A/N: For the record, I was supposed to write this yesterday, but got stuck with overti at work. The life of an accountant: if you dont' do your job, people don't get paid for theirs and then they get cranky.
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Right after waking up, Asheara could feel that there was sothing wrong. This feeling was pushed aside a bit as she was tackled down by three girls that she recognized as her daughters. The troubling thing was that it took her a mont to recognize them. She could see and feel that all three of them were overco with emotion, but she couldnt quite put her finger on why that would be the case. They acted as if she had just recovered from a disease, but she couldnt rember being sick.
Now that she thought about it more, she couldnt rember several things. It was like there were holes in her mory. It wasnt like she had trouble rembering it like she had forgotten or that it was just escaping her, but instead there were big gaping holes where mories were supposed to be. She knew there should be mories there, but so of her mories simply cut off in the middle. She looked at her daughters crying from joy.
Daughters. Three of them. Wasnt there supposed to be five of them? Wait, didnt Selvaria die? Sohow parts of that seed to be missing too, but she was certain that her daughter was dead. There was a wave of grief, the pain of losing your child would never disappear completely, but she realized that she had mourned the death of Selvaria before and had co to terms with it, at least as much as she could. That was four. Wasnt there a fifth daughter?
Asheara had to really reach to find any mories of her youngest daughter, but finally managed to make so connections. Neleh! Thats what her na was. Her baby girl. Wait, baby girl? Wasnt Neleh only two years younger than Elsaria? Then she should not be a baby anymore, seeing as Elsaria was in her arms, and was clearly a young woman. She could even rember Elsaria growing up. Then why couldnt she rember anything of Neleh besides her being a baby?
Now Asheara got a very bad feeling. She clearly had mories missing in a way that suggested intentional removal. She didnt know much about magic of the mind, but sothing like that could probably be done. The more she thought about it, the more certain she beca that a big portion of the missing mories had sothing to do with Neleh. If they had been removed on purpose, then why?
She suddenly felt a feeling of dread. What if those mories had been removed because her baby girl was dead? Maybe she had been unable to cope with the loss of her children, and this was soones fix to it? Maybe thats the disease her daughters were so glad Asheara recovered from? She could see a tired looking celestial looking at them, and sohow she could feel that the celestial was most likely the person who had cured her. Did she dare to ask questions? What if she broke down again? But how could she live without knowing what had happened to her baby girl?
Asheara was just about to start asking questions when she heard a voice in her head, a clearly female and a very caring voice. Your youngest daughter is alive. I would say alive and well, but that isnt entirely correct at this very mont.
Asheara was just about to ask who the voice was, when a realization hit her. There was sothing about the voice that didnt leave any room to question her identity. My goddess, you grace with your presence. She tried sending her thought back to wherever the voice had co from.
She could hear sothing akin to a smile in the voice when it ca again. Sothing akin to, because there was also a tinge of sadness in it. You will get answers to your questions in ti. I just wanted to reassure you a bit. The celestial is not the right person to answer your questions and neither are your three daughters present here. Neleh knows the best whats going on, but I would prefer it if you didnt ask her for a while. To give you so peace of mind while waiting, Ill say a few things myself.
Yes, you have lost so mories, and yes they are mostly related to your youngest daughter. Yes she knows about it, as she was the one to make the choice about removing them. Yes there was a good reason for it. The removal of those mories allowed your safe return to the rest of your family, but it ca at a cost. Your instinct might be to rush to help your daughter who might be suffering, but you would only make the matters worse if you went now. Give it a little ti, and be patient. As a side-note, your other daughters arent aware of all the details, and I would be a little careful about answering too many of their questions, lest they bla themselves for what your youngest had to pay for your return. Say your mory is foggy, youre otherwise fine and dodge the rest. You will not be lying to them if you do that.
Asheara thought for a mont, and decided to trust her goddess who had bothered to help one of her chosen people. That did bring up a question though. Not that Im not appreciative, but why does our family warrant the goddess to personally interfere?
Now the smile was clear in the voice when the reply ca. The answer to that is part of the mories you lost. Your youngest daughter is important to , and to the rest of the world. More so than you could ever realize. Shes also my Chosen. In a weird way, you are my mother-in-law. The voice gave a final chuckle before disappearing. Asheara could tell that there would be no more answers for now.
It took a good hour of comforting her other daughters and getting reacquainted with them. When they discovered that her mories were a little spotty, they volunteered to fill those gaps to the best of their ability, and Asheara decided to ask so questions about the three of them on details that she had trouble rembering. She was glad that all three of them had found so kind of path in life, and Delia had even found a lover. Asheara could tell that there were so issues there, but real relationships always did. Just look at what had happened with her and her now ex-husband.
What had happened there? Those mories were also partially gone, but she could feel that there was no longer anything between her and Elluin. Then had she found soone else after their separation? Sohow she felt that the answer to that was at least partially yes, since she had so faint recollections of feeling sothing stronger, but that too seed to be lost along with her missing mories. She knew things were over with Elluin, but had no idea what had happened with this new person she might have found. Maybe that too would beco clear with ti.
Suddenly a new na popped into her head. The mories about this na were also fuzzy and fragnted, but she also got a feeling that this person would most likely have so answers. Could one of you find Shiori for ? I think Id like a word with her too. She asked her daughters.
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As Asheara sat in a room waiting for Shiori to co, she tried to both discover where she was and gather all her mories of the person she was waiting for. The place felt familiar, but she couldnt tell why even if her life depended on it. She had the feeling that she could tell the contents of every drawer and closet without even opening them, but she didnt know why. She knew she would be able to find a bathroom even without being given directions, and could even tell that there were several, and a large number of baths in the floors below. Sohow she also knew that there was an open air bath at the back, and a beach just a bit further. Yet she had no idea where this place was, and couldnt have even told what continent they were on.
When it ca to Shiori, her mories were incredibly fragnted. She had an image of a small girl covered in blood that had been tortured by bandits, fragnts of mories about training together and a weird motherly feeling. She knew that the girl was smart, but couldnt say why she knew that. Yet, she had this weird confidence in the girl. It was taking an oddly long ti to get her though. Delia had said that it would only take a minute, and it had been at least twenty.
Asheara was currently alone. Elsaria had gone to get her sothing to eat, mumbling sothing about Asheara not eating for a long ti, even though she didnt actually feel any hunger. Delia had gone to get Shiori, and the celestial had disappeared sowhere, most likely to rest. Selene had wanted to stay with her mother, perhaps to make sure everything was alright, but she had her work as a priestess. She had said that she was willing to skip that work, but Asheara had felt that to be a little blasphemous considering the goddess had just paid them a visit, and had assured Selene that she would be fine. In fact, she didnt mind so peace and ti to think.
Finally the door opened, and a beautiful young woman entered the room. She had these weird black clothes that looked almost like a uniform, and in fact sothing inside Asheara recognized the clothes as the uniform of the Order. The woman had intelligent looking eyes, set in a face that seed both delicate yet powerful. The most attractive feature were the stern but lively looking thin eyebrows that were currently a little scrunched in a frown for so reason. The face was frad by a dark and wavy hair that ca down to her chin. The whole face was a weird mix of beauty combined with a feeling that she could easily blend into the crowd despite her striking features, if she so chose.
Thats weird, she seems too old to be the Shiori I was thinking about. Asheara thought in a slight confusion, before deciding to chalk it up to her missing mories. More worrying was that the young woman was clearly not very pleased to be here.
You seem angry for so reason. Asheara stated simply.
That would be because I am. Very angry in fact. Angry at you, angry at myself and angry at a certain idiot that once again decided to carry all the pain herself. Shiori replied a little acidly.
Can you tell why? I have a feeling that you hold most of the answers Im seeking and I would rather we not have this conversation while you are so angry. Asheara asked.
Im angry at you because the person more important than this world to is in pain because of you. Its your fault, yet I cant really bla you since you had no choice in the matter. That annoys even more. If you had caused this on purpose, I could simply tear you to pieces to satisfy so of my anger, but you didnt and I cant. In fact, it would make things even worse. So I have to settle for hating you instead.
Im angry at myself for not being able to prevent this. Im angry at myself for not seeing this coming beforehand, and not being able to do sothing to at least soften the blow to the center of my world. Im angry at myself that I allowed things to get this far, and most of all Im angry at myself for not being able to take her pain away. I would gladly carry it in her stead if I could, but I cant.
Im angry at her, because she put the happiness of others ahead her own happiness. Im angry that she hid this from until it was too late, and Im angry that she chose to carry the burden alone. Even now she is choosing not to burden the others by keeping the information from them, and keeping her own pain private. Well the rest of you can burn for all I care! Only her happiness matters to , and it makes angry that she does not see things the sa way. Yet I cant bla her for it, because that too is part of what makes her so important to . If she wasnt as she is, then I would not be here either. Shioris scowl made it clear how much she hated Asheara at the mont.
For so reason Asheara had no trouble guessing who Shiori was talking about. Can you tell what is going on? I would help you ease her pain, if I am able.
Oh I will tell you, but not because you ask. I will tell you so that you know what you have caused, and the burden your happiness has placed on her shoulders. After Im done, Id rather you didnt help. You have done quite enough damage, and can stay away from now on. Its about ti soone else take care of her in your stead. Shiori replied maliciously.
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Asheara was standing on a balcony overlooking what she now knew to be Nexus. Shiori had told her many things, yet also left more unsaid. She had told her of the bond, and the pain the severing had caused Neleh, and the pain it continued to cause her even now, even if her daughter decided to hide that. She had told her how Asheara had been one of the few people who Neleh could really put her faith in, and how Asheara was supposed to be a rock of support in the great storm surrounding Neleh. That was now gone, and could not be rebuilt.
From what Shiori had told her, Asheara knew that she been closer to Neleh than her other daughters, but she could also sense there were things that Shiori had chosen to leave out. How much was left out, she could not say. She had heard enough to know that it wasnt a good idea to go close to Neleh at the mont, and also enough to know that she owed Neleh for the ability to continue life with her other daughters. She had lost one daughter to regain three others.
While lost in thought, Asheara could suddenly hear the conversation between two voices, one of which she recognized as Delia. Dont lie to ! You might be good at hiding your feelings, but Ive known you long enough to know that youre in pain. What is going on? What are you not telling ? The voice of her angry daughter beca clearer as the two voices got closer. It was clear the anger ca from worry and caring.
A lodious sound that seed to carry the sound of music replied to her. If Asheara had to guess, the person replying had to be an expert songstress. Let it go Delia. There are so things better left unsaid. This is a ti of joy. Our mother has returned to us. Dont mar it with questions you dont want answers to. The voice was at the sa ti so familiar, yet sothing she couldnt rember. That of course told her the identity of the speaker right away.
Fine then, be like that. If you dont want to talk to , then that is your choice. I just hope you wont keep everything inside, as is your habit, and talk to soone at least. The voice of Delia sounded, and Asheara could see her striding out from a garden nearby.
After a mont, Asheara could see the back of another person leaving the sa garden. The woman was dressed in a fairly revealing white dress that left the back open, although covered by her long black hair that twinkled like the night sky. Just enough skin was visible to reveal a clear and perfect skin in the fairly light complexion so familiar to Moon Elves. Asheara could tell the woman was athletic, with soft looking skin hiding explosive strength and muscle. The woman walked with a grace only found in those who had mastered their bodies through mastering physical combat. It was difficult to judge height from this distance, but the woman seed fairly tall for a female elf.
Suddenly the woman stopped, and turned towards Asheara, as if sensing her presence. Asheara suddenly realized that she had been hiding her presence by so instinct that she didnt quite recognize. Such thoughts were instantly wiped as she saw the womans face. Red lips highlighted the clear and perfect complexion as the rest of the face had almost an ethereal feeling to it. The most shocking part were her deep blue eyes that drew everyones attention to drown in their depths. These eyes carried the wisdom of ages, yet the face had this ageless quality to it. Asheara wouldnt have been able to tell the womans age, because she appeared at the sa ti to be soone who had just co to the full bloom of womanhood, yet carried the gravitas and calm of soone that had seen the rise and fall of empires.
The first thought that ca to Asheara was that Elune had co to visit them again, this ti in flesh. Such appearance could only belong to that of the goddess. Thats why she uttered a small whisper of Elune? before being interrupted by a strange voice.
Youre not wrong, but youre not right either. A girl aged roughly six years old stood near her. The girl seed to be a mix of elven and demon heritage, and had a striking silver hair. She also looked a lot like the woman she had just seen. As she looked back towards the garden, she could not see the beautiful woman anymore. The woman had disappeared as if the whole thing had been a mirage.
What do you an? Asheara asked as she turned back to the little girl.
Elune looks identical to her, but that was not the goddess. The girl replied with a small grin.
Suddenly sothing clicked in her mind. Neleh? She asked, already knowing the answer.
Bingo.
Asheara gave a small sigh. May Elune grant her strength to get through this.
The girl gave a small laugh. Oh dont worry. She isnt soone so weak as to need the help of mother to get through this. She might not look like it, but she has strength beyond anything you can imagine, and this is nothing but a small bump in the road for her.
Sothing in the girls words had stood out to Asheara. Mother? Who are you? She suddenly started making so connections in her mind about what she had heard since waking up.
Oh silly for forgetting to introduce myself. I am Sinestra. I suppose I should call you grandmother? The girl tilted her head in a cute way, and seed to be testing out the word in her mind.
Grandmother? From your words, Im to assu your parents are Elune, and Im guessing Neleh? Asheara asked, reeling a bit due to the realization. Daughter-in-law indeed! She thought a little bitterly.
Bingo, again. See, you can do it if you put your mind to it. Sinestra said in a chipper voice.
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