“Tsk! And here I was hoping for sothing interesting to happen…” I shake my head while observing the purple crystal representing the dungeon core. “Even here, at the most important part of the dungeon, that fool only put a falling corpse trap. What did he expect to achieve? To kill an unsuspecting invader? Hah! Such a la plan.”
Right when I stepped in front of the core, a corpse fell from the ceiling. It surprised , but it was the only thing it achieved.
“Still, I don’t understand how the author of this guide didn’t say anything about this trap. Is it a new one…? No, given how weak it is, it doesn’t feel like a recent addition. Then… did the author leave it out on purpose? Hmm…”
It could be. It wouldn’t be the first ti a player intentionally hides information to make the others suffer the sa fate as they did.
“It’s weird if we take into account the details about the other areas, but… only the author knows.” I shrug. “Still, the guide was pretty useful.”
It’s thanks to it that I was able to clear this dungeon so fast.
Preparation is key to success.
Know yourself, know your enemy, and you’ll win any battle. Only fools go into a dungeon without prior knowledge of what they’ll find. Doubly so if your objective is to analyze the player’s thinking patterns and prepare a strategy against them.
“Author of How to Stay Sane in The Mad Rat’s Lab, thank you very much for your help. I’ll rember you and the tips you give in your guide.”
Though I must say it’s weird he sounds crazy in the guide, sothing that contradicts the title itself. He must be doing it on purpose, to catch the reader’s attention.
“Alright!” I dust my hands. “My job here’s finished. Now it's ti to make it clear to everyone that he’s not worthy of the Evil Mastermind nickna. It should be , not him, the only one allowed to wear such a title!”
I’ve been working so hard to follow my teacher’s steps… how dare he steal my place?
I know luck is important, that must be why he’s the one getting famous. But luck isn’t everything. If I beat him in a battle of wits, I’m sure everyone will forget about him and start praising instead.
“There are rumors he’s related to that bitch Anthemia…”
Just recalling her stupid face gives a headache. That stupid, brain-for-muscle barbarian… I hate it so much when they compare her to my esteed teacher!
I calm down my breathing and trembling fists. My bloodshot eyes gradually refocus on the dungeon core in front of .
“No, believing in rumors is worthless. He might not have anything to do with her at all. I can ask him directly when we et. If the rumors are true… it’ll give a second reason to humiliate him. Regardless of the truth, what I have to do is the sa.”
I crush the dungeon core and the win ssage appears in front of .
“You exclusively rely on luck and surprises. Your plans aren’t evil, they’re unexpected at best. Any pain you inflict on the invaders is purely a bonus. I’ll show you what real strategy and planning are, so-called ‘Evil Mastermind’.”
Unconsciously, the last two words co out filled with venom.
As I disappear from the dungeon, I start thinking about the ssage I’ll send him. I’ll make sure he doesn’t suspect a thing until it’s too late… Hahaha!
“Get ready, because I’m coming.”
Everything’s within my grasp, as it always is.
“I don’t want to, but I have to… Aaaagh! Why is life so difficult sotis?”
I hate this, just thinking about it gives a headache. But I know it’s sothing I have to do, so I should stop making excuses.
“...but I don’t want to!”
Shit. I don’t have a way to avoid it, so I should stop wasting ti and start. You can do it, Andreu! I’m cheering for you!
… Thanks.
I extend my trembling finger and bring it close to the dungeon nu. There, a dreaded icon is flashing, trying to get my attention.
It’s the ssage system.
I’m sure you’re surprised right now. The ssage system? Why do I fear the ssage system?
The answer is simple: I’m not. What I’m scared of is the number right next to the icon. 150 , it says. Also, and more importantly… I know where most of those ssages co from and don’t want to read a single one of them.
“Aaah, shit… Why did I have to accept to go there in person?”
From that day I went to their cathedral, there’s been a constant influx of ssages, the content of which I don’t want to know.
“When will my life return to normal…? Will it ever return to when I didn’t have to worry about receiving an avalanche of ssages every day? …from crazy players, at least.”
If you’re asking why I didn’t complain before this before, it’s because I have been postponing the inevitable until now.
The thing is I must check every single ssage because there’s so important stuff mixed in there. Like ssages from my friends, from unknown people who ask stuff about my videos, or people crying about how hard my dungeon is.
I especially don’t want to miss the latter.
“Alright, let’s do this… the sooner I start, the sooner I’ll finish.”
With a trembling hand, I slowly bring my finger closer and closer to the dreaded button. Of course, as any normal adult would, I’m hiding my face with the other and peeking between the gap of my fingers.
“Let’s ignore the subjects and skip directly to the text inside. My head will explode otherwise…”
When most titles contain fanatic ways to call , it’s better to skip them.
“The first one is: ‘Oh dear Mad Rat, our greatest…’ This one goes to the blacklist. Next! Let’s see. ‘To our distinguished god…’ to the blacklist too. ‘All Shall…’, blacklist.”
Like this, I continue adding more and more players to the blacklist.
Reporting them for this would achieve nothing, they haven’t violated any rules. But this way, the ga will prevent their ssages from reaching . The only way to circumvent it is to create a new account with a different nickna and start from scratch, sothing no normal player would do.
…but they might. They’re crazy after all, so who knows how they’ll act if they discover I’m blocking their ssages.
At least, by putting them on the blacklist, I should reduce the number of ssages I receive.
“Ah, this one is from Ricard. He’s asking if I want to play with him…” I awkwardly scratch my head. “It’s from the past week, so it might be too late to answer now.”
Though, to be honest, he might as well be inside the ga and will agree to play right now if I give him a positive answer. But I must finish this before I do anything else. Now that I’m in the middle, I must see it to the end.
Mostly because I won’t ever co back if I leave now.
“I’ll leave Ricard’s ssage for now. The next one… I see… aha, aha… to the blacklist it goes!”
One ssage leads to the other and, after what seems like an eternity, I finish reading the ssages. When I raise my head to check the ti, it turns out it’s only been fifteen minutes since I started, but to , it seed waaaaaaaay longer. My brain is like mush.
“I guess this is what happens when you read five words per ssage on average, that it takes a short ti to read them all.” I shrug. “I wouldn’t do it any other way, though.”
If five words per ssage are enough to crush my spirit, reading everything would kill .
After a few ssages, I decided it was better to classify all the ssages first. With my advanced reading technique, I classified all ssages into blacklist and non-blacklist. Now it’s ti to read those that don’t co from the madn.
“Well, maybe they’re crazy too, who knows. But they shouldn’t bring as much of a headache as them.”
I take one last glance at the blacklist. “Oh my god. I’ve never seen such a long blacklist before…” I gladly close the window and decide to stop thinking about them so I will soon, hopefully, forget about them.
Hopefully.
“After Ricard’s ssage, there was one from my sister saying sothing about the voices of my monsters… I wonder what she was talking about. The next one is… Ah! A crying player! I love these!”
I laugh at the ssage before continuing. From the 150 ssages, the list has been reduced to a ager thirteen.
The last ssage, though, piques my interest. It’s from a player called Brainiac.
… I’m not going to comnt on his nickna. It’s too easy a joke.
[Brainiac]
‘Hello, Disguised Koala. Or do you prefer Mad Rat?
I’ve been impressed by your dungeon. I’ve recently invaded it, and the monsters you created surprised quite a lot. I heard about you from the forums, and I now understand why the players love to go into your dungeon so much.
I myself have an interest in tricky and dangerous traps. I love driving my invaders to the brink, forcing them to exhaust their resources until they die, exhausted and feeling useless.
Do you want to have a Dungeon Battle with ? I’m sure we can learn from each other so we can improve at the sa ti. What do you say? Are you in? Or will you chicken out? Hahaha!’
“It is indeed an interesting proposal,” I stroke my chin as I think. “It’s been a while since I last had a PvP battle. As he says, it’s in PvP when the best ideas tend to pop up. It’s also a good place to learn dirty tricks and tactics, as players use all their ans to win…”
The only thing that matters in PvP is victory. Players don’t start a Dungeon Battle expecting to delve into a nice, heartwarming dungeon; they start a Dungeon Battle to show they’re better players.
This is why they think of all sorts of cheating the ga to their advantage, planning impossible traps, extrely dangerous monsters, or almost unsolvable puzzles. Everything they can to try and win.
And, as the amazing player I am, I benefit from it.
Although I don’t participate in a lot of PvP battles, so of my best ideas co from them. Like the Tunnel Mimic, which I created when I was battling Laura before knowing it was her; or the Panicky Spitters, which I created after having to run after a key monster for five minutes to open the next door.
“I’ve decided! I’ll accept his challenge!”
After writing that ssage, I hope he doesn’t disappoint. I hope I can steal… I an, take one or two ideas back with .
“I’ll accept the challenge, Brainiac… Hahaha! Such a la na.”
I thought Ricard was the one with the worst naming sense… I might have found sobody worse than him.
“Three things related to DMA I wished never happened? Hmm… The first one is that ti I tripped into a lava pool right before the dungeon core. That slip cost the finals.
The second is when I forgot to turn off the cara and everyone heard my conversation with my sister. Since then, there has been no end to the mocking.
And the third one… Does it have to be about ? No? Alright. Then, the third one was the day the Evil Mastermind t Brainiac. If only they never t each other, things would have been a lot different.”
- Excerpt of an interview with a high-ranking DMA player.
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