"What's the point in trying if you just want the sa agreent you have already, Vim?" Renn asked, a little upset with .
"I'm not saying that," I said as I stepped over a large branch. I glanced back to make sure Renn was fine as she too stepped over it.
She didn't even notice it as she did, and I felt a little silly for always keeping an eye out for her.
Renn was not so fragile she needed such attention. And in fact, she was as capable out in the wilderness as even the most experienced woodsman or hunter. She had grown up in such dense forests, and it showed. Always had.
Yet I couldn't help my worry from always forcing my eyes to glance her way when we had to traverse rough terrain, or to check on her in harsh elents.
Right now the world wasn't that bad, really. It was snowing rather harshly, but we were under the cover of dense trees. A good portion of the winds were eased thanks to the thick canopy of the forest, and the many trees around us. Plus the snow was lessened too, since most of it fell and hit the trees before it reached us below their tops.
She wore her hood up, but didn't have her hat on. Likewise her tail was out and about, though currently hidden under her thick cloak and jacket. She was walking next to , keeping pace, as we neared Tor's village. It wasn't far now, we'd likely reach it before the night arrived at this pace.
"You basically are. You tell you hate the fact you impose your will on others, yet Celine demands you to require every Society mber to at least once a decade inform soone of authority of their location and well-being. To give a census basically. Why do you think that being enforced is a necessity?" Renn asked.
"Because many of our mbers are unaware of the passage of ti. If we didn't demand such a thing then there would be mbers who could go decades and maybe even centuries without making contact with other mbers. If they do that they could be at risk of being forgotten, overlooked, or even seen as enemies when they co to ask for help and no one rembers or knows who they are. It's to deter mistakes," I told her.
"Yet you allow those like the Summit to not be included in the maps given and offered to the general mbers?" Renn tried to pick holes into the idea.
"Their location is not shared, no. But they still partake in the Society's discourse and keep tabs appropriately. They don't hide entirely, they just don't want their general location known to everyone before verifying the mbers can be trusted. It's from the wars. We had lost a few locations to betrayal and spies back in the beginning, when we had allowed any non-human to join without vetting their pasts or personalities. A fault of Celine's. I was the one, or well… there were those like Nebl and the rest who demanded it to be a rule. I gave them my full support," I said.
Renn humd as she studied a tree we passed. It looked like it had recently been struck by lightning. It was split down one side, and looked charred, though it must have happened a year or two ago at least.
"So… out of all of Celine's agreents, what is it you have the biggest issue with, Vim?" Renn asked as she looked at , no longer finding the tree interesting.
As she did I noticed the cut on her cheek. I had recently put so more ointnt on it a few hours ago, when we had stopped to rest a mont. To let her take a drink and watch the sunrise.
It was healing. Rather well, for what it was. It hadn't been as deep a cut as had originally seed, but it had been deep enough that a human would have taken weeks to properly heal from it. It's only been two days and the scabbing and skin were starting to re-form and stitch together already. Odds are it'd be fully healed by the ti we made it to Telmik, or only being a faint mark or scar by then at least.
I was glad for it, of course, but it was a stark reminder to how I needed to be more careful around her. Around everyone, really.
"I have many issues with my contract," I said gently.
"Na a couple," she suggested.
Right…
I sighed and nodded. "I don't mind protecting our people. I don't mind ensuring they have hos, or safe locations to rely upon. I also don't even mind how the system works, really. I travel around designated routes, only deviating from them when called upon in an ergency. It works, for our system. Since our people won't live together, or even closely enough to justify it, it's the best we can do. I also am perfectly fine with the idea that each mber is free to pursue their own dreams. Those in Lun have as much right to their lifestyle as those like Kaley do," I said, slowly going down the list of the contract in my mind.
"Yet you always complain about how Lun treads into dangerous territory," Renn argued.
"Well… because they are? I'd advise against what they're doing, but I'd not stop them. Why do you think I help them out more than I do others? It's to try and curtail as much danger they get exposed to as possible. But just because what I think they're doing is stupid doesn't an it's wrong. They're as free to do as they wish as all the others have, and when consequence cos calling… I just hope I'm there to save them from themselves when it happens," I said.
"So you're okay with that clause too," she grumbled.
"Yes. I'd not change it. That's the point of free will Renn, you can't have one type and not the other," I said.
"So you wouldn't change how you travel and protect the Society. You wouldn't change your agreents with what you're supposed to prioritize, such as the hos and safety locations… you also wouldn't change how the Society imposes its rules on mbers, on what they do and how they do it, what then Vim? What am I supposed to suggest or change? The only other main agreents are stuff like how you're allowed to hunt and pursue monarchs, or other little things like finding Celine's daughter… which I am to assu is no longer an issue, what with Light being back now," Renn said, her voice sounding strained as if she had a headache.
Probably did, since she was dealing with the conundrum that was .
"Hm… I forgot about that…" I admitted. I was supposed to have found her, huh?
"Wait… did you really?" Renn asked, her voice now sounding happy again. As if she delighted in my stupidity.
"Hm… funny. But yes, I'd not really change anything. I of course would like to set more limitations, and requirents, on how mbers do certain things… but if I did so, I'd be forcing my will upon them. So for as much as I'd like to better protect them, from themselves mostly, I can't," I said.
Renn sighed at . "Then what is it you want to do Vim? If you are upset with being protector, yet wouldn't actually change anything in how you perform such a role, what's the point of even trying?" she asked.
"That's on you to figure out, Renn. You know the Society's grievances. Even if Light and the rest are fanning the flas of the vote for their own designs, it doesn't change the fact that where there's smoke there's fire. People are upset. They're not happy, or have doubts. If those doubts are justified or not is of no concern, because they're real and they're emotional over them. It's your job to figure out how to find an agreent between the Society and myself that allows the status quo to stay the sa," I said.
Renn was silent for a mont as I watched the way so of the tree limbs swayed in the wind. It was interesting to see how so did so smoothly, but others did so stiffly.
So of the trees here were dying. Though from what I couldn't tell. Age? Disease? A lack of proper nutrients?
"Avoiding the fact you just used a couple words I'd not recognized… How would Celine have handled this situation, Vim?" Renn then asked.
Looking away from the trees, I glanced at Renn and her sad look.
"Well… we did have a few instances of internal conflict back in the beginning. Celine crushed them. She either sent to kill the ones causing problems, or she outright banished and disowned them. She had no room for rcy for those who stroked the flas of war or dissent. Particularly amongst our own mbers," I said.
"Celine did…? I thought she was supposed to be so kind of gentle saint," she said, surprised.
"She is. Or was? But when it ca to threats from within she was not kind or gentle. Many of our disagreents back then were similar to what is happening now, if not worse. She wanted to be more liberal with my cruelty. To abuse my strength. Luckily though back then she had not been the only decision maker, Renn. There had been sothing of a council. At one point there were dozens of people upon it, each with a vote. Celine's vote carried great weight, being who she was, but there had been tis she had been overridden," I said.
"A… council? Do we have one of those now?" she asked.
"No. There's no real leader of the Society anymore. So see the Chronicler and her people as the governing body, but reality is they have no great authority. No more than what mbers simply give them," I said.
"Do you think that will change now that Light's back?" Renn asked.
I was about to say no, but realized that was wrong. "Right… I suppose you could say Light would be seen as a leader, yes. Being Celine's daughter alone would make a majority of the mbers follow her. Add her supposed respect in the religious mbers and that would only be further solidified…" I admitted.
"And you're about to kill her," Renn said softly.
The mushy snow beneath crunched, since I had stepped down so hard that I had forced it into ice. "Let's not assu, Renn. Please."
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"Mhm…!" Renn nodded worriedly, then coughed and cleared her throat. "If… if you find Light and the rest are innocent Vim… what will you do?" she asked.
"Do you an about the fact that there is likely still a betrayer within the Society, or riah who would have then accused an innocent mber of sothing despicable?" I asked.
Renn groaned in more worry.
Reaching over, I patted her shoulder gently. "Let's not worry too deeply over that stuff just yet, Renn."
"How can I not Vim?" she asked.
"Not sure. I'm trying to not even think about it, honestly," I admitted.
"I can tell… Fine. Going back to your stupid choice of stepping down," Renn snidely said as she raised a gloved hand, to point at with. "To what extent would you follow your rule of free will, Vim? If the Society was to, unanimously for example, vote to have you do whatever it took to keep us all safe from all dangers… would you do it?" she asked.
"You an if everyone begged and pleaded for to do what I had to, even force my own will and bend my own rules to do so, to keep everyone safe?" I asked.
She nodded.
"I'd bend a little… but there would be a point I'd not abide, Renn. And that point would be reached very quickly. Rember, I once allowed the Society to build entire kingdoms, and then I aided in their wars as they tried to keep them. I basically bent my rules to such a point already for the Society. If you had any idea how many thousands I had killed, or helped kill, back then just because they had been enemies of groups that were only distantly related to the Society it would make your skin crawl," I said.
Renn slowed a little, her tail making her cloak shift a bit as she turned to look at . "If… if you went through such lengths already, back then, why do they now claim you're not doing enough?" she asked.
"I don't know Renn. Because maybe I'm not? You yourself claim I'm not doing enough, so what do you think I should be doing?" I asked back.
Renn's mouth quivered a bit as she hesitated.
I wanted to point out that was exactly the problem. That she, and all those like her who claid I wasn't doing enough, really didn't have a good point of reference to give .
Do more.
Well… how?
Gesturing lightly at her, I did my best to not sound disgusted or disappointed in myself as I spoke. "Over the years I have given more than I wanted to, and then also given less than I should have. I try to always do what is needed of , and sotis even bend and break my own rules in monts of severity. There are many mbers alive today who could be used as proof of such a thing. Yet… so of those very mbers are now claiming for to be removed as Protector. In other words, Renn, I cannot win. So what would you have do?" I asked.
"You're asking to find a solution for you…. To find a way to reshape your contract with the Society, to redraw the lines and rules as Protector… but not even you yourself know how you would accomplish it," she whispered.
I nodded. "Thus my choice to step down, Renn. If my presence is so chaotic, that it causes such discord, then I am more cause for concern than I ease. And that's beside the entire point of my existence. The Society calls its protector… what am I protecting it from, if all I'm doing is making them feel less safe and stressed?" I asked.
"But that's not everyone, Vim. So many mbers believe the opposite!" she argued.
"The ones we've been eting recently have indeed been predominantly on our side, yes. My side," I corrected myself. "But you're either forgetting or overlooking on purpose the hidden truths of the matter," I said.
"Which are…?" she asked worriedly.
"Na one who has voiced their support, while doing so without a complaint alongside it."
Renn's ears fluttered as she narrowed her eyes at . "Vim…" she groaned.
I gave her a gentle smile as I nodded. "You know what I an, Renn. Rapti feels remorse of what she's done… and plans to vote in my favor. Yet at the sa ti she asks , demands to even, to stand up and take so kind of mantle as leadership. She wants to because she believes, un-rightfully, that I am a higher power and thus deserve it… but it's a desire she possess all the sa. She finds , my current , wanting. Elk and his family are furious of the vote, yet he did make a small comnt on my lack of presence occasionally. Lilly, who I would say is one of my most solid pillar of support, also believes I don't go far enough. She hasn't since the beginning. Not to ntion half her family will likely end up voting against anyway," I said.
"What…? Half her family? You really believe that Vim?" Renn asked as she ca to a complete stop, her voice picking up a little. So small haze of white filtered up past her face as she spoke, telling she was getting heated.
I nodded and stopped walking next to her. "Oplar. Brandy. Randle, even. All of them who claim they will vote in my favor, have grievances. Now… none of them agree in how I should fix the way I handle business, nor to the lengths I should go to do so, but the fact is even those who support still find wanting… and yes…" I slowly reached out and tapped her gently on her chest, above her heart. "Even you, too," I added softly.
Renn groaned as she shifted, the small layer of snow under her feet scrunching as she did. "You speak as if there's no hope for us at all, Vim."
I scoffed. "Hardly. I'm just saying I see the end of my position. I expect to still be involved in the Society, and will continue traveling and helping for as much as I'll be needed… but I don't expect my true position as it is now, or the Society as it is now, to exist by the end of the year," I said.
"Because of this issue with Light, or in general?" she asked.
"Both. I honestly don't want to believe Light and the Chronicler intentionally destroyed the fox village. I can see how they had allowed it to happen, because they hadn't gotten involved properly or sothing… but that by itself is not enough for to eliminate them. At least, not without the rest of the Society's permission first," I said.
"Let's hope you're wrong Vim, for once," Renn whispered.
Nodding, I sighed and glanced upward. At the treetops above us.
They were growing more violent. The snowstorm had begun to pick up in its strength.
The two of us returned to walking as Renn grumbled noisily. Her ears and tail were both very active as we rounded a large tree.
"Not to change topics too bluntly, Renn… but you do wish to et Tor, right?" I asked.
"Huh…? Yes. If I can," Renn hurriedly nodded.
"Then we'll need to sneak in. With the vote and all this drama… I'd like to not have to deal with Silkie or her family if they try to deny you entry or sothing. She hadn't officially banished you last ti, but she nearly did. I'd like to think you being my wife now would squash such emotional temper tantrums but chickens haven't ever been known to be calm and collected," I said.
"Hm… should the protector really be sneaking in a predator like that?" Renn asked, and I heard her grin in her voice. I glanced at her, confirming the wry smirk, and sighed at her.
"No. But I do have an excuse. Last visit Tor told to make sure to bring you with , so I can claim he summoned you. Silkie and the rest can't argue with him, since he's basically their leader. But if we can I'd like to avoid conflict and drama if able," I said.
"Right. We're going to that cave then, right? That's far enough from the village proper we should be able, shouldn't we?" Renn asked.
I nodded slowly. "Yeah… by the way, don't tell Tor about the heart you carry," I warned her.
"Hm…? Okay? Don't you feed him hearts though?" she asked.
"I do. Or I have. But like I've said, I don't think Tor can last many more. He used to be… timid. For a monarch. Lately though he's beco very cocky, and it tells the hearts he's been absorbing have started to erode his sense of self. So for the safety of everyone he protects, I can't afford to risk his morality or mind any more than necessary," I explained.
"So… the hearts can corrupt a monarch too? Not just us normal creatures?" she asked.
"Of course they can. Not even the First Born were immune to the divine power of those madn," I said.
Renn was silent for a bit as a strong gust blew by. It carried so thick snow, the type that really stuck to what it landed upon. I glanced at Renn after the gust finished blowing past, and found her wiping her face off.
Right… I'd still not found her a proper muffler or anything.
Why was it proving so hard to find sothing suitable? I had even checked so of the shops while in Nevi. I wanted to make her sothing myself, but would have been more than content with just buying sothing for her. None of the shops I had visited while getting the necessary ingredients for pancakes and her berry drinks had anything suitable for her. The best I had found were simple scarves, thin ones that wouldn't have really helped much. At least not during this kind of traveling and storm.
Had… had I left anything like it at the crystalline caves?
I used to keep it stocked, but I'd not been there in years. Decades maybe, even.
What was even there, I wonder? So hearts, and other items similar, but not much. I didn't like putting everything in one spot. It made uneasy.
I knew that no matter how well sothing was hidden, given enough ti it would be found. I've lost things before thanks to such things. Humans particularly were very inquisitive creatures. There were many who would dare life endangering trials just to find out what was at the top of mountains, or the depths of caves. So I knew better than to rely on just natural protections… which was why I usually buried things I wished hidden. But even that didn't always work, since over ti the world shifted. Earthquakes, mudslides, people digging up whole mountains for resources or sothing stupid…
"Vim?"
I blinked and looked at Renn, finding her pointing to her cheek.
It was bleeding.
Frowning at her, I stepped closer to her and reached out. She tilted her head and displayed her wound, and I quickly understood what had happened.
She had brushed the scabs open earlier, when she had been wiping her face free of snow.
Reaching around to pull out so ointnt, and also find a bandage to wrap around her so this wouldn't happen again, I wondered what I was going to do with her.
"You're too old to be so negligent Renn," I said gently.
"But it itched!" she complained.
I bet it did…
Smiling gently at her as her ears fluttered annoyingly under her hood as I cleaned up the blood and applied new ointnt, I wondered if she had been this bad when she had gotten hurt back at Lun.
I rember her walking around with a limp, or her arm in a sling, for a long ti… but I didn't really rember much else. I had tended to her as we traveled, but she had healed mostly by the ti we had left Lun. Enough to where she only had bruising and internal injuries, like broken bones, not cuts and gashes to worry about. So although I had been gentle with her, I had not been able to see how she had acted or treated her own injuries such as this.
"Do you often pick at your wounds?" I asked.
"Hm…? I don't know…? I usually lick the ones I can though," she said softly as I finished ssing with the ointnt.
Putting the little tin box of ointnt away, I went to find the roll of bandages we carried.
I didn't carry such supplies for myself, of course. I only started doing so once Renn beca sothing of a permanent attachnt.
When was that, anyway…? Sothing told I had started carrying this stuff long before Lun, where we had officially declared a start to our relationship… But how long before? The Smithy? Telmik…? Surely not even before that, right…?
"Vim?" Renn noticed my thoughts as I found the bandage and showed it to her.
"I'm going to wrap this around you. To keep it safe from the wet snow and you. If I see you picking at it again I'll flick you in the ear," I warned her.
Renn's happy gaze turned into a scorned one. "You wouldn't."
"Try ."
It had only taken her an hour to do so.
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