When the others returned, I explained what happened. Well… a version of it. I rather figured that Kiyui did not want people knowing the full extent of what he did. So, I simply put most of the killing down to Feiffer and said Kiyui held his own using my daggers. Phoenix looked pensive… my mum was filled with concern for Kiyui… and Agaroth… well.
Agaroth: “Wha’? The poof? Fought ‘em all off wi’ ‘is poncy wee fox thing? You takin’ the piss?”
He wasn’t quite so ready to believe my tale.
Dwynfel: “No I’m not taking the piss… he fought so hard he completely reopened the wound on his arm!”
Agaroth: “Aye, but co on. Fightin’ off a whole fuckin mob… I don’t fuckin’ think so.”
Dwynfel: “He’s a better fighter than you give him credit for… and while we’re at it… why do you have to be so an about him all the ti?”
Agaroth: “Fuck off. I’m no’ an.”
Dwynfel: “Yes you are… you always are… calling him nas… being derogatory.”
Agaroth: “The fuck’s that even an?”
Phoenix: “Showing a disrespectful attitude.”
Agaroth: “You think I do’nae respect him?”
Dwynfel: “No… I don’t… and I don’t get why you’re like that to him. Cause we all saw you with that boy!”
Agaroth: “Fuckin’ what?”
Phoenix looked at with a glare as if to say ‘really… now?’ She has a point… We need to get back on track… we need to get a plan in place for what to do next.
Dwynfel: “Look… sorry… can we get back to the matter at hand?”
Agaroth: “No we fuckin’ can’t. What boy?”
Oh gods… I’ve really done it now… we are going to have to have this conversation.
Dwynfel: “Look… when we helped Kiyui move out of Mada Laurent’s. We all saw you handing over a load of coin and going into a side room with a boy.”
Agaroth started laughing at .
Dwynfel: “What’s so funny?”
Agaroth: “That’s ma son, ya daft prick.”
Dwynfel: “What? Since when did you have a son?”
Agaroth: “Since about 19 year ago, ya daft cunt.”
Dwynfel: “Then why do you never talk about him? Why keep him a secret?”
Agaroth: “Cause a lotta daft cunts don’t like very much. I’m no havin’ any cunt use ma boy tae get at . Besides, we doe nae talk about personal shite, do we?”
Dwynfel: “You are always talking about my personal stuff!”
Agaroth: “Only cause I’m concerned about ya. Ya need to get laid, boyo. It’ll do ya the world a good.”
I swear to the gods… I want to hit him so badly.
Dwynfel: “For fuck’s sake… we are not talking about this again. Why was your son in a whore house?”
Agaroth: “Cause he lives there.”
Dwynfel: “Your son’s a whore?”
Agaroth: “Fuck no. He no’ so sharp in the head. He cannae talk an’ struggles wi’ things, ya know. Since his ma died, he’s lived in the whore house. That’s why most a’ money goes into that place. They look after ma boy, keep him busy, keep him fed, give him wee jobs, like pot collecting. An’ if he does all his wee jobbies throughout the day, he gets to pick one a the free prozzies at the end a the night. He likes the routine. He’s living his best life. I visit him when I can, but when I’m away, at least I know he’s safe.”
Well, we all clearly read that situation completely wrong… fucking hell.
Dwynfel: “When did your wife die?”
Agaroth: “She was nae wife. I just shagged her a few tis. She died about nine year ago.”
Dwynfel: “So he was ten?”
Agaroth: “Aye.”
Dwynfel: “So your son has lived in the whore house since he was ten?”
Agaroth: “Aye. I told ya, routine’s good for ‘im.”
Why are my mum and Phoenix not saying anything… why are they not shocked by this… a ten-year-old living in a brothel… and nobody passes comnt?
Dwynfel: “He’s been sleeping with prostitutes since he was ten?”
Agaroth: “Don’t be fuckin’ daft. He was nae having sex at ten. Ya cannae just dive straight into that shit. An’ certainly not at that age. And my Jonty, ya know, he's sensitive to things. Gotta get used to the surroundings, get used to the people. They’ve gotta go at his speed. Let him make the requests n’ all that. He needs tae be the one wi’ the control.”
You might be reading a stolen copy. Visit for the authentic version.
Dwynfel: “If he can’t talk, then how does he make requests?”
Agaroth laughed at again.
Agaroth: “Just cause soone cannae talk, it does nae an they cannae communicate. If he grabs your hand and drags you to the teapot, he’s askin’ for a fuckin’ cup a tea. If he grabs your hand and whacks it on his raging erection, he probably wants a wee handy. Shit really is nae as complicated as you think.”
Fucking hell.
Agaroth: “Look, he likes routine and it takes him a while tae get used to new things. An’ ya know what, prozzies are the best thing for a lad like him. Cause those girls are experts in doing whatever the fuck you want them to. That’s what they’re paid for. So, I know they’re no gonnae make him do any shite that he doesnae wanna do. Everythin’s on his terms. It’s fuckin’ perfect. One of the girls even done a bunch of drawings for him, so he can request specific positions. Those girls really do go above and beyond. He’s even had Kiyui a few tis. Kiyui says he’s pretty sure it’s just cause a the tail though. That’s how I t the wee poof. He used tae keep an eye on Jonty for . He really is great wi’ the bairn. That’s why I helped him get intae the adventuring. I owe that boy for looking after ma Jonty for so fuckin’ long.”
Dwynfel: “And yet you speak to him the way you do?”
Agaroth: “Look, don’t go getting’ all pissy with on his behalf. I respect that boy more than anyone. He doesnae take offense at anything I say, so dial it the fuck down would ya.”
At that mont Kiyui ca walking into the room. He looked exhausted.
Kiyui: “What are you guys talking about?”
Dwynfel: “Umm…”
Agaroth: “Plan fuckin’ B. Since laying low here clearly isnae an option anymore!”
Phoenix: “Fortunately, we may have a solution. Provided Dwynfel’s arms are healed by the morning.”
Phoenix moved over and began to inspect my arms.
Phoenix: “One more healing spell and they should be fixed.”
Agaroth moved forward and began healing spell my arms. Phoenix moved back to her seat.
Indira: “So, what exactly is this plan that you have?”
Phoenix: “The Duke of Kataravonia’s daughter was travelling to Vardan, she’s gone missing. There have been a lot of goblin sightings in the area recently, so chances are it was them. I suggest we set off in the morning to track them. And Dwynfel here can sneak into their nest and retrieve her.”
Dwynfel: “What?”
Phoenix: “A frontal assault is what most parties would go for. But that will put her at risk of being killed or used as a human shield. You can infiltrate the nest and sneak her out before they have a chance to kill her. Saving the Duke’s daughter will earn you a level of favour in the realm. There will always be those who don’t accept you, but it should prevent further attacks like today at least.”
I’m sorry, but no. That’s insane.
Dwynfel: “I can’t just infiltrate a goblin nest… I’ve not been involved in the inner workings of a nest since I was two. They’ll know I don’t belong there.”
Agaroth: “Ack, we kill one a the guards… you take his stuff… sar so blood and shit on ya to hide the sll… they’ll never know.
As long as it is a large nest then he has a point, in big nests you only really know the goblins in your imdiate vicinity and the leaders of the nest.
Phoenix: “Besides, with our party as it is, we wouldn’t be able to succeed in doing a frontal assault anyway. This is the safest thod for all concerned.”
Dwynfel: “If we leave it until tomorrow, we may be too late.”
Phoenix: “We have no option but to wait. We need your arms to work, Kiyui needs to be recovered and Agaroth & I need to restore our spells.”
Agaroth: “We only foond oot aboot it ‘cause we heard so rumours in Vardan. By the ti the information gets back to the duke and he makes it an official quest we’ll already be tracking ‘em.”
Phoenix: “Which we should be able to do easily with your tracking skills.”
Indira: “This all seems very high risk.”
Phoenix: “We have little choice. Especially after today. Dwynfel needs to win favour with the town before things get any worse.”
Agaroth: “So, what d’ya think shorty? Twink? You guys in?”
Kiyui nodded and smiled. He then looked at with optimistic eyes. How is he still so hopeful… even after everything that has gone wrong so far.
Dwynfel: “Ok… fine… but we do this carefully and we plan it properly once we scout things out.”
Kiyui: “Yay!”
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