TL/Editor: Butter Cat
Status: 4/week mon-thurs
Illustrations: none
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〈 Chapter 69 〉 Chapter 69. Sensing Change.
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As I stepped out of the carriage, which now felt familiar and even endearing, I could sense the cold winter air welcoming .
The mont my feet touched the solid, unwavering ground, a strange feeling arose. But it was short-lived. Soon, the wind that felt refreshing at first turned bitterly cold, and I tightened the white robe covering my body.
The cold season.
Around , only bare skeletal branches stood alone, asserting their existence after shedding their leaves to the ground.
The only sign of life I could find were the people walking down the street, bundled up in thick clothes.
The dark clouds that filled the sky, made it impossible to tell whether it was day or night, or sowhere in between.
The season closest to death, it’s winter.
Co to think of it, it was like this that day too.
I still vividly rember the day Aris fell from the cliff. The wind was just as bitingly cold then as it is now.
"......Keh, keheuk."
The dry wind, devoid of any moisture, brought up the taste of blood in my throat.
I've always thought this, but it seems I could never get used to the grey, desolate beauty of winter.
Perhaps, never will.
Winter will forever remain a nightmare for .
".....It's cold."
And lonely.
Hoo, I exhaled softly, I could see my misty breath carried away by the wind.
The breath that had painted the sky vanished within seconds, but that fleeting mont was more than enough to captivate .
I inhaled, then exhaled again.
My mouth grew drier, my lungs colder.
The act of breathing, so essential for life, now felt like it was slowly killing .
I could only stop this addictive process when I could no longer form a mist with my breath.
How many minutes had passed since I began this pitiful pasti.
Step, step. I could sense soone who had been watching approaching.
I didn't want to turn my head, nor did I have a reason to, so I just kept looking up at the cloudy sky.
But it seed they weren't of the sa mind.
—Tap.
"…Princess Anna. What are your plans now?"
"..........."
The footsteps that had been approaching stopped right behind .
As I gazed at the sky, gathering my thoughts, a man's voice reached .
At the edge of my vision, I could see the contents of today's newspaper he seed to be holding.
Perhaps it was because he had called out my na, or perhaps it was because I wanted to see the insolent person who had interrupted my thoughts, I turned away from the sky and looked at the middle-aged man who had approached.
There stood a man who had been reading a newspaper on a bench in the square until I got out of the carriage. He had naturally rolled up his sleeve as he approached .
On that wrist, a small symbol I recognized was engraved.
"…What is it? I trust you haven't forgotten the orders I gave you earlier."
"…It's cold outside. You might fall ill."
"..........."
A crow with a sword in its beak.
He was one of the guards who had followed from the Tesillia Kingdom to the Akard Empire.
Perhaps it seed dangerous to them, a woman standing outside in the cold winter wind, so one of them had approached , breaking the unspoken rule of not directly contacting the person they were guarding.
The people drinking hot beverages in nearby shops, the group of won chatting in a corner of the square, the peddler spreading out a cloth and selling his wares, all those people who had been glancing at from earlier.
Was it that they all subtly worried about my well-being.
Sotis, their kindness is burdenso.
Soone like should just be left alone sowhere.
"......Haa."
".........."
So, I had to make a decision.
I couldn’t keep standing here indecisive in the cold, not only was it a nuisance to , but also to them.
I ca to see my sister, yet here I am, the very person in question, unable to face her and throwing a childish tantrum.
But it was ironic that it was they, not I, who were suffering from my indecisiveness.
Yes.
It has always been like this.
Whenever I made a mistake, the consequences of my sins always fell upon others.
How many tis have I wanted to tell those consequences, seemingly taunting as they pass to others, to tornt instead?
Remi, Aris, all of them.
Their only sin was that they had this incompetent older sister.
Then why, why were they the ones who had to suffer?
Mistakes, sins.
All of those things weren't created on their own, but by my actions.
I could no longer tolerate the fact that my weakness was causing harm to others any longer.
"It's ti for to et her soon. Yes, I have to go…"
"......As you wish."
But right now, I was just exhausted.
The journey, which had lasted almost a month, had taken a toll on .
But what weighed down my steps even more was this cold wind that felt like it was clinging to my limbs, dragging down.
Really, isn't this too much.
Of all the day I had co to see Remi, it would be a winter day like this.
It was as if the world had prepared this especially for , to tornt .
It knew exactly the most effective way to hurt .
So.
S-So.
"—Please rest today and recover from your fatigue."
"..........."
"Tomorrow, I will take you to see Remi tomorrow."
One day should be fine.
If I had the energy, I would have gone to the Museion right now and talked to Remi.
I wanted to ask if she was doing well, if she was eating properly, if she still hated .
But I was too tired right now.
I turned my steps towards the inn where I would be staying temporarily.
The sky filled with gray clouds.
Earnestly hoping in my heart that it wouldn't snow tomorrow, that the world wouldn't be covered in white.
**
"…ㅡㅡㅡ, ㅡㅡ!!"
"….ㅡㅡ, ㅡㅡㅡ!"
It's so noisy.
At the sound of shouting echoing in the room, I raised my hands to cover my ears.
But I quickly realized that one of my arms was missing a hand, so I just buried my face in my knees instead of covering my ears.
Thinking that if I couldn't see, at least I could alleviate the headache that was clouding my mind.
Like I was trying to sleep.
I curled up sitting on the window sill, and wished for ti to pass.
"...Alice?"
"..........."
"Alice, are you sick sowhere? Hm?"
Tessa's voice, filled with genuine concern for .
Her hand stroked my head, which must have grown cold from the wind blowing through the wide-open window.
My head moved from side to side, not on my own will, but as if it had a mind of its own, so she must be stroking it, huh.
I wanted to tell her that the thing that was bothering the most right now was their presence itself, but I couldn't bring myself to say it out loud.
The blanket covering felt cumberso.
The emotions directed at had beco tireso.
The best I could do was to turn my face side to side while keeping my head buried in my knees.
A child's clumsy way of expressing her displeasure.
Bang, bang!
"Oh, for crying out loud! Hey!! Be quiet!! Can't you see Alice's condition right now!?"
"…ㅡㅡ, ㅡㅡㅡ…!"
".....ㅡㅡㅡㅡ,ㅡㅡ..."
"…ㅡㅡㅡㅡ,ㅡㅡ."
At the sound of Tessa pounding on the wall, the noise from the next room montarily quieted.
But it was only for a mont, the voices arguing with each other showed no signs of subsiding, and instead, they were gradually escalating.
I could almost hear Tessa's sigh from here.
They had entered through the front door, chattering excitedly.
Those who had expected to see smiling brightly froze in the very posture they had when opening the door, upon seeing my completely broken, unsightly state.
Only after seeing their strange reaction did I realize the mistake I had made.
My face reflected in the nearby mirror, which I thought was smiling, was wearing an expression I couldn't bear to look at.
Soon, Saelli, quickly judging that sothing was wrong, rushed towards , but it didn't change anything.
I climbed onto the window sill with my face down.
And that's where I still am.
"Alice... No, Lady Aris. Have you regained all your mories?"
".........."
"...Could you tell what happened, just to ? Please?"
They were making another interesting misunderstanding.
No, in a life riddled with misunderstandings and deceptions from the start, one more misunderstanding wouldn't change anything.
The only difference was whether I had intended it or not.
But that, too, had beco aningless now.
No one cares about your intentions.
They judge your intentions based on the outco.
Everything is aningless.
The shouting from the room shows no sign of ending.
And then, finally, after seeing unresponsive even when they called for dinner, Saelli decided that this couldn't go on and made a decision.
I just kept sitting on the window sill, my head buried in my knees.
F̸̯̃̍͌̒͆͝o̸̱̳̪̜̖̅r̴͙̻̝͑e̶̬̣̒͛͆̅̍̃͗̈́v̶̼̘̞̩̺̖̥͌e̸̢͍̭̗̘̽ͅr̸͈̙̲͚̤̣͌̋̈́̍̽͆̈͠.̸͎̞̙̉̑
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