater, who was enjoying lying stretched out, bridged across both seats. It took so core strength to keep himself level, but Talias look of mild outrage was worth it. Greysten chortled as the [Knights] chose their words carefully.

Ser Greysten. Surely you cant be serious.

Da Talia, was, predictably, the first one to speak. For a response, the Sumrs Champion, Greysten, still nursing several bandaged wounds and healing from his duel with Ailendamus champion, Ser Uzine, just shrugged. He scratched irritably at the visible gauze under a tunic emblazoned with orange and yellow, like a sunburst itself.

You are lecturing a Goblin, Da Talia, about [Kings] and nobility. I remind you, Goblins have their Kings and LordsI dont know if encouraging Ser Solstice to monarchy is wise.

The other [Knights] fell silent, and Rabbiteater grinned at this ntion of his species most objectionable trait to non-Goblins. He looked across at Ser Markus, who eyed Rabbiteaters gauntleted feet resting on his seat. Ser Ilm cleared his throat.

It is that very issue we hope to resolve in so manner, Sumrs Champion. Hence the ethical dilemma the Falls Sentinel has proposed: [Knight] or not, it would be wrong to help create a Goblin King. But that danger is remote indeed, and countered by injecting

He hesitated, and Da isa spoke snippily.

What? Civilization, to Goblins?

Say, rather, alternate viewpoints Ser Solstice might carry to his people.

Ser Ilm was quick on his verbal feet. Not as much on the training field, but he was still one of the better Autumn Knights in a fight. Rabbiteater grinned wider as he peeked out the window. He was fiddling with the doorknob, but Ser Markus deftly handed him a helt before the Goblin could go out. Rabbiteater glanced over his shoulder.

Goblins know lots of viewpoints. We just dont do any of em.

Because you believe you have a better way of doing things? Because you refuse to accept so ideal of the presented modes of organizing?

Ser Ilm had a quill at the ready; he was writing notes, which would be private, about Rabbiteater and his culture. It would join scant writings on Goblins, so everything Rabbiteater said was valuable indeed. It was flattering and why Rabbiteater didnt really get mad at Ilm. The Hobgoblins grin widened.

Nope. No one lives long enough to do anything fancy. [Farr]? Most Goblins die in five years or less. No ti to swing a hoe.

Then he shoved the helt on his head and popped out of the carriage. The other five [Knights] sat there in an uncomfortable silence. Ser Solstice, or Rabbiteater, could generate it quite often when discussing his ho, and the [Knights] really only had themselves to bla. Ser Ilm, for his part, just scribbled Rabbiteaters reply down with a sigh.

Im beginning to realize most of Goblins issues boil down to that reply.

Da Talias lips compressed. Perhaps shed been about to say sothing to the effect of, when they have freedom to grow, they beco Goblin Lords or sothing like that. Which would have started a fight with isa. However, Ser Markus just looked thoughtful, and Ser Greysten cracked one eye open.

Then dont try and solve a species. Just watch our Ser Solstice, Ilm.

The Fall Knight ducked his head, abashed. Everyone looked out the window, and Markus rolled up the blinds now that Rabbiteater was jogging alongside the rolling wagon. They had to admitpart of this discussion and trying to show Rabbiteater all these Terandrian ideas?

It was because they liked him and wanted him to stay. After all, even if the war wasnt officially over, the Order of Seasons, like the Dawn Concordat, was celebrating their great victory. The advent of many other nations into the battle against the previously-indomitable Ailendamus ant everyone could breathe and peace might follow soon, or at least, a less dire war. The problem was

Rabbiteater seed to be growing less happy and more restless by the day. So they had to show him reasons to stay. Unfortunately, what the Goblin saw and listened to was less the philosophy of state. He was more interested in

[Peasants].

Actual [Peasants]. Rabbiteater stopped jogging alongside the carriage and peered at them almost as hard as they gawked at him. He had never seen one before.

Peons. Peasants. Rabbiteater knew the first term from, well, Lyonette. It was a catchphrase of hers, and peasant wasa word. Yep. One that he heard very rarely, and probably only Numbtongue would use it in common dialogue.

But as a class? [Peasant] was soso

Weird.

Think about it. A class was who you were, even if it were an aspect. Within everyone was thethe potential to beco a [Fisher]. Or a [Warrior]. So people could beco things others couldnt; not everyone had the magic to beco a [Mage] or the birthright of a [Lord], for instance, but you could obtain these classes.

But[Peasant]? The Goblin stared at them. How did one [Peasant]? What was [Peasant] as a class?

The answer was: it was Terandrian. Not just Terandrian, but the first [Peasants] he t were part of the Eternal, Glorious, sothing, sothing nation of Calanfer. The carriage was passing down a road headed straight for the capital, and even close to the Eternal Throne of Calanfer, the largest and most famous city in the nation where their famous throne resided

The farms and peasant-ish lifestyles continued. Rabbiteater supposed that made sense. You wanted farms near where you ate. But not too close! Or you got chickens in the throne room, and his observations of the [Princesses] were that they had never seen a chicken uncooked. Every nation needed farms. Every nation needed artisans who could make basic goods. Herd sheep for wool, grow food, cut wood, mine orevery stereotypical things.

Howeverit seed like Terandria didnt have specialist classes. Or rather, instead of starting as a [Miner], so people started as a [Peasant]. And they got weird Skills.

Ser Knight! Ser Knight! Thank you for fighting at the Archmages Pass! Are you bound for the capital? Bless you!

So of the people in the fields were cheering as Rabbiteater jogged past. They had been calling out all this while to the Thronebearers and other riding [Knights] along with mbers of Pheislants army. Rabbiteater saw two dozen people working in a vast field that grew, of all things, turnips.

They were harvesting a fall crop, and by the looks of it, doing fairly well. It was not a hugely productive field.

Rabbiteater had seenor rather, raidedthe best farms around the High Passes. If the Redfangs had descended on Calanfer, they would have passed this field up unless pickings were slim. It wasnt poorbut Rabbiteater had seen Level 30 [Farrs] and what they could produce.

Turnips as big as your head. These ones? Regular-sized. However, it seed like this farm fed an attached field of cows, another of pigs, and an entire herd of sheep. The most classic farmstead he could imagine. There were so horses grazing and resting from pulling plows, and a pair of dogs had been racing up and down, barking at the passing warriors.

Right now, they had stopped, slled Rabbiteater, and were staring at him warily. He kept wearing anti-scent charms, but dogs sotis recognized Goblins anyways. One growledand a [Peasant] in his mid-thirties quickly shooed the animal off. He tipped a wide-brimd hat at Rabbiteater.

Apologies, Ser Knight! Calanfers Eternal Throne protect you!

He bowed, and Rabbiteater was amazed to see all two dozen other people do the sa. It was a single bow, but it looked like a lot of work to bother doing.

No problem. Uhnice dog.

At this, the [Peasant] seed amazed by the response. He bead and, emboldened, stared at the coach that Calanfer had sent for the Order of Seasons.

Thank you, sir! Are you Pheislants [Knights]? OrNoelictus?

He didnt know, and Rabbiteater had no heraldry, so the Goblin shrugged and pointed to the [Knights] nodding and waving to so of the very young workers in the field. Ser Markus seed most at hohe ca from the common folk, while everyone else did not. His eyes were knowledgeable as he scanned the field and farm.

Were Order of Seasons. They are. Im from Izril.

Instantly, the [Peasants] focused on him. The first mans eyes widened. Rabbiteater got a chance to look him up and down now they were close, and he began to understand what a [Peasant] was.

Peasants were poor. And that wasnt even bias. Rabbiteater had visited a few cities in his ti living around Liscor, and he had observed a few basic facts that Erin took for granted.

For instance, she had found Liscor pretty close to her actual ho in terms of dress, sanitation, and whatnot. The clothing, if different, was not notably worse.

Calanfers [Peasants] were hardly raggedly people bathing in mud; they looked rather clean, and Rabbiteater saw only a tiny, artful seam hiding a tear. They seed fed enough, but the difference between them and, say, soone from Celum or Liscor was this:

They wore wool, not cotton. It looked like nice wool, but it wasnt cotton. The man wiped his brow, with, yes, a handkerchief that had embroidery on it, a blue stitch around the faded and washed linen.

That was all. They carried steel-tipped hoes, their hand-carts looked well-made, and Rabbiteater didnt see any notable injuries or malnourishnt that Goblins were all too familiar with. But their clothing budget was definitely not, say, the sa as the Order of Seasons.

At any rate, the man seed in awe of Rabbiteaters attire, which was full-steel, rich by any citizens standards no matter where you went, let alone the magical cloak hanging from his shoulders and his enchanted axe. He took it all in and ca to a quick conclusion.

Thencould you beSer Solstice? The Goblin Slayer?

Now, the Hobgoblin was getting embarrassed. They stared at his armor and seed shocked it didnt glow. But since he was bad at lying, Rabbiteater shrugged.

Yes?

Instantly, all twenty-one of them tossed down their tools and flocked towards him.

Ser Solstice! We saw a recording of your duel with the Da of the Hills!

Ser, you rode with Princess Seraphel the Dutiful! Please, Ser, will you take so water?

May I shake your hand, Ser?

The carriage halted as the Hobgoblin was suddenly surrounded by an odd group offawning people? It wasnt like a Goblin mob where theyd tackle you and cover you with affection or Erins friendliness. They were both around him and not pressing in, as if afraid theyd upset him.

Ironically, that made Rabbiteaters skin crawl harder. But the looks of enraptured admiration were real. Soone ran for a well, and more kept bowing.

Uh oh. You alright, Rabbit?

Da isa called out, which made the [Peasants] hesitate, but Rabbiteater nodded. He shook a few hands, which delighted the [Peasants]. He declined water, but the head of this farm was insistent.

For the Lightheralds successor

Im not. I just, uh, got so light temporarily.

then for the champion who helped fight for Calanfer! Anything you need, Ser! I am sure the capital will want for nothingit is a glorious place. But if you wish for food, drinkanything our humble farm can provide

He was almost insistent. Which was weird. Rabbiteater began to wonder if sothing was up. Talia was giving him an encouraging look, and even Markus gave Rabbit a covert nod. All the [Peasants] looked ready to run for a cup of water or

Why? Because he was Ser Solstice, the [Knight] who had fought with Seraphel? Rabbiteater wasnt shinyLyonettes boon had worn off, and he was really unhappy because it had been so useful. Even sohe gave in out of sheer desperation.

Um. Turnips.

Turnips, Ser Solstice?

Yep. Can I have one?

Rabbiteater hadnt eaten a turnip in a long ti. He had a vague image of roasting one over the fire with a stickor if you wanted to be decadent, putting so with oil in a pan, so salt or sothing for flavor, and giving it a good fry.

That was a Goblin al. He only really wanted one, but at this, the [Peasants] ran towards their carts and promptly began hunting for the best turnip. Only the best! Dozens of misshapen ones were tossed aside, and they ca back with nearly fifteen turnips.

I, uhonly want one.

As many as you need, Ser Solstice! Its not the finest fare, but I do have [Pestless Crops]! For you, sir! Soone wash it off

Eventually, he had three turnips, and the beaming people had bowed so many tis Rabbiteater was afraid the older ones would snap their spines. He backed away to the carriage, feelingvaguely unnerved by all of it.

Turnips? Of all the things to ask for, Rabbiteater

Da isa was patently amused as the Hobgoblin retreated into the carriage. Rabbiteater waved at the [Peasants], who were cheering the Goblin Slayer, and he muttered.

Lets go. Now.

The [Driver] urged the horses, and Rabbiteater waved a bit and stared at the people in the field. He looked around.

Is Calanfer all like that? Likefriendly but because Im a [Knight]? Whats the word for

Sycophantic?

Ser Ilm suggested. Rabbiteater shrugged.

I dont know what that is. Sick?

No, ah, flattering. Flattering to the point where its not quite real. Especially to the nobles and those of higher station?

Ah. Yes. Do they do that for everyone?

Ser Markus snorted.

If a local noble orperish the thoughtone of the [Princesses] had gotten out of their carriages, it would have drawn everyone in twenty miles to bow and kiss their hands. Good thing you didnt ask for a slice of beef. They might have slaughtered a cow on the spot.

Rabbiteater shifted and felt a crawl down his spine.

Weird. Why?

Because youre a [Knight]. Thronebearers are treated like that, and while Pheislant has far less of the peasantryCalanfer does well to make its citizens love the Eternal Throne. Especially so close to the capital.

Ser Greysten seed to understand Rabbiteaters uneasiness. So did Markus; Talia looked slightly miffed that Rabbiteater found the experience unpleasant. As for Ser Ilmhe was watching the farrs. Rabbiteater looked at Markus.

Why do all that? Markus?

Well, a noble could be quite unpleasant if he didnt get that response. Not that my family was in fear of our local [Lady]. But you hear stories.

The Spring Knight spoke cheerfully, and instantly, Talia grew patently uncomfortable.

Not in Pheislant.

Markus ignored that pointedly.

Nor were my family [Peasants]. But every class and kingdom does it differently. Just look back at the folks who gave you turnips, Rabbit.

The Hobgoblin did. They were rolling away at a good pace, butthe Goblins eyes suddenly narrowed. He peered through his visor, wishing the slits of tal werent in the way. Wait a second.

Whats that?

Ser Ilm comnted, jotting a few notes down.

That would be the reason why you have a generalist class like [Peasant]. Theyre not as adept as [Farrs], but they are good at one thing: tithing and supporting higher classes. What Skill would you call that, Markus?

I dont know. My family didnt get those Skills. But Id guess its a [Tribute]. What are they holding, Rabbiteater?

The Goblin wasgoggling. He pointed out the window at the man whod given him a turnip.

Thats abut thatsthats a blue fruit!

A fat blue fruit was sitting in the palm of the delighted [Peasant], and another was yanking turnips out of the ground with amazing vigor. The last one was just beaming about, still waving. Ser Ilm categorized all three.

Lets see. One seems to be a strength boost. The smiling woman? I daresay a mood-based Skill. But the last fellow might be high-enough level to gain sothing. [Tribute: Hotown Gift] or so such. If he was warier of us, he wouldnt be so open about it. Or he might fear youll steal theRabbiteater, no!

Ser Ilm grabbed for Rabbiteater, but the [Knight] had kicked the door open. Talia, Markus, and even Greysten tried to stop him, but the Goblin was running back down the field.

The [Peasants] looked terrified, and Talia groaned.

Dont let him steal the fruit back! Markus, co on

Wait.

isa barred the others from stopping Rabbiteater; he was pounding towards the man in front, who looked like he was going to faint in fear. She peered at Rabbiteater and rembered sothing he had said once. All five [Knights] saw Rabbiteater skid to a halt. They couldnt hear him, but he didnt snatch the blue fruit proffered by the terrified man.

Rather, he pointed at it emphatically and gestured, and the looks on the [Peasants] faces changed from fear to reliefstraight back to horror. The man nearly dropped the fruit, and Talia hesitated.

Wait, whats he saying?

Ser Ilm slapped his forehead.

Bright bluewait a second. That must be an Antus Fruit! Dead gods! Hes saving them from dying of poison!

Poison?

Talia was horrified. Ilm explained the deadly nature of the blue fruits, and sure enough, Rabbiteater himself produced a knife and cut up the fruit carefully, before giving pieces out to the cautious people. He showed them the core and handed it to the man, who gingerly pointed at a plot of land. By the ti Rabbiteater ca jogging back, Greysten was sitting up.

Never a dull mont with you, eh, Rabbit? Was that an Antus fruit?

What? No. Its a blue fruit. Super poisonous. I showed them how to eat itand told them to plant it if they wanted.

Rabbiteater hauled himself back into the carriage. Ilm opened his mouth and shrugged. Rabbiteater wiped at his forehead as he yanked off his helt.

That Skill is dangerous.

Not usually. But as you can seeits a [Peasant]s reward. Normally.

Huh. Weird class.

Talia Kallinad shook her head, exasperated, but pleased at this object-demonstration.

But thats how it works, Rabbiteater. You see? The common folk support the [Knights]. And so can be [Knights]

Not in Calanfer.

Markus muttered, cutting Talia off. She sighed, but carried on.

but in return, they fear neither monsters nor bandits! Not everyone must work in the fields, but there is a place for everyone in a fair kingdom.

Rabbiteater sighed. They were back to this again. He stared at the ceiling, and Ser Greysten murmured.

A fair kingdom, indeed. And an unfair onewell. The Order of Seasons rights what wrongs it can, but not every battle can be won with a sword. That is the Season of Falls prerogative, to fight with words and tools.

Talia nodded grudgingly, and the other [Knights] waited. Rabbiteater could have pointed out this was one system that assud, no, demanded a large group of people willing to support a small group of higher-class people. He could have pointed out the way a [Peasant]s class rewarded them for subservience. Or he could have simply contrasted this with his understanding of Izrilian cities and customs.

But the Goblin was, alas, no great ponderer like Headscratcher or even a surreptitious nerd like Numbtongue with all his words and his books he refused to use as kindling. Rabbiteater just stretched back in his seat and thought for a while.

Hm. Well. Its your way of doing things.

The [Knights] waited. After a bit, Rabbiteater went on.

Its okay. I guess. Reminds of Antinium. Lots of Workers and a Queen.

Rabbiteater!

The outrage began anew, and only Ser Greysten saw the Goblins subtle grin.

Whether or not you agreed with any philosophical takes on the efficacy of how it operatedthe [Peasants], the classic ideals of Terandria

That was Calanfer. And perhaps no other city in the south of Terandria exemplified the idea of countless lives, millions, all devoting their ti, effort, products, gold, and their very existences towards one thing.

One place. The Eternal Throne, the city that literally shone by day.

Even at night, in places. Calanfer was one of Terandrias wonders. Even the ancient half-Elven cities of old were said to be only a match for its marvels.

And that was because Calanfer was made of ancient stone, of tals and magic so wonderful it could only have co from a ti far before the modern day. Never mind that it was only six thousand years old, having been ford after the Creler Warsthe heart of Terandria was a secret only a few people knew about:

A Dragonthrone. And it was that material which lined the streets, which provided the foundations and inner city, and made it so wondrous to visit. And frankly, live in.

For instance, think of it like this: a native Calanferian citizen who spent all their life in the capital might never appreciate this, butother cities, even capital cities, did not have litter laws.

Oh, tossing sothing on the ground might be frowned upon, but it was not a finable offense. Calanfer? Any citizen would instantly take offense at seeing a piece of litter discarded. And why not? Their streets were beautiful. No cobblestones, but flat, smooth ground, tiles of semi-lustrous stone in various colors, such that so citizens could tell which street they were on just by looking.

The inner city and many streets of the outer city were built of this material. Whichfine? It was a nice street. A walkway like an ocean current, even cooler than normal on the hottest days, was a fine street to live on. But was it really the bees knees?

Seraphel had seen bees since leaving ho. She had even been stung by them. She had also observed that other streetsbroke.

Cobblestones were ripped up. The street got muddy. Entire sections just vanished because they were dirtied or flooded. Regular streets did not have a surface so fine that even the heaviest carts couldnt dent themand so easy to clean that the [Sweepers] could literally scrape off any substance and leave them lustrous once more.

The quality of a street mattered. Calanfers capital had streets that would never break, that were pleasant to walk on, and always beautiful. And that analogy extended to the rest of the architecture.

Buildings did not break in the inner city. Those founded on magical materials barely flexed during earthquakes. Even the ones built later were held to a higher standard, and the sa went for the limited sewer system. Calanfer did not rot, corrode, or break. Therefore, it built ever higher and ever better.

You could walk into the Chelinese Tower and go up eight floors, each one to a different restaurant, pub, or eatery, each in a different style, and dine in the commonwealth tavern, or ascend to the top and stare out of crystal windows at the city below as you ate ingredients imported directly from Baleros.

Or, if it took your fancy, you could tour the Gardens of Twilight, a publicly-accessible garden that had plants growing from many different bios, selected for beauty. Or walk across the Sunbreak Bridge over a lake within the city or rent a boat to ride across it. Calanfer had a lot of light-based nas.

It was also the most-visited city in all of southern Terandria, and both tourists and citizens ca for a chance to experience the delights of the Eternal Throneand see the majesty of Calanfers seat of power, which was a life-changing experience.

It ant that you could get trinkets or the latest fashions from overseas here, that a lot of trade ca to Calanfer via Nadel or Pheislant, and that the service industry was exceptionally good.

All of it bored Seraphel, and she grew more and more gloomy, apprehensive, and oddly happy to be back by turns as she rolled through the streets of Calanfer.

She had lived here for sixteen years before her first marriage. Sixteen years spoiled anyone, especially when a [Princess] could visit the finest establishnts and had the run of the city. It might surprise Rabbiteater to have even farrs wave at him, but Seraphel was so used to the experience she barely did more than wave back as she rode with Vernoue and Aielef back to the capital.

Ohthere was a parade. But there was always a parade whenever three [Princesses] were together, and this was to celebrate their victory, so Seraphel barely noticed. She smiled, waved, blew kisses, but she was on complete autopilot.

That was the boredom. The gloominess was seeing how Calanfer hadnt changed. The fashion changed, they had new advertisents for plays, song shops that sold the Singers crystals, encouragents to enlist in the army, support the war

But the city hadnt changed. Her family hadnt changed. Seraphel was apprehensive about that. About her new Skillsher disobedienceespecially her class. Her motherwould have words. Her father? She didnt know what would co next.

Yetthe odd elation was because the people were cheering for her. They always did; the [Bards] and Thronebearers could make even Lyonette beloved. But this ti, there seed to be genuine enthusiasm in their voices. They cheered her, and it was the [Princess] who realized the words had changed!

Seraphel the Daring! Seraphel the General! Your Highness, I saw you ride!

Princess, I love you!

Princess Seraphel, I fear no curse! Ill marry

Seraphel actually saw one of the Thronebearers tackle soone out of the crowd. She turned back to Aielef, who was waving as her daughters rode behind her.

Thats new.

Yes, well, soone is the dashing hero of the hour. Theyll quiet downbut let the Order of Seasons have their mont. We are all triumphant victors in the Dawn Concordats finest hour.

Aielef replied, and Seraphel tried not to snipe back. Her older sister was simultaneously jubilant, petty, and full of herself. But Seraphel let it be.

They had won. She had ridden out anddone sothing. Foughtnot that shed swung a sword, but even Ser Greysten had assured her that her contribution might have swung the battle at Krawlnmaks Pass. Then they had marched on Ailendamus andseen strange sights. Whether that was a victory or notSeraphel had experienced another revelation, then.

Even now, she couldnt quite tell if it had been real. It was so vivid, she couldnt doubt it, and yethad that really been Marquin the Radiant, the actual founder of Calanfer, speaking to her? The whispers, the voices

If she had not been seen on the scrying orb, Seraphel would have doubted her very mind. But the ghosts had been there. So Seraphel believed.

But ohghosts did not say easy things. There were no polite nothings from the ghosts who had surrounded her and given her blessings, warnings, and advice. As for Marquin

What a strange woman to have founded this place! Calanfer shone like a polished gem sitting in a jewelers cloth. It was, uhin contrast to Marquin herself.

Seraphel had never realized that, in contrast to all of the images of Marquinand she had statues and tributes everywhere, including a copy of the famous mural of her battle against the Crelers that Wistram had a duplicate ofthat the woman had only had one breast.

Or that she had been taller than the forr Lightherald and could have probably beaten an Ogre in an armwrestling competition. She had been a warrior, a leader. Seraphel wondered when Calanfer had changed.

At any rate, her hocoming was the best it had been sinceit was the best hocoming ever, even with her reservations. But Seraphel had to ownit was still a boring, slow ride through the city. She kept turning her head when she could, pretending to be smiling at the people behind her.

As the three [Princesses] rode to the first square, the Midday Plaza, Seraphel saw no less than Shardele, a [General], and several dignitaries waited to give a speech.

Fifteen minutes. Calanfer was good at speeches. Fifteen minutes at most was what Seraphel knew was a rule for public addresses, and they would be repeating the speech and having [Bards] circulate pre-written copies of what was to be said. It would probably even be a good speechbut all three [Princesses] simply lined up with the army of Calanfer, Pheislant, and the other people being lauded and talked about in loud whispers.

Aielef produced a fan, and the three [Princesses] spoke while Shardele bead down at them with a subtle glower that said she knew they were not paying attention nor did they have to stand and look proud for an hour straight. Vernoue sniggered up at her.

Look, they even hauled Shardele down to the Midday Plaza. She must be higher than the Starlight Peaks tower.

Her sisters snorted. Aielef glanced up.

Not if that stare shes giving us is any indication. Father must really want to show how grateful he is.

The Midday Plaza was a bad place for a [Princess] to beit ant you were receiving each wave of visitors with speeches, and you had to smile in the company of other officials, not get up for one eting at the palace or show your face for a bit. Shardele, as the oldest, was probably furious at having to stand for hours.

It was a perspective only Seraphel could have. A [Princess], ignoring all the awe and grandeur. She glanced over her shoulder.

It looks like another half hour till the palace. More like forty minutes. Anyone got a snack?

Vernoue hesitated.

If they see you eating it

Oh, hush. I know you have so frozen blackberries. Give so here.

Aielef and Seraphel bullied Vernoue until she covertly gave them so blackberries, which they popped into their mouths. They had so honey, and they were a wonderful sweet. Aielef glowered at Vernoue as she fanned herself.

You little rat. Where did you get these?

The last inn we stayed at had so.

So thats why the [Innkeeper] claid she had so and was out! You thievingyoure worse than Lyonette.

Ah, you cant say that anymore. Shes the darling [Princess] married to our Drake allies, rember?

Vernoues eyes flashed with mirth, and Seraphel nearly choked on her snack. Aielef sighed.

Dead gods. I wonder what Father is doing. I imagine there will be a huge reception now that were no longer backed against the wall. I shall be having a bath before then. Oh, look. Shardele is speaking now. Wonderful.

Aielef made a gesture with her fan, a get on with it motion that Shardele probably saw. The [Princess] spoke with a compassionate gaze for the crowd, clasping her hands and staring upwards as she used a Skilland she gave Aielef a single blink of annoyance.

Boring and boredom. Except forSeraphel finally saw one of the last people to enter the square, accompanied by huge cheers. Vernoue turned, and even Aielef smiled genuinely.

If only we could have ridden with him. Now theres soone interesting. Will he be staying at the palace?

I cant imagine Father and Mother would have it any other way.

Who, exactly, Vernoue ant was obvious. Ser Solstices head was swiveling around as he stared about the cheering square, and radiant lights were being cast by the [Wizards]. He looked amazed and overwheld, but Seraphel

She had things she wanted to talk to him about. She found him interesting. But most of allthe [Princesses] had gotten to know the enigmatic [Knight] of Izril, and not only was his worth even higher with the Order of Solstice in Izril

He was just interesting. Seraphel stopped chewing her snack, and Aielef hesitated. Even so of the common folk hadwell, not stopped cheering, but begun to point. Shardele stumbled over her speech, and all three [Princesses] craned their necks to see. Seraphels lips moved.

Is that a turnip? Why is he carrying a turnip? Why is the Sumrs Champion eating a turnip?

He was just fascinating.

Ser Solstice. A na and idea fascinating enough to attract acclaim even now. On par with the Sumrs Champion as a na to et ere they left.

Even now. Calanfers palace included more than Pheislants army. More than [Knights] and Noelictus [Hunters] who had fought in the war. Instead, to their vague displeasure, they were quartered, gratis, in richer parts of the inner city.

No palace rooms? Only a few of the Order of Seasons were afforded that luxury. Ser Solstice being one of them, obviously, because Calanfers diplomats were very good at their job. But Calanfers palace that housed the Eternal Throne itself was vast. It could hold literally thousands of guests. Sothing had swelled beyond even the regular pale of influential guests.

In fact, a Naga was being evicted from his rooms that very mont, and he was not happy.

I represent the Roving Fireball company, a very prominent group serving on Rhir!

The Naga was protesting loudly, craning his neck back and forth as a very apologetic [Negotiator] effected the transfer with a bevy of servants cleaning up. He was hoping soone in power heard him. Howeverlike everything in Calanfer, he had the suspicion that this was a calculated insult.

I am extrely sorry, [Emissary] Xorespe, but circumstances outside of the crowns control have necessitated this state of affairs. The [Chamberlain] himself has been held to account by His Majestya new set of guests of extrely high rank have required more rooms than the palace has.

And they all outrank an [Emissary] of Baleros rcenary companies?

The Naga was furious. And curioushe had co to see if Calanfer needed Balerosian steel for their war. Sadly, it seed like they had received last-minute reinforcents, but his commander had thought it was worth the risk. Establishing friendly ties was not a bad idea. Even so, one had to have dignity. The Humans here werent as bad as Drakes, but even so!

The Naga was about to press the poor [Negotiator] when he heard a strange sound. It sounded like clicking on the hallway tiles.

Pale white frad along black here, such that the center of every hallway was an ongoing line that a visitor could use to find their way around the wing of the hallway. Each wall held dignitaries of note, so portraits, Xorespe understood, commissioned after a visit.

A reminder of Calanfers friends and an incentive for a bit of immortality, here. The Naga turned at that strange sound, and he saw sothing odd indeed.

A lion walked through the halls of Calanfers palace. She scattered the lesser Humans and servants before her with an imperious stare, stalking like the great predator of the plains. Walking side-by-side with her was a Human like a lion. A huge mane of hair made the Naga thinkfor a montthat it was a Beastkin.

But no, the coat was trimd with an actual lions mane, and the pair of green eyes in the dark-skinned face were frad, once again, by a coat like fire that hung around a tight, tucked-in shirt with a strange emblem that the Naga vaguely recognized from his morization of Terandrian heraldry.

It looked likea kind of castle underground? And above were hundreds of swords, hanging above the emblem. Like stars in a kind of flag. But the Naga wasnt able to focus on that.

The lion. All the Calanferians backed away. It was an actual lion, just walking about, staring at the Humans with curiosity. As for the Human

He grinned and ca to a stop. His coat, hanging loosely around his shoulders, shifted and exposed a longsword.

Longsword and cutlass. [Duelist] equipnt. The Naga was a mber of a [rcenary] group. He twisted around and realized instantly that if this were a battle, he was outgeared. Whover this person was, they were richand clearly noble.

Hundredlord Cortese! I apologize, sire, your rooms

The [Negotiator] turned pale instantly and began bowing, leaving Xorespe practically ignored. But the Hundredlord ignored the man completely and gazed at the Naga.

Baeris slled sothing. So these are the rooms shell sleep in? Its fine. Shes not picky about creatures. Perfuotherwise. Go on, Baeris. Does it sort with you?

And with that, the lion padded by the Naga, entered the room, and eight screaming [Servants] fled. She erged after a few seconds and rumbled.

Xorespe had never heard a lion make any sound. He had thoughtlions? This one bared her teeth, and the Hundredlord nodded.

Well send the rest of the pride after.

Whyes, my lord! At once! Can Calanfer oblige the kingdom of Kaaz any further?

No.

The Hundredlord turned around. Then he seed to think of sothing and swung back. He glanced at Xorespe again, but the Naga was still processing what had happened.

Had he just been kicked out of his rooms for a pet? Yes! But that nathe Hundredlord addressed the [Negotiator] without looking at him.

TheSer Solstice. The Goblinslayer of Izril. Is that [Knight] here?

Yes, Lord Cortese, but they have not been settled

Then, later. Good that theyre staying here. I wondered if the palace would run out of room with all our dignitaries.

With that, the Human stalked off, and the lion hurried after him. The two strode down the corridor as the Nagas scales prickled. He unclenched his hands.

He was a tall being, even curled up, and Xorespe had a level of spear-fighting that made him need no bodyguards. Even if the shortspear wasnt on him, he had a pair of long, long daggers.

And yetthe [Negotiator] hurried to clear the [Servants] out and calm them down.

Leave the rooms. Attend to the Order of Seasons next. Emissary Xorespeyour inn will accommodate your every need. Please accept my personal apologies.

He might have feared the Naga would object more upon learning who was taking his place, but the Naga just shook his head.

Kaaz. The Kingdom of Kaaz has sent its nobility? Here? Kaaz Dorem Laegriser, the Kingdom of the Infinite Dungeon?

The man nodded without a word. The [Negotiator]s face was pale, and he stepped over to murmur.

Emissary Xorespe, thank you for remaining cordial.

The Nagas eyes narrowed. He could think on his tail, and he glanced at the nervous Humans face.

As opposed to objecting to a [Lord] of the Restful Three? Perish the thought. Why did that Hundredlord co himself? Not to check on his pet. Was he hoping Id make a fuss?

The [Negotiator] hesitated. He weighed a polite lie with the truth both of them probably had a handle on and nodded covertly. He glanced the way the man had gone and whispered.

Yes. He probably hoped you would object. So he could duel you.

The Naga had noticed the way that Hundredlord had stood. A practiced [Duelist], then. But he hadnt missed the hungry look in the mans eyes. Xorespe shook his head. Suddenly, he thought so distance between him and the palace was the most diplomatic thing of all.

I believe Ill find my inn. Just one question. If the entire palace is fullhow many dignitaries are attending?

Again, the man hesitated, but it wasnt secret, so he nodded carefully to the rooms.

As I understand it, at least twenty nations have co upon the Eternal Thrones hospitality.

Xorespe whistled. So this was more than celebrating the war. He nodded and began to slither off to tell his commander that opportunity had co knocking. No matter which nation it waseveryone needed an army.

Then againif the Restful Three were getting up, perhaps the Roving Fireball company should weigh who they were fighting against.

Of the nations of Terandria, Rabbiteater knew precious few. His head was still spinning from the crowds and the speech one of the [Princesses]another one, besides Aielef, Vernoue, and Seraphelhad given that he almost didnt notice what was going on.

He kept looking over his shoulder, back towards the plaza. What was that? Rabbiteater had grown up staring at rocks to try and tell if an Eater Goat was hiding behind one or if it was actually a Gargoyle.

He was no Antinium to gawk at the sky and admire grass, but that? He looked down as the procession headed up the hill towards the inner city and palace. To get there, they crossed the lake fed by a river. It separated the old part of the city from the new. A huge bridge spanned the gulf over placid waters that had their own throngs of little boats where people waved, colorful sails blowing in a crisp breeze. Even directly below his nervous horse, they stared upthough no one was allowed to sail directly underneath the bridge.

Because the entire walkway was glass. Or so kind of transparent crystal. It wasnt precisely glass, or those below might have been baked by the refracted light. Rabbiteater saw the people below, fuzzily, through a warm radiance that captured the suns rays.

At night, the bridge lights up like a ray of moonlight. We must see it, Ser Solstice! I say, theyve gone all-out for us!

Ser Markus called back, and Talia, isa, and Rabbiteaters friends agreed. The Goblin had to admitthat was true.

Colorful petals were still falling from the balconies, and if he gazed backwards, he saw Shardele du Marquin still waving. He hadnt really paid attention to her speech; like the [Generals], it had been welcoming the heroes and sothing sothing.

Hed been admiring the clouds. She stood, head uplifted, and seed to be standing amidst the skys distant, fluffy clouds. Only, hers were of every color, chartreuse pink and li green, swirling around her like sovision.

Wild. And the citizens had cheered her, then continued to throng the streets, following the heroic [Soldiers] and [Knights]. Not just because it was fun; [Bards] were singing, composing verse on the fly, and there were stands of food being passed out to anyone for free.

Not just to the citizens; more than one tired soldier was more than gratified to receive a treator a kissfrom an admiring passerby. Rabbiteater just wanted the snacks, but all he got were so snappy verses.

Ser Solstice, Ser Solstice entered the fray, and Ailendamus [Generals] all ran away! The Kingdom of Glass and Glorys champions shat their pants and the Goblin Slayer saved the day!

No, I cut off their heads

Markus laughed, and Talia looked scandalized as Rabbiteater shouted at a [Troubadour] who twisted around, looking astonished. But the Goblin was quite pleased.

They even had [Jesters]. It was a concept Rabbiteater hadnt ever seen before, and a class sowhat unique to Terandria. Right now, people dressed up as Ailendamus famous [Knights] were letting children beat them with sticks, pretending to fight. Calanfer was a riot of entertainnt on the streets, but the Order of Seasons were accorded their dignified passage to the palace that housed the Eternal Throne.

Which was too bad, because the [Soldiers] looked like they were having fun. Andas they began to enter another plaza leading up to the palace, a few hurrying [Diplomats] intercepted the [Knights] and began to direct so away from the palace to the best inns and places to rest. That was when Rabbiteater began to realize there was more going on. Not that he cared where he slept, but the [Knights] did.

Dignitaries? How many? Are we to be displaced by travelling [Negotiators]? We fought for the Dawn Concordat and shed blood and broke bones!

Da Talia was upset. On behalf of her fellow [Knights]. Apparently, only she, Da Voost, Ser Greysten, and a handful of others had been given rooms in the palace. A huge insult or sothingexcept that there was a good reason. Da Voost herself held up a hand and Talia instantly fell silent.

Peace, Talia. Our choice of where to sleep is hardly important. Six of our own will have rooms in the palace. Which is as many as they can afford. Nor are we being snubbed; Calanfer has called for a summit in light of what it is calling the great victory against Ailendamus. An unofficial one; the pretext is a banquet. But we have representation not just from the southern kingdoms but further north. These are not [Negotiators] but nobility and their escorts. Even royalty. Twenty kingdoms have sent emissaries.

Which twenty kingdoms?

Ser Greysten, normally amiably uncaring of politics, glanced up suddenly. Ser Ilm had been chatting with the woman who had inford the Order of Seasons about the inconvenience. He actually took a second to re-confirm, then his brows rose all the way.

Cenidau of the northernmost kingdoms. Noelictus, Desonis, Nadel, Pheislantas we are all united by common enmity, Sumrs Champion. ButI am told Taimaguros and Ailendamus have their own diplomats here.

The enemy?

isa was outraged, but Ser Ilm shook his head.

Calanfer would be in negotiations. What is outstanding isthe Kingdoms of Tourvecall, Samal, and Avel have all sent diplomats and representatives. And the Restful Three.

Greystens brows had been rising, but at the ntion of the Restful Three, he actually jerked in surprise. Talia was no less amazed.

What? Tourvecall is notoriously reclusive! So is the Kingdom of Keys!

No doubt they felt it was too important to miss.

The Restful Three? Are you sure?

The Sumrs Champion looked at Ilm, then shook his head.

Well, if its true, well see them soon enough. And all this with Ser Solstice here! Of all our number who shouldnt be in the palace

He gave Rabbiteater a aningful look. The Goblin had already been talking with his friends about the risks of being uncovered in the center of a Terandrian kingdom. Calanfer was unlikely to spy on him as he slept, butthere was a lot more danger here than at the Order of Seasons.

However, he had to admit, he was powerfully curious about these kingdoms. As Greysten conferred with Ilm and his senior [Knights], Rabbiteater poked two people.

isa and Markus didnt know Goblin language, but both had picked up the ubiquitous Goblin sign. They stepped back, and Rabbiteater whispered.

All those kingdoms. Who is they?

Who are they, Rabbiteater.

isa corrected and got a poke in the side. She promptly slapped his hand. Ser Markus looked as amazed as Talia. He swept a hand through his hair.

Im sure we may et them all. No, if youve been given a room, you will be invited to all the formal events.

Which is dangerous, because if soone flips up his visor or casts a spell out of curiosity

isa looked worried, but Rabbiteater tapped his visor.

I have taken great precautions.

Such as?

The two Spring Knights looked at him, and the Hobgoblin raised a thumb.

I glued my visor shut.

isa stared at Rabbiteater. He pointed at Ilm.

He also enchanted my armor against spying. It sounds like fun.

Fun? I daresay there are as many trap spellsno, the Restful Three arent prone to war. But they are a touchy lot. Especially Kaaz. No wonder Ser Greysten is concerned. Well bleed more than on a battlefield if were not careful.

Ser Markus shook his head. Rabbiteater stared at him.

Who are they?

For answer, isa grabbed his armthe servants were waiting to show him to the palace.

Lets explain as we see them, Rabbit. Its easier just to show you. Just know one thing. If you want a tour of so of Terandrias most powerful kingdomsa lot of them are here. But the Restful Three are the most powerful kingdoms in the center of Terandria. If Ailendamus is the power in the souththey would be the reason why Ailendamus hasnt expanded north and why Taimaguros holds rather than make too many wars.

So theyre powerful?

Yes, Rabbit. Theyre powerful.

Just say that next ti.

It turned out that Rabbiteater did know more Terandrian kingdoms than he thought. As he strode through the palace of Calanfer, he found it was a chaos of servants, nobles, and the aforentioned dignitaries and their escorts, so that isa and Markus could point out each nation to him.

The chaos was due to the foreign kingdoms servants, not Calanfers staff. And the fact that the dignitaries were all-too-happy to talk to each other and ignore the people hoping to get them settled into their rooms. Also, there was a pecking order, and navigating a touchy [Baron] not getting his luggage in before a more powerful nations lesser [Lady] wastricky.

Calanfer was managing it. Rabbiteater saw more [Diplomats] and related classes than he had ever seen in his life in the first ten minutes of being in the palace. n and won, even, to his surprise, non-Humans like Gnolls, Drakes, and a Falcon Beastkin, all of whom were very good at being personable.

Not softly spoken necessarily; they had talents. For instance, one of the Gnolls had a grip like steel when he shook Rabbiteaters hand, gave him a single look up and down, and growled.

If you need an escort, we can find you one, Goblin Slayer, [Knights]. Otherwise, your room is numbered as 277. East Wing, rcuous Suites.

Thanks.

Rabbiteater appreciated the lack of fuss. And the Gnoll singled out another target for his straightforward approach. A [Lord] who looked both seasick and sick of being fawned over was standing, arms folded, with a group of four. The Gnolls conversation caught Rabbiteaters ear as he saw soone wearing a velvet gown sewn with pearlsand a helt almost like his, decorated with gemstones, pass by. He pointed at the Human wearing a helt, and she turned to him.

She had gloves, high boots, and revealed none of her skin. But the helt did not fit the elegant dress. Rabbiteater pointed at her.

Whoa. Weird.

Ser Solstice!

Markus stomped on his foot, and Da isa bowed hurriedly.

Milady of Tourvecall, please accept our deepest apologies

The [Lady]if that was what she washalted. Her servants looked oddly pale, not in skin tone necessarily, butpale, as if they were about to faint. She was part of a group of eight, all of whom wore so kind of strange helt. Each one was complete, andunlike their servants who were bareheaded, they were all clearly noble.

One had a completely roundsphere over his head, as polished as a mirror, with two fake ruby eyes that were just cut gems roughly placed where his eyes would be. He also had, to Rabbiteaters great hilarity, so kind of easily-wipeable ink, and hed drawn a curved line like a smile under the eyes.

The laughing Goblin was pointing at the figure, and the [Lord] turned, wiped out the smile, and drew an unhappy line in its place. The [Lady] just offered a muted chuckle behind the helm.

We take no offense. The famous Goblin Slayer is known to be quiteinteresting. As we mask ourselves, so, likewise. We shall speak later, but our travels have exhausted us. Excuse us, [Knights].

At this point, Markus was punching Rabbiteater in the side, but since that was how Redfangs expressed affection, Rabbiteater kept laughing. isa just stared at him, and Rabbiteater stopped laughing.

No sex. He coughed into his hand.

Who are they?

Tourvecall. Kingdom of Incantations. They all wear helts and seldom show their faces. Theyre smallbut unique. Rabbiteater, you could offend foreign powers! This will be a disaster if you cause an uproarwe would all be in danger of our lives!

Markus was sweating. Unfortunately, he could swear Rabbiteater was grinning behind his helm.

So? Nothings changed for .

Ser Markus whispered a prayer to valor as he considered Rabbiteater in a diplomatic setting. He had already seen how he did with the [Princesses]. WorseRabbiteater was not only desired, but if he stayed at the palace, it would be rude not to attend a gathering!

isa shot Markus a look that said theyd have to talk to Greysten, but they kept moving. As they did, the Gnoll [Diplomat] ca back into focus, talking with the annoyed [Lord] dressed all in greens, a huge recurve bow on his back, and a familiar-looking crest. He was accompanied by four others, one of whom was being served by a porcelainGolem.

Milord Veltras. I can give you a personal escort to your rooms, and the Five Families have all been placed in the Beiten Suites. If you would prefer to find your own way

At last, soone who isnt trying to hold my hand. As for togetherwe could be apart.

The other four nobles looked at the representative of House Veltras, who was none other than one of Lady Buscreis sons who had drawn the losing straw and had to play politics. Terland, Wellfar, Eleven Reinharthad sent a noble son or daughter, each.

Yes, Ive quite tired of my cousins infighting. But then again, we Izrilians will be the odd ducks out here. Tell us our rooms, and we will be off.

A [Lady] with a not-quite-a-smile flicked open a lacquered fan, and a black serpent cast on lurid green stared at Rabbiteater on the fans back. He eyed the [Lady] and guessed at once she represented the Reinharts. As for Buscreis sonhe frowned, then raised a hand.

Is that the Goblin Slayer and the Order of Seasons? So friendly faces! Hail! Im Lady Buscreis son, Lord Palec of Oswen! Greetings, although if youre going to try to hit , Ser Solstice, Id rather us keep our distance.

It was probably his cloak. The red, billowing cloakor his battered armor without a crest that made him stand out. Or his gold-jade axe orRabbiteater glanced at Lord Palec and grinned. He raised a gauntleted hand, and the other mbers of the Five Families peered at him.

Ah, the redoubtable Ser Solstice. And the Order of Seasons, whom weat least Wellfar and Veltrasare allies with in the war. The House of El salutes you.

A sprightly [Lord] stepped forwards, the oldest of the lot, with white hair and a rather interesting vest festooned with pockets. He unbuttoned one, and the gold clasp fell away even as he shook isa and Markus hands. He was personableeven for a mber of the nobilitybut the reason beca clear the instant he shook Rabbiteaters hand.

For you, Ser Slayer. And I hope to et Ser Greysten at least, of the Order of Seasons. This is a little pamphlet, which shows in so delightful illustration our kaalblades and a few upcoming projects which include the Archmage of Izrils own handiwork. For funding or private purchase.

Erthank you, Lord?

Heye. I will be speaking to all the groups present, and I encourage you to leave a note with my servants. I will speak to anyone as ti permits.

The man raised two white brows, and Rabbiteater unfolded his piece of parchnt and whistled.

Ooh. Nice magic. Expensive?

He showed Markus the price tag, and the [Knight] paled.

Eight hundred gold per blade? And thats on orders of ten or more?

Perhaps a conversation for the heads of your Season, Ser Knight?

Lord Heye spoke tactfully. isa thanked him, and the Lady of House Wellfar rolled her eyes and stamped a bare foot. She jerked a thumb.

Shall we find our rooms and agree when to et, cousins? I have a fleet of my family hounding Ailendamus at sea, and I have no ti for Els advertising. As for you, Ser Solsticehello. Goodbye.

She stomped off. Rabbiteater stared after the Five Families. On Izril, they were, he knew, the most important mbers of any political group in the north. Here?

They were practically lost amidst the other nations. isa folded up her paper as Ser Markus speculated on how many years of pay hed have to save up for to buy so of the items the House of El were advertising.

Well, that settles it. This is a huge event, Rabbiteater. Tourvecallyou just saw them. The Five Families? Calanfer is either trying for a lot of allies to join them fighting Ailendamus or sothing even bigger. Co onlets not stand in the way. Ill point out more groups as we go. Though you do know them.

Rabbiteater followed her as isa gestured far more covertly than his finger-pointing.

No I dont. I dont know Terandrian Kingdoms.

Markus hurried after them, trying to fold the colorful paper.

Co now, Rabbit. Even you know so by reputation. The nas likely trip you up. For instance. The Kingdom of Samal, over there? They are the Kingdom of Keys.

Rabbiteater peered at a group of people and brightened.

Oh. Paradise!

His voice was too loud. A woman swung around, and her dress swirled. Several items clicked on her wrists, and Rabbiteater saw that Samals representatives were, uh

Unsubtle.

The dress was patterned with keys. Camouflaged keys against folded green and blue, such that you had to sort of stare and theyd appear, subtly woven into the fabric. But less-subtle were the braceletand the lock dangling from one wrist. In fact, the woman had a locked choker and even an earring in the shape of a key.

One of the warriors standing next to her was one of their [Knights]. He hada key-shaped sword hilt. Rabbiteater scratched his head, but the [Lady] simply lifted a hand.

Goblin Slayer. Hello.

Does everyone know ?

He waved back, and the [Lady] laughed lightly. She called back.

How not, in Samals paradise? As you aptly said, we have scrying orbs aplenty, and I found a key the day I saw you duel the Da of Hills! If you have an appreciation for Samal, perhaps you will be a welco guest!

Highly gracious of you, milady!

isa bowed, and the [Lady] waved her off. Rabbiteater stared at the rest of her escort.

Keys and locks. Paradise nation, right.

Famously gracious abroad. Both in errantry and theirinterest in the world. For a paradise, they have a number of their own who decide to leave. Then again, I have heard it has sothing to do with their culture of locks and keys.

Markus murmured. Rabbiteater nodded. isa pointed as they strode past a group unloading their wagons.

One guess which group that is, Rabbit.

He turned his head and frowned. He was about to say not fair, but then he noticed that every single mber of the group, from the warriors in light leather armor to the nobility waiting patiently for a pair of hunting hawks to stop screechingall carried bows.

Aha. Avel!

isa smiled.

See? You do know so. The Kingdom of Bows.

Rabbiteater raised a hand.

Is it stupid they all look like their nas? Kingdom of Keys. Kingdom of Bowsseems obvious.

Markus laughed, but isa just sighed.

We are seeing their representatives, Rabbit. I think theyplay into their image a bit when it befits them. Not everyone in Samal wears so many key-thed items. Although it is part of their day-to-day lives.

Yeah, like the choker. Does she have a lock on her underwear?

Ser Markus choked as isa gave Rabbiteater another look. The Spring Knight fanned himself.

One does not speculate, Ser Rabbiteater!

The Goblin poked him playfully.

Yeah, but Im not blushing. Youre the one who thought Aielef was

Markus ahed and ahed louder as Rabbiteater tried to go on. The Goblin whispered.

Ser Markus the Sexually Indiscreet!

The nickna he had co up with with isa made Markus turn purple. A passing [Servant] gave Markus a wide-eyed stare and moved slightly away, across the hallway. Markus gave them a pained look.

Ser Rabbit. How about that group?

He pointed to a pair of cordial n speaking to each other in a hallway. They were both dressed in what Rabbiteater would call generic clothing without anything as amazing as the other guests. However, one did have a nice pair of shoes. Aside from that? He squinted at their crests and saw a wavy pattern over a rearingHydra head? And the other was just so anchor crossed with a complex filigree bird. Markus nodded at the duo.

Which two kingdoms are they, Ser Solstice? Heres your hint. Theyre neighbors, and both are southern kingdoms. Traditionally friendly.

Uh. Uh

One specializes indancingor at least one mber is known for that. And the other is specialized inwell, its marshy

The Goblin snapped his fingers.

Nadel. Desonis!

He felt proud about that and recognized the two smaller nations, both arguably known for individuals as much as their cultures. The Kingdom of Nadelwho possessed the Lord of the Dance. And Desonisthe Kingdom of the Bedti Queen. Also, the Earl of the Rains, Altestiel, but Rabbiteater did not know the connection between Altestiel and The Wandering Inn.

Onwards, then, to find Rabbiteaters rooms! The rcuous Suites were, interestingly, based off the strange alchemical tal rcury. Not that there was actual rcury lying about, but Rabbiteater saw a lot of silver designs dominating this area of the hallway.

Springs growth! What an amazing display!

Here, another wonder of the Eternal Throne was on show, just as part of the guest rooms. Rabbiteater slowed and saw himself, a figure in slightly-battered armor with a magnificent, flowing crimson cloak, as tall as the slightly green-blonde haired man with a long stride walking next to the brown-haired [Spring Knight], a woman who had a marigold blooming amidst her hair. Rabbiteater glanced at isa and saw a second marigold blooming across the cuirass of her armor.

Her aura of spring was growing if flowers were appearing around her. But the reason Rabbiteater could see isa, Markus, and himself without looking at them wasthe forty-foot mirror-wall.

A perfect reflection of everyone walking past it. Forty feet, an entire mirror hallway that blended seamlessly with the floor. Rabbiteater waved at himself, delighted by the trick of the light like a child. Markus and isa were more impressed by thecost.

Seamless. Beautiful. Why, this would cost tens of thousands of gold pieces! And the silver!

Markus touched the mirror and was astonished when his ungauntleted hand failed to leave a smudge. Soone spoke lightly ahead of the [Knights].

Not just silver, Ser Knight. A compound of rcury, silver, and other potent materials. Though if you knew alchemy, you would be relieved to hear that the rcury is not poisonous.

Markus jerked his hand back, but the newcor just laughed. He ca walking forwards, a crutch in hand, as a pair of figures strode next to him.

No longer. And this hallway has no purpose. In tis past, rcury and silver and other powerful elents were a deterrent to a kind of monsterbut that is old knowledge. Still, this hallway being so faithfully reproduced is a sign of Calanfers culture. And mory. We of Terandria respect mory. But as Ser Solstice of Izril will notewe also quite like what is new, in appropriate doses.

Rabbiteater turned and saw the oldest Human hed t yet. Even Venoriat wasnt as old as the fellow dressed in huge, heavy robes. So deeply warm fur and pale blue, like a far lighter sky in winter.

Winter being appropriate, because the armored figures also had fleece-lined armor and looked hot as hell, even indoors. It was probably why they were in the rcuous Suite; it was slightly cooler despite the mirrors everywhere as fewer windows let in light.

Warmth be yours, though we are far from frozen Cenidau.

The old man nodded, and the warriors of Cenidau, one of the coldest and northern-most kingdoms of Terandria, nodded slightly as well. They carried axes and shields, andRabbiteater realizedthey were both akin to nobility.

Strange. They were as war-ready as House Veltras and almost as casual. The man introduced himself.

Here stand our Hearthlords, Voloke and Iyr. I am the [Wisdom] Hellei of Cenidau; a wise man, or so my class says. Consultant to our Frost Queen. Here for a great banquet of Calanfers hospitality. And you are Ser Solstice, of the Order of Solstice of Izril. Also, Da isa and Ser Markus.

He knew their nas! Ser Markus redoubled his bows to the Hearthlords, but Voloke, who had an impressive beard and a pair of hatchets, spoke with a surprisingly soft voice.

Weve co to eat and drink ourselves sick. Seeing so many famous faces is the pleasant surprise to southern hospitality. Ser SolsticeI saw your duel.

You and everyone else.

Rabbiteater was getting sick of the ntions of the duel. It wasnt even a good one. Not against the Da of the Hills or when hed cheated against the other [Knights]. But there was also him parrying the Greatbow bolts

As his friends had observed, Rabbiteater was actually less enamored with this visit to Calanfer than most people would be. Aside from seeing all these new kingdoms, he was halfway towards riding back to the warfront with Ailendamusor going to the Order of Seasons

Or persuading isa to go back to Izril with him. Which was what he wanted to do because Erin was alive.

Erin was aliveand it felt like his battles here were, if not over, then even less important than they had been. Hed had an adventure.

He wanted to go ho and tell Erin about it.

Yet this was important, and there were interesting things here. Such as Hearthlord Voloke drawing his axes.

I could not let this mont go, especially if we dont have another chance. Will you give a few minutes of your ti, Ser Solstice?

Hearthlord! This is hardly the place, surely!

Markus looked uneasy, but when he turned to the Wisdomand the other Hearthlordthey just looked amused.

Theyre both wearing armor. Voloke is more in danger unless Ser Solstice has no Skills or enchantnts.

Wisdom Hellei pointed out. isa looked resigned as Rabbiteater brightened up. It was true; Voloke had no full-guard helt, so there was a face-gap and a tiny gap across his neck when he put a helt on, but he even had a flat noseguard and enchanted armor.

You sure? I hit pretty hard.

Cenidaus [Lords] arent made of the sa stuff as Calanfers. Cenidau is a cold place. We have gigantic bears. Have you seen black bears, brown bears, Ser Solstice?

Ive eaten Mothbears.

The Hobgoblin accepted an axe. Voloke grinned through slightly yellowed teeth. Iyr laughed.

Ours are bigger. Though if you ca north and hunted one of our polar bears, wed gladly feed you a stew! Co, just so Voloke can brag he fought with a [Knight] of Izril!

He turned to Markus, and the Spring Knight looked worried as Voloke let Rabbiteater appreciate the balanced waraxe. The Hob frowned at the back.

Ooh. Nice back spike. Why does it look

He thought it should have less spike; it was too long for a close-quarters fight to be strictly efficient even if it was balanced well. But that was because it had a double purpose. Voloke gestured at the little serrated teeth on the bottom.

It doubles as a climbing pick. There are walls of stone and ice we climb. Not that Id truly use it for that, but Cenidau has mighty cliffs, larger than any of Avels or Pheislants coasts could dream of! We live in a world of tundra; ice and snow and rock.

And enough hotheads to keep a kingdom running.

Hellei comnted, and Voloke grinned. isa gave a sniff in defense of Pheislant, but that description ward Rabbiteaters heart, and he gave Voloke a nod.

I lived on a mountain, too. The High Passes. It got pretty cold the higher you went. No one I knew ever survived climbing too high.

Ah, a mountain man! So this will be twice the fight. Will you use that axe or yours?

Yours. Do we hit each other?

However you wish. Ill see what one of the best [Knights] in this war can do!

Voloke grinned. The servants in the hallway had seen the impending fight, and so had gone to seek authoritythe others had just put down their burdens and were watching, along with so of the guests. Rabbiteater stared at the axe in his hand.

No face-blows.

Agreed. Then shall

Rabbiteater punched Voloke in the chest, and the man stumbled back as his heavy armor caught most of the force of the blow. Nevertheless, the surprise attack had him mid-word, and he was catching himself when Rabbiteater jumped up and kicked him in the chest.

I say, Rabbit! Unsporting!

Ser Markus shouted anxiously, as if he hadnt personally seen Rabbiteater unchivalrously fight his way across half of Kaliv. Still, Voloke was as good as his words, and he blocked Rabbiteaters first swing as he rolled over, and the two went for it.

Cenidaus [Hearthlords]at least Volokewere no graceful dancers like Da Voost. They fought much like Greysten; powerful blows, solid guards, and practical, battle-honed moves. Rabbiteater followed suit. His armor shook as he slamd the axe into Volokes, finding the man intensely strong!

However, Rabbiteater had used his [Champion] Skill to give himself [Enhanced Speed]. Voloke was careful and held his hatchet two-handed, repelling Rabbiteaters one-handed assaultbut Rabbiteater held his axe in only one hand for a reason. As Voloke swung and missed, the [Knight] grabbed his hand and began slamming the axe into Volokes side like he was trying to cut Voloke in half.

All right, Rabbitenough! Enough!

Markus was worried by the intense fight, but Voloke just grabbed Rabbiteaters own axe arm, and the two struggleduntil Rabbiteater felt a freezing cold running down his arm. He jerked back and saw his arm was covered in frost!

[Frozen Grip].

Voloke murmured. Rabbiteater grinned.

Ooh. My turn. [Lightsoaked Armants]!

His borrowed axe began to glow. Instantly, Voloke raised his guard, but the first swing of Rabbiteaters axe was easily repelled. The engraved blade was light, fastbut no more powerful, just glowing with so light, like it was dipped in a ray of sumrs light. Voloke was still careful, but after eight blows, he perford a two-handed block above his head as Rabbiteater swung the axe down.

Only then did the light coating the axe flash. Voloke went blind. Rabbiteater stepped back and inhaled.

[Body: Solar Storage]! Unleash!

He charged forwards, and the [Hearthlord] shouted.

[Glacial Wall of Ice]!

The man swung his axe wildly, and a wall of ice rose in a flash, hit Rabbiteater, and sent him tumbling past isa and Markus. Voloke backed up, swinging at random, and then blinked the spots out of his eyes.

Rabbiteater sat, sulking, with the axe on the ground as isa teased him.

You cant use your Skill! Unleash? I told you, shouting the Skill doesnt work!

The Hearthlord rubbed at his eyes and then saw Iyr and Hellei chuckling. However, after only a second, Voloke lowered his axe, then strode over to clasp Rabbiteaters gauntlet. He laughed, gripped Rabbiteaters forearm as the Hobgoblin returned the gesture, and accepted his axe back.

Good fight.

Rabbiteater offered the comnt honestly, and Volokes smile was knowing.

I can say I fought the Goblin Slayer of Izrilbut if I were a Goblin or a foe, I think youd have been more cunning, eh?

For a second, Rabbiteater felt his heart skip a beat at a reminder of his na. But he forced a chuckle out.

Yeah. I dont fight fair. Probably would have fought you in a hot tub.

Voloke laughed.

And I would have fought you in a blizzardand thrown javelins at you from behind! So tell , now weve shed so of each others blood, even under the armorjust what is this Order of Solstice?

Iyr and Hellei stepped back, but Markus and isa suddenly looked worried. Rabbiteater hesitated.

Id love to know that too! He had seen Erin make the Order. It had made him miss ho intensely.

Itsmy Order. I took my na from it.

Ah, a pseudonym for [Knights]?

Yeah, pseudo-whatever-that-is. Fake na. Its a nice order. Has an inn. Free drinks.

Iyr and Voloke found that hilarious. Iyr grinned behind a huge mustache and beard of his own.

Now theres a [Knight] order half of Cenidaus warriors could get behind! We have fewer [Knights] than the southlandsbut what did you say about the inn?

Before they could continue, a servant was striding forwards, leading a very upset [Diplomat].

Hearthlords! Ser Solstice, mbers of the Order of SeasonsI must ask on behalf of the Eternal Throne not to conduct any matches in the hallways. The crown has prohibited them, aside from dueling courts, out of courtesy to all guests

Yes, yes. Apologies.

Voloke groaned, and the Cenidau guests stepped back. He lookedless pleased to speak with Calanfers people, and when the [Diplomat] left, he rubbed at his side where Rabbiteater had given his armor a thrashing.

I might need a small drop of potion if Im going hunting or whatever this week entails! Or notIll consider the bruises a gift.

Im taking healing potion. I dont want your gifts.

Another laugh. Voloke nodded at the servants.

They reminded uspolitelythat we are first honored by visiting the Eternal Throne. I confess, Im curious to see it, but I hope to see you and the Order of Seasons at length. Calanfers welco is

He paused and glanced at Hellei and Iyr, but neither one stopped him, so Voloke went on.

Conditional upon our value as allies. They do a good job of hiding it, but Cenidau has known them six thousand years. Still, our fellow guests are reason enough to co, but I take their point. Beware the Kingdom of Kaaz, Ser Solstice. If you think were a rough lot, the lion-lords and their duels almost always end in blood. Im sure they all want a piece of you, literally.

With that, he bid them farewell, and Rabbiteater decided Cenidau was probably nice. As for Kaazhe leaned over to isa.

Whats that about Kaaz?

One of the Restful Three, the mid-northern powers. The Hearthlord isnt wrong; theyre known, among other things, for having duels to the death. The nobility are as good [Duelists] as they co; many Gold-bell fencers, there.

Oh. Like the King of Duels?

I think he studied there.

Markus put in. Rabbiteater felt that only added to Kaazs value, but he took their point about overzealous opponents. He nodded as isa warned him.

I will be careful. I never underestimate my opponents. Besides. I realize theyre dangerous. Nobles are crazy. So are most [Knights].

Rabbit!

isa looked aghast. Markus tapped his chest.

Wait, what makes us crazy, Rabbiteater? I daresay Im fairly level-headed, at least among my order.

To that, the Hobgoblin just gave them a huge grin as he walked on to find their rooms, though they couldnt see it.

Easy. Youre friends with .

The Restful Three were a hard concept for isa and Markus to explain to Rabbiteater over their walk to his rooms and even afterwards. Not just because it involved talking about their culture, heritage, and so on, but because it took him a while to get around the idea of a sleeping giant.

Giants are dead.

Yes, Rabbiteater, its a phrase from antiquity. Sleeping Giants are dangerous if they wake.

So dont wake them up. Easy.

Its an expression. Based on history!

Yeah, because you killed all the Giants. Couldnt you let them sleep?

The pointpast Rabbiteater teasing isawas this.

The Restful Three were powerful kingdoms who did not make endless wars like Ailendamus. They certainly had the capacity to, but they preferred to, well, enjoy life at the top. Not going to war earned you so concessions, and reminding your enemies and allies why you should be humored every few hundred years wasnt hard.

They were three nations, and their status as the Restful Three was also due to the fact that all three nations tended not to fight each other. Like the Dawn Concordat, but more casuallyit ant they could focus on opponents.

They had watched Ailendamus expand without doing much. Whether that was arrogance or a disinterest in ddling in the southern section of Terandriawell, their presence in Calanfer now did not make Ailendamus happy.

Three nations. Kaaz, Golaen, and Erribathe. Respectively, they were better known by their nicknas.

Kaaz, the Kingdom of the Infinite Dungeon. Because it hadthe worlds largest dungeon.

Golaen, the Half-Giants Kingdom. Notable for a lack of half-Giantsor rather, an odd take on them.

Erribathe, the Kingdom of Myth, one of the few nations that was still traceable back to the first Hundred Families of old who had settled Terandria.

Two of the representative kingdoms were already settling themselves in, and Rabbiteater saw Kaazs nobles first.

They had lions. And tigers. And other big cats. Apparently one was called a puma, and the thing looked extrely dangerous as it prowled behind a noblewoman with a serrated dueling sword who strutted along, practically inviting a duel.

Theyre touchyas touchy as Taimaguros nobles, and both Taimaguros and Kaaz have fought entire warsor killed each other over petty insults. They have only one Knight-Orderand its the strongest in the world. They have a lot of Nad-rank adventurers because of the Infinite Dungeon.

Is it really infinite?

To that, Markus could only shrug. Rabbiteater was amazed that the Spring Knight would call one other Knight Order definitively the best, but he supposed there were reasons.

No ones found the end. Like dain of Chandrar, it has sustained their nation for a long ti. As for Golaens folkwell. You can tell who they are.

How can Iwhoa.

Rabbiteater turned and blinked. Striding through the Humans gathered in the hallways cataller Humans.

Just that. They werent half-Giants. Not exactly. Moore was notably taller than everyone, and he wasgiant-ish. In the sense that you felt like no one could be that tall normally.

These? These were Humans who got as tall as eight feet. Not really nine like Moore; so were six feet tall. Six, seven, eight.

Tall Humans. Strong Humans, too; one of their leaders wore huge, tailored breeches of Wyvernhide, and he looked like he had seen a few battles from the way he walked, confidently patting people he t on the shoulder. That was it. Confidence from Golaen, and why not?

Their entire population was bigger than average. But again, they had apparently co from eting with half-Giants so long ago that they were more like justtaller Humans.

Ohand their kingdom? They had taken one spot as their ho:

The last and only city Giants had ever built. That was Golaen, who, in their way, were as brazenly arrogant as Kaaz. Indeed, whoever the [Lord] leading the group of nobles was, he was clearly talking down to a number of other dignitaries in multiple senses of the word.

Politics were weird. When the [Lord] spotted Rabbiteater, he strode over, engulfed Rabbiteaters hand in a strong grip that Rabbiteater returned mildlyhe was wearing a gauntlet, so he didnt really feel itand then tried to flip up the [Knight]s visor.

Lord Etrogaer!

isa instantly snapped as Rabbiteater batted away the hand. The [Lord] laughed hugely and patted Rabbiteater on the shoulder before turning to isa and snatching a hand to kiss it.

Ah, forgive , Da Knight! I had to try. So you are Ser Solstice! I heard you dueled our distant cousin, the Da of Hills!

Mm. She was pretty big. Youre tall yourself. Whore you?

Lord Etrogaer, a Duchal title. My class is [Titanguard] of Golaen. One of the sworn protectors of our landsnot that most monsters trouble Golaens folk. Ive wondered how many [Knights] I would have a chance to spar! Would you be interested?

Rabbiteater gave Etrogaer a blandly calm reply.

I dont think its wise. I cut off fingers.

The [Titanguard]s eyes flashed as he bared all his teeth.

If youre concerned for , Ill wear gauntlets! Co now, are you nervous?

Rabbiteater rolled his shoulders in a shrug.

Nah. But I wont duel you.

I heard you took on one of Cenidaus Hearthlords not twenty minutes ago. Have you lost your nerve suddenly?

The [Titanguard] teased him as people turned and regarded the two. Rabbiteater saw so of Kaazs nobles watching him, and he replied steadily.

Nope.

Then?

The Goblin turned and gave Lord Etrogaer a long look. He replied in a carrying tone as isa and Markus watched, tense. Well, Markus was wondering if the two ca to blowshow in the hell would he pull Etrogaer off Rabbiteater? Even with isas help? Yet Rabbiteaters stare through his visor was level and perhapsunsettling.

What did the man see? A blank visor? A hint ofsothing hidden, cloaked by magic such that you couldnt even see with light shining on the visor? But you imagined it. A disfigured face? A Drake? A Gnoll? And that voice was so calm, even with the [Titanguard]s Aura of Might bearing down on him. His felt liketo the nobles

Ho. Rabbiteater replied simply.

If I lose, youll try to take my helt off. Especially if Im unconscious.

Etrogaer laughed. He threw his head back and laughed, then clutched Rabbiteaters shoulder.

You have , Ser Knight! It was my intention from the start. I suppose thats a no?

He turned, chuckling, and Rabbiteater called out after him.

If you want to wager your life, Ill do it. But I dont fight fair.

The [Titanguard] turned, and a silence fell as Markus hand eting his face was the only audible sound for a second. Then Etrogaer strode back over, clapped Rabbiteater on the shoulder, and turned.

Now theres a [Knight] with so proper bravery! I rather like you, Ser Solstice!

Then he nodded to them and left. When he was out of earshot, Rabbiteater leaned over to the tensed isa and Markus.

I dont think he actually likes . Which is good. Because I dont like him.

isa exhaled slowly and nearly punched Ser Greysten when the Sumrs Champion clapped her and Rabbiteater on the shoulder. The older [Knight] watched the Golaen lord leave and murmured.

He might not care for soone he cant intimidate, but he respects Rabbiteater enough that he wont try that trick again. How powerful is that glue, Ser Solstice?

Rabbiteater felt at his helt.

I might have made it impossible to get off.

Ser Greysten laughed and then turned to the other two. He nodded around the bustling palace of Calanfer.

Banquets, toasts in our honor, sports like huntingCalanfer is putting on a grand reception. I dont know if its wise, but Ser Solstice is invited to everything I amincluding tonights banquet in honor of our victory against Ailendamus. We even have the chance to approach the Eternal Throne, and of all the experiences, I would say that one is the only one we must go to. Da isa, Markus, Ser Solstice, any thoughts?

The two [Knights] murmured that they too would like to see Calanfers wonders, if cautiously. As for Rabbiteater? He looked around at the fascinating nobility, the palace full of architectural marvels, and the city that people flocked to in luxury, and he raised his hand.

I think Im done. Ill go to Nadel or Pheislant and get on a ship back ho. Anyone want to go now?

Ser Greystens jaw opened, and a passing servant of Calanfer slipped and nearly toweled one of Cenidaus Hearthlords. Even so of the other eavesdroppers turned to stare.

What?

Did you just say Ser Solstice is leaving?

When Princess Seraphel heard that, she was surprised. Not because she didnt see whybut because she had never heard soone who hadnt spent at least two weeks in Calanfer say that! And he had, by all accounts, been here one hour and decided to go.

He must be having another joke. Like how, on the campaign, he kept inviting Vernoue to send a wedding invitation to Ser Venoriat on the basis that his na started with a V as well. Or to the Small Queen because she would probably accept.

Aielef laughed it off. She was having Seraphel over in a rare display of sisterly affectionand because both of them were avoiding Shardele. Vernoue had even co by, although she was reading from her spellbook as usual.

Surviving a siege had made themcloser. But even so, they were still wary allies at most. Which was a sad thing to have in a family, wasnt it?

Seraphel had never realized that until shed seen a few families up close actually loving and caring for each other. In Noelictus. Hereit was just the politics of court.

However, in this case, Aielef was on the sa page as Seraphel and Vernoue. The [Deathtouch Princess] nodded along with her younger sisteruntil one of the [Court Servants] whispered the rest of the story.

Actually, everyone thought so, Your Highnesses, and that he was making a statent. No one said any more, even when he went to the stables for a horse. It turns out he was sixteen miles south of here when he ran into more of the nobility heading up from Nadel! Ser Greysten himself rode out to bring him back!

He actually left? Why?

Aielefs fanning slowed in disbelief. The [Court Servant] said sothing unbelievable.

He said he found the Eternal Throneboring.

All three [Princesses] stared at each other. Then they stared out across the city of the Eternal Thrones seat, where, as a sign of hospitality and entertainnt, [Bakers] were making loaves of bread in the style of every single nation represented by dignitaries and passing them out for free as a festival ran through the streets. A Grand Elephant from Chandrar was slowly marching towards the nagerie, followed by a [Carpet Rider] doing tricks. Seraphel shook her head in amazent.

The odd thing wasshe didnt doubt that Ser Solstice, or Rabbiteater as she had heard his friends nickna him, was telling the truth. She was actually curious. Why boring?

isa scolded Rabbiteater for an hour on the ride back. Despite Rabbiteater pointing out reasonably that hed said he was leaving now.

How is all this boring, Rabbit? Really?

His reply was simple.

Im tired of people telling I won a battle. I know I won a battle. Im tired of eating stupid food and saying we won, good job. Its boring.

isa gave him an astounded look, but Ser Greystens was almost admiring. Becausethat was what he ant.

Rabbiteater liked celebrating victories. After theyd leveled up and beaten the Great General, Dionalla, he had mourned the dead and celebrated levels and the incredible victory. In between trying to hit Tyrion Veltras, hed drunk himself silly.

After Ailendamus, despite not taking the capital or ending the war, he had engaged in a lot of victory sex, a very important Goblinand Humantradition. On the way back, hed gladly toasted their victory with the Dawn Concordats [Generals], even shaken hands with the Griffin Queen, talked with the Griffin Prince

A week after the victory at Ailendamus, Rabbiteater had stopped chiming in every ti soone raised a mug celebrating their win. He had started staring at soft brie cheese and caviar and begun sneaking out raw potatoes and other ingredients to make snacks.

Two weeks after the glorious victory of the Dawn Concordat and Ser Solstices famous duel at the keep, Rabbiteater had begun avoiding parties. He had, twice, taken a look at charcuterie boards being set up and accidentally let so of the warhounds in to eat their pick. Or grabbed a bunch of regular ants and dumped them on the board.

This was week three. Three weeks of celebrating, being cheered everywhere he went, and told what a glorious battleif underhandedhed won. Fighting with the Archmage of mory! Riding with the Princess Seraphel!

Enough! The Goblin found it insulting. He liked celebrating wins. Goblins loved that. But there was sothingrepulsive about how the Humans were doing it.

Redfangs? Redfangs celebrated a huge battle. Theyd do up to four days straight of enjoying themselves depending on how much leisure theyd had. Talk about it for the weekthen bring it up reminiscing around fires or on the march.

But they didnt glorify like this. If Rabbiteater had gone back to The Wandering Inn right this second, Erins Minotaur Punch might be a drink he ordered once a year as opposed to what felt like every day.

If this is how much you celebrate two battles, how are you going to win the war? Youre still at war.

Yes, but the Order of Seasons is pressing the attack. And Wellfars ships have engaged Ailendamus fleetswithout Taimaguros, they are being harried in smaller engagents by multiple armies! We have earned a break to let other [Knights] win a fair share of the glory and do their part, Rabbit.

isa pointed out in what she clearly thought was a reasonable tone. Rabbiteater just gave her a blank look. He flexed one arm.

Im still healthy. Im not hurt. Either I fightor I go ho. I dont want to celebrate. I dont want to talk to dignitaries. I dont want to eat your stupid food!

He almost shouted the last part. And of all the fair complaintsthat last one was apparently the line in the sand that everyone started arguing with him about.

Our food isnt bad, Rabbiteater.

Yes it is.

You have been feasting on the best dishes we can imagine! I myself havent eaten so well inwell, ages! Every kind of delicacy!

Rabbiteater clutched his stomach and made a vomiting sound in his helt as Greysten and isa argued with him.

Too many cheeses. Brie. Cambert. Blue cheese. Gruyre. Chervrot. Its rotten milk. It has mold. And you eat guts!

Guts? Ohis this about the tripe again? I told you

Its guts.Goblins dont eat guts if they can avoid it!

Tripe offended Rabbiteater to his very bowels, and it was his bowels that he feared when he saw the dishes that nobles thought were good.

Tripe! He hadnt known what it was, butget thisit was stomach lining, internal organs which the nobility ate because it was apparently expensive and high-class. They ate it in sauce. They ate it in sausages. They ate it in soup.

That wasnt even the worst of it. Rabbiteater folded his arms.

You eat stupid at, too.

Rabbithow is our at stupid?

Its got no bones. Its all pri this, fatty tenderloin that. But you dont even like the fat!

Well, no, we like the actual at, not the fat

Unless you drizzle it over a roast and eat it with all that other stuff! And your vegetables suck!

We have plenty of rare

Yellats! Where are Yellats?

The Goblin was throwing a fit on his horse. His horse got to eat Yellats, but not one for the Goblin in the last three weeks! isa replied faintly.

Welltheyre a cheap vegetable, by and large.

Cheap is good! My butt leaks every ti I eat your mushy, stupid food! The [Princesses] dont even eat potatoes! Aielef didnt even know what it was when I showed her one! I want to go ho. Ill eat Yellats and salad. I want a burger. I want

He felt a catch in his throat as they rode through the citys gates. Rabbiteater looked around, and it ca to him in a word. This glorious city filled with wondershe would have been a thousand tis happier if he were ho, riding into Liscors gates, being turned away by the guard, and going to that inn on a hill. Then hed sit down, and soone would offer him so, perhaps, unspiced, unsauced spaghetti, it was true. But it ca with a smile. And he would be

Ho.

He had never felt hosick. Not even when he and the other Goblins had gone on their dangerous mission to slay an [Innkeeper]. That was becausehis tribe had been ho, and in another sense, hed never had a ho. But now, the feeling engulfed him, and it was the one foe, the one battle that Ser Solstice could never win.

isa looked at him, and it was Greysten who clapped Rabbiteater on the shoulder.

Youve said it plain enough for it to even get into our helts, Ser Solstice. One day. One day and we have an audience with the Eternal Throne. Regardless, it would look poorly on us if you left. And I assure youone day and you will see a wondrous sight. I would not want you to miss it. As for ho? We can find you passage, despite the war at sea.

Rabbiteater relaxed slightly. He nodded gratefully, but he didnt miss how isa failed to chi in. He looked at her and then wondered.

In all his talk of going ho, of seeing Erin alive and showing her Izril, finding the Redfangs and seeing Rags anddoing what he could do, isa had listened and talked with him. But she had never promised him she would be there, not exactly. isa was a [Knight], and she did not make promises she didnt know if she could keep.

Princess Seraphel du Marquin was ho. And it wasnt ho. She wanted to go ho as well, but ho

Ho was not here. Ho was, perhaps, a small, quiet keep in a village in Noelictus. Ho was walking with a singing girl and a ghost of a [Knight] under clouded skies.

Ho was gone, and it was an idea. But even if she had a ho

It was not here.

Oh, how quickly she fell back into being in the castle. It never left you. Once you had beco a [Princess] and experienced what it was to be a [Princess]you would never forget, even if you thought it was for the best.

For instance. Seraphel could cough, touch her throat. This was by herself without being in the company of her personal servants. Shed never had many, and they hadnt been hers, not in any loyal, aningful sense. The rest had left after her marriage. But even so, while standing in the hallway of the palace, she could touch her throat, cough, and say, Im thirsty.

Two minutes later, a servant raced forwards with a cup of cherry juice, her favorite.

For you, Your Highness. Apologies for the delay!

Seraphel accepted the cup. She sipped from the straw, finished a quarter, decided she wasnt that thirsty, and held out the glass. Instantly, she let go, and soone took it such that it didnt shatter on the floor.

Now, this was not an unheard-of maneuver. People handed each other things all the ti. But that was not what Seraphel did. She stopped drinking from the straw, then, in the sa motion, pulled the glass of cherry juice away from her body and released it.

She did not perform the ntal calculation of making sure soone else had a hold of the glass. She let go with the certainty that soone would catch it or they would lose their job. And in the sa breath, a cup of water was offered that she might ensure her teeth werent stained red and a napkin for her mouth.

Only after Seraphel had absently partaken in a sip of water and napkin pat did she catch herself and feelwell, ashad. She looked back and saw a [Servant] stepping away with the cup of cherry juice and water.

More, Your Highness? Another beverage?

Instantly, the servant halted and ca back, and Seraphel looked at so mousey hair, neatly combed and glistening, a young girls face of fourteen, wearing Calanfers bright livery. She lookednot apprehensive, just ready. Ready to get whatever Seraphel asked.

No. II shall finish the drink. What do you all do, if I dont finish it?

The [Servant] blinked at being addressed. It was, perhaps, the first ti any mber of the royal family had ever spoken to her. So [Princesses] and the [Princes] had their favorite servants, but this wasnt usual. She stuttered.

Iwe dispose of the contents, Your Majesty.

Not drink it or use it?

No, absolutely not!

The response was a bit too quick that ti, and Seraphel wondered if one of the few perks of waiting on a [Princess] was sneaking a bit of unwanted cake. She thought of how many tis she had left a al unfinished.

It had never occurred to her that there was a finite limit of food until shed been in a siege and beenhungry. Nor to look at servants faces except to see if they were badmouthing her or malicious. Seraphel looked at the cup and shook her head.

I shouldnt mind either way. Thank you?

She waited, and the girl realized Seraphel was waiting for her na.

Beacle, Your Highness.

Beacle. Thank you.

Seraphel nodded, and the [Servant] bowed.

We are honored to serve, Your Highness. Your bravery in Calanfers na was an inspiration to us all.

Did she add that in the hopes that it made Seraphel look kindly on her? Perhaps she thought Seraphel had taken an interest in her as a personal servant? Or was it because she thought that the conversation warranted it?

These thoughts ran through Seraphels mind at once until a simpler one presented itself. She looked into the girls eyes and saw a shining admiration so genuine it didnt belong in Calanfer. Perhaps the poor girl just ant it. Of her.

Thank you, Miss Beacle.

Seraphel whispered. And thenas the [Servant] retreated, bowingSeraphel looked around.

Oh, I shouldnt have co back.

Even if her na were brighter in the books of the palace staffeven if she had leveled, and found more of herselfSeraphel du Marquin sighed and walked on, head heavy.

Ho was a wonderful idea. But you could never go ho exactly how you wanted. And worst, in another sense

Ho never changed.

Seraphel. We understand youve consolidated your class into a rather unfitting advancent for a [Princess] of Calanfer. Your luck in interfering in the battle at Krawlnmaks Pass notwithstanding, we would have hoped for sothing moreuniversally tolerable. Alas, Noelictus affairs may have rubbed off on you. But we are pleased to note your value as a bride has restored itself sowhat.

The unfortunate class was [Deathtouch Princess]. And the point, while delivered bluntlyeven in private, even between the royal familywasnt wrong.

It was hard to find a Terandrian who wouldnt associate that class with necromancy, and that was hated the continent over. It was also not wrong to say that Seraphel had endangered the battlefield by riding to inspire Calanfers forces.

Justit was also true that Seraphel had leveled up, a difficult feat for a [Princess]. Shed just passed Aielef. And she had helped win a pivotal battle in the war?

Seraphel thought of saying these things. And pointing out her value as a bride was diminished by three marriageswas there a stopping point? But she said none of these things. She said

Hello, Mother.

To which Queen Ielane du Marquin, one of the two rulers of Calanfer, sitting in repose in her drawing room, studying a catalog of dishes for tomorrows breakfastfinally looked up. She was, as always, flawless in both her fashion and posture. Her dress had brilliant overtones like exploding spells across a more somber hem, tinged with blood and flowers, to commorate the dead. Her hair was fashioned into braids that ran around her head and beca a bun at the back, and the crown was perfectly placed, shining with protective spells and a soft golden light.

Her skin? Perfect, and not even Shardele could best her for makeup. But then, the Eternal Queen and the Eternal King should look the part, and Ielane was the model which her daughters emulated, not surpassed.

Not yet. Perhaps one would when she died, but she had perfect diction, perfect poise, and she did not forget nas or make mistakes.

In public. In private, she pursed her lips.

Yes, hello, Seraphel. We are extrely pleased to see you if that was not implicit. Sit.

She said it in the way that hinted that it was uncouth of Seraphel to intimate that any of this had been up for debate, hellos or not. She gestured, and Seraphel sat.

Even in private, it was all of Calanfer, politics and power-plays. For instance, the chair that Ielane indicated was not comfortable. It was not backed with anything soft, and it hurt your bottom the instant you sat in it. It looked quite expensive and regal, but it was a nightmare to relax in.

Her children had learned it was both a test and power-play of its own. When they were good, they sat in comfortable chairs. But even if they were sitting here, they should never look uncomfortable. If they were clever, they might arrange for another chair to be there.

It was the sa trick Calanfers rulers and diplomats played on their opponents, even allies. Seraphel had forgotten about the damn chair. Even if shed remberedshe just sat there. Her face wasnt as carefully polite-blank as she had been taught. She rubbed at her back, and Ielane frowned at her.

Are you so kind of invalid or have you pulled every muscle after riding into battle?

Seraphel sat up silently.

It was a long ride into the city.

The excuse didnt really pass water, but Ielane nodded as she tapped an item on the catalog. Her personal [Handmaiden] took a note, and Ielane flipped a page, searching for more dishes.

So we note. Shardele has already retired to her sanctum and, to judge from reports, has consud eighteen grams of Dreamleaf.

Seraphel kept her face straight.

Shes leveled up her hobby.

Ielane flicked her off-hand, which was holding a long, thin puffer of its own and drifting with smoke. It was a sign of approval, like a smile, but a quirk of the lips was the real good stuff. She inhaled and exhaled from the cigar softly.

None of the commonfolkor even the courtknew that she smoked anything. That was a weakness, and Ielanes own children had mostly passed their majorities before they found out.

That wit, Seraphel, is exactly why I hoped you would do well in Avel. Alas, war ends all dreams. Ailendamus, once again. And your sharp tongue becos an asset. A battle-capable [Princess], with uniqueinsights. That is how we shall fra it. Who knows? If you reach Level 30, we may have a considerable increase in the quality of suitor.

She tapped another item from the nu, and Seraphel sat there. Her mother, Ielane, was one of the most impressive people Seraphel knew. She personally dictated so banquets, and she knew what dishes contained allergic or undesirable foods for her guests. She played politics so well that Reclis, her husband, Seraphels father, often turned to her when he needed the steadiest hand at the negotiating table, and people took the Queen of Calanfer for granted all the ti.

Stilleven before leaving ho for so many years, Seraphel had never aspired to be her mother. Ielane waswhat Seraphel had once told Cara OSullivan her vision of a ruler was.

She was a tool to fit Calanfers needs. She hid her hobbies, did what she needed to keep the kingdom running and prosperous. She had her wants, her desires, and she used her power to get thembut if she molded the kingdom, the kingdom molded back.

Ielane had taught her sons and daughters, but her daughters especially, that they would one day be married. It was a fact, and it would serve Calanfer, and that was not the end of their service to Calanfer. She spoke of Seraphels failed marriage to Noelictus and future ones not aschores, or burdens, but opportunities.

It shall help Calanfer. So why worry about anything else? Seraphel rembered the blank stare she had received when she had protested her second marriage to Ielanes face.

Nothing you can do will matter more, my dear. Anything you wish to do can co after.

What is your exact class and Skills? I have the transcript, but if you would care to add anything to the royal archive?

She knew Seraphels new levels and class and Skills. She had probably known before Seraphel woke up and heard the announcent. Not that Ielanes Skills told her exactly what her daughters hadit told her their relative value in terms of dowry or connection.

I have several new Skills. One reputation-related. The other waspurple.

Seraphel hesitated, and Ielanes brows rose. She took another puff from her cigar.

Authority-related. Proceed.

It hadnt used to feel soraw. Sharing her private levels and accomplishnts. Ielane jotted down notes, like she jotted down secrets of state, carefully, asking questions.

Seraphels Skills. They were nurous, and even for a class consolidation for a [Princess]rather impressive, if sowhat controversial.

[Ghosts Hand].

[Hearts of Courage].

[Reputation: Infamy, Now My Fa].

[Royal Bodyguard: Two of Life, Two of Death].

[Induction: Royal Bodyguard].

[Lesser Toughness].

[Ghosts Hand] is unknown in our lexicon. The exact nuances of your version of [Royal Bodyguard] are unknown, but seem straightforward, sadly. At best, we could make it so kind of theddeath-type Golem? At least the [Bards] will have an easier ti with your reputation, indeed. Battle and protection-the. It may play well in Kaliv, or elsewhere. Do you know what [Ghosts Hand] does?

And here, Seraphel rebelled. For the first ti since she was seventeen, she truly pushed back in a small way.

No, unfortunately.

Ielane waved away a bit of smoke.

We will have a tutor investigate. Do you have two favorite Thronebearers to pick?

Seraphel didnt need to think.

Ser Dalimont andDa Neranthei.

She nad the Thronebearer who still served her and had gone to participate in Caras music video. Ielanes brows rose only slightly.

Good. Let us hope you can na the two without so undead. If not? Perhaps the Skill will function if the two undead are seperated. If not, we must play the Noelictus angle. Does anyone know of the Skill?

She was going to tell Seraphel to keep it quiet. Ielane didnt think her daughter would ever give away secret knowledge of Calanferand her levels were thatbut again, Seraphel rebelled.

Ithe Order of Seasons and the Goblin Slayer know about my Skills.

Seraphel didnt know why she said that. It was just petty. And sohow, a joy to see her mothers face as those two level eyes rose and a note of exasperation entered Ielanes voice.

Why?

Because they were present, and Ser Ilm, a [Mage Knight], accidentally cast [Appraisal] on . My tiara was out of protective power.

Seraphel lied to her mothers face. Which she could do because she was wearing wards against truth spells. Her tiara. But it could run out of power. Ielane stared at Seraphel over the catalog and then resud smoking.

They took it normally?

They were aware of the Noelictus connection, and Ser Solstice isunique.

So Aielef reported. And Vernoue, who wishes to marry Archmage Eldavin, the Falls Sentinel, and Magus Grimalkin of Pallass. If she had a chance of the first in any real way, we would extend the invitation. As for the secondmore interesting, but doubtful. Possible, depending on the outco of our unofficial summit. For the last? Aha. No. We think she would marry Ser Solstice as well, but she was wise enough not to say that. Your sisters antics have put nonsense in so of your younger siblings heads.

Lyonette. Even now, Ielane didnt ntion her outright, which showed how angry she probably was. Seraphel saw none of it behind the perfect mask. More perfect than their guests from the Kingdom of Incantations, Tourvecall. Seraphel wondered how Ielane would do in the rumored Court of Masks in Ailendamus.

How is?

Alive. Promiscuous. Rebellious as usual, but she has leveled outstandingly. Da Ushar did not gain a complete picture of how much, butsignificantly. Perhaps in a rare class. She is refusing to return ho, and we have allowed it given the circumstances. Your man, Dalimont, has apparently proven himself quite well nurous tis.

Promiscuous? Had Lyonette broken the cardinal rule of a [Princess]? WellSeraphel hoped shed made it worth it. But Ielane didnt want to talk about Lyonette.

Ser Solstice. Do you know what lies behind the helt?

No.

Mm. Good. Whatever it is, we would prefer it to remain a secret. Instinct tells us we would prefer not to know.

Now that was fascinating. Ielane seldom did things without a good reason, but the fact that she wanted Ser Solstice to remain maskedshe tapped the cigar, and so ash fell into a tray expertly held out at the right mont.

Extrely helpful, that one. Potentially troubleso, but cannier than Golaens bullies or Kaazs troublemakers. A consummate warrior. If he can be persuaded to stayno, I would rather not deal with whatever lies under that mask. An honorable guest.

More and more fascinating. Ielane had a kind of sixth sense around trouble. If she wanted Ser Solstice goneSeraphel was more curious still. But the Queen dwelled on him, a rarity. She frowned at her catalog, snapped her fingers, and spoke.

Dinner.

Another catalog was placed in front of her. This should have already been set, but Ielane went over it again. She spoke out of the corner of her mouth.

What kind of eating habits does this Ser Solstice have?

He

Does not remove his helt. Of course.

No, but I have seen him sip drinks, and hes made plates of food. He eats mostly anything, I think. Including bugs. Hes lived in the wilderness.

Intriguing. Odd. We haveno delicate insects? No, we do have fried crickets for Drathians. So why

Ielane paged through the catalog, frowning. Then she closed it.

Strange. However, not worth the effort.

What is, Mother?

The [Queen] glanced up at Seraphel.

We cannot locate a satisfactory dish among the catalogs of our [Chefs]. Perhaps he is indisposed; his mood being contrary to any dish would do that.

She could sense whatever made her guests happy. So Ser Solstice wasnt going to love tonights dinner? Seraphel was nodding as Ielane glanced at one of the traditional sun-clocks. She stood.

I must greet Cenidaus representatives with His Majesty. He sends you his congratulations. Please select a present for yourself, but be mindful that we are at war. I expect we shall see each other at tonights banquet and other events. We shall speak after all the greetings to our diplomats and heroes of war are concluded.

And like that, she was rising, moving behind a privacy screen to change into appropriate attire, a five-minute process with her experienced staffand out the room before the next five minute interval. Seraphel sat there.

The eting with her mother was over. Fifteen whole minutes. She coughed, and soone offered her a cup of tea instantly.

Naturally, if she had wanted sothing to drink, Ielane expected Seraphel would have requested it. Naturally, she had to go. Ielanes day was cut up into fifteen minute chunks, and while her younger daughter, Ellet, still needed good portions of the day, her elder daughters could take care of themselves.

It was the most approving that Ielane had been in a while. Probably because Seraphel hadnt objected or protested, but just gotten down to business. The [Princess] wouldnt see her mother outside of public eventswhich were obviously stagedfor at least a day or two, and they didnt need to et.

It was done. Her father was even more abrupt, but he sotis talked about philosophy, so you could sit there an hour or two while he grilled you for your perspective on things. Seraphel sat in the dressing room as servants cleared up. It was only after a while that one of them, the very sa Beacle from earlier, glanced up.

Seraphel du Marquin sat in the uncomfortable chair, perfect posture, her face perfectly composedwhich was to say, engaged, attentive, not just a blank maskher lips almost parted as if waiting for soone to finish their thought before she replied. She stared ahead, and it was a perfect act worthy of any [Princess] of Calanfer.

The only change, the change in Seraphel, in ho and how she lived in itwere the two streaks of tears running down her cheeks and her chin. They dripped into her lap as she wept.

The only people having less of a pleasant ti in Calanfer than Ser Solstice and Princess Seraphel were the representatives from Ailendamus.

Noble nations of Terandria understood that while war was war, in many cases, there was still room for diplomacy right until the enemy soldiers were battering the door down. Obviously, the lives of [Diplomats] sotis were tossed into the mix as hostagesbut Ailendamus was currently on the back foot.

They were facing multiple hostile nations raiding and attacking from various sides, and while the Kingdom of Glass and Glory was a powerhouse, their [Diplomat] had orders to throw a wrench into Calanfers pact making, lest they form a coalition. Oh, and also to report back on any clandestine affairs and endear Ailendamus to any potential allies abroad. Find a chink in the unified hostility.

All this for four poor [Diplomats]. They might as well have been asked to fly. Calanfer might be sothing of a laughingstock on the battlefieldat least until recentlybut the Thronebearers were famously dangerous off the practice courts.

And they were an.

Woolen sheets misplaced for your silks. Soup that was never hot. While you were walking over to shake hands with Nadels [Coastwarden] top [Ambassadors], you tripped and tossed half your plate of food into their hair.

Let alone the actual Skills. [Distracting Cough] didnt sound baduntil, in the middle of an earnest speech, you and you alone heard the loudest, wettest cough in your ear and lost your train of thought.

Needless to say, the diplomatic wing in Calanfer was miserable, and they were relieved that they were rotated out monthly. Although it had been a lot more fun when Ailendamus was pressing in through Kaliv and they were treated like horned Demonsbut treated very well, mind you.

Their [Diplomat of Envy] hadnt been prepared for this. He was a man used to touring Taimaguros, fifty years old, and his Skills included showing off Ailendamus largesse. After his first night of running into hostile house cats during a midnight stroll, the man practically begged to be let go to the capital.

He had a personal connection to the crown, obviously. He could call up Ailendamus [Generals] at need, and the Kingdom of Glass and Glory was not blind; their [Ambassadors] sotis weighed in on military affairs with a loud enough voice to rein in [Generals] if they thought the political battle would outweigh the military one.

However, it was the Duke, Rhisveri himself, who told the [Diplomat] he would be staying.

Your Grace, there is no chance we will call an end to the war without the Dawn Concordat feeling as though it is pressed back! I am well aware of our military capabilities. Our foes are viewing this as a decade-long war. They may well change their minds in a year.

The [Diplomat of Envy] knew full well that the Dawn Concordat was bleeding from the bloody war. Ailendamus was toothey had lost Dionalla. However, there was a difference between the size and economy of both nations. Ailendamus could replace their lost armies. In ti, Calanfer would stop preening its feathers and look up to see more legions of [Knights].

He felt, strongly, that he didnt need to suffer in the interim. Especially because of how damn hard it was to make friends with all these nations enjoying Ailendamus mont of weakness. HoweverRhisveris reply was curious.

I do not expect you to work wonders, Diplomat Corek. I never do.

Slightly rude, Your Grace?

Coreks impishness and his backsass sotis won him points in Taimaguros, where the people, including Queen Oesca, appreciated a feisty retort no matter who you were. Rhisveris voice just turned from ice to ever-frozen tundra.

You are not there to cease the war. Even if they nibble at our borders, ti will overturn this setback. Rather, I want you to investigate why the Restful Three are moving.

Kaaz, Golaen, and Erribathe. Corek assud that was obvious; they had co for the spectacle. If nothing else, Calanfer were excellent hosts for their friends, and this was tweaking Ailendamus nose. But Rhisveris opinion was different.

They have sent their Hundredlords and Golaens [Titanguard]. This is no re entertainnt. Do you know who is coming from Erribathe?

Thats a tightly-guarded secret, Your Grace. I would assu only Calanfers crown has any inkling

The Heir Apparent, Prince Iradoren, is set to appear tonight or tomorrow.

Corek fell quiet. His eyes flickered, and his heartbeat picked up. He knew the speaking spells were top-quality and never had been broken by hostile mages, but he checked his connection and ward spells anyways.

Are you certain, Your Grace?

My intelligence is not ever in error. This is no charade or worthless pageantry. Sothing has caused the Restful Three to move. If they arefoolishlyconsidering war, I want to know. Now. I dont believe they are. If so, I would have noticed their forces moving. Sothing else is up. Find out. I will replace you the instant you do.

Was that a threat or an incentive? Corek decided it was an incentive. He wondered what it could be. Perhaps the ghosts that had co across Terandria? If so

He wondered what theyd said. Corek stared at his speaking stone. Then, groaning, he prepared himself for a terrible banquet in isolation. His only consolation was that at least he could enjoy so good food. He was, after all, a social, charming man if given the chance.

And that was the difference between a consummate [Diplomat] and, say, a Goblin. Or even Seraphel du Marquin. One person lived to talk, make connections, and, frankly, wanted to be friendly.

Seraphelwas all too aware how rcantile most relationships were. She, like every single [Princess] and [Prince], had gone through an experience growing up where she made friends with soone, only to find out that friendship was highly conditional.

In Seraphels case, shed had a best friend, a certain Lady Erreta du Havrington, whom she had positively adored. They had gossiped, visited each other nonstop despite the distance between Calanfer and Pheislantand Seraphel had refused to believe Erreta was actually just cozying up to her.

Even when her mother had told her to her face that Erreta was stealing secrets and badmouthing Seraphel behind her back, the young [Princess] had stood by her friend.

So, Ielane had arranged for Erreta to accidentally make so pointed comnts with her true friends in the walls of Calanfers palace. Seraphel had listened behind a fake wall and

Well. Ielane had let her stay away from court for two weeks. She had sympathy for her daughters when they experienced this lesson. It was a vital lesson in trust. Sotis you had to learn it as many as four tis.

But after that, ah, lets just say that even the most charming [Courtier] didnt exactly sweep Seraphel off her feet. She knew anything she said would be used against her and any promises would co back to bite her.

That was why [Princesses] enjoyed the company of people they knew. Orpeople who were simply too honest to really exist in Calanfers reality.

Ser Greysten was one such. The fiery Sumrs Champion was like a breath of fresh sumrs air at tis. The entire Order of Seasons were straightforward by and large; even their Autumn Knights only played the ga of intrigue as obligation demanded.

Ser Solstice was another. Seraphel might have been long from ho, but she knew how to tug on Calanfers rumor-nets. So shed heard that, already, Princess Aielef had invited Ser Solstice, Ser Markus, and a host of other [Knights] to her chambers.

The odds of this being another affair were low. Aielef disappeared for her not-so-secret encounters. She was likely pursuing her other hobby and commorating the victorious siege of her keep.

However, even the servants didnt know that, and so the act just bolstered Ser Solstice and his friends reputations. Already, people were reminding themselves that Da Talia was related both to the Gas at Daquin and thus the Titan of Baleros and her brother, Wil Kallinad, of great note! Not much was known, scandalous or otherwise, about Da isa and Ser Ilm. Fine, stalwart warriors.

Ser Markus, on the other hand, was apparently sothing of a ladies man. The rumor was that you shouldnt get behind a closed door with him.

Seraphel supposed that was a Spring Knight for you. Alwayslibidinous. Did that go against his knightly vows? Shed heard of promiscuous [Monks], so anything was possible.

Anyways, Seraphel wasnt looking forwards to the banquet. She would not be talking with the Order of Seasons; even the redoubtable Sumrs Champion and Ser Solstice would be sitting far back from the true nobility. Shed be talking with Golaens giants and have a crick in her neck all evening. Or trying not to start an honor-duel with one of Kaazs maniacs.

Let it not be Taimaguros. I heard one of their [Ladies] bit the nose off soone who offended her. At a tea party!

Maybe Noelictus envoys. Yes, that would just be like Ielane to sit Seraphel with people she could at least talk to. The [Princess] brightened up. Then she finally found what she was looking for.

She had been walking through the palaces rich corridors, each one unique and so on and so forth. But they were all filled with servants, and servants watched and gossiped. There were few places you could find that were totally private.

However, a [Princess] who had lived here forever knew so. Ironically, the Eternal Throneroom itself was a great hiding spot since it was so vast. But there were a few other places.

Like the third kitchens. The third set of kitchens, each one capable of holding countless [Chefs], which only began churning out food when the first two were being used.

This one wasnt activeyet. It would be in about an hour, for the desserts to co out fresh. Howeverthe trick was that until then, aside from people restocking or checking the pantries, no one would be here. And there were a lot of hallways and servants corridors.

Soany good [Princess] knew that if she wanted a snack that Ielane wouldnt approve of, she ca here. All the sweets were here because this was where desserts were made.

Thus, Seraphel found herself a prepared cone of gelato, the rich iced cream that had taken Terandria by storm. Soone had decorated this one with a glaze of cherry and covered the top with little, brilliantly glowing bits of sugar mixed with sothing that shone like a little, magical yellow firefly in the dim kitchen.

A glowing ice cream cone, a red-glazed swirl shining with little stars. Seraphel admired it for a full eight seconds before she greedily took a bite of the tip.

Alright, there were a few perks of being ho. She knew that so poor [Chef] had probably prepared these as one of the star treats. And yes, even a [Princess] could get in trouble for eating ice creaspecially the royal desserts.

That was why, when Seraphel heard the quiet clack of heels on stone, she froze. She whirled, put the cone behind her back as she stood against the back of one of the enchanted iceboxesand soone walked into the kitchens, shedding their Cloak of Balshadow.

Vernoue, the 5th Princess, froze when she saw Seraphel. She and two younger, magically-inclined [Ladies] of Calanfer had been giggling and tiptoeing into the kitchensuntil they saw Seraphel.

Seraphel!

Vernoue, you sneak! You nearly gave a heart-attack!

? What are you here for?

The two hissed at each other as the younger [Ladies] bowed hurriedly. But Seraphel didnt care about them. She glanced at Vernoues Cloak.

You idiot, Vernoue! You dont take guests here! Youll get all of us caught! You always get in trouble, and I refuse to go down with you!

What? Im not the one going around unenchanted! I use magic!

Vernoue hissed back, cheeks reddening. Seraphel rolled her eyes and snapped back.

Thats why you get caught, you fool!

There was nothing more obvious than an invisible cloak and three not-so-subtle young won trying to share it. Seraphel whirled and tried to yank the fridge door open, but she heard the next footfalls before she got the thick door open. Ice cream cone in hand, she whirled as Vernoue squeaked and tried to put the cloak back on

Too late.

Here ca a third [Princess]. And it was none other thanSeraphel groaned, and Vernoue glared defiantly.

Here we are, Mother. As I said, your mysterious dessert thieves are up to their tricks.

Shardele, you bitch!

Vernoue shouted. Or tried to, because that last word vanished into the air. No one swore around Her Majesty.

Queen Ielane du Marquin seed displeased to see her daughter again. Especially here. Ielane and several of her servants stared at Seraphel and Vernoue as a triumphant Shardele led her into the hiding spot of [Princesses].

Well, you seem to be correct, Shardele. Vernoue. Seraphel. Your explanation?

Ielane was not pleased to find her daughters were responsible for more than a few expensive desserts vanishing before their ti. However, that was nothing to the 4th and 5th [Princesses] glares of hatred towards Shardele.

Shardele the Radiant. If Seraphels red hair, like Lyonettes, was naturally fiery, and Aielef had to dye hers, Shardele was more like an orange sunburst. She wore hers straight behind her, the ends decorated with glowing crystals, and her dresses were always dreamy and light, often enchanted to float around her.

All to play up her image of the wonders of the Eternal Throne. Sotis you could even see beautiful light or feel as though you stood on a vast horizon made of clouds. Of coursethat was because her Skills let you see so of the visions she had while smoking dreamleaf.

However, she was also the eldest sister. And never a pettier tyrant existed. She must have been so angry about the other [Princesses] laughing at her that she had gone to the most drastic option!

You craven traitor. Ill see you dead for this. Seraphel mouthed the words. Every [Princess], from Aielef towell, not Ellet, she was so young she got treats whenever she askedevery [Princess] had the third kitchens as a sanctuary!

But Shardeles vacuous look of triumph was still earned because Seraphels ice cream cone was slowly lting behind her. And Ielane glanced pointedly at Vernoues friends.

We were just going for a walk, Mother.

Yes. I enjoy my privacy.

We do not have ti for lies. Vernoue, you are holding your Cloak of Balshadow. A servant saw and heard you talking about sampling the desserts on your way here. We would believe Seraphels wordswhat is behind your back, Seraphel?

Shardeles eyes flickered with triumph. Seraphel exhaled, raised her handsand showed her mother two bare hands.

Vernoues eyes bulged almost as much as Shardeles. Hadnt Seraphel just been holding? But Ielane nodded.

She did not exactly seem convinced of Seraphels innocence, but she turned her wrath on Vernoue instead. Seraphel kept her face straight, wincing, as Vernoues allowance for spellbooks and magical items was revoked for two months. As for ShardeleIelane did not stay long.

If any more desserts are found missing, we will have each of our daughters report to us without their tiaras. Shardeleco. Cenidau is waiting.

Ill hex you in your sleep!

Vernoue hissed as Shardele waved at them. Seraphel just locked eyes with her eldest sister, and Shardele gave her a vaguely miffed look. Her lips moved, and she swept out with Ielane.

The magical [mo] appeared in front of Seraphel monts thereafter.

I thought wed find you with a face buried in a al, as always. Love, Shardele.

Seraphel calmly tore up the note. She turned to Vernoue, who was red-faced and looked ready to cry.

Shardele. Have you done anything to her recently, Vernoue?

No! I may have pointed out how much she spends on her hobby, and father and mother cut her allowance because were at war

Ah. You idiot.

Seraphel sighed. Vernoue gloweredthen turned abruptly. Her two friends were practically in tears and didnt see Seraphel stepping back over to the fridgeor hear their conversation behind privacy spells.

How did you hide that gelato? You dont have a bag of holding!

For answer, Seraphel simply walked over to the closed, and now locked, fridge. She eyed the magical padlock. Then she stuck her hand through the door and pulled out the almost untouched ice-cream cone.

Vernoues eyes went round. Seraphel winked at her.

New Skill. Mother doesnt know how it works. [Ghostly Hand].

Ghostlythats incredible, Seraphel! Does it hurt? Can you make anything larger intangible?

Nothing as big as a chair. Only sothing I can hold comfortably. And before you ask, I need a hole behind the wallI cant just insert a rock into a solid brick wall. But I wont be halted from having desserts. Just so long as they store them close to the front.

Lucky you. No one else will be getting snacks.

Vernoues face turned dark with anger. Shardele had poisoned the communal well of sweetswhich was like her because she had the smallest sweet-tooth. It would co back to bite her, though; her sisters would not let this go unpunished. If people knew Seraphel as having a sharp tongue, well, nisi and Aielef were vicious.

At any rate, her mood was ruined, and so Seraphel handed Vernoue the ice cream.

Here. A bribe. You might as well get sothing after this debacle. I will see youelsewhere.

Vernoue brightened up. She took the cone, gave Seraphel a kiss on the cheek, and hurried off with her friends. As for Seraphelher stomach rumbled, and she sighed. Then she reached back into the fridge.

Whats this? Oh. Oh. Is this tapioca pudding? Custard tapioca pudding!

Dont mind if she did. Especially now that she had complete plausible deniability. Even Ielane made mistakes. And hers was not knowing how many desserts had been pilfered before shed put a lock on the fridge. This might be Seraphels last free run on gelato.

So, if you could eat one pudding, why not two? And another ice cream cone. This one was peppermint.

Rabbiteater was upset. He hated the stupid food. He hated the banquet. But most of all

He hated the food.

In fact, Ser Markus found isa loitering outside of one of the restrooms in Calanfer, calling out to Rabbiteater.

Rabbithow long is it going to be? Its not even the third course!

Go away. This is your fault.

It was definitely Rabbiteater in there. Ser Markus hesitated since it was, well, the toilets.

A word on lavatories in Terandria. Of all the aspects of the Eternal Throne of Calanfer, the one area where they might fall behind another city wasplumbing. The Eternal Throne had plumbing in its capital, but nowhere near the level of a Drake city.

A lot of households outside the capital just used traditional outhouses. While the nobility had toilets, so were, uhmanually emptied.

Not the ones in the capital! Nossir. Howeverif you understood how hard pipelines were to layespecially amidst enchanted stone, which could not be replaced or easily alteredyou might understand why there was a toilet problem.

So of the guestrooms had personal toilets, but there were also communal ones. Why did this matter? Well, Pallass could afford and create internal plumbing for all. Calanfer?

Calanfer had toilet stalls for its many servants and guests. Quite a lotand one Goblin was currently sitting in one having a bad ti.

They were nice toilets. Porcelain, not wood where you risked a splinter. There was the scent of sothing in the air, an orchid, probably, and even washing basins with gold-plated knobs. Not that Rabbiteater was going to see them any ti soon.

Sothing wrong with our Ser Solstice, isa?

Hes protesting. He made it through two courses before he hid himself here.

No Im not. I told you. Your food is bad.

Ser Markus hesitated. A toilet was not a place for knightlyanything. Everyone had to do their business, but most preferred to act as though no one ever perford a bowel movent. He had never read a story where the [Hero] stopped behind a bush before fighting a Dragon.

Unfortunately, Rabbiteater had a tendency to bring reality into a lot of situations. isa opened her mouth to demand he co out of therewhen a terrible sound made both her and Markus recoil.

Dead gods.

Markus promptly put his fingers in his ears and wished he had a nose plug. isa hesitated.

Was that you, Rabbiteater?

Yes. Your food is bad!

Oh dear, I think hes not actually lying, isa. What did he, uheat?

Markus muttered. isa hesitated.

The problem wasRabbiteater had been enjoying Terandrian hospitality. Which, as he had observed, declined to eat poor fare. Which included Yellats, potatoes, and a lot of cheap food. In its place?

He got tripe, pudding, blood puddingwhich the Hobgoblin had thought was properly cooland Calanfer, in its richness, could afford a whole host of what so of the kingdoms considered exotic food.

Like oysters. The northern countries that were landlocked didnt get lots of oysters, and even Cenidau held them in high regard. Steaks pri cut, cheeseall the cheeseand their liquid diet was wine and various alcohols.

Now, there was a bit more variety than so notably bad diets, but there was one more compounding factor in this mix, and it was this:

Rabbiteater was a Goblin. Goblins did not eat this kind of rich food. They would happily eat anything, but a prolonged diet like this was unheard of for Redfangs. Even Garen Redfang.

Sowhen you understood he was having a bad ti on the toilet

He was having a bad ti. Da isa pinched her nose. Sothing was overpowering the lilac scent. At this point, Markus was backing away.

Should I, ah, tell Ser Greysten that Ser Solstice will not be coming back?

Itll pass.

isa tried to reassure him, but Rabbiteater croaked back.

Its all passing. Soone give a sword.

Rabbiteater, dont be dramatic.

isa almost stepped insidethe bathrooms were mixed gender and mixed species; there were even so in the castle that could accommodate Centaurs and half-Giants. But she stopped and hesitated.

She had faced down Mothbears in their cave lairs with less trepidation than one step into that porcelain chamber. isa rembered her first battle alone, when she had heard the whoofing, growling sounds of the monster within.

She heard much the sa noises, but moregaseous. And what sounded like hubwigh. The sound of a Goblin Knight in agony.

isa asked one question.

Rabbiteater? Are youahurinating?

No.

Ser Markus fled. isa backed away. Rabbiteater sat, clutching his stomach and praying for death. He hadnt felt this bad fighting the Da of the Hills. He had taken lesser wounds fighting Eater Goats.

I, ahI will check on you in a bit. Alright, Rabbit? Can I get you anything?

No. Go away. You did this to .

Rabbiteater heard isa retreat. The door closed, and he imdiately regretted it. In his hour of needhad he thrust away the one person who could help him through his pain?

isa? Co back. isa.

He croaked, but he had not the strengthnor the confidenceto stand up. Hisunpleasant experienceswere coming in waves. Every ti he thought he was done, his stomach decided it was in fact, a bag of holding.

And the toilet paper! Calanfer had the good stuff. Rabbiteater had, as a Redfang, grabbed every leaf he could on a raid, even collected Carn Wolf fur. Calanfer had soft stuff.

It was going by fast. He got up, flushed the toilet a fifth ti, and shuffled out of the stall. It was the most dangerous move hed ever made. But he had to do it and risk his identity

Mostly to loot all the other stalls of their rolls of toilet paper. He ca back with an armful, sat back down, and groaned.

How long was he captive in the Dungeon of Porcelain? The prisoner did not know. He sat, held hostage by the seat.

Outside, a banquet was going on and people were eating the damned food that had sent him here. He heard laughter, cries of enjoyntthere was a play! Speeches about the war, sights and wonders beyond compare.

Rabbiteaters experience of Calanfers hospitality was staring at the decorated toilet stall door. Even the toilets were decorated. This one had an engraving of Calanfers laws of the kingdom.

Rabbiteater familiarized himself with them. One by one. It was a cri to rob both a [Peasant] and a nobleman, but there were different penalties for both? You couldnt spit on the street in the capital?

Nothing stopped his pain. He wished a Goblin Shaman were here. isa had thought he was joking when he asked her to find one. Goblin [Shamans] knew how to deal with bad poos. In that way, Rabbiteater realized they were superior to every [Healer] and [Sage] known to the rest of the world.

The world disappeared. There was only him. The drop below. Backsplash. Sound and pain andunfortunatelysensation. Not much interrupted Rabbiteaters silent war against the sewers.

Not to say people didnt try to use the restroom. They did. Rabbiteater had run to the first one adjacent to the banquet hall, so the door opened quite often. Nobles, servantstechnically this was not for the common citizen, but Rabbiteater couldnt see more than the very bottom of the floor from his stall, so he imagined a brave servant would use this in their hour of need.

Howeverno one joined him. The first ti the door opened, Rabbiteater heard a female voice.

Oh. Eternal Thr

Then the door shut. Fast. The next ti, a man walked in, made a choked sound, and removed himself. Rabbiteater suspected it was the sll. One brave soul actually got into a toilet, heard the sounds, and excused themselves. Rabbiteater didnt bla them. It was one thing to fight side-by-side against a foe. Another to see a slaughter. Or at leasthear and sll one in the works.

Orangepoo was the bravest of us all. Rabbiteaters misery had probably gone on for at least twenty minutes. Possibly forty. He was wondering if Erin had sohow, maliciously, used [Immortal Mont] on him. If soone had kicked open the door to his stall with a crossbow in hand, Rabbiteater would have smiled.

Then soone opened the door to the toilets. Rabbiteater heard a voice.

Oh

A gagging sound. A mont of hesitation, and he expected whover it was to run. isa hadnt co back. He was going to die here. Of dehydration, if nothing else. He wondered if he was losing body mass.

But then he heard the clack of sothing on the tilesand a figure rushed past him into the furthest stall. Rabbiteater was impressed. He could sll this place, and it was getting to him. A Goblin.

Soone was desperate. And as it turned outhe heard rustling, then soone sat down and

Oooh. Rabbiteater listened. Then he winced. Then he closed his eyes. Thenlike Ser Markus, he wadded up so toilet paper and stuffed it into his ears.

This was a level of intimacy that he didnt want. Andnow they were really cooking with the brown sauce.

Because here was a real situation that the Goblin had never encountered. And it was this:

Two people sharing a toilet. Not three. But two. So that each person couldunfortunatelyhear. There wasnt any guessing who was making that sound. And both would prefer that the other one didnt exist.

But they could not turn off their minds. So Rabbiteater concluded after so sounds reached him through his makeshift earplugssoone was having a ti as bad as his.

Which was incredible, really. It just kept on going. And yetunlike Rabbiteater, whover was in that far stall had a will stronger than his own.

For no matter the torture, the second prisoner of the Porcelain Throne of Calanfer uttered no sound. Rabbiteater had, unashadly, cried out for agony. This person was silent. Wellvocally silent.

But how long could they endure? The breaking point was a gasp, a coughand then, as the sounds intensified as Rabbiteater cannibalized his earplugs for their intended usethe other occupant clearly realized they were stuck with Rabbiteater.

And that he could hear. And in a kind of desperation, a fugue state brought on by dehydration and an embarrassnt that knew no end, they did sothing truly horrible.

They began to hum.

Hum. A loud sound, trying to drown out the noises that were both unlodic and arrhythmic. Rabbiteaters head rose in amazent.

That was a female voice. Her humming grew louder, and Rabbiteater winced as sothing else grew more hurried. He flushed the toilet again, and she did likewise.

The humming stopped. Now, they were engaging in repeated flushing. As fast as the toilets would allow. Rabbiteater began to feel embarrassed for whover was in that stall because they were practically giving off an Aura of Embarrassnt.

Actually, they were giving off an aura. A familiar aura. Rabbiteater paused in unrolling more toilet paper. No.

Iam extrely sorry for this. Lets never speak of this again.

A woman spoke, at length, sounding like she wished she was dead. She was trying to mask her voice, possibly by deepening it and pinching her nose. She likely had hoped to reach a more private venue, but it had been this or nothing. Rabbiteater supposed he should say sothing like, too and leave it at that.

Insteadthe Hobgoblin spoke.

Seraphel?

Dead silence. He thought he heard soones heart stop in the far stall.

No?

Yeah. Its you.

No itsSer Solstice?

Mhm.

More silence. Wellsilence. Then Rabbiteater heard the sounds of a muffled scream, and Seraphel tried to exit the stall and make a break for it. He saw a faint swish of a dark dress, shoes

She made it halfway out the stall and the water was running from a tap when he heard a gurgle.

Eternal Throne protect . No, no

She tried to go for the door. Rabbiteater called out.

Dont do it. Youll never make it.

Three more steps. Then an ominous mgrgl soundand he heard a slam as she threw herself back into a stall. Right next to his.

She barely made it.

Ser Solstice, I hope you will forget everything

I cant forget this. This day is the worst. Ever.

How did you know it was ?

Aura.

Damn auras! Damn gelato and pudding and

Oysters?

I shall find whover made the desserts and have them fired! Or was itdodo you have earplugs? Cover your ears!

Im trying! Be less loud!

Their shared embarrassnt was resulting in a screaming match. When the two realized itthey fell silent. Seraphel, in the stall over, covered her face with her hands and tried to pretend she didnt exist. Rabbiteater just sat there.

The door opened. A servant stepped in.

Cleaning servHundred Families protect us. Is anyanyone here?

Occupied.

Seraphel and Rabbiteater shouted. The servant fled. Now, they were existing in a state between embarrassnt andwell. Mutual sympathy. Rabbiteater suspected Seraphel was still dying, but he almost felt better.

Misery loved company.

Havent seen you in a bit.

Ser Solstice! Please! Now is not the ti!

Okay. Lets sit here and listen to each other. Silently.

Seraphel paused. Then she hurried on.

Indeed! I havent seen you! How is the Eternal Throne of Calanfer?

I hate it.

Current experiences notwithstanding, truly?

This is the only experience. Your stupid food, your endless parties

In fairness, this is for the diplomats, Ser Solstice.

Dont care. Your kingdom sucks.

I beg your pardon! I do not go to yourabode and insult it!

Yeah, well. My abode sucks too. Lots of rocks and goats.

Erthere is such a thing as decorum, Ser Solstice.

Not here.

He was rather enjoying this banter. Seraphel was practically blushing through the bathroom stall.

I wish you had notheard this side of , Ser Solstice! I shall never live this down!

Everyone poos.

Swear to you will repeat none of this.

If I survivesure.

Seraphel sounded relieved about that. She spoke with a strained tone of patience and probably just strain.

You understanda [Princess], much less any lady, does not discuss this kind of issue. You are, by your own account, slightly indecorous, Ser Solstice.

That ans rude, right? I say obvious things, and people call that rude. Everyone. Poos. Call Rabbiteater.

Rabbiteater. Is that aa nickna? I never asked.

Nope. Well. Yes.

Dodo you like to consu rabbits? Is that the, ahsignificance of the na?

Yep.

Ah.

Not very hard to get.

No, quite. I understand that. I, eryou were heading to Nadel? Are you planning on leaving Terandria?

Before he could reply, soone opened the door. Again. This ti, Seraphel and Rabbiteater expected sounds of disgust and for soone to runbut they heard what sounded like

the Thousand Lances shall never fail. Never fail

Rabbiteater heard it all co out in a rush. He saw and heard fancy boots striking the groundthen soone struck the far wall so hard he and Seraphel jumped. Then whover it was crashed into the far stall.

That was an amazing entrance into the bathroom. Rabbiteater had never seen soone charge into the toilet like that, but after a flurry of dropping clothinghe heard a familiar horror replay itself.

Dead gods.

Seraphel whispered. Soone made a terrible sound as they ca to their senses inrelativesafety.

Lions teeth! This disgusting privyand this is the glorious kingdom of Calanfer?

Rabbiteater realized he had entered Seraphels previous toilet. Whichmight not have been flushed. It had certainly been used. Seraphel seed to be trying to not exist.

Rabbiteater? He started laughing. The outraged voice in the far stall stoppedand then soone spoke.

Youwhover you areI warn you to be silent. Or as soon as I leave here, you will answer to by blood, sir or madam.

It was a low, dangerous toneundercut by the note of pain and sounds of splashing. Rabbiteater called back.

Not going to be any ti soon.

Silence. I am in the mood to kill soone

Oh yeah? Youre stuck in there.

Who are you?

The enraged voice was followed by shuffling, and Rabbiteater suspected soone was trying to bend over and see under the low stalls. He could only get a view of boots and what looked like a lions mane, along with a male voice.

Armored boots! Who are you? A [Knight]? And yonderoh.

The other person realized there was soone else and fell abruptly silent. Seraphel, at this point, spoke in a tremulous voice.

I, ah, think I might be going.

She tried to get up and once again failed to exit. And unfortunatelyRabbiteaters observations were echoed a second later.

Your Highness. Er

The nobleman fell silent. Seraphel made a sound like a dying frog. Rabbiteater started laughing harder.

Who are you, you scoundrel? Answer ! I can sensetwo auras? Wait a second. Are you?

Ser Solstice. The Goblin Slayer.

The Goblin S

The angry voice mollified itself slightly. As if Rabbiteaters reputation alone extended to these circumstances. Rabbiteater felt compelled to throw this newcor a bone.

Were all stuck here. Bad poos.

The less said the better, sir! I suggest we forget we ever heard or saw each other. Agreed?

Agreed.

Seraphel repeated. Whereupon amiable silence fell. For five seconds. Then a torrent of sound ca from the far stall followed by so rather exquisite cursing. Rabbiteater spoke up, feeling better than everntally, at least. A river still ran through him, and it was turgid. At tis. At other tis, it was like whitewater. But not white. Or entirely water.

So anyways. I was going back to Izril, Seraphel. I want to go ho. No more fighting in the war for .

She was silent. Possibly unwilling to continue the conversation now there were three people, but Rabbiteater knew silence would kill them all. So he went on.

What about you? Going to stay here?

I, umI dont know if this is an appropriate venue, Ser Solstice.

Silence or talking. You pick.

A groan from the far stall. Seraphel spoke up hurriedly as sloshing began.

I think I will stay! Not that it is my decisionI may tour our allies, although not near the front lines, but I have no marriage arranged for .

Sowhat?

So I have no engagent as of yet.

Right. I rember. You only do what youre told. Stupid. Not going to practice swinging a sword? You suck at it.

The far occupant of the toilets broke in.

I heard you were a direct fellow, but you are rather unscrupulously rude, Ser Solstice. Her Highness isa mber of the royal family.

Yeah, and we fought together. Shut up.

Rabbiteater kicked the wall of the stall to his left. The figure bristled once more.

I may reconsider my oath of vengeance, Ser Knight!

Who are you, anyways?

Rabbiteater was curious who this angry fellow was. To which the man finally replied.

Hundredlord Cortese of Kaaz! And if I had not eatensothingI would be glad to both take you to the dueling court, Ser Solstice, and never spend another mont in this hell of tiled privies. A public toilet!

Urgent poos wait for no class.

Rabbiteater observed sagely. Lord Cortese groaned.

II fear thats the only thing youve said so far I can agree on. I

The door slamd open. Soone rushed in, and this ti, Seraphel groaned along with Rabbiteater as she heard the urgency. This ti, the person shot into the stall next to Seraphels, and Rabbiteater heard her make a faint sound. A torrent of noise followed.

Kill .

Soone croaked. But before Rabbiteater could toss his axe over the stalls, a fifth person entered. And the occupants of the stalls realized

It was a plague.

Disaster in the halls of Calanfer. A quiet one that Queen Ielane was fighting. She had found the dish which had caused all this and consigned it to hell, where it belonged.

A fiery hellbut it was too late. Even with all the [Chefs] and [Cooks] and, yes, taste-testers, sotis sothing slipped through all the Skills.

Not in the preparation or ingredientsbut afterwards. That was the irony; it had been cooked to perfection, and no soiled ingredients were let in. But if it sat out in the open for two hours while cookingor if the hands were not entirely sanitary when carving it up?

Mistakes happened. Possibly sabotage. Fortunately, only a few people had been struck down. And doubly unfortunatelythe rich dish had resulted in a certain privy of hell. Normally, they would be attended to instantlybut Calanfers staff had a larger problem to deal with. So the sufferers were left to their pain for a while as there were only a relative few affected.

A fewbut the closest one to the banquet was full. Six stalls, a normally pleasant, nay, elegant chamber. Now slowly being remodeled into a scene of nightmares. Only five occupants were in here so farbut five was more than enough to chase any but the desperate far, far away.

What was unique about this one was that they were talking. At least, Rabbiteater was. The other occupants, once the pain had subsided sowhat, were aghast, but the Hobgoblin was, at least, cheerful.

This is the second-worst poo I ever had.

Ser Solstice, please!

Seraphel cried out. But the Hundredlord Cortese leaned over, sweat beading on his brows.

Impossible, Ser Knight. What could be worse than this?

When the poo fights back. Ever pooed worms? I dont see any in mine. How about you, Princess?

Ser Solstice!

A male voice interrupted, urgently, from Seraphels right.

Dead gods! Who is speaking?

Soone else chid in on the furthest stall to the right. Female, breathy, and for so reason, slightly muffled and echoing. But nevertheless, quite insistent.

Please, enough! Of all the misfortunesam I sharing space with Izrilians?

The other two newcors cried out in outrage at this point with Seraphel, but Rabbiteater heard more than one surreptitious rustling and sighs of covert relief. Then the new male voice spoke again.

Did soone say Ser Solstice? What a coincidence. Is that Ser Solstice the Goblin Slayer of the Order of Solstice?

Yes, yes. Hi.

The speaker next to Seraphel paused. He was quite eloquent, his words precise and flowing, an excellent conversationalist. Also, laced with undertones of splashing so the refined effect was rather lost. He spoke louder.

Well t. I had hoped to et with you, Ser Knight. Just not like this.

I as well.

A quiet voice, the second female occupant, spoke. So there was the Hundredlord Cortese, Princess Seraphel, the Goblin Slayer, andRabbiteater craned his neck happily, trying to stare at their boots. Oh, interesting. One had so sensible tal boots, and he thought he saw another dress.

Who is you two?

Id prefer not to say.

The female voice retorted, and the other fellow muttered an agreent. But now, Seraphel and Cortese seed prone to vengeance. If their identities were publicCortese called out.

I can sense an aura from one of you, sir and madam. A wet one. It reminds of rain. I daresay I know which country you hail from. If not your identity.

Seraphel was trying to see if her tiara could aliorate her pain. She called out.

Magic in the stall on the far wall. Would that be from Tourvecall? The Kingdom of Incantations?

Both parties were silent. At length, the woman responded.

Lady nrise of Tourvecall. And I believe I am adjacent to

Earl Altestiel of the Rains.

You an the mudslides.

Rabbiteater shot back. Cortese began laughing.

Hah!

Even Seraphel chuckled, but Altestiel was not amused.

This is no laughing matterSer Solstice. I have half a mind to conjure a storm to engulf this entire city. Who allowed this travesty ofwhatever is upon us?

Seraphel stopped laughing abruptly and spoke hurriedly.

I can assure you, Lord Altestielthis has to be the most incredible of accidents. Or perhapssothing else. I have never, ever heard of soone encounteringthis at a banquet.

Rabbiteater snorted.

First ti for everything?

The three other non-Calanferian guests muttered dark agreent. Seraphel bit her lip. Then Altestiel spoke.

I supposeSer Solsticeits fortuitous we et. You have a very interesting na. One so fascinating, I cannot help but equate it with a young woman I happen to know personally. And the Order she established. An [Innkeeper] of so renown.

Rabbiteater sat up in his stall. He turned to his right.

Wait. You knowErin?

Seraphel and the others had no idea who that was, but they blinked as Altestiel sighed.

The [Innkeeper] of The Wandering Inn. I do indeed. She is a great friend of mine.

Seraphels eyes lit up. But Cortese broke in, sounding fascinated. His tone beca sly.

Oh, the [Innkeeper]? And that odd scene with the Order? Ser Solsticeis that where you co from?

No?

A knowing silence enveloped them until Altestiel responded.

I, uhtake it you are a mutual acquaintance of hers? She did not ntion you outright, Ser Solstice.

He said it like he knew quite patently it was not Rabbiteaters real na. Rabbiteater just wondered if this was a friend or foe. If he liked Erinprobably a friend?

How did she know a Terandrian Lord? He decided to ask just that.

Shes a friend. I stayed at her inn. How do you know her?

I, ah, encountered her on my visit to Izril. A quite striking young woman. A magnificent chess player. Whom I propositioned to marry.

Rabbiteater roared.

What?

Seraphel nearly fell off her toilet seat in shock.

What?

Cortese stared blankly at the ground.

Does anyone have any more toilet paper?

Rabbiteater kicked the door of his stall and almost tried to climb over the side to see Altestiel.

You did what?

Ser Solstice! Please!

Seraphel remonstrated with him. Altestiel sounded amused.

She rejected . Is that so inconceivable?

Yes! I dont know you! Ill fight you.

Altestiel bristled in his stall.

Why? Are you one of Miss Erins suitors?

No! She saved my life! Cortese, give your glove. Ill slap him with it.

The Hundredlord broke in with a note of growing urgency in his voice.

I might trade my glove for aa roll of toilet paper? I appear to be out.

The other four occupants fell silent. Rabbiteater had been sparingand hed stolen half the paper from every other stall. But he was careful about his supply. Cortese was not.

Does anyone have anything to spare?

A chorus of voices answered him.

Nope.

I fear not.

ErI think my own supply might not exceed my demand, whover you are.

Sadly

Cortese shouted back.

Dead gods! I am Hundredlord Cortese! Just send a scrap or two, would you?

His identity established, the man waitedand no one ca to his rescue. After a second, Rabbiteater called out.

The stall next to us is empty. Maybe it has sothing.

The Hundredlords lips moved silently as he calculated the maneuver. Then he whispered.

I cannot stand up, sir. Not without attending to my distress! Nor do I fear I will make it.

Rabbiteater shrugged.

Then crawl under? Maybe get a long stick?

Sir! Just throw a bit of yours to !

Earl Altestiel sat there and counted the squares he had left. He made a quick, strategic assessnt.

I would not do that if I were you, friends. Were all going to run out of paper. Lord Cortese is simply the first casualty.

That was too much for the [Lady] from Tourvecall. She tried tossing sothing over the stalls, and it landed on Seraphels lap, causing the [Princess] to gasp.

Dead gods! At least give him so help! Heretoss it to him.

Seraphel slipped it under the stall, and Rabbiteater galy tried to toss a three-square length over the stalls. In silence, all five occupants realized

Its landed in the empty stall, hasnt it?

Cortese sounded like he might cry. Rabbiteater grunted.

Yep. Sorry.

The Hundredlord was rapidly losing sanity. His voice almost broke with desperation.

Can anyone spare anything else? A handkerchief?

Lord Altestiel shuddered darkly.

Thats a handkerchief that will never be used again.

I have already forfeited mine.

The Hundredlord was losing his sanity rapidly. Seraphel shuddered in her stall. She rummaged in her bag of holding, and everyone did the sa. At length, Altestiel made a sound. He had found sothing.

Oh no.

Seraphel looked up, wishing she had a flyer or sothing. But [Princesses] didnt carry much if everything appeared when they called.

What?

Altestiel was silent for a long mont.

Ihave a backup. But I dont know if I want to try it. I have a scroll of [Barkskin]. Very coarse. I might have to hold onto it.

I have so spellpaper.

The Lady nrise volunteered. Hundredlord Cortese grunted.

And Iam increasingly desperate. I will take both. What else?

Rabbiteater spoke.

Your socks.

All the Humans fell silent, and Seraphel spoke quietly.

That would be a dire strait indeed, Ser Solstice.

Well, you have socks. I have a hand.

Everyone contemplated this. Cortese replied softly.

I would rather die. But I will take the scrolls.

Altestiel was just about to pass his over whenthe door opened. And Seraphel heard the voice of a saint.

Your Highness?

Was thatSeraphel called out suddenly.

Miss Beacle? Is that you?

The servant had sohow found her! She pushed open the door to the privy, speaking cautiously.

Your Highness? Iuh

The realization that the lavatory was occupied and the sll hit the girl, but she had found Seraphel despite the rapid exit the [Princess] had made. And even more

Your Highness, can I get you anyth

Toilet paper!

Five voices shouted at her. The [Servant] shut the door, fledand within two minutes, she was back. She tossed rolls of paper over the stalls, and Cortese cried out.

Who is that servant? I shall comnd her to the Eternal Throne!

Altestiel nodded rapidly.

A credit to her entire class. A [Saint], if ever the class existed.

Dead gods. I can put my shoes back on.

That ca from the [Lady], much to Seraphels mild horrorand she had to admithilarity. Everyone fell silentand then they all started laughing. Seraphel spoke.

PleaseI know this is all highly embarrassing, but weve all been revealed. You are Lady nrise, yes?

You speak to the [Spellbound Lady] nrise. Magic run through you. And nothing else.

Rabbiteater craned his head.

Ooh. Magic?

Altestiel industriously tore strips off his roll of toilet paper.

Endemic to Tourvecall. This may be the mostunguarded we have ever t the reclusive nobility of Tourvecall. I have always wondered what lay under their helts. No offense, Lady nrise.

None taken. It is hardly as if we are half-Elves. I fear our appearance would be more distressing thanalluring. I may oblige you all.

Hundredlord Cortese was as surprised as Seraphel, who understood the sa thing. Though he blurted it out, which was typical of Kaazs folk.

Truly? I thought it was entirely intimate.

The Lady chuckled darkly.

It is embarrassing more than anything. But I can hardly imagine anything worse than this.

Cortese hesitated before barking a pained laugh.

True.

Yup.

The Goblin, sitting in the middle stall, nodded. Rabbiteater found himself imagining the woman as she explained.

It would appearto preface the issueas though my skin were too pale. Regardless of color. The sheer magic in Tourvecall has changed our very skin. The helt is not to hide our appearance, either; unguarded, our skin leaks mana.

It does? Thatis not sothing Ive heard of.

Altestiel was astonished. The [Lady] sighed.

A side effect of our magical blood. Not a single Spellbound of Tourvecall is born without the ability to cast spells. But we are exposed to too much of it, perhaps. The mana is so dense in the airwell, the common folk are not nearly as surrounded by it.

Huh. Sounds cool. I like magic.

Rabbiteater offered. He was the common folk in the room, and the others chuckled at that. Hundredlord Cortese interrupted.

If you think that is a sight, visit the Infinite Dungeon of Kaaz, Goblin Slayer. If your axe is half as sharp as your wit, you might clear a number of rooms.

Or lose a hand in the interminable duels.

That is an exaggeration of Kaaz, Earl Altestiel.

The Earl of Rains reply was to toss one of the spare rolls into Corteses stall.

Is it? I have three scars from visiting Kaaz. Dueling is optional, but you lot like to press your point, pun intended!

We pursue excellence in combat, and we settle matters with blades as well as words!

Cortese hurled two rolls back. Seraphel shouted as one landed on her head.

Would you two stop throwing toilet paper?

Apologies, Your Highness.

Yes, Earl Altestiel quite forgot himself.

Before either man could bristle, Rabbiteater broke in.

So. One of you likes duels. One of you is super-magical. One of you is responsible for this stupid kingdom.

Hey.

And whats Desonis known for?

Altestiel began to speak, but the other three cut him off.

Rain.

Swamps.

Hydras? And a sleeping [Queen].

The [Earl] spluttered as he raised his voice in outrage.

Oh co now. Desonis is a proud nation!

A wet nation, more like.

It rained my entire three-week visit.

Lovely hot tubs, though.

Rabbiteater rubbed his hands together, grinning as the other guests roasted the Earl of Rains.

Hot tubs, huh? And you wanted to marry Erin? Earl of Hot Tubs? No wonder she said no.

Altestiel made a choking sound.

I should like to get a good look at you, Ser Solstice.

Yeah, too.

A mont of silence as the two n bristled. ThenRabbiteater poked at his stomach.

Were going to die in here.

The other four people fell silent. Seraphel spoke up after a mont.

I am sure Beacle is fetching us a potion for our stomachs.

Lady nrise almost sobbed aloud.

What a relief! But what caused this?

Rabbiteater frowned and poked at his gurgling stomach.

Uhwhat did you all eat?

The other four compared notes as Altestiel decided to track down the dish, lest it offend anyone else. Lady nrise passed him a quill and inkpot, and he used the toilet paper to take notes.

Lets see. I bet it was the oysters. Who had that?

Seraphel shuddered politely. She knew the dangers of undercooked oysters.

No.

Cortese snorted.

I hate the foul things. I fed them to my lion.

nrises voice rose in disbelief; she had clearly not seen Kaazs folk.

You have a lion?

Yes, and if it was the tripeI fear to see the banquet hall because half our cats partook. And they have quite the appetite.

Seraphel shuddered in horror as Cortese spoke, but Rabbiteater objected.

I hate tripe. I didnt have any.

The Princess scratched at her head.

Thenwhat about the pudding? The gelato?

Altestiel brightened up.

Theres gelato for dessert? I dont recall seeing it served, yet.

Seraphel bit her lip and hoped that revelation didnt reach her mother.

Not that, then. Pudding?

The Goblin smacked his lips.

I had blood pudding. Anyone like it?

Everyone else disagreed with Rabbiteater. They were talking further when Lady nrise spoke.

Praycould it have been Golaens gift to the occasion? That new dish?

Seraphel hesitated. Now that sounded

Which one? Waitthe do-nots?

The Hundredlord instantly disagreed.

Donuts. Surely not! They were just a frosted piece ofbaked goods. But I did have one, co to think of it. The novelty. Anyone else?

I did.

Altestiel spoke up and felt a stir on the back of his neck. It had been a strange food. But hed been taken to the restroom so fast

The Hundredlord Cortese grunted.

But that would anI did recall sampling a delightfully frosted one right before Ithosegiant-blooded bastards. I repent all my accusations, Your Highness. If anyone would have made the mistake

Seraphel buried her face in her hands.

I had one too. Rabbiteater?

Yep.

Altestiel decided it was case-closed. But it was strange. They looked like fried goods. Indeed, Cortese was now throwing a fit.

You have to boil those damned things in hot oil! How can Golaen ss up a simple treat? It had none of those bacteriums or whatever theyre called! Ill stab that [Titanguard] myself!

Whats a bacterium?

Rabbiteater held his stomach. Seraphel tried to calm Cortese down.

Lord Cortese, I would not do that. The [Titanguard], Lord Etrogaer, is a dangerous foe.

Do you think I fear that? A [Duelist] fears no foe. I may not be a Gold-bell fencer, but I earned my silver bell when I was seventeen.

I wouldnt do that if I were you.

Rabbiteater cautioned him, and Cortese turned his wrath on him.

Oh, and you think I havent seen combat, Ser Solstice? Should I duel you first?

The Goblin decided he might be done. He tapped his empty stomach and shrugged.

If you like. But that [Titanguard] will still stomp you flat. Hes over Level 40.

Cortese hesitated.

Youre sure?

Yep.

Altestiel muttered an agreent.

That squares with Desonis intelligence. How can you tell, Ser Solstice?

I recognized his Skill when he patted on the shoulder. Sothing super-heavy. He can probably crush your bones to dust.

Cortese muttered in his stall.

That is more concerning. Well, our neighbors in Golaen produce mighty warriors. I should like to see if our Lance of Kaazaldrin, Gorethem, would duel Lord Etrogaer in my stead. That would beamusing. He was a Nad-rank adventurer before he was accepted into the Thousand Lances.

One of the Thousand Lances is here?

Rabbiteater sat up, worried. His stomach decided it had more to expelout of worry. Nad-rank?

Whats a Thousand Lance?

Seraphel was gingerly debating leaving the restroom herself.

The greatest knight-order in the world. The Thousand Lances of Kaazaldrin are just thata thousand [Knights] who are inducted into the greatest knight-order. Even the Order of Seasons or Ailendamus [Knights] may be invited. Nad-rank adventurers are also sotis admitted.

Only a thousand?

A thousand is all you need. Each noble family ensures a mber of our Thousand Lances want for nothing. As a Hundredlord, I have more mbers of the Lances in my house than all but the crown.

Hundredlord Cortese picked up the explanation. Rabbiteater sat there.

He didnt like the idea of that. Or at least, fighting that. A thousand armored enemies wielding artifacts sounded like a really unfair ti. But Cortese assured the other people they had nothing to worry about. Beacle stepped back in, issuing huge apologies, and relief finally arrived in the form of a tonic. It was, ironically, brown.

Kaaz has no designs on conquest. Unlike Ailendamus. We do have a history of answering grudge for grudgebut once settled, friendships bloom from a bit of strife.

Rabbiteater brightened up. He flushed the toilet one last ti and stood up. His stomach finally stabilized.

Hey, thats true. I feel better.

nrise was industriously flushing the toilet as she sighed in relief.

Myself included.

Seraphel gasped.

too!

Altestiel sighed.

Praise be to all [Healers]. I thinkour ordeal is at an end. Ladies, gentlenI think this has been a positive experience. Discounting the pain. I should like to leave now.

Yes.

too.

Lady nrise agreed as she delicately opened the stall door.

And I will shake all your hands. After we have washed them. Thoroughly.

And so they did. There was sothing bonding about mutual suffering. As any good [Diplomat] knew. This was such the case that as the door to the condemned lavatory opened, five people erged all at once, not independently.

Rather than pretend they didnt know each other, they ca out, shaking washed, cleaned hands. Ser Solstice, eying Earl Altestiel, who nodded to the Hundredlord as he peered at Lady nrise and she flipped her own visor up. She bowed to Princess Seraphel and exchanged the smile of a survivor.

A friendship forged in troubled waters. It was so notable that a passing [Diplomat of Envy], Corek of Ailendamus, halted on his rush to the restroom. Hed just had a bite of a treat hed been saving on his plate, and none of the Thronebearers or servants had seen fit to save him from his fate.

He felt the terrible pain in his intestines, looked at the group of five, and realized what had happened in a flash. Corek shook his head.

Dead gods. Is itthe legendary Umbral Throne diplomacy?

Even more famous than the Winebreath Blaster. If he didnt know better, he might have guessed Calanfer had set this up! But even they werent this dramatic. Corek rushed into the toilet, inhaled once, and paled as he opened a stall.

Kingdom of Glass and Glory preserve .

What a day, eh? Ser Solstice actually sounded more cheerful after his harrowing journey. Perhaps because hed found a more entertaining group of people than the food or celebrations.

Or perhaps because, as he erged from the restrooms, he ca face-to-face with a silver-and-purple haired man, who did indeed feel like a rainstorm, both in temperant and aura. Prone to moods, the Earl Altestiel of Rains.

He paused, drying his hands with a cloth, and the Goblin Slayer looked him up and down as the Earl adjusted his violet coat, flashing with golden epaulets. For a second, Rabbiteater debated punching himthen the Earl of Rains held out a gloved hand.

I was exceptionally relieved to hear Erin was returned to life. My [Strategist] and most trusted right hand, Kiish, made sure of it. I like to think I helped, in so small way.

You did?

Rabbiteater forgot his anger in a second. He took the hand, and the two looked at each other. Perhaps the Earl saw a crimson flash behind that visor. Or expected to. He gave Rabbiteater a knowing look, and the Hobgoblin waited. But all the [Earl] did was smile.

Youre far from ho, Ser Solstice.

Yeah. I was having an adventure. This part sucked, but the rest wassothing.

The two stood there, and a man with dark brown skin and a flash of red running through his disheveled locks practically kicked his way out of the lavatory. Hundredlord Cortese looked around, saw his pet lion prowling around him anxiously, and bent down to pet her. But she took one sniff of him and backed away.

So this is Ser Solstice and the Earl of Rains. Amazing. That wasnt all a hallucination.

He wiped at his brow as his handkerchief was no longerand turned. The three n saw a woman push open the door and freeze. Seraphel flushed, but Lady nrise stepped out into the hallway, her visor shut, her hands folded demurely in a star-lavender dress.

Needless to say, gentlen, Your Highness, I shall deny this event ever took place under torture or truth spell.

A laugh escaped Seraphels mouth despite herself. She looked around, and Beacle was waiting, along with so very apologetic Thronebearers who had been alerted to thedistressing incident.

It looks like a bit of chaos. Food poisoning and Golaen in the spotlight. Earl Altestiel, are you interested in taking these fools to account?

The Hundredlord Cortese went for his rapier as he looked around, spotting Thronebearers interposing themselves between offended guests and the defensive Golaen group. Altestiel raised one brow.

I think that would be fair. Ser Solstice?

Rabbiteater was just about to join in the fun of punching soone when Seraphel objected.

Guests, I must insist on civility. Can we not pretend this incident never occurred altogether, as we just promised? Allow to make it up to you.

How?

Rabbiteater was as skeptical as the others, but Seraphel turned, saw the sun fading in the distance, and clicked her fingers.

Beacle, alchemical dawn cider. A tray, and sothingcooked. We shall all retire out of the palace to the Skybridge.

Cortese hesitated, a hand on the hilt of his sword. He looked at Altestiel, then Ser Solstice. And then, the Goblin bent down and pulled out a huge, practically uncooked leg of mutton out of his bag of holding. Altestiel actually stepped back in amazent as he offered it to the lion.

Do you justwalk around with at in your bag of holding, Ser Solstice?

Lady nrise was patently disbelieving. Rabbiteater shrugged. He patted his bag of holding as the lion sniffed the un-spiced, frankly bloody at. Far better than everything else! She padded over, and he patted her on the head like a Carn Wolf. The Goblin answered the [Lady].

Im storing toilet paper in there too. Lots of it. Important gear anywhere you go. Like food. Good cat.

Incredible. Impossible. Baeris takes to almost no one. Youre not the least afraid?

Cortese looked astonishedand approving. Rabbiteater eyed the huge lion; she was not the maned kind, being female, but she was a huge predator and on Earth, an apex killer. Here? He thought she was sort of cute.

I used to grow up with Carn Wolves. Theyre bigger. Roll over.

Baeris bared all her teeth in a warning snarl that made Seraphel step back. The lion was far too intelligent for her liking, doubtless the product of Skills. Rabbiteater instantly stuck his gauntleted hand in her mouth. The lion backed up as Corteses eyes widened in shock. Altestiel began chuckling.

Go on and bite . Dare you. Ive got tal hands.

Baeris growledthen licked his gauntlets. Rabbiteater ruffled her head, and Cortese exhaled. He let go of his hilt and guffawed so loudly everyone in earshot looked at him.

You! You must co to Kaaz! Ive decidedSer Solstice is no rogue but a friend! So sayeth the Hundredlord of House Withred! What is your na, Ser Solstice?

He proclaid it like a royal announcentwhich it almost was. Seraphel herself was amazed, but Ser Solstice just rose and shook Corteses hand.

You can call Rabbiteater. So of my friends do. Did soone say drinks? Whats alchemical dawn cider?

You might think a Goblin could make no friends in Calanfer, with all the Humans and their views on Goblins. But a masked Goblin [Knight] had a lot in common with a Lady of Tourvecall. Lady nrise even had her own glass straw she brought everywhere.

So, how do you eat with your helt on?

Rabbiteater found out that alchemical dawn cider was a kind of cider brewed in Calanfer. It glowed, like everything else in the Eternal Throne, but the alchemical part was sothing that made it fizz in a lovely way as he took a sip from his own straw.

And he stood on the Skybridge, the crystal bridge now glowing softly, a cherry red as the sun fell. As the moon rose, Seraphel assured them, it would be like standing on a moonbeam.

nrise answered with a low chuckle.

I am allowed to take my helt off if not in the company of outsiders, so it is a far less strenuous obligation than yours, Ser Solstice. But as to your question? Either a privacy screen orhow large is your helt?

Eh. Not very.

Mm. I have a very small pouch of holding. So I would transfer in an acceptable bite of foodsothing handheldand then, inside my helt, levitate the food out

Amazing. I just drink soup.

Altestiel nearly snorted his own drink out his nose. He looked around as the bridge began to change, taking on a glow from the blue moon above, the only one out as the green moon waned in the sky to a sliver.

He kept looking down, despite knowing he stood on solid ground, because it did feel like standing on pure light. It was a magnificent sightand even for a visitor to Calanfer, he had to admit it was unique.

Mainly because no one else was on the bridge but Beacle, a few Thronebearers keeping people from walking on from both sides, and the five guests.

Princess Seraphel du Marquin could reserve the Skybridge to herself. In fact, for a royal family mber, that was the default; no pedestrian would cross while she stood there. Theyd use the other, lesser bridges.

The [Princess] was almost completely ignorant to the changing Skybridge, which amazed her other newfound friends. And they werefriends? They were sothing.

A fine drink. A fine view, I will admit.

Hundredlord Cortese himself admitted to being slightly satisfied by the occasion. Seraphel looked up. She was hesitantly petting the huge lion, Baeris, on the head as the lion began chomping the bone from the mutton leg Rabbiteater had given her.

Heres to ordeals never spoken of and to Calanfer. To the Dawn Concordats victory in battle and Ser Solstice and the Princess of Calanfer!

Altestiel proposed a toast, and Rabbiteater glanced up.

Bah. I was starting to like you. Lets toast getting drunk.

Chuckles from Lady nrise and a scandalized sound from Serapheluntil she realized she was the only one. nrise was pithy, and Cortese, once he decided he liked you, minded no coarse language or poking. Seraphel took another cup off a tray, and Rabbiteater poked her. She jumped, and he laughed.

She stared at him, then tried to poke him back but found poking an armored [Knight] was impossible. The Hobgoblin chortleduntil a finger poked him.

Gaaah!

He stared at Seraphels translucent hand, felt a finger jab him in the side, icy-coldand leapt so high and back that he hit the railing.

Ser Solstice!

Cortese and Altestiel grabbed for his legs as the Goblin nearly toppled over the edge of the bridge. The Thronebearers went running as Seraphel clapped a hand to her mouththen hurried to try and pull him up! Lady nrise saved the three struggling figures from hauling the heavy Goblin by pointing a wand.

[Featherweight]. Heave him up!

Ser Solstice, Rabbiteater, I am deeply sorry

Rabbiteater was laughing. He felt at his side, delighted, then pointed at Seraphel.

Great poke! Great trick!

Seraphel exhaled, and then the Hobgoblin was asking her if that were her new Skill, and Lady nrise was offering Baeris a drink, much to the lions delight. Cortese gave Princess Seraphel an admiring look and then drew his sword.

Well, if were displaying SkillsEarl of Rains, I know you have a few interesting ones. Between friends, lets show so off. Ser Solstice, surely you have sothing new from your victories.

Rabbiteater thought about it as he smiled behind his helt.

Im a plant.

Hm?

They spent hours on the bridge. Seraphel was sure Ielane was putting out fires and avoiding feuds in the palace, but as expected, by the ti the slightly drunk group parted ways in the corridor, there was little sign of the disaster in the banquet hall.

Tomorrow, anon! Tomorrow!

Cortese blew a kiss, and nrise perford the sa gesture. Rabbiteater was walking off to talk to Altestiel a mont longer about their shared acquaintance. But both stopped and waved at Seraphel, and she bowed.

She had scarcely felt soebullient in her life. As if ti had flown past, rather than dragged in smalltalk. Not that they had been discussing the affairs of the realm! Half the ti had just been showing off Skills or daring each other to silly things like getting Baeris to roll over and beg for a treat. Or Rabbiteater jumping off the bridge for a dare, followed by Cortese and Lady nrise. Sohow, Altestiel was the hesitant one with Seraphel!

Rembering it was almost as delightfulbut she was so exhausted, Seraphel would have liked nothing more than to lie down. And see her newfound friends tomorrow.

Of course, the banquet and politics awaited and her mother would probably wish to ensure that Seraphel could leverage her new connections and that the friendships were not too friendly.

Doubtless, the others thought that way, too, and were aware of their obligations to their countries.

And yet the [Princess] had to admitit was a rather fine thing to et so of the dignitaries in such anunguarded situation. She actually thought she might genuinely like them, and the reverse might hold true.

As for the rest of the gathering, well, the stomach-churning dish was a footnote in the discussions to co. Seraphel was just heading to her room, wondering if Ser Solstice played chess as well as the fad Earl of Rains. Perhaps they could have a secondcarefully vettedbreakfast? She was just about to look into it when soone burst into her rooms.

Seraphel! Seraphel!

Aielef, get out!

Seraphel reached for sothing to hurl at her elder sister. She had no ti for any courtly intriguebut she stopped when she saw Aielef.

Her dress was bunched around her, and she was wild-eyed, her hair a ss, the dyed red tangling around her face.

But that was what made Seraphel stop. A [Princess] of Calanfer should never look that way. Ielane had drilled that into her daughters. But even more than that

Wheres your tiara? Aielef?

The [Princess] stumbled forwards, still clutching her stomach.

II ate sothing horrible, Seraphel. I rushed to my rooms, and when I ca outmy tiara was gone! And soones stolen two crossbows from Noelictus [Hunters] and burgled half of Golaens guests!

Seraphel shot up, and her eyes widened. A thief had co in the night. It was almost as significant as

The donuts.

Authors Note: Shorter chapter! Shorter chapter, and a two-part story for Rabbiteater! Im taking it easy and not pushing for everything!

Waitwhy is it still 30,000 words?

Where did I go wrong?

I know, energy. I have too much energy. Too little ability to condense and I suppose, expedite affairs. But every scene has its place. Even the toilet scene. No one ever talks about Aragorn in Lord of the Rings. I bet there was a bad poo at least one ti, especially with all them Hobbits. Unless Legolas eats air or sothing.

The point is, I hope you enjoyed. So of the Twitch stream-readers found it funny, but maybe theyre all children at heart. I probably am. Thanks for reading and see you later!

Palass, The City of Inventions by Enuryn the [Naturalist]!

Portfolio:senuryndraws.art/Ko-Fi: /Enuryn_Nat