By the ti the eting was over, Mauve felt numb all over, and it took great effort to walk.
"Do you want to carry you?" Jael offered as he led her to the exit.
Mauve slowly shook her head. "No, thank you," she replied with a tired smile. She didn't want to ruin her strong display. Having the lords watch her as Jael carried her out of the hall would be the complete opposite of that.
"You look like you're about to fall," Jael replied, but he wasn't teasing. He was quite serious. He knew exactly what she had been through in the past twenty-four hours and wanted to ease it a bit.
"I'm sure I can make it to my room before that happens, but since you're insisting," she mumbled, "I'll lean on you a little more."
True to her word, she leaned a little closer to him as they walked out, and Jael walked slower to make it easier for her. He seed content with this and didn't bring up the offer again. They walked in silence, the aftermath of the eting more than enough to make up for the lack of conversation.
Jael didn't slow down as they neared her room, even though she had clearly stated she could make it there. Instead, he went past it and stopped in front of the door to his bedroom. Mauve looked up at him, and he t her gaze as they stood in front of the door.
"Open it," she finally said when he was taking too long. "My legs are killing ."
Jael nodded and quickly opened the door. As soon as it shut behind them, he picked her up, and Mauve didn't complain. She was tired of being on her feet and couldn't wait to lie down. She was so happy when Jael placed her in his bed.
Unfortunately, going to sleep was completely out of the question. Her problems weren't nearly over. There was still the conversation with Jael. She didn't think she had the energy for it, but she couldn't push it forward any longer. It was sothing they had to discuss before the night was over, and by the solemn look on Jael's face, he couldn't afford to wait.
He took her hand and brought it to his cold lips. Mauve let him. She let her gaze linger on his face as he kissed the back of her hand and then slowly dropped her hand back to the bed, but Jael didn't let go of her hand.
"I am sorry," he whispered.
Mauve nodded. "I know."
"I don't think so. I feel absolutely awful. I didn't just put you in danger but the baby too."
Mauve shrugged. "I think we are both fine. Just very, very tired. I could sleep for three days straight."
"Don't joke about that," Jael said with a stern look on his face.
Mauve recalled the ti when, according to Jael, she had refused to wake up. She hadn't even rembered this when she made the joke. "Don't worry. I don't think that would ever happen again."
"You've been through a lot. I can't even protect you. You must hate now."
"I could never hate you," she replied. "I was very angry, though."
"Are you still angry?" he asked softly, as if worried he might upset her more.
"Yes," Mauve admitted, "I am, but maybe not as much as when I first found out. I couldn't believe you'd do that. I still don't believe it."
"I don't know what ca over . I should never have listened to Louis, and I keep blaming myself because I knew it would turn out like this." Jael winced as he recalled picking the knife from the table. He had instinctively done that, but looking back, he wondered if it was because he knew.
"I don't think so. You can be an idiot most tis—the both of you—but I don't think you'd both deliberately put in danger. I just think it wasn't a very thought-out plan."
"I would never put you through sothing like that again, and from now on, I will run everything by you. If you don't approve, it won't happen."
Mauve chuckled. "There is no need for such extre asures. You are still the Primus, and you don't need my approval. I would just like to know if it concerns ."
Jael nodded. "Do you forgive ?" he asked.
Mauve shook her head. "Not yet, but I will. It might just take a little longer."
"I am sorry. I'm sure you must have been so scared."
"Yeah, but a part of hoped you'd make it in ti, and you did." Mauve winced at the mory.
At the ti, all she had was hope. She couldn't even scream very loud, and she knew Jael was in the dining hall. The fear that he wouldn't co to her rescue had been more choking than the hand around her throat, but she had hung on to hope. When she saw him burst through the door, Mauve had wept, and it didn't take long for the relief to cause her to lose consciousness.
The heartbreak she felt when she heard he had known this would happen couldn't be compared. It would truly take a while for her not to feel hurt when she thought about it. She loved Jael, there was no doubt about it, but this was bound to leave a deep scar.
"I will do anything to correct this error. Anything at all."
Mauve pulled her hand from his grip. She could see the horror in Jael's eyes as she did, and the relief when she touched his face. He grabbed her hand again and placed it against his cheek, holding it there.
"I am so tired," she replied. "I just want to sleep."
Jael nodded. "I will stay with you this ti. I am not going anywhere."
Mauve nodded and tapped the side of the bed beside her. Jael moved quickly, lying down, and she rolled on top of him, resting her head on him. This was the best place.
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