The feeling when Jedrek watched how Kace had an arguntation with his son and how Torak stared at his little angel, or how his brothers looked very peaceful whenever they were surrounded by the people that they loved; their mate and children, was sothing that Jedrek could only imagine.
This was the scene that always ca into his dream, interrupting his not so peaceful sleeping ti, bombarding him with the questions that started with; what if…
Those questions haunted him relentlessly and left him unable to feel any other feeling anymore, turning him numb and feel lost for words.
The family that he supposed to have, but he ruined his only chance, because he pushed away his own happiness with his bare hands, hurting his mate so deep that she chose to stay away from him…
No. Jedrek had been ruining his life over and over again even before he got to et Lilac. This was like a toxin that he passed down to the people around him and he didn't know how to stop it…
Raine said that she and Hope returned to their mates because they were their safe heaven, so it was easy to say that Lilac didn't think the sa…
Jedrek left the party early and didn't tell anyone about it. He just t Sean and told the little boy that they couldn't go hunting now, because he wasn't feeling good.
Actually, Jedrek had never felt better since he lost Lilac, the mont he followed her to jump into the crater, the gates of the hell, just to be with her…
And now, he didn't know how long this waiting would take to end, or maybe it would never end and this was his punishnt for neglecting the most precious thing in his life.
Jedrek shifted into his white beast and let his instincts lead him away from Torak's pack house, away from the commotion that was happening there, away from countless happy smiles and blessings that was thrown at the beautiful baby.
The sight was too blindingly beautiful for a dark and sorrowful soul like him.
Jedrek let his beast's instincts lead the way, dashing through the trees and leapt over a river, letting the glaring sun bask his fur, as the scars on both of his front legs turned more prominently visible and those scars made his appearance more scarier than he already was.
The white beast didn't stop running even when the sun went down and left the horizon or when the sky had turned dark, showing the majestified charm of the night with the full moon surrounded by the stars.
He didn't know why he kept running nonstop. He just needed to run. Maybe this was him, who was trying to run away from his suffocated feelings that made his chest always cave in painfully.
Maybe, physical pain was all he needed right now to overco the pain in his heart that was bleeding again.
The beast ran until the air left his lungs and he was left tired and exhausted…
And now the beast, laid down in the adow under the cool light of the full moon above him, staring into the distance like he always did…
==============
Jedrek didn't know how long he had been sleeping, but when the scorching light of the afternoon sun assaulted his eyes, he groaned and started to gain his consciousness.
Didn't know when he shifted back into his human form, but he didn't feel any better. The numbness in his heart only reminded him over and over again about the void that he couldn't evade.
From the distance Jedrek could hear the sound of the cars and people talking to each other, laughing and teasing. There was life around him, but he didn't feel like he was alive.
Mindlessly, Jedrek stood up and started to walk toward the noise, since he didn't really know where he was after the whole crazy running that he did yesterday, thus he decided to see which city he had ended up in.
With unsteady steps he erged from the trees and stepped on the pavent, where he t three school girls giggling at the screen phone that was being held by one of them.
Jedrek walked passed them and another group of school girls, older people, a woman, who just stared at him and smiled aningfully, a guy, and… more people that he couldn't rember.
He walked like that until the sun went down again and he arrived at a familiar building.
At first Jedrek didn't realize it, but then he rembered that building was the house where Lilac was born. Her family's house. The place where he took her life.
The orange hue of the sun illuminated the almost empty street and the building before Jedrek's eyes.
It brought back mories, but not good ones…
Jedrek stood there for almost two hours, until the lamps on the street poles were turned on and the sky turned dark again.
There was no need to ntion how Jedrek looked like after two days of being on the verge of ntal breakdown and roaming around mindlessly. However, his looks alone could overco his ssy and unkempt appearance.
When the laughter from the house could be heard from where Jedrek was standing, he walked slowly toward its gates.
Maybe, he could hear more clearly if he went closer, maybe one of those voices belonged to Lilac.
Jedrek just wanted to see if she was happy now and that was all that mattered to him at this mont, since the mate bond had shattered, he couldn't feel her presence or mind- link her, therefore he needed to check by himself.
Maybe Lilac was indeed inside the house… he didn't know how could sothing like this possibly happen, but the slightest possibility of eting his mate was all he needed to walk down this path again…
However, before he could reach the gates, a gentle gust of wind blew over and along with it ca a faint familiar scent that made Jedrek stop in his tracks.
He turned around and found a small flower shop, where the scent was coming from.
Only with the scent alone, he could feel the longing in his heart gnaw at him again which then urged him to breathe in more of it.
Forgetting about the house, Jedrek walked toward the small shop, which seed to be almost closed, as soone inside was busy tidying up that place.
The girl sensed his presence and ca to him with a smile on her plump lips. But, she was not her and the scent was coming from the Lilac flowers on the display, not his little flower.
"Is there anything I can help you with?" The girl talked to him politely, but her eyes shone brightly when she watched the man before her eyes and blushed slightly. He was handso beyond words! Like the reincarnation of a Greek god!
"I want lilac," he said, voicing out what he really wanted. The deepest plea that he had been holding back for fourteen years.
"Oh, okay… we have beautiful lilac flowers over here," she talked and showed Jedrek the flowers arranged in different rows of that small shop.
A lot of sweet and fresh scent ca to his senses when Jedrek followed her, but he didn't really hear what she said or what the reason why she giggled happily while staring at Jedrek and led him back to the counter where she would wrap the flower into a beautiful bouquet.
"Do you want to write a letter for the receiver?" The young girl offered him.
At first, Jedrek wanted to shake his head and refuse, but sothing else caught his attention, making this the most montous ti of his life.
She walked gracefully out of a door, looking beautiful as ever and as if the soft light of the moon outside was shining particularly on her, she looked like a goddess herself…
At first his mate didn't realize his presence, but when she raised her head and caught a sight of Jedrek, the ti seed to frozen.
Jedrek rembered that the mate bond had nothing to do with this anymore, but how could his heart beat in the sa rhythm like hers?
The feeing didn't fade away, if anything it only got amplified.
They kept staring at each other, with many complicated and unsaid feelings between them… the love that grown on each other…
"Oh, I think you don't want to write anything, then I will wrap the flowers for you…" the girl, who was being ignored made a conclusion, but before she could wrap the flowers, Jedrek spoke to her.
"Write sothing down for …" Jedrek said, his voice soft, as his eyes fixed on his mate.
Slightly confused, the girl followed his order and took the note and pen. "What do you want to say?"
Jedrek's blue eyes bore into Lilac's, he didn't even dare to blink, afraid that she would disappear and with his velvety voice, he chanted a poem…
"Of all the ones that begged to stay
I'm still longing for you
Of all the ones that cried their way
I'm still waiting on you
Maybe we seek for sothing that
We couldn't ever have
Maybe we choose the only love
We know we won't accept
Or maybe we're taking all the risks
For sothing that is real
'Cause maybe the greatest love of all
Is who the eyes can't see…"
His voice echoed inside the flower shop beautifully. The way he spoke felt like he was talking out of his desperate state…
And indeed that was what he felt right now…
Tears started to stream down Lilac's face when she heard him… his voice, the words, the way Jedrek stared at her with desperation and longing, hit her deeply.
She thought, after all this ti, she would be fine.
After all the years that had passed she would finally forget about him.
After the pain that he had put her through, she wouldn't want him anymore.
However, that was a lie that she told herself.
Because every inch of her being, still wanted him…
Upon seeing his mate cry silently, Jedrek took the flower bouquet from the girl and walked closer to Lilac. As soon as he was standing in front of her again, he dropped to his knees and pushed the flowers into Lilac's hands.
"I am yours, will you take this senseless man again?" Jedrek didn't ask, but begged her.
And that was the ti when Lilac knew that she couldn't really lie to herself…
She loved him and always will…
==============
Thank you for reading "The Love of a Lycan" and this is officially the end. (I am crying a million tears because this story literally has been my daily life for the past two years…)
THANK YOU!
THANK YOU!
THANK YOU!
For your support, comnts, feedback, power stones, gifts and the feeling of appreciation that I can't describe in words.
Maybe I will write a? side story or two about them, but it will be a irregular update, since I am writing another story now.
"MY BLOODY ROMANCE FOR YOU."
Please check my new book.
This is a wonderful journey with you guys!!!
((^o^))
XOXO
Ps: The song; To the Bone, by: Pamungkas.
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