Shang He stared at the sleeping ng Gui lying beside him. His fair skin was covered in green and purple marks and bites. It was obvious how fierce they rolled in the sheets, that were now creased and even looked about to be torn in the edges. It was after they finished did ng Gui finally tell him about what he has seen, between him and that rchant's daughter.
Shang He felt anger and regret. He really doesn't rember what happened that ti. He only rembered that that girl called him, telling him that her father is calling him, only to know later that the water she gave him was drugged. Perhaps her feelings towards him are sincere, since she didn't tell the officials, that later took her away with her arrested father and his friends, that there was one extra person inside the room.
But, Shang He didn't feel grateful to her. He hated her because she took advantage of him. So, when he followed after ng Gui, xiao San, and the other children, he didn't tell them what happened to him. If he had just known that he and ng Gui would end up like this, he would've swallowed his sha right then and there and told him what happened to him. If he did, he and ng Gui might be living together now in bliss.
But, there are no 'ifs' in this world, since the past can't be changed. "Ah Yan." He softly called. "I know you're not asleep." He said.
ng Gui stirred, and then slowly turned to face him. "What? Was I mistaken from what I've seen?" he asked.
"You're not." Shang He answered. "Although I don't rember what happened between and her, and I was drugged, but what has done been done." He clenched his fists.
ng Gui fell silent. "So, you were drugged." He spoke.
Shang He nodded. "I'm sorry." He said and pulled ng Gui towards him.
"It's not your fault." ng Gui said. His voice now beca softer unlike earlier which it sounds cold. "Our relationship has always been ambiguous." He sighed.
"It was who should man up, since I'm…" the top. He hasn't continued what he was saying because ng Gui, whose face imdiately beca red, covered his mouth with his hands.
ng Gui gnashed his teeth as he glared at Shang He with his eyes that are red in the corners after he cried so much earlier while they rolled in the sheets. "Yes, it's your fault!" he said as he smiled in annoyance. "We have already done everything that has to be done between married people, but you still didn't confirm our relationship back then, making that b*tch the opportunity to separate us. As a result, we wasted our many years because of that one misunderstanding!" he snapped.
"My fault, my fault. Bla it to my ignorance when we were still youths." Shang He imdiately said to coax ng Gui.
ng Gui scoffed while he chuckled. Then, he planted a soft and sweet kiss on ng Gui's pouting lips before he hugged him tight. As a response, ng Gui scooted closer to him and nuzzled his head on the crook of his neck, nibbling his skin.
Shang He rembered his and ng Gui's first ti. It was before that group of rchants arrive along with the girl. That night, he and ng Gui were on their way back to eat dinner with xiao San who was left to watch the house.
Because they were about to be late for dinner, they took a shortcut. But, they didn't expect to witness a scene of two n making out in that back alley. He and ng Gui were shaken. It was only after that taller man pushed the shorter man on the wall, creating a loud thump did ng Gui ca to his senses and pulled Shang He, who was frozen stunned, to leave.
But, that scene made sothing that obscured their muddled brains disappear and they were finally enlightened of their feelings towards each other. That night, when they were about to sleep, both of them went out and relieved each other behind the bushes and near the river to clean themselves after. Then, it was followed by another night, and another night, and each night after, they beca bolder, until they finally did what that couple of n did – the last step.
Each night felt sweet for them, and they continued to do it. They have already eaten at, so why should they whet each other's appetite? So, they waited for xiao San to sleep before they went to that special spot to make love. This harmony of theirs was broken when that group of rchants arrived, with that girl who managed to break their relationship.
"Hey." ng Gui called. His voice pulled Shang He from his reminiscing.
"Hm?" Shang He answered.
"Why did you choose this na?" ng Gui asked, referring to the na 'Shang He'.
Shang He made a pause. Then, he stared at ng Gui's face for a long ti before he kissed him. "It is to remind of you." He answered.
"Huh?" ng Gui muttered. He looked at Shang He. His face is full of puzzlent.
Shang He chuckled as he combed ng Gui's hair with his fingers. "I t you above (shang) the river (he). So, I nad myself s such." He explained.
ng Gui blushed. "Oh." He muttered, then lowered his gaze to hide the tears in his eyes. Even if they were separated for many years, this man still rembered him. He has always kept him in his mind. In his heart. In his soul. To never forget him.
Shang He smiled. "I am not a good person, and may be considered a bad one." He spoke. "You aren't a good person, too, and also considered bad. But – " he cupped ng Gui's face and stared at ng Gui's eyes that are now filled with tears. " – I want to be good only to you." He said. "And when the ti cos that we have to be bad ones again, then, let remain the bad one, for I want you to beco the good one, which is what you have long wished for." He told him.
ng Gui can't hold back his tears anymore from falling. He sobbed. He hugged Shang He tight and buried his face on Shang He's chest, like a child seeking for comfort. Like when he found out that Shang He has grown taller than him and he cried because of grievance, so Shang He pulled him towards him and embraced him, placing his head on his chest so that his crying face won't be seen by the other children, making him lose his face as their da ge.
Now, it was him who has taken the initiative. "Ah Si." He called.
Shang He sharply inhaled when he heard that na, especially when it was called by the person he wanted to call him by that na. "Ah Yan…" he called. His arms hugging ng Gui beca tighter as he tried to suppress his emotions now raging inside his chest. His eyes beca red as he held back his tears.
He has grown up now. He isn't that child who has to be protected by the person whom he wanted to protect, but couldn't because he was still weak before. Now, he is strong, and he can protect ng Gui always. He won't cry, but he still couldn't help but cry. It was only this person that could make him cry.
"Call da ge." ng Gui spoke. His voice hoarse, and muffled because his face is on Shang He's broad chest.
Shang He. "…" could you keep your mouth shut for the anti? Why do you have to break this wonderful atmosphere between us right now? "… but I want to call you 'Ah Yan'." He said as he pressed his lips into a line.
ng Gui heaved a sigh and raised his head to see Shang He's expression that looked like he was in a tantrum. "Alright, alright." He said, defeated. "Call 'Ah Yan' when it's just us two around. But, you should call 'da ge' when our brothers are around!" he told him. "And 'leader ng' when there are outsiders!" he added.
Shang He. "…" but I want to call you my furen (wife/madam) in front of them all! He internally protested. But, in front of ng Gui's familiar stern expression, his lips broke into a smile and he kissed his pursed lips. "Alright. Your wish is my command." He relented, then paused when he saw ng Gui narrowing his eyes. "… da ge." He forced to speak.
ng Gui smiled in satisfaction. He missed Shang He calling him 'da ge' before. "Good." He said.
"Ah Yan." Shang He called.
ng Gui froze, then his face was covered in black lines. He opened his mouth and was about to speak, chastising him for breaking his words when Shang He spoke first.
"Is your real na Qingbai Yan?"
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