"I don't mind sitting here and pretending not to exist," she offered. "It is not like the two of you are paying any attention, anyway," she grumbled but got up. Her gun was still pointed at his head. "One wrong move," she warned. "You make one wrong move and I will blow your head to pieces, Murray, I promise you." With that, she moved away. She did not turn her back towards us.
She retreated slowly, reaching the door and closing it to give us a sense of privacy. You could hear everything from outside. The walls were thin.
"You are sick?"
"There is nothing wrong with , I assure you. Contrary to everyone's belief, I am fine!" I let him know. "What is the aning of all this? Why do you want to talk to ?"
"I had to explain myself!" he explained, incredulously. "I can't just let you think that I made up all my feelings and let you marry so half-wit that has so clue how to handle a woman like you-"
"Handle a woman like ?" I questioned, furious.
"Oh, don't pull that feminist card on . You are a free spirit. You need to kill and be cunning to be happy. He wants to build a house with you and get you pregnant?" the humor was not lost on . Jacob was definitely not the type to even think about these things. Hell, he hadn't even pressured to marry him after two years of being engaged.
"And you would handle differently?" he shook his head.
"I would not try at all. I enjoy your wild temperant. I am thrilled that I can die at your hands if I do sothing wrong or offend you," he laughed when he saw the are-you-insane look I was giving him. "We are passionate people, Mia, and sotis it is difficult for us to discern right from wrong and we do things that we might regret. We have our own reasons for it, and we have our own set of morals. We shouldn't even care about right or wrong. We fight it out because we need it. We need to brainstorm and fight to assert our power: to reassure ourselves. We are compatible. So different and alike that no one can deny that we are the most fucked up people that are ant to be together."
"Is this supposed to be so sort of a revelation or proposal?" I asked, a bit flattered by his long speech on relationships.
"No. I was just stating a fact. I don't need to propose anything to you. I know you would never agree to anything that I had to offer."
"What would you propose if I did indeed listen to you?"
"To let in," he said.
"To let you in," I echoed, disdain lacing my words. "And how do you propose I do that?" I demanded. I could see the small smile playing across his lips. He knew that my curiosity got the best of . It was one of the many fatal flaws in my character.
"Open the floodgates and tell everything you feel. Tell how much you hate , tell that you love , too. Tell everything. Make suffer."
"Why do you want to suffer?" I ask, flabbergasted.
"I love you, Mia."
"I may want to kill you at tis, but I want you by my side, ruling beside and telling the world to fuck off. I hate that you are suffering. It is my fault. I should have talked to you, but can't I be ignorant, can't I hope that you would understand that I was struggling every day?"
"What are you saying?"
"I thought you knew that I loved you. I thought you were stronger than that and that you would hold on until soone ca to rescue you."
"And you surely thought wrong. I never knew that you loved . You might have told a thousand tis, but I could never be sure. Now, more than ever, I know that I cannot trust you to betray in again. I will never forgive you, Anthony."
"Please."
"Leave before I hunt down my gun again," I threatened. How much more could a woman handle. He could love , but I could never trust him. His reasons were flawed, and all I could think about was what other motive he could have to use for. What did he need to do this ti? When would he dispose of ?
"Tell what to do!" he shouted. "How do I fix this?" he pleaded.
"A life for a life," I whispered. "You left for dead. You almost took my life away. You cannot fix this, Anthony. There are no pieces, just dust. This will go on until one of us loses our life. A life for a life... rember that. Maybe then, I will forgive you."
Frozen to the spot, he waited for my dismissal. I didn't have the heart to do it. I was too tired.
The door opened slowly. I understood that Daisy did not want to interrupt our conversation. I was sure that she had heard us screaming.
"Murray," I heard her say. "Please leave."
I saw him gulp and then nod. He turned away from . He walked away slowly as if waiting for to call him back. As he was about to leave, I took one last chance.
"Anthony?" I called. He turned, a shimr of hope in his posture. "Never co back." I dashed it brutally. He flinched as he turned away and left.
I hoped that I would never see him again.
I didn't think that I would survive another encounter.
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