Chapter Fourty Four
Twink. Twink.
Little golden lights shimred from the gaps in the igloos, casting a honey-colored glow across the packed snow. My eyes were graced with a sudden, jarring liveliness in a land that had been as quiet as a graveyard when I first arrived. The laughter of children echoed against the mountain walls, and the scent of woodsmoke and roasted root vegetables cut through the biting chill of the Northern air.
Where did they even get the decorations?
I stepped away from the crowd, leaning my back against the rough, frozen bark of a pine tree. The shadows here were thick, shielding from the warmth I didn’t quite know how to inhabit.
It has always been easy being alone for .
[Ping!]
[It’s pretty, isn’t it?]
"Yeah," I whispered, the word hitching in my throat as a puff of white mist escaped my lips.
[Ping!]
[You brought these smiles, Host. How do you feel?]
I looked at a group of elderly n passing a flask of cheap ale, their faces creased with genuine mirth. My gaze drifted to the orphans, their new clothes making them look like real people instead of background shadows. The won carrying their food to their stalls.
"I wonder," I murmured, my eyes turning cold as I watched them, "when will they start feeling guilty?"
[Ping!]
[Huh? Guilty for what?]
"There you are, Master!" Kaelen’s voice shattered my isolation. He bounded over, his face flushed from the cold and the excitent, looking every bit the teenager he actually was. "Huff... Puff... Why did you disappear after Vizen and Hans left? Look at the stalls! I’ve never seen the North so pretty. Why are you standing here alone in the dark? You look like a brooding gargoyle."
"No reason," I said, pushing off the tree.
"Master?" Kaelen stopped, his smile faltering as he peered at my face in the dim light.
"Mhn?"
"What happened to you?" He tilted his head, his brow furrowing. "Your liveliness... it died. It seems like I’ve beco more chirpy and you’ve beco dull. Like an old lantern running out of oil."
I looked at him, really looked at him. He was vibrant, fueled by the direct results of his labor.
"Kaelen, life’s just like that," I said, my voice sounding hollow even to my own ears. "When you do things one after another, your energy just kind of drains. I’m fine. Give so ti."
"It’s true. You’ve been working non-stop ever since you woke up," Kaelen sighed, kicking at a mound of snow. He looked at with a strange pity.
Hah... I hate pity. I’m fine. Why do people do this?
"You haven’t fulfilled your part of the deal." I sighed at him.
"The ice house one? You seriously want to know, Master?"
"Mhn."
"It’s a long story. Let bring so skewers from the stalls, Master. Why don’t you light a fire?"
"Brat, you’re the first person to tell your master to do chores," I remarked, though there was no heat in the jab.
"Are you complaining, Master?" Kaelen grinned, his energy returning as he began to trot away.
"Haha. Go."
I watched him disappear into the crowd, his silhouette swallowed by the golden light of the igloos. I knelt in the snow, snapping my fingers as dry branches gathered and stones ford a small circle around it. I snapped them again to ignite a small, controlled fla in the circle of stones. The heat licked at my numb fingers, but it didn’t reach the center of .
[Ping!]
[Host didn’t answer us.]
"Ti answers every unanswered question, Sysi," A small smile made its way to my face. "You just have to wait."
[Ping!]
[We suppose. Does Host rember falling in love? How does it feel like falling in love?]
I stared into the orange heart of the fire. Love? My mind flickered to images of high-rise buildings and the cold, hard glint of a vault door.
"Mhn. Love? I suppose. I rember falling in love with gold. That shiny colour. I’ve never seen a colour better than that in this filthy world. Hah... As for how does it feel falling in love?" I let out a dry, jagged laugh.
"I was a sewer rat who fell in love with the glint of gold that only Nobles could have. It was sort of forbidden love trope, I think. Whoever ca up with the term falling in love must have been very hurt. Because if you think about it, falling is related to failure. Whoever the person was must have failed miserably in love to call it falling in love."
[Ping!]
[Yeah. He did. He held his lover’s warm hand while his own turned cold as he told her for the first ti that he was in love with her. "I’ve fallen in your love, my dearest Freya."]
I went still. The air around the fire felt suddenly heavy. "I see. I’m not really interested in other people’s love life, Sysi."
[Ping!]
[Is Host happy with his hair colour in this life then?]
"Very," I said, a faint mory stirring in the back of my mind "That woman... she must also feel very lucky for having such a beautiful hair color. Even if she was a thief."
...
Sysi?
[Ping!]
[Is her hair colour all you rember about her?]
"No," I chuckled softly, the sound lost in the wind. "That scamr. Haha. She was the first and last person to scam in my entire lifeti. Except you, of course."
[Ping!]
[When did we scam you!?]
"You didn’t tell about gacha spin upgradation properly. I would have still had so points for a spin if you told ."
[Ping!]
[That’s no scamming! It’s Host’s fault that you didn’t ask!]
"Yes, yes. Bla the victim."
"Master! I brought the vegetable skewers! They taste so good!" Kaelen reappeared, breathless, holding a bunch of steaming sticks. "Were you talking to soone?"
"No. You already ate so?" I asked, eyeing the half-empty bundle.
"I was tasting!" Kaelen defended, sitting down cross-legged in the snow and handing a skewer. "So that you don’t get poisoned. It’s a very important job."
"Whatever you say, brat." I took a bite. It was hot, salty, and earthy.
"So, where do I start. Hmm...There was a territorial war in Viscount Eatassh’s fief-"
"Your Grace! The Princess has been held hostage!"
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