"Goodnight!" I shouted again, doing my best to turn away before soone ca over. I didn't want them to see full on bawl my eyes out, even though I knew they had likely seen do it enough tis already that it shouldn't matter if they did or not.
"Aye! Night it is!" Tosh shouted back, barely able to sit up straight thanks to how drunk he was.
Laughing at him, and the rest, I turned away and left the room.
I wasn't the first to have left. In fact, I was leaving now because I didn't want to be the last. Only Tosh, Lawrence, Sofia and rit had been left. The rest had all headed to their rooms, to rest and sleep as to prepare for the day. I had overheard Lawrence and Sofia planning to leave after their cups were empty, so I'd promptly left before they could.
Taking deep, but quick, breaths as I headed down the hallway… my eyes began to quiver as the world got blurry.
Reaching up, I grabbed at my shirt and winced at the strange tightness in my chest.
I knew this feeling. It was one I'd not felt in a long ti. I felt as if I needed, and wanted, to run away. To hide. But at the sa ti knew I couldn't do so even if I tried to.
Heaving a little, I bit back the soul-wrenching sobs that wanted to escape. I didn't let them live, I kept them back even as I cried a little and gasped for air… all the while walking up so stairs.
I wasn't paying much attention to where I was going, since I was so focused on keeping myself simply upright. I felt the cold wall on my right, my hand was on it, but I had no idea how much I was relying on it to stay standing. Probably more than I wanted to admit.
Co on Renn. Keep it together. Sohow. Please.
Don't let rit, or any of them, find or hear you weep. Not like this. And not for this reason.
After all I had no reason to actually break down. None at all.
That little party had been absolutely wonderful. Pure joy. Bliss itself.
Everyone had been so happy. So welcoming. So… pure. We had eaten and drank together as if life-long friends, without a bad word to even consider between us all. It had been such a lovely few hours that I was now feeling as if on the precipice of a huge cliff.
The little drinking party had only included non-human mbers. And a few had only ca to say hello, to mingle and speak with for a few minutes before leaving, but it had been so utterly lovely that it made unable to contain myself.
I was happy. Too happy. And sohow that was making fall apart.
It made absolutely no sense, but it was happening. My gasps for air, the quick thumping of my heart, and the squirm of my tail were proof of it.
"Co on, Renn," I said through clenched teeth as I rounded a corner.
Where was I…? The world was too blurry, thanks to my tear filled eyes, to really make out. Was I near my bedroom? For so reason I didn't think I was.
Not good. Not good at all. Even if most mbers were likely dead asleep, having gotten so drunk, I knew I shouldn't be spending too long in these halls. Even while utterly drunk, many of our mbers were too non-human to not notice soone weeping just outside their door.
I needed to get to safety. Now. Before I started to weep beyond control.
Where was Vim? I needed him… I…
Taking a deep breath, it stuttered a bit and nearly made cough. Blinking wildly, I realized I was in a stairwell again. One that was a tad different than the rest.
A tiny bit confused, I cald down as I realized where I was. Through teary eyes I saw the door I was approaching, and relaxed even more as I opened it and was greeted by a very chilly night's breeze.
The roof.
Stepping out onto the roof, I began to breathe even quicker as I cried so more. I felt myself calming down, enough so that my heart was no longer thumping like mad… and…
"Rennalee."
Pausing, I turned a bit and found I was being supported. I glared up at Vim, a little upset to find him looking at as if I was sothing to be worried over.
"Well what'd you think!" I shouted at him.
Vim frowned in a way that told he had no idea what to think, about anything, but like always was willing to try anyway.
Then… before I could say more, such as ask why his stupid smile looked so foolishly adorable… I found myself staring up at the night sky.
Blinking a few tis, I winced at an odd pain in my head. Reaching up, I cupped my left ear, as if sohow keeping it from hearing the light breeze that felt really good helped keep the headache at bay.
"Vim…?" I groaned, and my throat felt dry and parched. As if I'd not drank in days. Which made no sense… I'd just drank a lot of cups of…
Taking a deep breath, I closed my eyes and breathed a sigh of relief as I understood what just had happened.
"Well, Renn. It seems we've finally confird that you can indeed get drunk," Vim said. His voice, the typical deep and soothing one, made wince again. He sounded almost as if he was shouting, though I knew he hadn't.
"You're kidding… is that… is this, what it feels like? This sucks, why would anyone want this?" I asked, wanting to whine a little at the feeling. My head didn't just hurt, it felt woozy. I was lying down, on what felt like Vim's lap, but I felt like I needed to sit up. As if I'd throw up otherwise.
Yet at the sa ti I didn't want to move at all. To the point I'd almost just let myself vomit, just to not have to move.
Ridiculous.
Groaning a little, I peered out through half-closed eyes up at Vim. He was smiling down at in a way that made feel a little better. "How long…?" I asked, but couldn't finish my question since my dry throat made cough.
"A few hours. I have so water, and a treat to make you feel better once you're up for it," he said.
"Treat…?" I wonder what kind…? I didn't, couldn't, sll anything.
In fact the only thing I could sll was the ocean air and….
Closing my eyes, from the pain and so I could focus, I tried to pinpoint the odd scent. One I couldn't recognize. One I'd never slled before.
Through a cloudy head, one that was buzzing in pain, I searched and searched for the sll. To put a na to it. A title, or even a descriptor. I not only didn't know what it belonged to… I also didn't even know how to describe it.
Was it slly…? Did it sll good? Did it relieve , or stress out…? I honestly couldn't tell yet.
Taking a deep breath, I held it in a for a mont… and then had to release it since I got light-headed. I repeated the process a few tis, as to focus on the scent and really understand it.
"You okay Renn?" Vim asked, likely wondering what I was doing.
"I am… I'm just…" I hesitated, since I had been about to admit it.
Opening my eyes, I quickly pushed aside the itchy throat and throbbing head as I looked up at him.
Vim tilted his head at , smiling gently in a way that made forget all about the world for a mont. I focused on him, and his sll, and wondered what to say.
Should I tell him?
I should.
But…
"Renn…?"
Sitting up, I found that we were sitting not far from the small roof-top garden. We were alone, thankfully, and although the sky was still dark it was starting to lighten off in the distance. We were on the ground, but there was an odd blanket beneath us. It was thin, not really very comfortable, but Vim's heat and presence made up for it and more.
And…
He didn't ask what was wrong again, even as I leaned closer to him. I put my face up against his chest, and took a deep breath.
Yes.
I could sll him.
This wasn't the nearby garden, or anything in it. This wasn't the ocean, or so weird scent that had stuck to during our little drinking party.
This wasn't sothing found in Lun. No weird food or animal.
This was Vim.
For a few long monts… heartbeats ca and went, as my headache subsided… and I dedicated his sll forever to mory.
After more minutes than I was willing to admit passed, I finally leaned back again. I glanced up at Vim, and found him rather relaxed… and with a looked that told he understood fully what had and was happening.
Unsure of what to say, or how to say it, I was a little glad he broke the odd silence first. He smiled at , reached over and grabbed my knee, since my hands were being used to keep myself propped. "Well…? Do I stink, or am I at least bearable?" he asked gently.
A huge smirk planted itself on my face, so quickly that it made wince. Ok. Headache was still there, noted.
Nodding, after I blinked the pain away, I reached out to pat his chest. "I like it. I… can't really describe it, I've never slled anything like you before… but it doesn't bother at all. In fact it's… kind of relieving, sohow…" I said, telling him the honest truth. Like always.
"Hm… I'm not sure what to think, really. Either you getting drunk made your nose sohow work better, or sothing happened and I don't know how or what. You really can sll ?" he asked.
I nodded. "I think I can even sll your clothes a bit too," I said, now that I thought about it and wasn't as focused on his singular scent itself.
"Great, now I'll need to bathe more," he said with a small laugh.
Giggling at that, I lightly thumped his chest. "With , I hope!"
He nodded, and then sighed at . Or maybe us both. "Well… congratulations, Renn. Honestly not sure how that happened, but good job," he said.
"Hm!" I leaned forward again, to take in his sll once more. It was noticeable, sothing I'd now notice anywhere no matter the situation, but at the sa ti it was light enough that the ocean breeze would carry it away if I wasn't close enough.
Actually… how was it he didn't sll much at all? Now that I was able to sll him, you'd think his scent would be rather strong. Since he honestly didn't bathe and clean up as often as he should, thanks to his strange traits which made him not need to as often as usual.
Yet he really didn't sll bad. I slled no real stink. It wasn't a bad sll, even his clothes didn't sll bad. I simply could sll them now, I could sll the cloth. The stuff it was all made of, such as his shirt and the cotton it was weaved from.
My ears fluttered against his face as I pulled his shirt a little, to sll it more than him.
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Yes. I could sll it. It was a different sll than him. But it wasn't a bad sll. Definitely didn't sll like sweat, or wear. Even a freshly cleaned shirt didn't sll like this, sotis.
Vim silently let ss around with him, even as I went to sll the rest of him. The rest of his clothes. His hands. His hair.
He didn't stink. His clothes didn't stink. Yet he, and the clothes, had slls all the sa.
As if his ability now didn't eliminate their slls completely, but instead just eliminated their stink. That I now could, and only could, sll him and the objects themselves. Nothing else.
It'd be like being able to sll the wood a cup was made of, but not the liquor within it. That was the best way I could think to explain it.
Obviously it had sothing to do with his traits. His abilities. But…
"Sure you're not a dog?" Vim asked after a mont, as I paused a bit to really sll his forearm.
Glaring at him a mont, I went ahead and licked his arm. Vim frowned at as I did, but seed to understand as I went to sll it again.
I couldn't sll myself at all upon him. Even though my breath should be tainted with all that alcohol I'd just drank.
"I can sll you, and your clothes, but nothing else on you. It's weird," I said as I let him take his arm back.
He smirked at . "You tested that rather well."
I shrugged. "You're able to sll , right Vim?" I asked.
He nodded, and I was a tad upset he hadn't leaned over to take a whiff. He instead just gestured at . "I can sll everything about you. Even the booze on your breath."
Ah! So he can sll it. "Maybe I will too in ti. I'll just have to be happy with this, for now," I said.
"You can do what no one else has ever done, and you're upset? That it's not enough? Don't be greedy now," he teased.
"Shush… though, do you know what you sll like? What is it? How would you describe it? I don't have anything to compare it to," I asked.
Vim frowned as he lifted his arm, the sa one I'd licked, and he slled himself. "I sll like ho," he said simply.
Ho…!
I nodded quickly, understanding well what he ant. I supposedly slled like a wet forest, per everyone else's explanation of my scent. To that ant I slled of my ho. Where I had been born and raised.
That ant this sll was his…? Where he was from…? Or at least, where he had been raised?
It was odd. I'd been a lot of places now, thanks to Vim, but none we'd been to were anywhere near his scent.
No ocean. No desert. No forest. No mountain… no prairies or fields, of grass or grains…
"Where were you born, Vim…?" I asked, since we were on the topic. Maybe if he described it to , I'd know how to describe his sll too.
Vim relaxed a little, his shoulders slumping a bit as if in relief. "Far away. If you and I traveled to where I was born, by the ti we returned here from there… at least a decade would have passed. And that's with us hurrying, and not lingering at my holand," he said.
A decade…! I tried to envision the distance, since I had a rough idea. It had taken Vim and I half a year to travel southward, to Landi's ho and where Miss Beak lived, and then back up the western mountains and forests. A mighty distance to , but when you looked at it from maps it didn't seem to be as far as it felt.
"You're talking thousands of your miles," I whispered.
He smiled at . "Many thousands, yes."
Taking a deep breath, I sighed it out.
That was too far. Too far for to go safely.
If I went on such a trip, such a journey… I'd co back to find the world different.
People I loved and cherished would be gone. Or different. The young children, like Root or Copper, would be grown enough to not even recognize or rember . And possibly I them. Plus I'd have missed all the other births too! Not to ntion the humans I loved, like Lamp, Roslyn, Cat and Elaine, would be that much older. Maybe even dead. I'd not want that. I didn't want that.
"Maybe soday," I whispered regretfully.
"Hm… maybe," Vim accepted.
Reaching up, I rubbed my eyes. And upon doing so, realized they were both a little wet… and also burned and hurt.
"Here."
Opening my eyes, I found a cup. One that wasn't water.
"What is it?" I asked. Was this the treat he had spoken of?
Slling the contents, I was glad to recognize the sll of honey. I smiled at it, and then took a tiny sip.
The slightly thick drink felt a little odd as it went down my throat, but after the initial oddness… I felt relief. The stuff made my scratchy throat feel normal, almost, and even my headache felt like a thing of the past as I licked my lips. "That's good," I said.
"I bet. Drink it slowly."
I nodded and took another tiny sip.
"I regret leaving so early, now. Would have liked to have seen you slowly descend into your stupor," Vim teased.
"You got to see the end of it. And… I don't know if you'll get another chance anyti soon. I hadn't liked that," I said.
"Hm… seems you're an emotional drunk, Renn."
"Emotional…?" I asked, but knew the answer already.
He was right.
He nodded. "You'd been weeping when I found you. While also smiling and giggling. At first I thought you were having a panic attack or sothing," he said.
"Felt like it." I then giggled a little, happily rembering the feeling and thoughts I had before falling asleep. "I had been happy. So stupidly happy I wanted to weep and bawl my eyes out. It's why I left before the rest… to not let them see do so," I said.
"I know. rit ca to check on you not long after I found you and you passed out," he said.
Flinching, I groaned as my tail squird wildly behind . "At least it had been her, I guess…" I admitted.
He chuckled at . "She said you looked adorable while drunkenly asleep," he teased even more.
Sighing at him, and myself, I lightly thumped on his knee. The one nearest . "I hope I drooled all over your lap," I said.
He smiled in a way that told he'd not find that a problem at all, even if I had. And I knew I hadn't done so, too badly. I had checked while slling him.
Thinking such a thing made sll him on the breeze again. The faint sll, his sll, made smile.
"I can sll you, Vim," I said, as if I'd just now realized it for the first ti.
"Hm… not sure yet what to think of that, but yes. It seems you can. I think it's how you found , while drunk," he said.
"Found you?" I asked.
"I'd been up here, hiding. You stumbled over towards … in that state? Yeah, led by your nose I think," he said.
"You said you found ," I said.
"Had I?" he asked.
I nodded.
"Well… I turned and found you that way, I guess? Yes?"
I sighed at him. "So in my drunken stupor… while weeping and giggling away, I followed my nose to you. Without even realizing it," I said.
He nodded.
That made feel like wiggling in happiness. I only allowed my tail to do so, as I grinned at him. "Which ans I've been slling you for a while now. I just hadn't realized it," I said. Would have had to, for to have been able to track his scent so well under that condition.
"Very likely, yes."
"I wonder when it started…?" I wondered.
"Who knows? Could have even been back when you first lost your scent. Just took you this long to realize it," he said.
I hope not. And I doubted it. Even with it being a rather faint sll, and not the type of sll to bother since it wasn't a bad sll, it was too unique that I'd not have noticed. Especially not after a bit of ti, and even more so not when you took into account how often we slept together. There were nights I was lying with my face right up against him, either his chest or back or arm, so there was no way I'd not have noticed. Especially not during the more recent nights when it had been cold enough that I had done so while deep under the covers.
"Am I the first person to ever be able to sll you? That you know of?" I asked.
"Honestly… maybe? Though the gods, and certain monarchs, should have been able to. If they could or not though…" Vim shrugged a little, as if to imply he didn't care if they had or not.
A little happy to hear I might be the very first person to have ever known his scent… I held out my arms, as to ask for a hug.
Vim smiled and leaned forward, and gave the embrace I had asked for. I squeezed him tightly, all the while breathing in his scent.
This was mine. All mine. Many people had many parts of him, things that even if I claid for myself now… were things others once had. But this?
This was all mine.
"I love you, Vim," I said.
"Hm… I love you too. Weird slls and all."
I laughed at that. "Says you!"
"Right?"
For a long mont we sat there, holding each other… and then I rembered sothing important.
"Wait!" I pulled back a bit, but wasn't able to get far. Vim hadn't released from his hug.
I groaned at him, since I knew he had only kept on hugging because he knew I had realized, and rembered, that I had yet to ask him how his eting with Light went.
"Vim!" I complained, patting his shoulders and back. I tried to wiggle free, but there was no point. Not unless I really wanted to put a lot of effort into it, but I didn't wish to do so. As much as I wanted to see his face, when I asked about Light as to see his expression and his thoughts, I also didn't want to be freed from his grip.
This felt great. It wasn't often he held so tightly like this.
"You're going to ask how it went, aren't you? With Light?" he asked.
I nodded as I stopped trying to free myself. I returned to hugging him, and gently sighed a bit since it felt great.
I hope this beca a more common thing. Why didn't we hug more often…?
Vim grumbled for a mont, making my ear twitch since I felt the deep sound through his throat that it rested against. "She's like her mother. Insufferable. But not to the point I could kill her or smack her around," he admitted.
Now even more glad we were still hugging, I grinned happily. "So…?" I asked, wanting him to go into more detail.
He took a deep breath, which made my whole body shift and move alongside it, and he nodded. "So for now, there are no plans to wage war with them. Or even argue with them. I have a lot to say, and do, but at the sa ti… I don't. Everything I want to complain about is stuff I know I can't do anything about, not until it becos a real issue. And not without breaking your heart," he said.
My grip on him tightened. Thank goodness!
"You an the prophecies," I said.
He nodded again. "Yes. By the way you'll be eting her tomorrow morning. First light. When you et her, keep up the appearance that you're pregnant for . It might not go well, since she's a real saint, but if we can get away with it for now I'd be thankful," he said.
My ears fluttered. "And how am I going to do that, exactly?" I asked. From what I'd been told, by Elaine, saints could tell when soone has given birth before. That ant I'd not be able to trick her at all! It was one thing to trick the Chronicler, since she wasn't a real saint. At least, not in the way Light supposedly was. I'd not really ever been explained how or why they were so different, but it was the reason I explained away her misunderstanding.
"I have a plan. One that involves this."
Leaning back, since Vim had finally released … I found him holding up a tiny little rock.
One that was just barely glowing. And upon closer inspection had that familiar little swirl of light inside it.
Glaring at the small heart… I realized whose it was. "The little one's? From the Cathedral?" I asked.
He nodded.
My eyes narrowed a bit as I glared at him. "If you plan on sticking that where I think you are, Vim, I'm going to be absolutely furious with you," I said seriously.
He blinked, and then quickly shook his head. "What…? No! Jeez! You're going to swallow it. Just eat it, like a piece of candy," he said hurriedly.
Although glad to hear it… I also wasn't. I shifted a little, and frowned at the thing in his hand. "You… want to absorb a heart? Really?" I asked. Sure it was tiny, and barely glowing… but it was still a heart, wasn't it?
"Why not? You've already absorbed one, so a tiny one with only a little divine power like this one won't even be noticed, I think," he said.
"Right… wait what?" I startled at that.
He smirked and pointed at my chest. As if pointing at my own heart, which had started to beat rather quickly again. "In theory you've absorbed two. Your ancestor's and mine, though of course mine's more figurative than literal…" he said with a strange tone in his voice.
My eyes narrowed as my tail thumped the ground, sounding odd thanks to the blanket beneath us. "What do you an, Vim?" I asked seriously.
He slowly nodded, lowering the heart as he did. "We hadn't left that heart at my cave, Renn. It had been gone. From your bag. You had absorbed it, without realizing it. All this ti. I think that might also be… well… why you can sll now. And a few other things, too," he said softly.
My eyes went wide as my mind whirled.
My ancestor's heart! That black one!
I tried to rember seeing it. At that cave. Where Vim had tried to finally take our relationship to the next level, and I had ruined it by not liking the sll of the place. It had slled like that pit which my family used to throw into…
We had left a few things there. Not just my heart… but…
My eyes twitched as I replayed those monts. Again and again. Even though they hurt, since it was a shaful mont for . It was when I had impeded our progress. Because I had not been strong enough to ignore the slls. I was why the prophecies weren't already fulfilled.
But… right now I didn't want to, and couldn't focus on that fact. Instead I just rembered the events. When we got there. The bath in that pretty crystal cave. The boxes full of stuff. Rugs. Clothes. Hearts.
I had given Vim my bags. I had gone through a couple of them, but not too deeply. All I'd did was pull out the stuff I wanted to keep. I hadn't sorted my possessions by what to leave behind, but instead what to take forward.
So I had not actually really looked for the heart… I had simply assud it was still in that bag. The one I had handed to him, to empty and put into one of those crates…
In fact the last ti I rember actually seeing it was when I showed it off to riah. Not long before we had gone our separate ways.
"Vim…" I whispered his na as I realized what he was saying.
He nodded. "Sorry, Renn. I'd kept it a secret, since I wasn't sure yet what to think of it… but it's true. You not only have your heart inside you, it's fully absorbed. To the point you can take another now if you wish to," he said.
Taking a deep breath, I felt my lips tremble. "Really…?"
He nodded.
"Really, really?"
He nodded again.
Half standing, I basically fell into him. I wrapped him again in a hug, and clung to him… as I tried to decide if I should weep from joy or fear.
I'd absorbed my ancestor's heart.
Without even realizing it.
For better or worse… I was now like Landi. Like Sap.
And I honestly had no real idea what that ant.
Which was sohow scarier than the realization itself.
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