Take two.
Scene: Getting a job.
Main actor: An extrely handso guy.
Supporting actor: A cute and small white wolf trailing behind.
Background: A dium-sized bakery that has decent traffic of custors.
Ti of filming: Right about now because no one has ti to wait anymore.
3, 2, 1Action!
I'm sure this ti around it will go better.
I an considering the last one I got turned down instantly
The only way it could be worse is if I get attacked with a knife or sothing.
There is my target.
A man talking with a custor.
He glances at .
"I'll be with you shortly."
[Actually, I'm here to apply for a job. Take all the ti you need with the custors!]
Polite tone, check.
Smile, check.
Now I'm patiently waiting on the side.
Making sure I don't disturb the business.
After a while, he has a few minutes to allocate .
Still, I see an incoming custor on his way, so I summarize it shortly.
That I have trained for months and that I can be a valuable asset to his bakery.
That is technically true.
All I ever did was barbecue or pie, but I've done it for a while.
This is the best tactic I know for an interview.
You want to say sothing true that sounds impressive.
This way they can't really be mad even if they misunderstand.
If anything they will admire your marketing skills.
He then goes back to tending to custors.
He hasn't driven away.
This is obviously an improvent.
This shows he is sowhat interested in my candidature.
I guess that ans he is a wise man.
Unlike that other guy from before.
Both of them actually operate on the sa street.
I can already picture myself becoming a star cook.
The kind that gives a foodgasm to every custor.
The kind that people will think is drugging the food.
My creations will be that amazing.
Of course, it will all be legit.
Then our bakery will beco extrely popular.
So popular it will eclipse all the others.
Then will co to visit that one arrogant owner.
He will notice .
Notice how aweso I am.
Then he will regret.
But as they say, there is no dicine for regret.
He will try to poach , but the wise owner here won't let go.
He will offer a better salary.
A salary so high it will impress the richest of tycoons.
Then it will be the beginning of my legacy.
With the money I will make, I will open my own bakery.
One that will sell nothing but pie.
I will hire my old patron as a worker.
Together we will share how great pies are with the world.
Slowly building a pie empire.
Then it will beco part of the culture.
Pies will be said to be worth more than gold.
At the very least these pies of ours.
Then we will expand.
Going from one branch in the diplomatic city to countless.
We will be everywhere.
We will beco a power in itself.
Then using that influence we will unite the continent.
Once that is done, we will unite the world.
Only once that goal is reached will we stop.
For this the Dao of the pies.
One that is truly worth
"Hey! Are you alive!?"
What?
All the custors are gone.
It is only I and the owner that remain.
[Sorry, was lost in my thoughts for a second.]
"All good, you did wait for a long ti."
Ah, it is already getting dark outside.
[How should we proceed?]
"Simple, just cook sothing and I will watch you work."
Sounds simple enough.
Most of the ti simple is best.
I get started.
I do all the steps to bake a pie.
From the first to the last.
Anyone that doesn't know how should look it up.
Find your nearest bakery and kneel until they teach you.
I make sure to cook it just the right amount of ti.
It turns out crispy and delicious looking.
I'm going to state the obvious, but I am proud of my creation.
The owner looks at .
"Brother, we don't even sell pies here."
[And that is why you should hire .]
He looks at at a loss for words.
"What about bread? How proficient are you in it?"
I scoop a part of the pie.
Delicately using a spoon.
[Here, just taste this.]
I slowly bring it to his lips.
Ever so slowly part them gently.
Then I insert it inside.
He gobbles it up.
[So, how is it?]
I can see him smile shyly.
"Quite good I must admit."
He likes it very much.
I can see him licking the tip.
Driving his tongue all over the length.
Taking it all in.
I take the spoon and
I give him seconds.
His mouth is now completely filled.
He closes his eyes in bliss.
He tries to say sothing.
I stop him and tell him to just enjoy the mont.
He nods and tastes it all.
I keep carefully feeding him.
Giving him all of my love.
After all my cooking is full of it.
That is the secret for any artisan.
You want to pour your heart into it.
Soon enough all of it is deep inside him.
All inside his stomach.
He took it all in, surprisingly.
All of the pie.
He was really hungry
Or my pie is just that good.
I want to believe it's the latter.
[So, do I have the job?]
I wink at him.
After seeing how much he enjoyed it this seems a done deal.
"Of course! You can stay in this place forever!"
[Nice, when do I start?]
"How about right now?"
[Oh I see. It is getting late, are we cooking the batch for tomorrow? Wait, shouldn't we do that in the morning? You know to keep it fresh?]
"Forget the cooking. You just have to share my bed. I have been looking for so long for a kindred soul!"
Wait, what?!
"You clearly are one to enjoy foreplay involving food. I knew I couldn't be the only one! The way you kept gently feeding was aweso. I don't even care if you are a man, we can"
[Wait! I just want to bake! I don't swing that way!]
He starts crying.
"Ah, I understand. Then you may leave."
[What about the job?!]
"Sorry, but there is no way I can work alongside you and restrain myself. If you wish to stay it will be for"
[Alright! I'm out! Never mind!]
Fuck! I was so very close!
Being handso is a curse I tell you
Now, where am I supposed to spend the night?!
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