Okay, so this horse just talked.
"Who are you calling a horny horse! I'm a unicorn! A pure and untainted unicorn!"
[Aren't these both synonyms? And would soone pure call himself that? I an hey there! How are you doing!]
Okay, this unicorn caught by surprise. You need to understand it is my first ti waking up in the middle of the night to go pee and finding a unicorn just waiting there.
It looks at Wolfie nearby, and the latter is totally smirking.
"This is the man you chose to follow?"
Do they know each other? Wolfie is a small wolf, would that make the unicorn Wolfie's elder? Would explain the ability to speak.
So how does one engage in a conversation with a unicorn? Should I complint its long purple horn?
*pffft*
There is just one thing that pops in my head while looking at that horn: everything is a dildo if you are brave enough. I can't stop myself from chuckling. Let's just say using that horn for that purpose would probably be to die for.
The other 2 are looking at like I am crazy. Actually no, Wolfie is used to it by now.
"What is it human? Why are you looking at my horn with such a gaze?"
I probably shouldn't explain it.
[Nothing, it looks very nice. So long and sturdy!]
I barely stop myself from adding: if you know what I an at the end.
"HumSure. If you want to show you any respect, you'll have to prove yourself worthy!"
At first, it's looking at with a wary gaze, but then it starts proclaiming proudly about a test?
[I truly do not care, I'm just here for bio reasons.]
"Bio? What is that?"
[Pit stop?]
"What is that?"
[Spend a penny?]
"Co again."
[Nature's call?]
"I don't hear anything?"
[Look unicorn I'm just here to piss. I don't care about proving anything right now.]
"How shaful!"
Wolfie is rolling on the ground laughing her tail off.
[So, do you guys know each other?]
"Of course we know each other, if we didn't, I wouldn't be speaking to such a crude man as yourself!"
[Cool story bro.]
"What's that?"
[Hum it is sothing you say to soone when you don't care about what they are saying. Like that test of yours. Do you understand?]
"Cool story bro!"
[Damn, you are a fast learner. Fine, what is that thing of yours? I'm quite busy these days. Walking and whatnot.]
"You shall showcase sothing heroic and I will judge you based on it."
[I'm no hero. Hell, I'm not even a real champion. I'm a fake haha. You'll have to find another hero sowhere else.]
"Humble I see, fine. That is good. How about a dance under the moonlight?"
[Why would I be dancing? What kind of dance can I do alone? Do you want to breakdance or sothing?]
"What would that be?"
[Forget it, I don't know how anyway. Then again what is the link between dancing and being heroic?]
"You see dancing is a truly profound art. It is possible to see the true essence of an individual through a dance. The passion, what he values, everything."
[You remind of my English teacher analyzing why the ravens in a story are black.]
"Oh? He was wise and knowledgeable then?"
[Sothing like that.]
More like literary analysis has a lot of bullshit in it. The author wrote it like that for a thousand profound reasonsor maybe he just liked black who knows. I knew so dude writing a web novel and let tell you his reasons would be: I made the raven black cause it's edgy lol.
Who can truly tell besides the author himself? Guess what? He's been dead for years! If I ever et scholars like that in this world, I'm gonna go back to Grey to know for sure. I'll be like find the author's tomb! It is ti for literature!
"How about writing a piece of calligraphy using the earth as your canvas?"
[You an that in a good way, but that simply ans us being broke and not being to afford a real canvas. Sadly, I do not know how to write elegantly either. Let's just say I could have beco a doctor in another life! Haha.]
"Doctor? How is it related to calligraphy?"
[Hum, where I am from, doctors are renowned for their almost illegible writing. Still, that won't do.]
"I see, then how about playing so music?"
[I can't. But like, even if I could there are no instrunts here. What would you have do? Best I can do is beatbox.]
"Beatbox? What is that?"
[Well, it would be making a beat only using my mouth in my case. Then I could rap or sothing.]
"Oh! You an singing! That works! Do that!"
Did we totally spend so much ti figuring out what the test content would be? Damn if this was a novel it would go for thousands of chapters for sure.
How long is the test going to be? Beatboxing is serious business. Can't half-ass that. After all, chances are beatboxing is making its apparition in this world for the first ti. I do not want to be the one giving it a bad reputation.
Oh, I know.
[How about I perform a song that one of my travel companions taught recently?]
"I'm listening intently!"
I take a deep breath. After all, while easier than to beatbox, this song is kinda hard too.
It is a war song. It is ant to raise morale and intimidate the enemies.
How aweso is that!
(^ o ^)
LA~LA~LA
We are proud warriors!
They thought they would be safe.
Little did they know we are conquerors.
Despair all you want it is too late.
Their pride and walls gone.
Burned it all to the ground.
We are peerlessly strong.
One thing they did wrong.
Opposing us their undoing
Against enemies no evildoing
Proceed to crush their bones.
Rampage as a cyclone.
Screwing their won
Giving so to the henchn
Plundering their loot
Shitting in their food
Pissing in their drinks.
Destroying all in a blink.
Cutting their junks.
Hacking it in chunks.
And making them eat it!
Would have been wiser to submit.
On your weak god, we spit!
LA~LA~LA
We are proud warriors!
.
(^ o ^)
I truly outdid myself on that performance!
My voice was clear, powerful, and steady!
I look at the unicorn, I'm sure it is spellbound by my stellar performance.
It fell low on the floor. I get it my performance was shockingly good.
Only thing ... why is it vomiting non-stop?
Reviews
All reviews (0)